Castle on a Crandom Cloud
by DTFrogget
Summary: Two crazy friends live in castles, they like to party and make up their own words. Only these parties are different, Anime, Book, and Movie characters like to come. Lots of FMA. Warning: Randomness and OCs Finally Complete!
1. Aberration

**This story is dedicated to Daddy's Little Cannibal, she will be missed.**** This story is a tribute to her and her amazing writing skills. I was going to post this eventually, but I kept dragging my heels, and Daddy's Little Cannibal gave me a reason to finally do so.**

Our story starts on a Friday afternoon, I was talking to my friend, who shall be known as Oryx from this point onwards, about how I shall become a werewolf and we would both live on clouds. Then, there was a flash like lightning in an autumn storm, and was lying on a cold floor.

I got up and looked around. I was in a palace made entirely out of ice. I ran to a wall and put my hand on it. It wasn't cold, but it was definitely ice. Yet it was not completely transparent, I could see a vague reflection in it; a halo of brown serving as my hair framing a pink blotch of a face with two blue points near the middle. I stood there pondering this…Then lost the Game! I whirled around, looking for Oryx so she could lose the Game too. But I couldn't see her anywhere.

I started to panic like a Peanut gone hyper on sugar; I was on the verge of running off into the cavernous castle in an attempt to find her, when I remembered what we were talking about just minutes ago, living in a castle on a cloud… I shot up and ran to a window. Looking out, I saw white fluffy cloud, spread out before me. With clear blue reigning above.

I started to plan everything I was going to do, throw parties, make shapes with clouds. But then, the thought hitting me like a rampaging FanGirl, I knew that I would have no fun at all without Oryx. When the subject of moving around came into our conversation we decided on teleporting, or Porting, as we called it. I imagined myself next to Oryx, I felt a slight tug. When I opened my eyes I was standing in an Ice Palace a few metres away from her.

"Tampo Kachi!" she yelled.

"Tampo Kachi!" I replied, looking around. "So you got a castle too then." She nodded. "I wonder if this means I'll become a Werewolf. Oh well, it'll happen if it happens. I'm gonna go back to mine and see what I can do with it!" I said cheerily. "Bye! See you soon!" I squealed like a chipmunk on crack, and Ported back to my castle.

When I got there the first thing I did was cover the floors with carpet and tiles. Better than ice, not as slippy, this was a good thing as I have a frequent habit of tripping over things that aren't there as well as a good deal of things that are. I climbed to the top of the second or third highest tower in the castle, decided to claim it as my own, and leant on the window sill, discovering as I did that I could see Oryx's castle. Oryx was looking out a window; I waved, as did she.

"How's it going Frog?" she called.

"All is well! I lost The Game!" I answered, finally making good on my wish, and thus fulfilling a life long goal.

"Same here!" I turned around to inspect my room. It was big, painted a deep blue, with a double bed, also a deep blue. There was a smaller bed off to the side under the window that I was kneeling on to see out. I jumped down, walked over to the armchair; also blue, sat down, and turned on the TV. Oryx was near the end of the news report.

"And in other news, tomorrows forecast is cloudy, with a chance of meatballs" she said in an official tone. I laughed happily and fell off the chair, and my cliff.

After climbing up my cliff I went over to my bookshelf to see if it had any info on the castles. I saw a book titled, 'What is going on, and what to do, if you find yourself in an Ice Castle in an alternate dimension that you can bend to your will.' smirking, I pulled it off the shelf and flicked through it.

"Ooh, I get it" I said quietly to myself, then Ported over to Oryx's Castle. On arrival I found her sitting in the most outrageously purple room I had ever seen. I walked up to where she was sitting in her purple chair reading her purple book with her dark brown hair falling over her face and said, "We are in our own universe and dimension" She looked up from her book, 'How to stalk the Nine Divines' and watched me for a moment with wide brown eyes and said,

"Awesome," I nodded.

"I'm going to go plan a moving in party now, I'll summon you when It's ready, 'K?" She nodded and started taking notes from her book. I ported back to my castle and started to decorate the big Party Hall I discovered. I decorated the hall with a combination of Blue, Purple, and Red paint, Llama posters, and other party supplies.

Once it was decorated and I had the food and music ready, I worked on the invitations. I sent them to, among others, Tortallian characters, Maximum Ride characters, Nightmare Before Christmas characters, The Avatar characters, and most of the FullMetal Alchemist characters. Once they arrived I Summoned Oryx to the castle and the partying began.

"Hey Frog!" Oryx said when she arrived, "Look what I just invented!" She showed me a purple IPod with no visible headphone port or speakers.

"Awesomeness, how does it work?" I asked while leading her into the Party Hall.

"Well" Oryx answered, "It just transmits directly into your brain. No ear killing sound. Not to mention that you now can't annoy everyone around you by playing terrible music really loud."

"Cool! Can I have one?"

"Sure! I made one for you; it has a personalized playlist I thought would suit too." She said, while handing me a black IPod.

"Thanks Oryx!" I said, before running around in circles and screaming hysterically like a FanGirl. Then I saw something that made me stop and go silent; FMA characters. "Oryx look!" I said pointing. "It's Ed and Al!" I grabbed an apple Pie and handed an Orange striped cat to Oryx, then dragged her behind me to where the Elrics were standing. Walking past the Rock Dwarf band, Avalanche, playing on their drums, bells, and harps. "Hi, I'm Frog and this is my friend Oryx." I said to Ed when we got to them, I turned to gesture to

Oryx but found her deep in conversation with Al.

"Nice to meet you," Ed said politely. Obviously deciding that he need not introduce himself and his brother to me as I was the hostess. "Cool party."

"Thanks," I said, "would you like some pie?" I offered the pie in my hand to

him. We shared the pie and struck up a conversation. We were discussing the finer points of pie baking when there was a sound like thunder mixed with breaking waves. FanGirls poured into the castle, tackling characters left and right. I raised my arms, in a Merlin like gesture, and a crack split the air, the FanGirls spontaneously combusted.

There was silence for a few seconds, then the band struck up again, and the party went back to something resembling normal. Those suffering from fan caused injuries were tended my Minions, who vanished after tending each wound.

Then I noticed that the Elrics had remained un-hugged, so, not wanting them to feel left out, I jumped on Al, as he was the most huggable of the pair. Oryx shook her head disapprovingly, then shrugged and joined me. I left Al to her and went to tell Ed that he is awesomely cool.

Oryx stoped hugging Al, heals him, and dragged him away to make small talk. I watched them go. Excusing myself, I left Ed for a moment to go and check that the party was going well, and pray to the Nine Divines that it stayed well. The party was a casual affair, eating some food, dancing a little. Everything looked good so I went back to Ed. I poked his Automail,

"You know this is the coolest thing ever, right?"

Meanwhile

"So I got this new oboe and I practised for two hours this-afternoon." Oryx was telling Al, who looked quite interested.

"Really? Me and Brother never learnt any musical instruments, is it fun?"

Back at the party

"—was one of the most terrifying nights of our lives! Al almost dying in not cool! His being stuck in that armour is not cool!" Ed yelled at me, Oryx appeared and banished Ed to an Anti-magic and Alchemy cage.

"Thank you Oryx." I said, and then went to talk to Jack Skellington while Ed calmed down. After a half-hour discussion with Jack about Halloween decorations for the castle, during which Oryx vanished back to her conversation with Al, I let Ed out of his cage, which also vanished.

"I still say your Automail is the coolest thing in the world.

Meanwhile At the rest of the party

Winry is being questioned by The Doctor from The Nightmare Before Christmas about Automail techniques, Mustang is dancing with Riza, and the other officers are talking and eating. The Tortallian characters, the ones from only the Alanna, Immortals, and Beka Cooper books, are enjoying the party also. Numair is chatting to Daine and Alanna, George is conversing with Jonathan while the wolves sleep in a corner.

Those from the Maximum ride 'verse are getting into celebrating. Max and Fang are dancing, Gazzy is setting off fireworks, and Nudge and Angel are admiring the mini Ice Palace in the middle of the food table. Iroh is drinking tea at the tea table, Azula and co. are sitting in a gloomy corner with Ozai, Aang is dancing an old Fire Nation dance with Katara, Zuko is testing to see if the walls of the Palace melt like ice. Toph is trying to teach Iggy to feel the vibrations in the ground.

With Al and Oryx

"'A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.' - Herm Albright." Oryx said Al smiled at her.

"'Even in the darkest of suffering, a man can sleep. But for the person that inflicts the suffering, his mind cannot rest, Ever.'" They continued to throw random quotes at each other. Until…

"Al do you ever wish you were out of that armour?" Oryx asked.

"Sometimes, it's hard, not having a real body." He cut himself off. Oryx nodded and clapped her hands; black smoke rose up in a circle around Al. When it cleared the armour was lying on the floor. Where it had been sitting was, as Oryx puts it, Perfection personified. Long blonde hair pulled back with a small black tie at the base of his hair. Al turned to look at her with large shining hazel eyes.

PARTY!

"I feel a disturbance in the force! Yatte Kimasu!" I yelled and ran off to where Al and Oryx were now swapping stories about animals. "What did you do!" I screamed when I saw Al in his human body. "The canon!" I fell to the floor and had a small hysterical fit.

"Calm down Frog." Oryx said calmly.

"NO!" I screamed, whacking the floor with my head.

"I can only do it 'cause this is our dimension universe thing. I don't think it's permanent." She looked sadly at Al, "Can't you give him this? You know better than I do what this means to him, and Ed." Oryx hasn't seen all the anime and I myself haven't seen the movie. I look up so see Al petting the cat that Oryx brought when she met him.

"Ok then, what about Ed's Automail? Can we fix that too?" Al gasped, I looked over at him. "What?"

"Brother doesn't know I've got my body back! We have to go tell him!" He grabbed mine and Oryx's hands and dragged us downstairs. "Nii-san! I'm back! I have a body again!" he raced into the Hall and Ed looked up in shock from his game of cards and tea with Iroh. When he saw Al his eyes got really big, he got up and ran up to where Al was standing in the doorway and tackled him in a hug.

"What happened?" He demanded, looking at us.

"Well this is our dimension" I explained, "so we control and can change whatever is in it. So we could fix you too, if you wanted us too." He looked shocked for a second, and then shook his head slowly.

"Brother! What are you doing?" Al shouted.

"I want to do it myself, it's my burden. The only thing I wanted to do was get your body back Al. Now that I have I can retire from the military" he walked over to where Mustang was standing at the punch bowl and said something to him, Mustang looked shocked. Ed pulled his watch out of his pocket and tried to give it to Mustang but he wouldn't take it. We crept up behind them to hear what they saying.

"Keep it, a parting gift." Mustang said, and walked off. Ed turned around.

"But Brother" Al said, "You can't get into the State library unless you're a State Alchemist"

"I don't need the library anymore; we can go back to our lives now"

"Um, I'm not so sure about that," I said, they all turned to face me.

"Well this is our dimension right?" They nodded, "So we make the laws, but your home," I pointed to Ed and Al, "is in a dimension where this couldn't happen logically."

"So what you're saying is that Al having his body should only last while he's in this dimension?" Ed said to me, I nodded.

"What can we do about it?" I asked Ed, Al and Oryx had wandered over to the dance floor.

"No idea" I had an idea.

"Stay here" I ran up the stairs and into the room I had found Al and Oryx in, I grabbed the armour and dragged it back to the Party Hall.

"Maybe this has something to do with it" I said, handing the armour to Ed.

"It's likely, let's check the blood seal." we pulled the helmet off the armour and saw it, the seal, blood red.

During the previous events the other guests at the party have gone home vanishing back to their own dimensions as they stepped out the door.

Seeing the blood seal was a shock, "But his soul's in a body now," Ed said, "It should have vanished." I pulled a knife out of my pocket,

"Al's soul is definitely in his body now, at least most of it is." I cut through the armour around the seal, pulling it out and giving it to Ed. "You should be able to find a way to help him. You are the youngest State Alchemist ever. You can use my library." He smiled.

"Thanks."

**And so it began.**

"Well," I said, clapping my hands, "now that we have that sorted out, who wants to help me clean up?" Oryx and Al were fast asleep in a corner and Ed was moving the Armour into a cupboard in the front Hall. I walked up to Ed,

"Poke" I poked him, he span around.

"What'd you do that for?" he asked.

"You, Shorty, have just been chosen to help me clean up!" I said, as if giving out a prize. I noticed Ed glaring at me, about to explode. "What?"

"Who are you calling so small that an ant needs a microscope to see him!" Ed yelled while chasing me around the Party Hall. His yelling woke Al up. He noticed then how they had fallen asleep, hands entwined, and blushed, I laughed and stopped running, Ed ran into me.

"Come on Edo, cleaning time" I grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him over to a wall. "Take off the paint and other decorations on all the walls I'll deal with the food." I started to wipe up drink spills and collect dropped food, while Ed was getting rid of the paint and decorations using Alchemy. Al shifted slightly and woke Oryx up; she smiled sleepily up at him. I laughed, and fell of my cliff. Ed did his awesome alchemy thing and saved me. I climbed up the cliff and he pulled me over the top.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yep, that happens sometimes, something usually saves me before then though." I smiled.

In The Corner 

(The happy shiny corner of magic!)

"They should get together" Oryx whispered to Al conspiratorially.

"She might be good for Brother." Al replied, they both watched Frog hit Ed in the back with a folding chair for making a comment about her decorations. "Or not." They both said together.

Back to The Hall 

(Of Oranges!)

"You're just jealous that you're shorter than someone who's two years younger than you, and a girl too!" I laughed. Ed turned red.

"Am not! And you're only 9 centimetres taller!" He shouted.

"But I'm still taller!" I yelled back, he threw a piece of cake at me. I responded with an entire turkey. It hit him on the head and knocked him out. I laughed so hard that I let go of the ladder I was using to scrape cheese off the ceiling and fell off of it, and off my cliff, and into a river at the bottom, laughing all the way.

Once again The Corner

(Of Awesomeness! And glitter!)

"They should so get together, don't you think?" Oryx said, looking up at Al from her position next to him.

"I think we should get together." Muttered Al, pulling her into a hug. Oryx giggled and dragged Al off to her castle and room.

Back in The Hal-Hey, who are you what're you doin- 

AWESOMENESS! CHEESE!

I pulled myself up the cliff again and ran over to where Ed was now sleeping. I sighed, knelt down, and poked him just below his ear; his right arm came up and hit me in the jaw. I blacked out.

**That was the first chapter of CCC! I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews welcome, Flames will be laughed at, mocked, and then used to heat my poor cold friends. I suppose you could call us Mary-sues. You can call me a confused giant mutant ninja ten pound turkey in a top hat, (moo) and it wouldn't make much of a difference, but I did warn you.**

**Next time on CCC: More stuff happens.**


	2. Burgeon

**I do not own FMA, Resident Evil, Oryx's jelly (she does), Or Carly Simon's coffee.**

In my mind…

_I'm running, for my life. Someone's behind me. Who is it? I try and turn, but all I can do is run._

_Suddenly I'm standing in front of a burning house, the flames spread to the Oak tree next to it. I turn and walk slowly away, feeling a weight settle on me._

_Now I'm propped up against a wall in the rain, watching as it falls. I can feel something warm covering my back and head. I try to bring my hand to the back of my head to feel it. But I can't move it, all I can do is stare at the rain as it falls._

CHIPMUNKS! KILLER CHIPMUNKS!

Oryx and Al sat on a deep purple couch in a darkened room watching a movie. Resident evil, to be precise. As the first person got eaten Oryx let out a small squeak of surprise and pressed closer to Al. He looked down at her, compassion in his eyes. Oryx looked up at him and raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Is this too scary for you?" Al asked, concerned. He'd never been a big fan of horror but it was worth it to be with Oryx. Oryx nodded meekly, this movie had never been too scary for her before but she wasn't really in the mood for horror and Al seemed uncomfortable with it anyway. He kissed her forehead and turned off the TV. They had a conversation about music instead. After which they retired to Oryx's bed and fell asleep.

ANTECHAMBER OF CONGREGATION!

I woke up and shook my head, what a weird dream. I looked over to where Ed was still sound asleep. I sighed and grabbed Ed by the wrists. I dragged him up to my room and put him in the spare bed, then fell into my own.

MISANTHROPY!

I was woken the next morning by Ed poking me with his hard, cold, Automail arm, I sat up.

"What!" I snapped.

"I'm hungry" Ed said, poking me again. I hit him over the head with a wrench, he sat down on his bed.

"Good, I think there might be some leftover sushi downstairs" I said, pointing at the door. Ed ran out of the room. I closed the door behind him and got dressed. I walked over to the window and looked out, more cloud. I decided I wanted to add something to it.

I closed my eyes, seeing every detail. When I opened them there was a hawk flying past the window, a rabbit in its claws. I watched it fly past, and then turned my attention to the forest that had sprung up, starting a good distance away from the castle, leaving plenty of open cloud. I smiled and went downstairs to see what Ed was doing. He was sitting at the table, staring at a glass of milk. I walked up to him.

"Ed, why are you staring at that glass of milk?" I asked.

"It's taunting me" He answered without looking up." I grabbed the milk and drank it.

"Not anymore." I said as I put the glass down, Ed looked at me as if I had the plague. "What?" I asked.

"You just…" he trailed off.

"Drank milk" I finished, he just stared.

In The Land of Unctuous Pickles!

Oryx woke up with Al's arms still circling her, she pressed her lips to his. His arms tightened and his eyes opened. She pulled back.

"Good morning" she said, smiling. He smiled back.

"Morning, are you hungry at all?" she nodded.

"How about jelly?" she asked.

"Sure, sounds good" Oryx sat up and made a motion like she was calling someone over to her, twelve cups of jelly flew into the room and over to the bed. "We're going to eat all that?" Al asked, eyebrows raised.

"No," she replied, "just wait."

Attack! My Army of Rambunctious and Man Eating Beavers!

My head whipped round to the direction of Oryx's castle,

"I sense a disturbance in the force! Of the jelly kind!" I grabbed Ed by the wrist and Ported to Oryx's room, she was sitting in bed, with Al, I raised my eyebrows. She smiled when she saw me and looked at a purple stopwatch in her hand.

"3.45 seconds to find the jelly" she gave a short round of applause.

"I would have been here sooner only this one," at this I poked Ed in the head, "slowed down travelling time." My eyes flicked back to Oryx; "You said jelly?" she smiled and threw me two cups of jelly. "Can we have some more?" I asked, "He eats like a pig when he gets the chance." Pointing to Ed. Oryx threw four cups at Ed. "Cool, thanks, see ya!" I waved, and Ported back to my castle.

Ed and I sat down across from each other in an empty room, prepared for a jelly feast.

"So what's with the three second reaction time to Oryx's jelly?" Ed asked, snirking that snirk of his.

"Just taste it, you'll see why." I said, snirking a little snirk of my own. Ed grabbed a cup of jelly and a spoon, he spooned some jelly into his mouth.

"This is pretty good," he said, I nodded.

"Makes a good projectile too," I said, then loaded up my spoon and flicked some jelly at Ed. He responded with some of his own. A food fight ensued. Half an hour later we stood across from each other, covered in jelly and smiling.

"How much have you got left?" I asked, wiping jelly off my nose.

"Just one cup," said Ed. I nodded.

"Me too" he looked a little surprised.

"But you only had two to begin with!" He said.

"I stole some of yours when you weren't looking," I grinned, watching his reaction to see if I should run, he smiled at me.

"Truce?"

"Truce." We sat down and enjoyed our jelly together. After a while I raised my head. "Hey Ed?" He looked up,

"Yeah?" I paused for a minute, trying to phrase my question.

"What advice would you give to a new alchemist?" Ed blinked, and then said.

"Don't give up when you can't do something. Take a break, come back to it later. Think about everything in a logical way. Why do you ask? Thinking of becoming a State Alchemist?" I shook my head.

"I'm just interested in learning more about the great science that is Alchemy. Though, as I'm not a prodigy like you, and only have books, I haven't gained much of an understanding yet." Now Ed looked even more curious.

"How many books do you have?" he asked, I beamed proudly.

"I don't know, a lot though, if you wanted to I could show you my library."

"Sure, sounds good" We stood up, I looked down at my clothes, they were covered in jelly from our fight earlier.

"Maybe we should change first." Ed nodded.

"Or I could transmute the jelly off." He said, clapping his hands and Transmuting the jelly off of his clothes. He looked at me.

"It would save time." He Transmuted the jelly off my clothes too. Then I grabbed his wrist and led him through the castle to the library.

My library was like a whole other building in itself, not just a room or a floor. I don't know how many floors it has, but it does have two Alchemy floors. I led Ed to the first floor and pushed open the set of double doors. He ran over to the nearest shelf and started pulling books down, making two piles on the desk behind him. He turned to me.

"These are good if you're just starting out." He said, gesturing to one of the piles. "What have you been doing up 'till now?" He asked. I led him into the office just off the Library that I used when I was doing Alchemy. I showed him my notes and the few Alchemic arrays I had managed to draw. He looked at them critically, not missing a single mistake. "This line should join up with that one, but avoid going through this one" He said while pointing to the array that I was currently working on.

"Thanks for the help." I said, "I'll stay in here for a while, feel free to explore the library." He shot out the door, back to his Alchemy.

Por otra parte en el castillo de Hielo

"So what was the plan for today Oryx?" Al asked.

"Well, I was thinking that we could eat some ice-cream, and then go swimming in Carly Simon's coffee. How's that sound?" Al grinned.

"Sound's like fun" So Oryx Ported them both to Carly Simon's coffee and they sat on the edge eating ice-cream.

Oryx felt the cold from the Ice-cream sinking into her body and shivered. Al put an arm around her shoulders and pressed her to him; she looked up at him and smiled a small smile that was full of warmth. They ate the rest of the Ice-cream, chatting while they did so.

Then Oryx stood up, "Yatte Kimasu, Aru-kun!" She yelled and jumped into the coffee, dragging Al with her. The coffee had been sitting wherever it was for a little while already, so it was comfortably warm. After basking in the warmth for a few minutes, Al and Oryx engaged in a water, or coffee, fight.

At about half past ten they pulled themselves from the cup and Ported back to the castle, just in time for a pigeon to fly in through the window, and I mean through it, there was glass everywhere, with a note from Frog and Ed inviting them to lunch at the castle.

**And that, my dear reader, was the latest instalment of CCC. **

**Next time: I set things on fire. **

**Surprise! It's the clothes!  
You are so weird. **


	3. Cataclysmic

**Here it is what you've been waiting for! Chapter three!  
Disclaimer I do not own FMA, or any other TV shows, Books, Movies, and brand names mentioned.  
Claimer: I own the Ninjas. And this stuffed CatBus.**

In Memoria of meus Libri

"So it causes the chain reaction that then sets off the evaporation." Ed explained, I nodded and looked at my watch.

"Nombre De Dios!" I cried, "Look at the time! I meant to invite Oryx and Al over for lunch! Come, Edo!" I grabbed Ed's wrist and dragged him out of the library and down to the kitchen.

"But it's only ten o'clock!" he protested as I pushed him over to the cupboard.

"Lunch doesn't cook itself! Hand me the parsley." He handed over the herb and I started work. Two and a half hours later we were standing in the Party Hall looking down at the dining table happily. Admittedly, Ed was sporting a bruised head from where I accidentally hit him with a pan, and my hair was a little charred, but the food looked good.

"Now all that's left is to write the invitation." I snatched some paper and a pencil from a statue standing nearby, I scribbled a note to Oryx and Al. I ran over to the open window and snatched Penelope, the resident head pigeon, out of the sky. "Take this to Oryx and Al for me please." I said, tying the note to her leg, it fell off. "Oh for Jed's sake!" I snapped, picking the paper up off the ground. "Edo, would you tie this onto her leg for me?" Ed sighed.

"Fine." He walked over, took the note and string off me, tied it to Penelope's leg, and threw her out the window. Suddenly a dark shape fell from the ceiling and slammed into me, I got a last glimpse of more dark shapes fighting Ed as the shadow pushed me into the cupboard where we hid Al's armour and I heard the door lock. I pushed at it a few time, there was no handle on that side, then kicked it, but it wasn't going to give. I sighed.

"Stupid damsel in distress situation" I muttered. I hated feeling all helpless and needy. I sighed again and sank to the floor, waiting for Ed. I pulled my rock out of my pocket and started tossing it up and down. That got old, so I decided on examining the door once more.

因為它彎曲，風暴從土壤撕毀強大橡木，但是不是蘆葦。

Ed hit the last of the men over the head with his arm and ran over to the cupboard just as I succeeded in making a small bomb out of my watch and blowing the door open. I stepped out, brushing dust off my clothes.

"That was exciting! But now I need a new watch." I prodded one of the men on he floor with my shoe, "Who're these guys? Do we know them?" I asked Ed. He shook his head. One of them stirred, he shot up, taking in his fallen comrades and me and Ed standing there with a flick of his eyes.

"Okimasu, Ninjas!" The other seven sprang to their feet with the grace of wolves. They paused for the very briefest of moments and ran to the open window, jumping out one after the other. We stared after them for a few moments before turning to the table.

Thankfully the food was still sitting on it, completely intact and still warm; I made a mental note to thank Jed for that later. Ed went to wait for Oryx and Al in the Front Hall; I was sweeping up the remains of the cupboard door when Ed led them in. Ed immediately started talking to his brother, he missed him. Oryx came over to me.

"What did you do?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ninja attack. They locked me in there," I replied, pointing at the cupboard.

"So I made a bomb out of my watch and now I'm cleaning it up." She smiled.

"When did you learn how to make bombs with your watch?"

"Iggy taught me, at the house warming party." She nodded.

"Where'd the Ninjas go?" She asked, looking around the Hall.

"Jumped out the window." I said gesturing towards it. Oryx nodded again.

"So, you guys ready for lunch?" Ed asked as he and Al walked over. I looked at Oryx, who nodded. We walked over to the table and sat down, Oryx was sitting next to me across from Al, she sniffed the air.

"Do I smell burning?" She looked at me, I smiled sheepishly.

"I was cooking, and I kind of set my hair on fire." She laughed, so I continued.

"Just before then I somehow managed to hit Ed over the head with the pan I was using to make omelettes." She laughed for about a minute then sat up and turned back to me.

"You know what they say 'You can't make an Omelette without breaking a few Eds!'" I laughed so hard that I fell off my chair, and my cliff, and into my rock pool.

"HaHaHa…ha… (Gurgle)" I sank to the bottom of the pool, still smiling. I floated to the surface and lay there for a minute. Then a flying pig swooped down and grabbed me with its feet somehow. It dropped me at the top of my cliff and flew off.

"Hey wait!" I called after it; it hovered where it was, flapping. "You're name wouldn't happen to be Jacob Black would it?" The pig snorted and flew off. I walked over to the table and sat down again, conversation resumed. Oryx made a remark to Al about cats, and then turned to me once more.

"Why'd you ask the pig if it was Jacob Black? He doesn't fly." I shrugged.

"He could have mutated." I grabbed an apple and munched on it. The others nattered and laughed. Al and Oryx ported back to their castle at about four o'clock. I cleaned up the table, and then walked to the library to find Ed. He wandered off and I was sure it was where he would be. I found him and we studied Alchemy until Midnight.

石を投げれば王室の犬、司祭、またはメンバーに当る

I ran into the room I was sharing with Ed at Six O'clock in the morning and dumped a bucket of water on his head.

"Yatte Kimasu Edo! Okimasu!" I yelled, heaving him out of bed and onto the floor. "Today I will take you into the depths of The Dark Forest!" I pointed my finger in the air, Momiji style. I seized Ed's wrist and hauled him downstairs, where I proceeded to shove breakfast down his throat impatiently. He wriggled out of my grip and I shoved him out of his seat and over to the door.

"How long have you been up?" He asked watching me bounce as he put on his jacket.

"Since half past four!" I squeed.

"Okay, and how many times have you been into The Forest." He asked, pulling on his gloves.

"Oh I don't know! A bunch! You're all ready. Let's go!" I exclaimed, pulling him out the door, across the open cloud, and into The Forest.

Shredded and Torn, Lives Litter the Floor.

While the Ashes of What Has Been,

Smother and Taint What Will Be. 

It was just past dawn when Oryx woke up and rolled over. She smiled at the peaceful face Al wore when sleeping. They lay in silence for a few moments, and then Oryx sighed and slipped out of bed.

"Come on Aru, better get up. Got to get ready for the day and by day I mean party." Al sighed, but got out of bed, yawning.

"Why are we having a party?" He asked sliding his arm around Oryx's waist. She turns and places a small chaste kiss on his lips. She then stepped out of his arms and walked over to the window. Oryx leant out of the window and gave a loud call, similar to that of an owl. Immediately Alice and Rosalie run in to the room, they shove Al out and sit Oryx down at the vanity. Chattering, they proceed to play Oryx Barbie. Al sits downstairs, reading.

Nature,

The future needs it more than any man now can understand.

"And this is the Piskie glade." I said, strolling through The Forest with Ed.

"Let's rest here a bit." I said flopping down onto the ground. It's uncertain what the ground is, dirt or cloud, because it's covered in leaf litter, and I've never tried to find out. Ed nodded, clapped his hands together and pressed them to the ground. Nothing happened. He looked at his hands in shock, and then turned to me.

"Why didn't that work?" He asked, I looked up from the little house I was making out of twigs.

"Didn't I mention that? I'll explain some stuff then. You can't use any Alchemy in here, I can't use my summoning or Porting powers, and I'm the only one who can lead you out of The Forest." Ed was brushing dust off his gloves when a black wolf loped into the glade, Ed jumped, and then slowly lowered himself to sit next to me. "That's Soaring Leap, leader of the wolf pack that lives in The Forest." I whispered to Ed.

"You know the wolf pack? Why am I not surprised." Ed muttered. I advanced toward Soaring Leap on all fours, meeting his eyes for a fraction of a second before sliding them away. He sniffed my sent, confirming it was me, then yipped a greeting. We exchanged a few play bites and muzzle licks; after we did he got up and trotted over to Ed, inspecting him.

Ed followed my example of only meeting his eyes in short bursts. Soaring Leap sniffed and pondered Ed, then, wagged his tail a little in acceptance. He turned and sauntered to the edge of the Piskie glade, where he stoped and stood looking back at me and Ed with ochre eyes full of meaning. "He wants us to follow him, probably to introduce you to the rest of the pack." I stood and, with Ed, followed Soaring Leap out of the glade.

Non Verus Silva

"We're done with you!" Alice declared, stepping back from the mirror.

"Now to decorate the castle!" Rosalie joined in, pulling decorations from her purse. They ran about the castle decorating every square micrometer. In ten minutes they had decorated the main room. Half an hour later the first floor was done. They flew about the castle like a storm of glitter and party banners, their pace only increasing over time. They assembled in the Front Hall when they declared themselves finished, Oryx dismissed them and they vanished, she then turned to Al.

"Now it's time for the invitations! Commence, Operation: Pigeon!" She pulled a small wooden whistle in the shape of a sparrow from her pocket and put it to her lips. The coo of a pigeon emerged; Oryx had trained herself to be able to produce a range of calls from thirty five different birds.

Masses of pigeons poured into the Hall, Oryx greeted and fed them while Al wrote out an invitation, copied it with Alchemy, filled in the name, and handed it to Oryx. Who attached it to a pigeon and sent it flying out the double doors. Oryx wrote the last invitation herself, as Al's hand was a little sore. With Operation: Pigeon completed Oryx and Al passed the time in their own way. What they did, we will never know.

**And that was the third instalment of CCC.  
**

**Next time: Parties are attended.  
**

**Review if you want, flames will be used for arson.**


	4. Derivative

**Welcome to chapter four! This chapter is nice and random, like the others. **

**This right here is a little ad for my friend Peanut, Destined to Fly, read her stories! Hi Peanut!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, Pokeball, Bakura, The Augurey, Alice and Rosalie, The Game (I just Lost), or Naruto.  
Claimer: I own The Forest, The Castles, Ninjas, The Elves, and this Totoro wallet.**

Pokeball!

Gotta squeeze 'em all!

We followed Soaring Leap through The Forest for ten minutes, until we came upon the Pack Den. Ed was greeted by the Pack and we spent the morning doing wolfish things. After which we went deeper into The Forest. Ed was watching me and the Pack stalk Unicorns in their Afternoon field when a pigeon flew down and landed on Ed's head.

"Get it off me, please." Ed said, sounding frustrated, the pigeon cooed, I grinned and yanked the offending bird off his head. I noticed it had a piece of paper tied to its leg; I snapped the string it was tied on with and unfolded it. Ed read over my shoulder.

'Tampo Kachi Frog and Ed! You are invited to mine and Aru's castle, (sometimes called Stephanie). For a Party! Woot!' There the writing changed to Al's.

'Oryx is now running around the castle squeeing about the party, and Llamas. Come when you're ready.' I turned sharply to face Ed.

"Yatte Kimasu Edo!" I yelled, seizing Ed's wrist and towing him from the field.

"We must go and get ready!" I pulled him through The Forest. We loped out of The Forest, we had just passed the last tree when the sun set.

"Yes!" I cried, "We're just in time, look." I pointed over to Sun Lake. Its golden water deepened to black, then, as the Moon began to shine, to a pearl white. "It's no longer Sun Lake, It is now Moon Lake." I whispered to Ed, he looked at me with an 'Obvious much?' face, I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah it's obvious, but to the point. Would you rather it was," I took a breath, "The, , Lake?" He shook his head, "So don't complain. Now, to the castle!" We set off, strolling now, toward the castle. On the way it started to rain so Ed ran while I dance-walked behind him, laughing.

I stayed out in the rain for a while, so when I got inside Ed had already had a hot shower, dried himself and his clothes off, and was now sleeping in an armchair. I changed into some clothes I'd gotten from the Elves of The Dark Forest, lots of green and brown, shoved my crystal necklace into my pocket to be put on later, and walked back to where Ed was snoozing in his chair.

I stood next to him wondering how to wake him up, and then I mimed snapping my fingers, as I've never been able to, and ran into the kitchen. I pulled a bottle of Milk from the refrigerator and poured some into a glass. Holding it carefully, I walked back to Ed.

"Wake up Ed." I said, poking him with the hand not holding the milk glass. He shifted, muttering something. "Fine then," I waved the milk under his nose, he sniffed, then jerked awake, I jumped out of the way just in time, somehow managing to not spill the milk. "Oh, you're up, good. We need to go…"

I trailed off, seeing the murderous look on his face.

"He he." I laughed nervously, then shot off out the door, the milk was caught by a minion before it hit the floor, Ed following behind. We ran around in circles in the rain, Ed getting closer and closer to catching up to me with each passing second. Suddenly, I stopped and whirled around, Ed skidded to a stop about half a metre from me.

"Look, I'm sorry. Ceasefire?" I held out my hand. He shook it, I smiled. "Good, now, to the Party!" I said, and Ported us to Oryx's castle.

Butter's for a bee sting

"What happened to you?" Oryx asked as Ed and I dried off in the Front Hall,

"Were you attacked by Ninjas again?" Al asked, petting a cat that had wandered in.

"I woke Ed up," They looked confused, "With milk." Al and Oryx let out 'Oh's of understanding, Ed twitched. I grinned, pulled my necklace out of my pocket and put it on, then looped my arm through Oryx's.

"Weren't we here to party?" I said, walking into the newly decorated Hall with Oryx. I had only gone a few steps when I was pounced on by Rosalie and Alice.

"Take care of my rocks Oryx! Don't let them starve!" I called as I was dragged away. "Tell Joe I said Hi!"

YAY IT'S SPIDER MA-UHHH 

Bakura…

Ed stared up the hallway after Frog with a slightly confused and shocked look in his face, until he was tugged onto the dance floor by a girl wearing a buttercup yellow dress and a necklace of dried grass.

Al and Oryx wove through the crowd, stopping here and there for a chat, or to pet one of the ever increasing number of cats living in their castle. They met up again near the small stage on the right hand side of the Hall, where they proceeded to climb onto the stage for a small speech. Stopping the band and getting the crowds attention with a few whistles, provided by Al.

"Hey all!" Said Oryx brightly, waving her arms wildly. "I hope you're all having the same amount of awesome fun as I am!" Here, Al took over.

"We've had a great time so far and we enjoyed seeing you all here and hope you'll come to the next party."

"So let's keep this party going!" Oryx cheered.

"One more thing, I lost The Game!" The band struck up again and the party resumed. Al and Oryx participated in and enjoyed some lively dances from Tortall and a slow one from Japan, provided by Tortall and Studio Ghibli characters.

During which Oryx showcased her lack of coordination, which I happened to share. After the dancing Oryx and Al swapped quotes once more, only this time over a few glasses of punch.

"To the World you may be one person, but to one person you may be the World." Oryx nodded thoughtfully then responded.

"Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask." This continued for a while, Oryx was reciting the Periodic table of the Elements with Al when Ed wandered up.

"Have either of you seen Frog around? It's been half an hour since she got Alice-and-Rosalie-napped." Al and Oryx shrugged.

Volo Futurus Mihi

I was pulled along, stumbling, to a dressing room that Alice and Rosalie had set up.

"Your hair is all wet." Alice complained, poking my rain drenched scalp.

"The bits that are dry are all frizzy and tangled." Rosalie said, they looked at each other and nodded, the meaning of their looks was lost to me but I had a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that it wasn't good. They turned back to where I was sitting in a chair in front of a mirror.

"You need help." Alice said pointing at me.

"Our help." Rosalie said dramatically, posing with Alice. Twenty minutes later my hair was blow-dried and straight, now hanging to the middle of my shoulder blades, and the front bits where held back with green clips. Alice had tried to slather me with make up but I put my clumsy foot down, I also wouldn't let them take off my crystal string necklace, so they just re-tied it in a more 'stylish' way.

They finally set me free after giving me a few gold bracelets and anklets with jade stones and little golden bells. I tinkled my way back through the castle and to the Hall. I pushed open the door a small amount and slipped in. When I entered… Nothing happened. I jingled over to where Ed was standing near Al and Oryx, who were expressing feelings in a very aww-able way.

"Hey." I said quietly once I was directly behind him, he jumped and span around to face me.

"Hey. You're alive then?" He asked, grinning slightly. I nodded, we chatted for a few minutes, but where interrupted by Alanna and Iggy walking over to ask us to dance, I don't get why they couldn't just dance with each other but 'tever. I attempted to dance with Iggy for a few songs then went to be smothered in kitty affection. The party got louder and less formal as the night went on.

The younger members fell asleep in corners and I got high on punch and ran into a wall. When I woke up Jack Skelington danced with me and I fell over four times because he mentioned something to do with Halloween. Ed and I Ported back to the castle at half past three. We stumbled up the stairs and into our deep blue tower room. We fell into our beds and I fell asleep instantly.

…

I woke to the sound of an Augurey's call, just outside my window. Ed was kneeling on his bed by the window, staring at the bird. I walked up and knelt on the bed beside him.

"Why is it making that noise?" Ed asked. The Augurey opened its mouth and let out another mournful cry.

"It makes that noise when it's about to rain heavily. It only flies in hard rain or storms." I stuck my head out the window and looked up, wondering if it could rain this high up. There were dark, brooding clouds over the castle, looking closer than I had ever seen them before. I felt a large, heavy drop of water hit my nose and pulled my head inside the window. The rain started to pelt down, the Augurey gave one last cry before taking off into the sheets of rain. I jumped off the bed and turned to face Ed.

"Our options of things to do have become somewhat limited, Edo, so we must-"I cut off, sniffing. "I smell Waffles! Purple flavoured Waffles!" I grabbed Ed's wrist and Ported to just outside the doors of Oryx's castle. There was a small shelter of ice sticking out above us, so we didn't get drenched.

I stuck out my hand and pushed the big purple button next to the door. A chibi Naruto popped his head out of a small window just above the button and pointed to a sign, 'Don't push the button, or the Llamas will eat you! LLAMA SAY OBEY!' I shrugged, Chibi Naruto sighed and disappeared. We waited outside for a few seconds, watching the rain on the ice sheet above us, before the door was pulled open by Oryx.

"I was just about to send you guys an invitation for breakfast, come on in!" She waved us in. I ran into the castle like a berserk Fangirl, and followed the smell to the small breakfast room. Al was sitting at the table, I calmed myself a little and walked over and sat down a few seats away from him.

"Bonus Diem, Aru Kun." I said, smiling. He grinned back. Ed and Oryx walked in a few moments later. Ed had a stack of empty plates, which he proceeded to hand out, and Oryx had a plate with a giant pile of Waffles on it. We ate breakfast then I remembered that I was holding a meeting of 'People with Weird Powers' and so I had to go back. I Ported with Ed to the Library.

"Do you want to come to the meeting?" I asked Ed, he shook his head, already halfway down a row, pulling books off the shelves. I went downstairs to the Hall and set up chairs and some melted cheese. At Ten o'clock the first person arrived, my good friend Owl.

Owl was a Telepathetic, none of us are quite sure what that is, he also thinks too loud. "Morning Owl," I said, "take a seat." He did, just behind him came Super Emo! (Able to make people jump off tall buildings in a single conversation!) Our resident Telepyrokinetic, Toby, who sets things on fire with his head (literally!) And a cat. The meeting went well, although Toby had never been a fan of cats, and we ended the meeting with a small display by everyone.

"It was fun, see you next time." I said to Owl, he frowned. "Did I do it again?" I asked, he sighed and shook his head.

"No, it was me. I was just thinking too loud." I smiled and waved as they all walked out the doors and back to wherever they go. Then I noticed the cat, sitting by the stairs.

"What am I going to do with you?" I said, picking it up. "I bet Al and Oryx would be happy to take you in." I ported over there and left the cat in front of their door, with a purple bow on its head.

**That was Chapter four of CCC hope you liked it! Reviews are always welcome; Flames are poked with sticks and fed to Hayashi.**


	5. Ephemeral

**Welcome one and all! Wait, not you, no you, yes, okay. Welcome, to chapter five of CCC!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the Forest, Castles, And my stuffed Totoros.**

Incendia Aer Terra Aqua

It was just around Ten when another invitation came from Oryx. This one for a formal lunch party. I walked up to the Library to find Ed. I made my way over to where I had left him, then found him twenty shelves away sitting at the top of a ladder.

"Hey, Pipsqueak! Lunch party at Oryx's!" I called he looked down and twitched.

"Who're you calling so short he can only be seen by gnomes with magnifying glasses?" He screamed, falling off the ladder. I helped him up.

"Sorry, but there is a party, in two hours." Ed looked at me weirdly. "What?" Ed sighed. "Come then, we shall find you clothes! I'll just wear some Elven things again, though it's likely I'll just get attacked by Alice and Rosalie."

As Ed only had the clothes he was wearing, finding him something to wear was difficult. I was about to go crazy and make the clothes myself, when another Pigeon flew through the window we now kept open. It had a hastily scribbled note from Oryx inside.

'I'm sorry! I couldn't stop them! Be prepared!'

"No! They're coming!" I shrieked hysterically, and ran around the room screaming. Ed was trying to stop me, when Alice and Rosalie vampired into the room.

"You once again need our help!" They cried together. I stopped running and Ed crashed into me.

"Hi…" I said, they took that as an invitation and once again, dragged me away, leaving Ed behind to read.

Laws are Observations.

After twenty minutes of Frog Barbie I was wearing a sea foam blue-green dress with the same anklets and bracelets as last time, and a moon crescent necklace, which I suspected was full of moonlight. Alice and Rosalie said I could keep the bracelets and anklets, and Soaring Leap found the pendant a few weeks back.

I read an Alchemy book while Alice and Rosalie looked through the clothes they had brought to see if they had something small enough for Ed. They resized a few things and let Ed pick one, he came out wearing a dark blue suit, Alice and Rosalie put the other two black ones back in the suitcase they had brought, and then descended upon me once more. This time my hair was curled into locks, I still refused make up.

We got to Oryx's castle as lunch was just beginning. Everyone was sitting in the Hall, which now had a small banquette table in it. Oryx waved and, seeing my look, mouthed 'sorry'. I grinned and sat down in between Mei and Satsuki. The lunch was uneventful, except for when the ninjas came calling again, and when I blew up the cupboard they shoved me in with my watch, again. I got home to the castle at about half past five with Oryx.

Ed stayed behind for a sparring match with Al, while I and Oryx went for a walk in The Forest. Ed helped me with more Alchemy until the lakes changed, and then we had dinner, and went to bed after various night time rituals.

Save Me! Spoonman!

The next morning was crisp and clear, so I asked Ed if he minded going on another tour of the Forest with me. He said he'd come, so we packed some food, spare clothes and whatnot, and headed out into the Forest. The Forest was dark today, the animals were jumpy and something wasn't right in the wind. I felt the uneasiness seep into me, filling me, making it impossible to concentrate on anything.

This is probably why I never saw the Piskie coming; she flew up to me with wing like a bats only smaller and electric blue, and emptied a bottle of emerald green liquid down my throat.

The world spun, becoming dark and warped. I swayed where I was standing, what was going on? I looked to The Forest, ever a source of comfort and understanding, only to find that I hated the sight with all my might. Stupid trees, stupid Lynx, stupid Owl, stupid... I pushed myself away from the thoughts and looked for Ed, he'd help me…Right?

Not that I need his stupid dumb help anyway. Wait, what? My mind was clouded, I struggled to remember anything I'd ever read, heard, or invented about Piskie potions. Love potions! Sometimes people have reverse reactions to them, not very often but sometimes, so turning everything they like into something they Hate, and in some cases making Hate worse.

The feeling of Hate was growing, The Forest, the animals, I hated it, I had to get out. I ran blindly, forgetting the way in my haze of rage and potion induced confusion.

Personality donations needed urgently! For one Edward Cullen…

Ed walked quickly through the Forest, searching for Frog. The little blue thing poured something in to her mouth and she spaced out for a minute, and then stumbled drunkenly off into The Forest's dark depths. Ed raced after her, but even drugged she knew the Forest better than he did. He had slowed to a jog, then to a fast walk, peering around for any sign of Frog.

"Where'd she go?" He pushed trough a bush and came out onto a field of such a deep green it was almost black. The field was filled with unicorns, a common sight in The Forest, only these ones were a profound midnight black.

They looked up when Ed made his way into the field, staring at him with demonic red eyes flecked with electric blue. Ed tilted his head to the side slightly, this wasn't quite right. The head unicorn, the one with the longest horn, reared up and charged toward him.

Ed tried to move, but wasn't quick enough, the unicorn's horn stabbed into the left side of his stomach, just bellow his ribs, he could feel it pushing through him, he screamed out in agony. The unicorn twisted the horn out of his stomach and stood for a moment, watching him. He fell to the ground and the unicorn shook its head and went to wash its horn in the black polluted stream that ran nearby, the threat was neutralised.

I Want my Flying Pony!  


I fell to the ground just of the Shore of Sun Lake, my head spinning.

Gotta wake up.

I dragged myself into the water and instantly was more alert. I swam to the surface and struck out clumsily to the shore. I dried my clothes a little with alchemy, I wasn't very good yet, it takes years to even scratch the surface of the great science that is Alchemy. I stood by the lake for a moment, letting the rest of the fog clear from my head. I made a list of the things I had to do:

One: Find Ed.

Two: Find dry clothes.

Three: Find that stupid Piskie.

I nodded to myself and strode off into the Forest. I asked all the animals, who were much calmer now, if they'd seen the missing Alchemist. Most of them didn't know, but a pair of Foxes and a Lynx told me that he'd been seen near the Dark Unicorn meadow.

I tore through the Forest, praying to Jed, Kallannya, anyone, that he was alright. The Dark Unicorns were a symbol of the Darkness in the Forest, it wasn't all sunshine and Elves, I did call it The Dark Forest for a reason.

Mostly because it sounded cool, but also because it was a partial representation of the fact that nothing was perfect. They were aggressive and very territorial; I made it almost impossible to get to them. Not through any kind of physical barrier, you just never came across them. But somehow Ed had found them, Jed knows what their reaction was, they might just chase me away, but Ed was still a stranger in The Forest.

I dashed into the meadow and my eyes locked onto Ed's limp body lying face down a few metres away from me. I ran over to him and turned him over; blood was running from a deep stab wound just bellow his ribs, staining the grass beneath him, the unicorns must have done it.

"Ed?" He didn't answer. I put my hand just over his mouth; I felt a faint exhale and sighed in relief. I stood up ran over to a tree and pulled some moss of the side of it, running back over to Ed I pulled of his jacket, shirt, and tank top thing, and pushed the moss into his wound. The blood slowed, I pressed harder, and then ran to get more moss. Once the bleeding had slowed to an almost stop, I bandaged some moss onto the wound with some material I ripped off of my shirt.

I enlisted the help of some normal Unicorns to get me and Ed to the edge of The Forest, I Ported us back to the castle and lay Ed on my bed, cleaned and patched his clothes with Alchemy, then proceeded to run in circles like a headless chicken, screaming like a penguin on crack. Oryx must've somehow heard my penguin screaming, because she appeared next to me and caught my arm.

"What's going on?" She asked, eyes taking in Ed's still form.

"I found Ed in The Black Unicorn field, and stopped the wound up with moss. Just remembered, I gotta take it out now or it'll fester." I walked over to my bed again and unwrapped the small amount of material I tied the moss on with. I removed the moss, found some clean bandages in the bathroom cupboard, and wrapped Ed's torso in them. Oryx hovered behind me for a minute, and then left the room. I finished wrapping Ed up, pulled the blankets over him, and then followed her out.

I found her in Sindella's Temple in the God's Shrine part of the castle. I joined her and we prayed for Ed. We made a stop in at Kalannya's Temple, and also at Jed's, the former to beg for Ed's life, the latter to thank for the luck in finding him when I did.

We lit candles and dusted the alters, I rolled the dice I made for Jed and updated him on the progress I'd made on the bag for them; (I've lost my thread again). We walked back to where Ed was still sleeping and I sat by the window with Oryx, talking about our lives and other things.

**As always reviews are welcome, flames are put out with a fire blanket, and I wish you all a good day.**

**Next Time on CCC: When Unicorns attack!**


	6. Fastidious

**Disclaimer: I Do not own FMA, Alchemy, or the lopsided cow idea.**

Derivative pumpkin scones.

Ed pushed through the levels of sleep and pain, and opened his eyes. Frog and Oryx were sitting on his bed next to the window in complete silence. He tried to sit up, but pain flared up in his abdomen and he hissed, he could deal with pain, but he wasn't expecting this. Frog and Oryx looked over; Frog jumped up and ran over.

"You're awake, good; the poison didn't get into your bloodstream. Don't get up yet though. A wound like that would need proper medical attention, which I don't have." She pushed Ed back down into a lying position and turned to Oryx. "Now that he's moveable I can, well, move him to somewhere else. A hospital or something. You should get Al and come too."

Oryx nodded and Ported away. Frog sighed and sat down on the bed near Ed's knee; she looked at him for a moment then reached over and pulled him into a hug that felt like it was crushing his ribs.

"You scared me. Those Unicorns are killers." She pulled back and stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing and fell off the bed.

"What?" Ed was confused now, but what do you expect.

"Killer Unicorns. 'Tis funny!" Frog choked out between laughs. Ed grinned and watched her roll around laughing until Al and Oryx Ported in. Frog tried to stop laughing and explain, but couldn't. Al was distracted by her for a minute, but then he looked up and gave a cry of distress.

"Brother! What happened? Was it the Homuncu-?" He stopped for a second. Then continued. "Our enemies?" Ed shook his head.

"It was, if you can believe it, it was a Unicorn. Ran its horn right through me." Al gasped and turned to Frog.

"You're going to take him to a hospital or something right?" Frog shook her head.

"Not exactly, Ed's too conspicuous. I have an uncle who's a doctor so I thought I'd just Port him up here and get him to stitch Ed up." The others agreed on the idea, so Frog went to prepare a suitable room.

What do you mean it's a red light? I want it Purple!

"You guys ready?" The others nodded so I concentrated hard, and my uncle Ported into the room. "Hey Uncle Chris."

"Hey, what's happening?" He didn't sound really worried, just curious.

"Well you see my friend here was in a bit of an accident and we need some help." Chris nodded, so I showed him Ed and the room and equipment I set up for him. He approved both, and got to work.

Cornucopian Camels!

Two long hours later Chris came out of the room, saying Ed was fine and would probably sleep for a while and be sore when he woke up. I thanked him and Ported him back, confident that this would become nothing more than a really weird dream. We moved Ed into his bed up in the tower and set ourselves up for a wait.

Oryx and Al went back to their castle for dinner; I sat by Ed's bed in an armchair, shoes off and feet up, reading a book about the weather. He twitched and muttered every few minutes but nothing really happened until Oryx and Al Ported back in.

"You look tired." Oryx commented, taking my book.

"You should get some sleep." Said Al, standing me up and leading me over to my bed.

"Maybe I should…" I trailed off as I sunk into a deep sleep.

Lopsided Wonders Feel the Whole Earth.

_I was at school, only it was empty. Rain poured from the sky, I felt it soak through my clothes and drench my completely. I walked through the empty school in the rain, dark black crows wheeling overhead._

_Now I was in a jungle, tigers prowling, lions roaring. Still the crows circled over me. Watching my every move._

_A beach of pure white sand, standing just into the water, feeling it wash over my feet, watching whales surface and dolphins leap. The crows fought with the seagulls up in the clear blue sky._

_Now I was in the air, feeling the cool autumn wind pass smoothly over my body. I turned my head to the side, black feathers, I looked down, a beach. A girl. Fall._

Cupcakes Of Doom.

Oryx shook me awake and told me that Ed was awake and having breakfast and that I should too. I peered around him to see Ed sitting up in bed attacking some purple pancakes with blueberries in them. I was handed a tray with a stack of pancakes on it and a cup of orange juice. I had had some breakfast, watched Ed eat seconds, petted Hayashi, and said the entire first FMA theme song, Melissa, before I was allowed out of bed.

"You okay?" I asked Ed when I walked over to his bed, Al and Oryx went back to their castle to make Llama and cat piñatas.

"I'm fine. How 'bout you?" I nodded.

"I'm fine too; I was just tired you're the one who got stabbed by a Unicorn."

"It wasn't my fault! You were the one who went wandering off!"

"It wasn't my fault either! It was that stupid Piskie!"

"Where'd you go anyway?" I sifted through hazy memories, trying to find out.

"I ran through the Forest for a while…I ran out of it, and jumped into the Lake."

"Okay, so what do you want to do now?" Ed tried to get up but I pushed him down.

"You need to rest; I'll get you some books or something." I walked out of the room before he could complain. In the library I piled as many books on Alchemy as I could carry, with some others, into my arms and took them back to Ed. I carried a small table up the stairs and put the books on it, within reaching distance.

We spent the day sitting on Ed's bed reading and Ed teaching me more Alchemy. By the end of the day I had leant how to make a lopsided cow out of metal. I went to sleep that night, while watching the moon rise out of the window, with a feeling of achievement mixed with something else I couldn't yet identify.

**Okay then, that's it for now. As always, reviews are framed, and Flames are used to cook marshmallows.**


	7. Grandiloquent

**Welcome to chapter seven! Disclaimer: I Do not own FMA.**

**Claimer: I own NOM, The Muffins, and Ninjas!**

Kittens! Bad Kittens! No Elijah!

The early morning sun streamed through the windows the next morning, waking me up. I quietly closed the curtains then collected the books and put them back in the library. Ed didn't seem likely to wake up any time soon, it was probably too early, so I grabbed a glass of milk and sat in the kitchen, reading Coraline and listening to Muse.

Ed wandered down at about half past nine, three hours later, wearing his normal clothes and a tired expression. By then I had finished Coraline and was now reading _The complete idiots guide to Cheese_.

I put the book down when he came in, marked my page, stood up, walked over to him and gave him a hug. He squirmed until I let go, then I went back so my seat and picked up my book again. He shot me a strange look and put some bread in the toaster, I turned the page. Ed sat down at the table and ate some toast, watching me read. He twitched a few times then snapped.

"Why are you reading that?" I looked up, and tilted my head to the side.

"What do you mean? It's a book, they're for reading." He sighed and shook his head.

"So what crazy scheme have you cooked up for today?" I looked up once again.

"Crazy? I? Never!" He raised his eyebrow. "Well, okay, maybe a little. But any way, I didn't really have anything planned for today. We should go see Al and Oryx, Al might feel abandoned or something." Ed's facial expression now looked to be a mixture of happiness and guilt.

"It has been a while since I've had a good conversation with Al." I nodded at him, and ran around the castle with a bag, shouting to Ed as I did.

"Maybe we could stay the night! Or a few, give you some brotherly time or whatever." Ed, who was following after me, seemed to like this idea. So I sent a message by Catbus to Oryx and Al, asking if we could stay for a bit.

They sent a reply back with Totoro, saying that it was fine and that they were looking forward to it. I grinned and Ported with Ed to the front of their castle. Oryx pulled open the door before I could push the button and annoy the Chibi Naruto again.

"Tampo Kachi! I lost the Game!" Oryx yelled, smiling. I grinned back, I smiled even harder when I saw what she'd done to her hair since the last time we met: It was now bleached white and partially died semi-fluorescent purple.

"Dotto! Nice hair!" I said.

"Thanks." We continued to discus her hair until Al invited me and Ed inside. Their castle was mostly the same as last time, only there was a little more purple, and many, many, more cats.

I stepped over two, petted a few more, and then tripped halfway across the Front Hall, dropping my bags and the mound of notepads I was carrying. I didn't land on any cats; I did fall off my cliff though. I sighed, and landed in a river.

I sat on the river bed for a moment, then decided to swim out. But before I could, I was kidnapped by orange muffins. They jumped onto me with their muffiny skills, tied my right hand to my right ankle and tied my left hand to my left ankle, and carried me away downriver on a raft. I tried to struggle but they subdued me with muffin powers. (That or they fed me drugged muffins).

They tied my hands together in front of me for better mobility, and threw me into their muffin base in the middle of the ocean. They walked me down some hallways, and shoved me in a closet and proceeded to discuss what they were going to do with me.

I peeked through the crack in the door, and saw nothing, so I drilled a hole with a silent drill and looked out of that.

"I say we send a note, ransom and the like." Said the tallest muffin, to the right of a high backed chair.

"No, we don't even know where she came from. I say we put her to work. In …" This muffin was holding a clipboard and standing directly to the left of the high backed chair, which I now guessed contained their leader. The muffin looked at his clipboard before saying; "The Factory maybe."

"The Factory… I like it, get her in there." This voice came from the chair; I still couldn't see who was in it. The muffins that I could see walked over to the closet and dragged my out of it by my hair.

"It's the Factory for you, so move along." The muffin holding my hair hauled me onto my feet and pushed my down the corridor. I realised that I hadn't said anything this whole time.

"Excuse me." The muffin with the clipboard, who I had decided to call Larry, looked over at the other muffin, who was now Peter, who nodded.

"What?" Asked Larry, snappishly.

"What the hell are you kidnapping me for? And what's the Factory?" Larry considered this then nodded to Peter.

"Because we need more workers, the Factory is where all of the new muffins are tested before joining our ranks."

"Ranks of what?" I asked, Larry and Peter looked a little shocked that I'd even asked.

"Why the army of Nefarious Orange Muffins." Said Larry proudly.

"So, NOM." He sighed a little.

"Yes fine NOM. We have reached the Factory" We were outside a door, it was a deep grey and had a small sign on it that said: 'The Factory". Peter pushed open the door and I saw a long high ceilinged room with rows and rows of tables, at which a great number of people, and muffins, were sitting and talking to other muffins. I stood and watched them all, until a cry broke the spell.

"Imposter! Security breach! Lemons!" Larry ran off in the direction of the shouting, I turned to Peter.

"Lemons? What's so bad about Lemons?" Peter lead me through the tables, I wondered why no one had looked up, but then I saw the blank looks in their eyes as they asked a list of questions and wrote down the answers. I knew that I'd have to get out of their before they did the same thing to me. I started to scout out the room, looking for exits of any kind.

By the time I was seated and had a list of questions and a muffin in front of me I had counted Twelve doors, ten guarded, and one the one that I had come through before. One hundred and thirty nine windows, fifty seven of which were too high to be of any use, twenty of which were too small, and sixty five air-conditioning vents, all of which were accessible and looked to be the right size.

I looked at the muffin across from me, maybe it was a lemon muffin, and if it was it might be able to help me. I looked down at the questions.

"What is your name and age?" A simple enough question, the muffin was staring down at the concrete floor.

"Joey, I'm," he hesitated, but only for a moment. "Fifteen." I nodded and wrote it down

"Why do you wish to join the fine and upstanding, loyal and just, brave and… The ranks of Nefarious Orange Muffins?" The question had gone on for a while longer, but I was sure that I would either die of boredom or fall off my chair with laughter if I had to keep reading. The muffin, Joey, squirmed a little then met my gaze.

"I want to join the Nefarious Orange Muffins and make a name for myself so that my mother will be proud of me for once!" I nodded and wrote down what Joey had said. The questions were boring and generic, so I spiced them up a little. Adding my own when the questions got a little too repetitive.

"What is the square root of one hundred and ninety six?" Joey thought for a moment.

"Fourteen." I wrote down his answer next to the question. The next question was maths too, I looked up at Joey.

"Complete this sentence, butter's for…"

"A bee sting." I raised my eyebrow; I had guessed muffins were smart, what with the math, but knowing that? I was suspicious.

"What is your favourite flavour of ice-cream?" Joey looked surprised at this question.

"Umm, Mint I guess." I hummed and made a fake note on my clipboard, this

was still really boring.

"Okay, so say you were walking down a street and some guy runs past with all this money, and you heard that morning that a bank robbery was taking place, what'd you do?" Joey looked really put off now, close to tears. If muffins can cry that is. He leant towards me.

"How long have you been here?" He asked. I looked around, and leant closer as well.

"I got here just before I started talking to you. Why?"

"I'm not an Orange muffin I'm a Lemon muffin. I'm here on an undercover mission. These other people have been here to long, they wouldn't want to leave, but you might."

"Yes please. I heard that you were a dreaded enemy of NOM, what're you doing here?"

"Trying to find people like you, people that we can set free."

"I really do appreciate it."  
At that moment a team of Lemon Muffins smashed each of the sixty two useful windows and six of the high ones, and attacked the guards. The other questioners were too stunned to do anything, Joey pulled me up and we ran over to a muffin.

"Caleb!" Joey shouted over the din of fighting muffins, "I found one!" He handed me over to Caleb, who handed me on to another muffin, who handed me on and so on.

They passed me up and out one of the high windows; once they had me out they threw me into a helicopter. The battle lasted long enough for me to be debriefed by the muffin commander, Caleb, and find a secure seat in the helicopter.

The Lemon muffin base was much better concealed than the Orange muffin one. I was welcomed by the muffins, they taught me some muffin combat and codes, I was learning about the fall of the first muffin king when Caleb said it was time for me to go back home. Before I went the muffins gave me a bag of gifts, one of which was an Orange flavoured muffin.

They had flown me halfway to the castle when the Ninjas boarded. For the second time that day I was tied up and dragged around, this time with a blindfold on.

Skull-Face Omnibus!

I was dumped onto what felt like grass. When the blindfold was removed, I saw that I was under an oak tree, with Ninjas surrounding me in a tight circle. I tried to run but I was still tied up. They held me still and explained that they only wanted to teach me some of the way of the Ninja, for they felt I would need it. I agreed to the training, but only if I could be back with my friends in a few days, they discussed this and agreed.

Over the next few days I got a crash course in Meditation, Self-Defence, Concealment, and, since they found I had a talent for it, Elemental Magic. They took me back after four days of intense training during which I barely had enough time to sleep, and left me in the middle of The Forest, with more gifts, the most mysterious of which was a long thin package.

I walked through the Forest and Ported to Oryx's castle as soon as I reached the edge. Oryx tackled me as soon as she saw me.

"What did you do now? Where did you get all that stuff? Where'd you go?"

"Calm down Oryx. I was kidnapped by Orange muffins, then saved by Lemon muffins, then kidnapped by the Ninjas again." Oryx raised her eyebrows.

"Why does all the cool stuff happen to you?" I laughed and turned to Ed, who was standing just behind his brother.

"What have you been doing this whole time?" I asked.

"Nothing much, just hanging around with Al and Oryx." The aforementioned owners of the castle had vanished for unknown reasons, or to find one of their cats.

"I'm sorry." I said, and I was, I hated just vanishing like that. Ed shook his head.

"It's not your fault, you were kidnapped. I'm just glad…That you're alright. You are alright aren't you?" I nodded.

"Just a few bruises." I saw Ed twitch a little and felt even sorrier than before. I took a few steps forward and caught him in a hug. He shivered at the touch but relaxed eventually. I pulled away.

"I'm still sorry." Oryx and Al burst back into the Hall in a puff of timing.

"Now then, weren't we planning to have you over to stay?" Oryx asked, grabbing my arm and dragging me up to her room.

I have no idea what you're saying so I'll just be over here doing this instead…

Three days after my kidnapping I sat down on my bed with the long thin package the ninjas had left me with spread out on the bedspread in front of me. I pulled the string holding it closed off and threw it up into the air, momentarily distracted by watching it fall to the floor, and slid the brown paper off of the thing inside; it was made of a dark mahogany wood.

I pulled the paper off entirely and the thing rolled out to the other side of my bed and stopped at the edge. I leant forward and snatched it up to get a closer look at it, as I did I noticed a white rectangle of card sitting on the bed in the middle of the wrapping.

Picking it up I saw that inscribed on it in flowing calligraphy were the words '_Elemental Staff'._ The staff was tall, taller than I was, and covered in a twining silver metal like a vine would cover a tree branch, twisting into a shining cluster at the top. It also had a crescent moon shaped depression in the wood about twenty centimetres down.

I stood up and hefted the thing in my hand, twirling it around, it looked rather awkward to transport, it would be easier if it was smaller. As I thought this the staff began to shrink, retaining the crescent moon depression and the twining silver. I stared at it, and decided that it was clearly magic, and inexplicable, firmly chose not to worry about it, and went to practice some Elemental Magic.

**That was Chapter seven everyone! Hope you enjoyed it, don't trip on your way out! Bye!  
**

**Next time on CCC: Holidays are planned and met.**


	8. Hedgehyssop

**Welcome to chapter eight. This chapter was inspired by another bus conversation.  
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, TNBC, or the small amount of -Twitch- Twilight mentioned.**

**Claimer: My plot! And this book.**

Dancing in the Twilight of the World,

While there's still music.

Me and Oryx were sitting on the floor, discussing how to dismantle an overinflated ego, when someone knocked on the door, I got up and opened it; it was Ed.

"We just got a message, by skeleton pigeon." He said, "It says it's a plea for help from some guy called Jack." I stared at him for a few seconds.

"Jack, as in Jack Skellington?" He nodded.

"Yeah that's the one. I think he wants you to help him with something. The notes downstairs with the pigeon."

"Let's go then! See you Oryx!" I grabbed his wrist and pulled him after me down the stairs and into the Hall. I was wondering, as we ran, why Jack was asking for my help, and if he would mind me bringing someone along. Ed showed me the note, and I read it out loud, as Oryx and Al had followed us down.

"Dear Frog,

We in Halloween Town are having a small infestation problem, and thought that you might be able to help. This is a plea for help.

Jack Skellington, Pumpkin King."

I looked up at Ed. "I am so there!" I said goodbye to Oryx and Al, and Ported back to the castle. I snatched up three bags, one for clothes, one for equipment, and a backpack for walking and paper. Ed watched me pack, and when I was just about to walk out the door he caught my arm.

"You shouldn't go alone." He said, looking concerned and stubborn.

"What if I take Peanut? She'd love a trip to Halloween Town!" Ed looked as if he was about to disagree, so I ploughed on. "She really would, Jack is her idol! And anyway, what could happen?" Ed sighed.

"Famous last words."

"Please!" I begged, he sighed again.

"Alright then." I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed tight.

"You should stay with Al and Oryx while I'm gone." He nodded and walked out of the doors. I made sure I had everything I could think of that I might need, then Ported Peanut into the castle.

She Ported into the middle of the room, reading a book. She looked up when she felt herself bump onto the floor, looked up, saw me, and jumped to her feet.

"Frog! Hey, so what's going on? This had better be good though."

"Well… You're in an ice castle on a floating cloud."

"Eh…" She shrugged.

"And we're going to go see Jack Skellington."

"I'm in." I cheered and ran around the castle, quickly seizing some extra equipment and a few bags. We shouldered our bags and walked through the double doors, closing them behind us.

No, no, not that one, the other one! No, the other one! There!

We appeared in the holiday door grove. I looked over at Peanut.

"You ready for this?" She nodded.

"Absolutely and always." I pulled open the door shaped like a Jack o'lantern, went to step in, caught my foot on it, and fell. I landed hard in the graveyard of Halloween Town. Peanut fell and landed next to me.

"Ow, that's definitely going to bruise." I rubbed my arm where it had hit a gravestone. Peanut nodded, rubbing her head. We stood up, brushed our clothes off, and started towards Halloween town.

"This is so cool!" Said Peanut for the fifth time. I giggled and continued to lead the way towards the lopsided houses of Halloween Town.

"Jack should be expecting us or me at least." I said as we neared the Town Hall. Jack was standing off to one side at the top of the stairs, talking to the Grim Reaper. When Peanut saw him she let out a FanGirl like shriek.

"It's Jack!" She pointed, Jack looked over. "He's looking at me!" She span around a few times, then swayed, and fainted. I caught her, and then staggered under the weight.

"Hey, come on, wake up. Heavy… Jack Skellington!" Immediately Peanut jumped up.

"Where?" She cried looking around frantically. I snickered and pointed. Jack was walking over to us, smiling widely.

"Thank you so much for coming I really do…" He trailed off under Peanut's gaze.

"You're Jack." He smiled, a little awkwardly.

"I am."

"You're my idol. Will you sign my…" She felt in her pockets, "My Jack note paper? Please?" Jack, looking somewhat bemused, pulled out a pen and signed the piece of paper.

"Most people who know about me don't react this way." He said, watching Peanut fold up the piece of paper and put it in her bag. She looked up.

"Oh but I do know about you." She took a deep breath and said really fast, "There are few who deny at what you do you are the best, for your talents are renowned far and wide. When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night, you excel without ever even trying.

"With the slightest little effort of your ghost-like charms you have seem grown men give out a shriek. With a wave of your hand and a well placed moan, you have swept the very bravest of their feet." She took another deep breath and continued, I watched Jack's surprised look becoming more and more pronounced,

"You're the master of fright and a demon of light. And you'll scare me right out of my pants. To a guy in Kentucky you're mister unlucky and you're known throughout England and France. And since you are dead you can take off your head to recite Shakespearian quotations. No animal or man can scream like you can with the fury of your recitations." If Jack had eyes they would have been bugging out of his head.

"Um, Peanut? If you could just stay here and ask Jack why he asked me to come, I'll be back in a minute. I just want to find that Werewolf and the Grim Reaper and get their autographs" I pulled out my notepad and walked off into the depths of Halloween Town.

Say it... Out loud... Say it... _Virgin_.

(Fail for Edward C.)

I had a nice discussion with the werewolf and a slightly disturbing one with the Grim Reaper. Then went to find Peanut and Jack again. I found them sitting in the Graveyard discussing the best way to wear clothes if you're a skeleton, and the usefulness of suits.

"So what's wrong Jack?" I asked getting up onto a grave stone and crossing my legs. "Why'd you send the urgent help message?"

"Well there have been a lot of people visiting our land lately, most of their reactions, I have heard, were similar to your friend's. Only much more violent."

"You said so you hear. So you haven't seen them then?" What Jack was describing sounded suspiciously like a FG attack. Jack shook his head at my question.

"Many of them are not looking for me; they seem to be studying Halloween Town, only they draw strange conclusions. Such as this one time when-"

"That's okay." I cut across him, knowing now that what we were dealing with was an infestation of FG FanFiction writers. The ones that usually end up writing terrible Mary Sue OC Fics. I told Peanut to take a tour of Halloween Town, and Jack to tell all the residents to stay inside Town, then picked up my Elemental staff and left to do some hunting.

I walked through the woods that the FG writers were rumoured to live in, Elemental Staff in hand. I walked through the woods for two hours before I stumbled through a pair of very unwelcoming trees, and into the FG's encampment.

Fifteen minutes later and Halloween Town was ridded of its pests, I placed a useful ward around the world against FG writers, so they wouldn't come back. Jack congratulated me on my return and insisted on a celebration party to thank me and Peanut. We got back to the castle in the early hours of the morning; I sent Peanut back and collapsed into bed.

****

**Next time on CCC: A new character is introduced.**


	9. Interalia

**Prior to this chapter my computer crashed. As I was an idiot I had nothing backed up, but turned out that it was a minor problem and everything's fine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA **_**(I wish…)**_**, Nightmare Before Christmas (**_**I really wish…)**_**, or Twilight **_**(-Puke-)**_**.  
Claimer: I own the FanGirls, Hayashi, and this blue notebook. **

I know this jungle  
The sun forever is absent.

When I woke up the cat clock informed me that it was two o'clock, I sat up, then noticed Ed sitting beside my bed reading a book.

"Afternoon." I said, yawning, he looked up and smiled.

"Hey, you hungry? Al brought it over while you were asleep" He held out a slice of apple pie, I took it from him.

"Thanks." I ate the pie, and then got out of bed and went to get a glass of water from downstairs. I made it down and drank the water, but when I was walking back up the stairs my legs gave out under me. Ed dragged me up the rest of the stairs and back into my bed. Grumbling the whole way.

"I guess I'm still tired." I said, Ed snorted.

"You think? Oh I forgot, Al and Oryx wanted me to tell them when you woke up, I'll be right back." Ed stood up and, to my surprise, Ported. I stared at the place he had just been until he walked in the door of the room again, ten minutes later.

"When did you learn how to do that?" I asked, staring at Ed.

"It was while you where away, you know when you were kidnapped by muffins. I just found out I could do it one day. Only over short distances at first, but I practised and got better." I nodded, and he sat back down next to my bed. "Oryx said she and Al will be here in a minute." Ed said, I nodded and picked up a book, he resumed reading his. Al and Oryx Ported loudly into the room. Oryx ran over and started flinging questions at me.

"What happened now? Why did Jack need help? Why aren't you up yet? Did you get the pie? Did you like it? Would you like a cat?" She held up a cat whose fur was patterned with a shimmering array of browns and moss greens such that it would have been able to blend into a forest without a second thought.

"I fought off FanGirl Fanfiction writers, Jack needed me to get rid of them, I'm not up yet because I'm still tired from fighting off hordes of FanGirls. Yes I did get the pie it was awesome, thank you very much. Yes indeed I would like a cat but why do you want to give it to me?" Oryx looked a little awkward.

"Well you know how we take in a lot of stray cats and stuff?" I nodded. "Well we kind of have too many now and you like cats so I was wondering if you wouldn't mind taking this one in. We think that he's about two years old." She held out the cat to me.

"You're not just giving me the bad tempered cat that destroys everything, are you?" Oryx smirked and shook her head.

"No, though this cat has the most terrible luck I've ever seen, we found him in my pit in a bucket of melted ice-cream with a print out of Twila wrapped around him." I gasped.

"Twila! Oh you poor thing!" Oryx put the cat into my arms and I gave it a gentle hug. "Does it have a name? Is it De-sexed?" I asked.

"Nah, we haven't got around to naming or doing anything like that with him yet." I looked the cat over; it looked up at me with big eyes that reminded me of mist in the woods.

"Hmm, I shall call you… Hayashi. Yashi for short." After I gave the cat his new name Oryx and Al went to look in the library and Ed went to find Yashi a bed, food bowl, and some toys. I sat Yashi on my bed and looked him in the eyes.

"A lot of people have their cat de-sexed and de-clawed because it is actually better for them; I'm not going to do that. I'm going to trust you not to scratch up my books and stuff." Yashi looked indifferent and started washing his paw, but I knew he was listening, I continued.

"I am also going to encourage you to hunt for yourself; I want to inspire some independence. Because of this you shall not have a collar with an annoying bell on it, partly because they annoy me." Yashi continued ignoring me and switched to its other paw.

"So don't over hunt, and don't kill just birds, or kill just because you can. Or I'll make you wish you died as a kitten." Yashi stopped washing and looked up at me with a look of disbelief on his face. "Yes I will, I may not look like much, but I'm a pro at pretending to be a Ninja. I trust you, but betrayal of my trust has consequences." Yashi stood up, shook himself, and walked over to me and sat on my lap, purring, I petted his head. Ed came back in and Yashi jumped off of the bed and strolled over to him, he twined around Ed's feet, purring loudly.

"I guess he likes you then." I said, yawning. "I think I'm going to go back to sleep now." I said quietly, and lay my head down on the pillow.

"Okay." Ed was kneeling on the floor, petting Yashi, who was lying on his back. I closed my eyes and fell asleep to the sound of Yashi's purring.

Meh, what is it?

_Me(h)._

I was feeling much better the next morning, so I went for a walk in the sculpture garden with Ed. Yashi had gone out hunting. As usual there was a sweet tinged wind blowing, swirling the leaves of the Forest in intricate patterns. We were walking past a statue of a sparrow when Al came running up the path behind us.

"Ed! Frog! Oryx Ported somewhere and I have no idea where. Have you seen her?" I shook my head.

"No, I haven't seen her since yesterday." I wondered where she could have got to. "Did she say anything to you before she vanished?" Al seemed to be searching the very depths of his mind; the he slowly shook his head.

"Just the usual things; 'Good morning, how art thou?' That kind of stuff, I was eating a sandwich in the kitchen while she went on a FG reconnaissance mission, and she didn't come back." I mulled this over, what could have happened? Maybe another muffin kidnapping? No, it wouldn't be that. Ninjas maybe? It's a possibility. The FGs are too unfocused to do anything on a big scale; they might be able to form enough coherent thought to tie someone up though.

"Ok we have a few options. Where did she go to do the reconnaissance Al?"

"I don't know, she said something about vampires" Vampire Academy? "And Neanderthals." Twilight.

"Right then, to the Twilight universe!" I grabbed Al and Ed by the wrist and Ported us into the Twilight universe.

-Twitch-

Oryx woke to a dungeon cell. She was chained to the dark stone wall by her wrists; she tried to move, but felt a strange drain on her energy. She assumed that it was the chains, so she set about breaking them.

The chains themselves didn't look very heavy or strong, in fact they looked about as strong as a cheap necklace, so as soon as Oryx felt she could, she started pulling at them. They hardly moved, so she looked closer at them she saw an inscription carved on the chains;

"OMG ths cians wil lyke "nt bryeack evr." Oryx broke off, shuddering. Only one creature could write like that without going mad, the very things she had been tracking; FanGirls. No wonder she felt so weak, the terrible writing was draining her, she felt unconsciousness start to drag her away, she tried to fight it but it sapped her energy and pulled her down into a sea of dark dreams.

-Flick-

We ported into Twilight just outside the Werewolf boundary. Following the trail of Glomped characters, hairspray and the faint sound of squeeing, we managed to find the FG's fortress down at La Push. It was really just a series of bungalows down on the beach, but for all the luck we were going to have of getting in and finding Oryx it might as well have been a castle guarded by fire spitting Llamas. We tried a few, but had no luck in finding Oryx.

"Are you even sure she's here?" Ed asked me, after we snuck around a few more bungalows and ended up near the heart of the camp. The camp looked empty, but looks can be very deceiving.

"Not really, but it's very likely." He looked at me exasperatedly, "Do you have any better ideas then Mr I know absolutely everything about everything?" he sighed and shook his head. "Well then." I pulled a pair of binoculars out of my bag and swept my gaze over the main meeting area, I was about to declare it a no go when I saw what looked like a timetable written on a whiteboard. I pointed it out to Ed and Al and we snuck over to it, keeping low.

"Six o'clock to seven: sun tanning, seven o 'clock to eight thirty: beach volleyball, Eight thirty to eleven: Beach activities. Hmm." I looked at my watch.

"It's ten past nine; they'll still be at the beach, we can look around more carefully." We went through every bungalow but one, coming up with nothing, we met back at the campfire pit to discuss our options.

"She's got to be in there." I said pointing at the main building, Ed and Al nodded and we walked over to it, I pulled open the door and peered inside. A completely normal room greeted my eyes.

"What!" Ed yelled, I shushed him. "But we tore the other rooms apart." He said, a little quieter this time. "She has to be in here!" I put my hand comfortingly on Al's shoulder.

"So let's find her." I said and proceeded to dismantle the room. I looked under every table and behind every shelf; we searched for half an hour, going over the room again and again.

"It's no use!" Al wailed, sinking into a chair. "We'll never find her!" I snatched hold of Al's wrist and pulled him to his feet.

"Well we won't if we give up." I stared around the room for a moment, so did Al and Ed.

"Hey, over here." Ed was squatting in on corner, pointing to the floor; I walked over, Al following me.

"What is it?" Al asked, Ed pointed to the carpet in front of him, there was a corner sticking up. I looked at him quizzically, one eyebrow raised. He reached out and tugged at the carpet; it came up easily, and revealed a trap door. I gasped, and slapped a palm to my forehead.

"They must have a dungeon or something, come on." I pulled the trap door open and jumped down into the inky blackness.

**Umm, yes… I was **_**so**_** not on crack when I wrote that -smile- yes…  
Happy Un-birthday! (Unless you're Wolfy, Happy Birthday Wolfy!) **

**Next time on CCC: There is another party, for some reason or other.**


	10. Jokul

**Disclaimer: I own FMA! **

**Mustang: You do not! -Hits with radio- **

**Me: Ow! Fine I do not own FMA. Or Pony Boy here.**

Err uh CAKE IS A LIE!

I freefall for a few seconds, during which I decided that it probably wasn't the best idea to jump straight in. I was starting to wonder what was going to happen when I landed when the vertical tunnel I was falling down turned diagonal. It turned into a slide, I sped down it, after a least a minute of sliding I shot out and landed on a cold, solid rock floor. I stood up and tried to look around, but I couldn't make anything out in the darkness.

Ed came sliding out of the shoot and crashed into my legs, I fell over and my hand hit the edge of a table, causing the torch sitting on it to fall off. I caught hold of the end and scrambled up as fast as I could, leaving Ed on the ground in my haste to find Oryx. I switched on the torch and the room was bathed in a weak yellow light, I saw that there was a stone passage leading off of the room I was in. Al came sliding out of the shoot and landed on Ed.

"Sorry brother." He said as he got up and helped Ed to his feet. I turned to them and motioned down the passage.

"Ready?" They nodded and we set off into the darkness.

"Let's eat grandpa!" "Let's eat, grandpa!" Punctuation saves lives.

We walked through the hallway and into a dungeon room with rows of cells.

"You guys check that side, I'll check this one." We split of and ran down the rows. About halfway along I heard Ed shouting.

"She's over here!" I ran over to the other side and up to where Ed was pulling at the doors of a cell. He growled and clapped his hands together, melting the door open. He opened it and I ran inside. Oryx was in a corner, chained to the wall by her wrists. I ran up to her, knelt down, and started pulling at the chains, they were thin but impossibly string. Oryx felt the movement of the chains and stirred, when she looked up and saw me she gasped.

"You have to get away," she said in a rasping voice, "The chains drain my energy and yours too." She passed out again; I could feel it now, sapping my strength, making me weak.

"Ed, help!" I called out, falling forwards until I was on all fours. Ed ran inside and saw me.

"What's wrong?" he asked running up to kneel beside me. I pointed weakly at the chains.

"The chains sap my energy. I can't get close to them."

"Help me get her away from the chains!" Ed called to Al, who had run in with Ed, Al grabbed my legs and he and Ed carried me out of the room. Once I was away from the chains I stood up and peered into the cell.

"How come you guys didn't get weak when you went in?" I rubbed my temples; I had the beginnings of a headache. Ed shrugged.

"Maybe it doesn't affect us." I nodded.

"So that would mean that you two can go break her out of here. Meet up with me at the slide exit, I'll look for a way out." Ed and Al nodded and ran into the cell I ran back up the cell block and through the tunnel. I came out in the first room and scouted around in it for an exit; we couldn't go up the slide, too slippery.

I found a small button next to the slide and pushed it, a door slid oped to reveal an elevator. Ed and Al walked in at that moment, holding Oryx between them. I showed them the Elevator and we got in and pushed the button for the surface. We ran out of the building and I Ported us back to Oryx and Al's castle. Me and Ed left Al with a sleeping Oryx and went back to our castle to sleep ourselves.

Mr Chu's Bunnies of Doom!

…_**( \(\…..…/)_/)**_

… _**~( ^.^) … (*;* )=**_

… …_**O(_ ) |… (V V )O…**_

I woke up the next morning to the sound of birds shrieking their dislike at each other and of Ed cursing loudly as the stack of books he was sitting next to fell on him. I got up, stretched, got dressed, and went downstairs to the party Hall. Ed wandered in half an hour later and watched me hover in the air sticking giant crystal snowflakes to the ceiling. I looked down, saw him, and waved.

"Good Morning to you Ed."

"What are you doing?" He asked looking at some of the other decoration piled in the middle of the room; a tree, some grass, flowers.

"Why I'm decoration for the party of course." Ed raised his eyebrows.

"What party is this?" I floated down to the ground and snatched up bunches of flowers; floating back up to the ceiling, in the next corner along, I hung the flowers from the ceiling.

"A party to celebrate the four seasons." I started running green streamers around the roof of the corner I was decorating.

"Why are you throwing another party?" Ed was now sifting through the pile of decorations on the floor. I floated over and poked Ed on the head.

"Can you set up that hill and tree over there, in Autumn, please?" Ed nodded and dragged the grassy hill top over to the back right corner of the Hall. I put up the rest of the decorations and went hunting for some party food, leaving Ed to write invitations to various characters.

I carried my game back to the castle, cleaned and cooked it, well I got minions to cook it, and set it on the tables. I rummaged through my clothes until I found an outfit coloured in icy blues and greys, as my favourite season is winter, and dyed my hair white grey. I tackled Ed and forced a season out of him, he picked summer, so I dyed his hair and black clothes fiery colours and pulled him downstairs to wait for our guests to arrive.

As always Al and Oryx were the first ones to turn up, Oryx dressed up as a daffodil, Al dressed in a suit of greens and a little yellow. Along with them came characters from Maximum Ride, Harry Potter, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Totoro, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, +Anima, and Rave Master.

I noticed Harry had dyed his hair green, for spring, so I snuck up behind him and dumped a bunch of hair gel onto his head and styled his hair into a molawk. Before he could turn around I ran off and disappeared into the crowd, sniggling. It was unlikely that he would be able to get that gel out of his hair, even with magic. I wandered around the crowd for a while, and then I got dragged into a conversation with Howl.

"I have heard some things about you." He commented, looking down at my with a small smug looking grin on his face.

"I should think so, or you would wonder who the heck this weirdo was and not come to the party." I shot him a sneer, his grin got, if possible, even smugger.

"So out of concern," I raised an eyebrow, he sighed, "okay Sophie nagged me, anyway I would like to give you these. They make it easier to keep track of someone."

He dropped two rings into my hand, they both had thin band and a stone set into another twist of metal, one with a silver band and gold twist, the other reversed, there was a golden stone that shone like the sun set into the silver twist of one, and a stone like an electric storm set in the gold of the other.

"Yes they most certainly make it easier to keep track of someone; they do it very well, what else would you expect, they do have one of my spells on them after all." Howl flicked his hair, looking smug, I laughed quietly.

"You are such a… Mustang." Howl laughed and swept away to talk to Sophie, I put the rings in my pocket and went to dance with a deep Forest wood nymph. The dance was energetic, so ten minutes later I slumped down under the Oak tree on the hill Ed had set up in Autumn panting.

Ed, who had been coaxed into the same dance by an Elf-Piskie, came and sat down next to me, though not nearly as out of breath as I was. I pulled a leaf out of my hair and slipped the rings out of my pocket. I turned them over in my hands unconsciously, and Ed looked over to see what the faint tinkling noise they were making was.

"What's that?" he asked, looked over curiously, I showed him the rings.

"Howl gave them to me; I'm supposed to give the other one to someone who I'd like to keep track of." Ed looked even more curious now, probably wondering about the rings molecular construction or something.

"Who are you giving the other one to then?" He asked, looking up at the branches above us. I got up and swung myself into the oak tree, climbed over to where he was looking at, and hung upside down just above him.

"I've got absolutely no clue whatsoever. Who do you think I need to keep track of the most?" Ed shook his head.

"I'm not sure either, Oryx maybe?" I shook my head.

"She has Al following her around like another shadow."

"Hayashi?" Ed asked, watching the cat make his way through the party.

"He comes and goes as he pleases; I don't need to keep track of him. Anyway, where would he keep the ring?" Ed shrugged. I hung in silence or a minute, and then slapped my hand to my forehead.

"Of course!" I swung up so I was the right way up then dropped down next to Ed. "Howl meant me to give the ring to you!" Ed looked slightly confused.

"Why would you think that?" I searched for words to explain my thought.

"It was kind of a cross between process of elimination and thinking about who I really want to keep track of. Al notices if Oryx is missing and she doesn't go missing very often anyway, so she's unlikely. Oryx would notice if Al went missing, which he hasn't even done yet, so that's no for him. Hayashi has his freedom, he'll come when he wants or needs to, so not him." Ed nodded.

"So I'm the only one left who he could possibly have meant." I nodded, and held out the rings.

"I was thinking that since this one reminds me most of you," I held up the ring with the stone like the sun, "That I'd wear it, and you could take this one. Is that okay?" Ed nodded and took the ring with the storm-like stone and slid it onto his left hand, he'd stopped wearing his gloves around the castle.

I slid my ring onto the middle finger of my right hand and felt it shift to fit snugly. The rings blazed up and I covered my eyes with one hand, as did Ed. The light died down and I brought my ring closer to my face to study it again, it looked perfectly normal. I shrugged and stood up, looking back down at Ed who was still looking his ring over.

"I'm going to go dance some more, there's a friendly looking werewolf over there." Ed nodded distantly, and then his head snapped up.

"Wait what?" I chuckled and skipped off, in the direction of a friendly looking werewolf.

You made your own dice?  
_Yep!_

I waved goodbye to the last guests, hugged Oryx and closed the door. It had been yet another successful party. I did dance with the werewolf, his name was Tom, and then I fell asleep on the hill for an hour or two. During which I had a dream that Oryx was playing her Oboe and Al was basket dancing to the music.

Ed woke me up in time to say goodbye to the guests, he then told me to go to bed while he cleaned up. I said 'thank you' a kaprillion times and gave him a hug before Porting up the stairs, getting changed and performing other nightly rituals, and falling into bed.

**Yay! That was fun! Right? Right! RIGHT! **

**Randoms: Right!  
Good.**

**Next time on CCC: There is camping.**


	11. Kintlage

**The first part of this seems to be a bit of filler. But maybe it's not, maybe it is a very important plot point that will change the course of the story forever. -Reads ahead- Nope I lie, I could have written anything here. **

What's on TV tonight?

_Nothing, until we put it there._

-Twitch-

I woke up late the next morning; Ed was already up and studying Alchemy in the library. I knew he was there because he left a note explaining on a sticky note stuck to my forehead. I got up, pulled on some jeans and a shirt with today's slogan '_Life isn't passing me by; It's trying to run me over_' and went to join Ed. He was sitting near the back of the library neat to a window with a dangerously high pile of books next to him. I walked up and sat down next to him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying, and failing epically, to understand the book he as reading.

"I'm trying to research a way to keep Al's soul in his body." His brow creased.

"If I just knew what would happen when he goes back to our universe I could find out how to combat it, but I'm just stabbing blindly in the dark here." I pulled one of the books towards me and opened it, scanning the contents page for valuable seeming chapter titles.

The book I had didn't have anything that looked promising so I slid it back into its slot on the shelf and picked up the next one in the heap. I was just getting into the monotony of it when Ed drew in a sharp breath.

"This looks like it might help. If I could just find these texts written here…" Ed showed me a page in 'Alchemic Discoveries' that had a list of other helpful books at the bottom.

"I'm on it." I copied it down and ran off into the depths of my library. I stalked through the seemingly endless rows of books, all of them about that great science, pulling down a book here and there and crossing the name off my list, or writing it down if I thought it might help.

I sped back to where Ed was standing at the table and dumped the books onto it; Ed dived on them immediately and began to flip through them. I picked up the books Ed had already gone through or hadn't used and returned them to their shelves, as I wouldn't understand half of what was written in them anyway.

We took a very short ten minute break for lunch then dove back into research, Ed read and studied, I fetched and put away books and picked out a few that looked like they might help him.

We worked through the rest of the day, stopping for another short eating break, and worked throughout most of the night. We would have fallen asleep in the library if I hadn't objected to the potential damage to our spines and Ported us back to the bedroom.

We woke up bright and early the next morning, Ed pulled on some clothes and was out the door before I was out of bed, I pulled on some black pants and a red shirt ('_Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but have you seen my mind? I think I lost it._') And went to join him in the library.

The day passed much like the one that had preceded it; we took two increasingly short breaks and collapsed into bed in the evening. Hayashi dropped by to see us every once in a while, but mostly stayed outside. After three days of non-stop study I convinced Ed to take a break and come explore the Forest again with me.

He wasn't overly happy about this, but agreed that he needed some form of physical exercise. 'To train the mind you have to train the body' and all. So we packed food, spare clothes, and a first aid kit, and set off into the Dark Forest once again.

Boo!  
_-Dead-_  
Oops

"What's that?" Ed pointed off into the darkness, I squinted.

"A Hyena."

"Why's it here? They don't live in forests." He frowned.

"I don't know, I'll ask." I stepped towards the edge off the path.

"Don't!" Ed grabbed my sleeve and pulled me back; I shook him off and plunged into the trees.

"Show no fear." I whispered, and crept up to where the hyena was tearing flesh off her latest kill, I stepped on a twig the noise sending her spinning around, growling. I stepped out of the patch of shadows I was standing in and her growling grew louder.

"I have a question for you, if you don't mind. Why is it that you are here, in this Forest? Mr-I'm-a-big-know-it-all Ed over there says that you don't live in places like this but obviously you are so if you could shed some light on the issue I'd be very thankful."

The hyena stepped forward, growling up a storm now, I didn't step back, just waited. Neither of us moved, then the hyena lunged and sank her teeth into my ankle, it was a warning bite, those jaws could shatter bones, but it still hurt so I screamed. I tried to kick her off, but she wouldn't budge so I pulled out my Elemental staff and singed her tail, she yelped and shot off into the Forest.

I lay on the floor for a moment, panting, and then hauled myself to the one remaining foot that would support my weight entirely and hobbled off back in the direction I came from. At least I thought it was the direction I came from, it wasn't. It was, however, the direction to a nice cold stream, which I washed my bite in.

I cursed myself for not bringing two First Aid packs, one for each bag, and made do with the material from the end of my now tattered and blood stained pant leg. I took a deep breath and stood up, testing my leg, I found that it could hold my weight for about two seconds at a time; for all that it was a hyena bite I was lucky.

Having ascertained that my leg was functioning to a degree, I set my mind to the problem of finding Ed. I stood in silent thought for a few moments, until I felt something almost like a tug at my heart; I looked around the stream bank, then remembering my ring, down at my hand. The stone was lit up and as I watched it shot out a beam of golden light pointing into the Forest, off to the east I thought.

I limped through the Forest, following the beam of light. I pushed my way through the meters of undergrowth, but after walking for half an hour I was starting to feel faint, blood loss probably.

I sat down on a fallen log and put my head in my hands. I had almost mustered the will to stand again, when Ed trooped into view a few hundred metres away, following his ring's light. I raised my hand and shouted out his name as loud as I could, which wasn't really very loud. Ed looked up and spotted me.

"Frog! What'd you do this time!" Ed said loudly, slapping me, but not too hard, on the back of the head.

"That hyena wasn't very friendly." I said, lifting my leg and pulling off the scrap of cloth I'd wrapped around it, Ed sighed and pulled the bandages and some antiseptic out of his bag. He bound my bite and helped me stand up, but my legs declined, and rudely I might add, to hold me up.

Ed grabbed my arm and slung it over his shoulder before I could fall, he half dragged half carried me through the Forest until we could Port back to the castle. Ed left me in an armchair and went to find some more bandages, the ones I had on were blood-soaked and torn from the trip through the Forest. I was sitting with my foot up on a chair and a book in my hand, praying to Sindella, Ed was reading on the other side of the room, I was turning the page when my head shot up and the book slipped out of my hands.

"Something's very wrong." I jumped up, as best I could, and cast around for the source of the trouble. I found it and put my will into Porting it to my castle. Peanut appeared in the middle of the room, screaming hysterically.

"Frog! Thank God! It's the apocalypse! It is upon us!" Peanut grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. I seized her hands and stopped her shaking me.

"What are you talking about?" Peanut looked frantic.

"I beat the bus!" She yelled, I screamed.

"It is the apocalypse! We're all going to die!" I shrieked and Peanut and I started running around in circles. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ed Summon Oryx and say something to her, she shrugged. I had enough time to wonder about this, before me and Peanut both ran into the same wall, and blacked out.

-Blink-  
-Touch- FOOTBALL!  


_I was standing in a field, surrounded by FanGirls. Ed appeared next to me._

"_We're surrounded! We have to do something!" I shouted over the noise of Fangirls screeching. Ed nodded and clapped his hands together, when he slammed his hands together a giant black portal appeared. An FG charged at me, I grabbed her wrists and spun her into the portal, Ed was doing the same. We pushed every one of the FGs into the portal and Ed closed it._

"_Where did that go?"_

"_To Robert Pattinsons' house" I laughed, and we walked away. A man in a black suit emerged from the trees that we had vanished into, holding a dripping axe. _

"_And __RP's ego grew three sizes that day. To the fullest it had ever been."_

**Next time on CCC: The apocalypse is nigh.**


	12. Latria

**Claimer: This is my story, I made it up. I also own all Talent Pops, dice games, shelters, YogoPops, and books mentioned. **

**Now, enough of my prattling, on to the story!**

POYO!  


I came to and jumped to my feet.

"Come on Peanut! No time to sleep!" I yelled dragging Peanut up by her arm.

"To the shelter!" She yelled. I grabbed Ed and Oryx and pulled them after me down the stairs, with Peanut and Al following behind.

-Touch-  
_-Sue-_

We ran into the steel encased, concrete floored, purple tinged, but not air tight, shelter and I shut the door. Peanut and I curled into balls in our respective corners while Ed, Al, and Oryx looked on in confusion. I put my hands over my ears and lay on the concrete ground motionless, until I slipped into a light, fear filled, doze. I woke to Al and Oryx chatting and playing cards and Ed trying to talk to Peanut. He sighed, gave up, and walked over to where I was sitting.

"You okay now?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"Yeah, panic is over now." I pulled out my hand-made dice and offered them to Ed. "You wanna play a couple games?" I asked, he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, during the apocalypse, you gamble." I shrugged and rolled the dice.

"I call this game 'Naming ritual' you roll the dice and have to think up a word with the same number of syllables or letters in it. The game ands when one person can't think of a word, or gets one wrong. " I rolled and got four. "Rave!" Ed grinned and rolled, six.

"Access." Ha said, and handed the dice over. We played until Peanut crawled over and asked how long we were going to stay down in the shelter. I considered this.

"Well, if you think about it, the destruction of the earth could either take seven days, or several hundred millennia. So I thought we'd take a nice medium and go with 'till tomorrow morning." Peanut smiled, I snatched up the dice and walked over to where Al and Oryx where finishing up their card game. We sat in a circle talking for a while, until I decided it was time for a snack break.

"Talent Pop anyone?" I asked pulling a box out and offering them 'round the circle. We opened the Talent Pops and took cautious licks.

"Mine tastes like Singing!" Al said joyously, licking the sun yellow ice block.

"Mine tastes like Dancing!" Oryx said, licking her own purple one.

"Well mine tastes like…Being…Stupid…" I looked at my lime green Talent Pop with a tilted head.

"That's not a talent!" Ed said.

"I know…I'm confused." I said, Ed snorted.

"Well mine's gonna be one. It tastes like…" He took a lick, "Paper…"

"That's not a talent either!" I said loudly. Peanut giggled and licked hers.

"Mine tastes like… The Apocalypse!" I took the Talent Pop off her and licked it.

"No Peanut, that's strawberry." Peanut took it back off me and licked it again.

"Oh, right. But that's not a talent either!"

"Um, I got it! That one was a leftover from the YogoPops box." I looked down at my Talent Pop.

"Mmm, strawberry." Peanut took a huge lick of her Talent Pop.

"Stupidity it is." I began to eat mine, Ed just shrugged and bit into his Paper flavoured Talent pop. Al started singing a song he made up: 'Dancing in the monsoonal rains,' while Oryx danced with an umbrella she found in the corner. We ate our Talent Pops and played dice games before falling asleep around a campfire.

I'm taller than my parents that!

We emerged from the shelter the next morning and I sent Peanut on her way, it was always nice to catch up with her. Oryx and Al went for a walk in the meadow of sad flowers, to try and cheer them up, and I went to the Fiction floors of the library, while Ed studied more Alchemy.

He took a break eventually and came to find me, I was reading 'Refraction of Light'; a tale of magic, in which the heroine dies tragically at the end, or so you think, and had the sequel, 'Mirror Force', on the table in front of me. Ed sat down on the black couch next to me, looked at the book title, and sighed.

"I don't know how you can read that." He said, shaking his head. I slipped an ash leaf into the book, put it on top of Mirror Force, and turned to Ed.

"What did you say?" He motioned to the book.

"That stuff is illogical." I frowned.

"It's a story. They don't need to be logical."

"But they're impractical, life isn't a fairy tale!"

"I know that, the people who wrote these knew that, they're offering an escape for people who need it! A world where the impossible is possible!" I stood up and swept my hand in the direction of the books, my voice rising.

"But the impossible can't be possible! That's why it's impossible!" Ed stood up too, pointing at the book I was reading.

"Well we don't all think like you! Imagination is still important you know!"

"Of course I know, but it still doesn't make these books any less illogical!" We were yelling now.

"The world doesn't always need to fit into your logical rules and calculations!" I was yelling louder now.

"Why can't the world be logical?" Ed was staring defiantly up at me.

"Because…'cause…You don't get it!" I screamed, and ran out of the library, grabbing my books as I left.

That's what she said!

_In bed!_

With a leaf!

I curled up in a ball under the covers in my bed my arms over my head. I heard the castle door creak open, then slam shut. I sat up and ran over to the window, it was pouring rain outside, I squinted through the rain and spotted Ed's retreating back. I sighed, he probably needs to cool off and think, so let him.

Idiotic Peasant Frog!

Oryx turned over for the fifteenth time in ten minutes, sighed, and wriggled out of bed. She crossed to the window and watched the rain slide down the pane. She saw something moving through the sheets of water and squinted to make it out.

They were wearing a red coat… They had blonde hair… Edward! Oryx watched him walk past the castle and out of sight, wondering why he was walking about in the rain. She yawned suddenly tired and walked back to the bed. Oryx made a mental note to ask Frog about Ed in the morning. She wormed back under the covers and Al wrapped his arms around her as she drifted to sleep.

**And that was yet another chapter of CCC. You can find the other chapters simply by clicking the appropriate title in that drop down menu thing. Don't run into a wall when you leave! **

**Next time on CCC: Hamsters attack! (Not really I'm making that up.)**


	13. Malign

Big, green, and climbing out of a sewer.

I sat in bed reading for an hour and a half, before I heard someone banging on the castle door. I raced downstairs and heaved one of the doors open. Ed was standing in the doorway, soaked, dripping, and shivering.

"Edward!" I cried, pulling him inside and shutting the door, I threw my arms around his neck. "What'd you do this for?" I pulled back and looked him over. He tried to clap his hands, to dry himself off, but he was shaking too much. I grabbed his hand, it was ice cold, and Ported to the bathroom door. I shoved him inside.

"Take a shower, before you catch pneumonia!" He nodded and closed the door. I heard the shower start so I opened the door and grabbed Ed's soaked clothes. I dried them with Alchemy, folded them, and set them on his bed. I then sat outside the room reading Mirror Force, the sequel to Refraction of Light. Ed came out of the bathroom, wearing a towel, and went into the bedroom; I gave him sufficient time to get changed and went in myself. As it was late we both just exchanged goodnights and went to sleep.

It's broken.  
_No it's not._

_-Snap-  
There, it is now._

I sat with Ed out of a balcony over breakfast the next morning, watching the sun rise. Ed had told me that he went for a walk the other night and that he lost track of time. I flicked him with my fork and all was well.

"You know, for all the time you spend in that Forest," Ed said, his eyes following the flight of a hawk overhead. "I bet you couldn't last a month without coming back here." He said smirking and gesturing to the castle, I growled.

"I can so! It's you who couldn't." Ed snorted this time, "Oh yeah, you can survive on an uninhabited island with your brother, but that Forest is very much inhabited." I said lifting my pant leg and pointing at the white semi-circular scar that the hyena bite had left on both sides of my leg. Ed raised his eyebrow.

"Is that a challenge?" He asked, I nodded.

"You bet it is! First one to come back before thirty-one days has passed loses, if we both come back at the same time it's a tie." Ed nodded.

"No magic."

"No Alchemy, not that you can do any in there anyway." We shook hands and gathered some supplies, no food or water but a few knives in sheathes, a few changes of clothes, Ed pulled on his coat and gloves, and I grabbed my moonlight pendant.

I sent a message to Oryx and Al, telling them about it, and not to expect us until we came crashing into their castle in thirty-one days to throw a party. We met at the edge of the Forest, nodded to each other, and walked into its dark depths.

-Punch-  
You stole my newspaper!

I walked through the Forest picking edible plants here and there. The Forest was beautiful today; the sun was filtering through the leaves, giving the light a green tinge. The animals pranced and flew around me, it was all I could I could do not to burst into song and skip down the path. I shooed the animals away and continued down my path, scouting for a good place to set up camp. This was going to be easy. A drop of water fell from one of the trees and landed on my head, I looked up.

"A tree just spat on me!" I said, surprised. I heard a twig crack and spun around, my eyes searching for the source. A bush rustled and I spun again. A Piskie fluttered out of the darkness and I let out a breath, but stayed tense, I still didn't completely trust those mischievous little things. Another one flew out and fluttered beside the first. More came, surrounding me.

"What do you want?" I asked, they giggled and surged forward, engulfing me in seconds.

THE SUPER UBER HYPER GIGGLING SPITTING SIXTH GRADE BOY!

Ed strolled through the Forest, the birds were singing and the animals were prancing, but there was still an air of menace to the Forest. Something skittered onto the path in front of Ed, he stopped and looked down. It was a squirrel, it chattered and another squirrel joined it. Ed moved to step over them and they shrieked loudly, too many squirrels to count surged out of the trees; they swarmed up Ed's body and overpowered him, dragging him off into the Forest.

-Flick- Flick -Poke- Poke  
_Smite! -Smite-_

I woke up chained and in a cage that was surrounded by Piskies. Most were fluttering along beside me while the rest pulled my cage toward a high backed throne made of crystal. In it sat the Piskie queen, Ishzusx, I stared up at her as the cage came to a halt. I looked around and saw that I was in Piskie Glade.

"Why are you doing this?" I yelled up at her, straining at the chains. She gave a cold smile.

"Because I don't like you." I swallowed.

"So what does that mean for me?"

"You will be…Erased." I strained at the chains again, desperately trying for a weakness.

Go to your Sparkly Corner!

Ed woke up tied to a tree with squirrels surrounding him. There was another squirrel, larger than any he had seen before, sitting a few metres away on a throne of deep red wood with designs of a tree in gold leaf. He struggled, but the squirrels had bound him too tightly.

"What do you want?" He yelled, the squirrel stood up slowly and made his way to stand in front of Ed. It contemplated him for a few moments, and then spoke in a high, clear, and human, voice.

"I want; I want you to bring your friend, Frog, to us so that she can conjure up a lifetime supply of nuts for us. Out children are starving, we need help." Ed thought this over.

"Why are your children starving?" He asked.

"We cannot find enough food to support our ever growing family." Ed thought in silence for a minute, a plan forming in his brain.

"I don't know where Frog is right now, so why don't I help you look for food instead. I can show you good places, help you stand on your own." The squirrels conferred with each other, then turned to face Ed again.

"You may help us. But be warned, failure is not an option." The squirrel standing next to Ed chewed through his bindings and he was free. The squirrels set up baskets and Ed hunted through the Forest, filling the baskets with nuts and fruit. He showed the squirrels where to go to get the right nuts, which berries were poisonous, and when not to drink from a stream. The squirrels thanked him profusely, and he moved off into the trees. He was picking a few berries for himself when he heard someone yelling, Frog, he ran off in the direction of the shouts.

Kitsune!

I pulled against the chains frenziedly, magic would be no help. I said I wouldn't do any, so now I _couldn't _do any.

"What's the good in that?" I yelled, mustering my feeling of fury. Ishzusx just smiled coldly.

"You will be out of my way, leaving me free to do as I please." I snarled disdainfully.

"As if, Ed, Oryx and Al will still be here! They won't just let you get away with this!" I pulled at the chains. Ishzusx laughed coldly and motioned for me to be taken away. The Piskies flutter-pulled the cage out of the Glade and into another, slightly smaller one. It had another cage, this one covered with a dark cloth.

Whatever was inside there wanted out, now. One of the Piskies that had pulled my cage over snapped his fingers, the chains fell off, another Piskie pulled out my backpack and tossed it over to me, I reached through the bars and pulled out my knife.

The leader of this group unlocked my cage door and I scrambled out. They pulled the cover off the cage and I gasped quietly. Pacing inside it was a cross between a Lynx, a Tiger, and what looked to be a Cheetah. It was obviously going to be fast and deadly, with long retractable claws, tiger teeth, and fur tufts on the ears. It flowed gracefully out of the cage door when it was opened, and stalked around the edge of the glade, staring at me. I sank into a crouch, holding my knife at the ready.

The Piskies backed away quickly, leaving my alone with the big cat. It lunged; I threw myself to the side, not quick enough though; its claws left three long scratches across my back, from my left shoulder to my right hip.

I screamed and leaped to the edge of the clearing, trying to gauge the size of the scratches by the flow of blood then giving up in time to dodge another slash. We began a deadly dance, the cat lunging and me dodging. Playing a deadly game. My luck ran out when I stumbled over a rock and the pad of its paw caught me in the chest, I landed hard on the ground choking.

The cat had me pinned down easily with one paw. I slashed forlornly at it with my knife, it batted it out of my hand and sent it spinning a few meters away.

I closed my eyes and prayed to the gods, out loud and in my head, thanking Jed for getting this far, and Sindella for the slow blood flow, Kraton for the sharpness of the knife, I prayed to Kallannya that my soul would be well received.

I opened my eyes and stared into the cat's, they were a deep brown. I lost myself in those eyes, blocking out the bite of the claws and the rumble of the growl. I saw it open its mouth, as if in slow motion.

Orange tracking flowers!

Ed burst into the glade, following the yells and his ring. Frog was lying under the paw of a chimera, Ed saw a knife lying at his feet. Without taking too much consideration he threw off his pack, snatched up the knife and ran straight at the monster. He slammed into it, knocking it off of Frog and onto the ground.

It put up a fight and threw him off, he rolled and sprang to his feet before lunging again. This time he managed to drive the blade into the creatures neck, it jerked away and ripped the hilt from his hands.

"Ed!" He turned, Frog threw him the other knife that had been in his pack. He caught it and advanced on the beast, he saw Frog turn away slightly as he brought the knife to the beasts throat. He slashed the blade quickly and stood up, pulling the other knife out as he did. Ed wiped the knives off on the beasts hide, and walked over to Frog.

_Did you see that or am I going crazy?_  
You're already crazy.  
_Admitted. But did you see that?_

"Are you okay?" I looked up from dabbing antiseptic on the small cuts I had gotten from my fall.

"Oh yeah, I'm just peachy." I said, Ed grinned and held out his hand to me, I took it and he pulled me up. I retrieved my bag and put the knife Ed proffered into it. We moved an acceptable distance away from the dead animal and I sat down on a rock, pulled off my shredded shirt, and started to wrap bandages around my torso while Ed gathered some supplies.

"Why does this always happen?" Ed looked over from examining berries.

"Why does what happen."

"Those Piskies have it in for me, their queen, Ishzusx, hates me." Ed smirked.

"How could she do that? It's just so impossible." I flicked a rotten berry at him.

"We should go back." Ed said, motioning to my bandages. I shook my head.

"Nah, the Piskies'll be looking for me, and the castle would be the first place they'd look. They'll get over this eventually but I should lay low for now." Ed sighed and nodded.

"How long do you think we'll have to stay then?" I finished binding myself and, pulling my shirt on; I stood up and picked up my pack.

"How about the month we planned? Then we can go stay with Oryx for that party." Ed sighed again and picked up his pack too.

"Where are we going?" He asked, I shrugged.

"Somewhere downstream, the source of water would be useful." Ed nodded and we set off.

**Well now! That was just fun wasn't it! –Is glared at by Random Stranger.- Oh shut up you! –Hits Random Stranger with broom.- Review if ye wish!**

**Next time on CCC: It's cold.**


	14. Nemertean

**Disclaimer: If I owned FMA, then I would be a really good drawer. –Draws.- Nope, it still looks like a lump of coal. (It's supposed to be a shoe.)**

I can walk on water!  
_No that's ice.  
_What? Oh no! -Fall-

_I raised my muzzle to the heavens and poured my soul into the stars. It rose and rose, flying through the atmosphere._

_CRACK! _

_I fell down in cold snow; something prodded me in the side and yanked my head up. There was a flash._

_I was on fire. On the inside. Something was fighting to get out of me and be free, but I had to stop it. I didn't know why, or what would happen if I didn't. Only that I had to._

_Peace…Tranquillity…I hung above the earth. Watching it. It evolved, flourished, then burned. I couldn't turn away or change anything, only watch as it was engulfed in the flames._

_Peace…Tranquillity…_

Me! You! It! 

I woke up to the early morning chirping of several forest birds. I stood up, pulling Ed's coat on as I did and went over to where Ed was warming his hands in front of the fire.

"Morning." I said, he looked up.

"You sleep well?"

"Thanks for that, by the way." I motioned to the coat. "Warm."

"Descriptive." I smiled and looked around.

"What's for breakfast today then? Any ideas?" Ed shrugged, I pulled a belt out of my bag and attached my knife's sheathe to it. "How's about some hunting?" Ed snatched up his own knife and a simple fishing pole, and nodded. We strode into the trees, the further we went the more I was glad that I was still wearing Ed's jacket.

Ed went fishing in a spot I knew to be well stocked, while I gathered berries, set traps, and stayed on the lookout for prey. We carried our spoils back to camp and had a hearty breakfast. We spent most of the day getting our camp properly set up and organised for the coming month. That night was cloudy and it looked like rain, I hoped the shelter would keep out most of the water if it did start to rain.

The night was colder than the last, even with Ed's jacket I was shivering. I heard Ed's teeth chattering through the darkness and rolled over to where he was lying. I draped half of the jacket over him and wrapped my arms around his torso, he pressed toward the heat, as I must have done the night before. I fell asleep with his rhythmic heart beat in my ear.

Grass! My one weakness! No!

Ed was woken the next morning by Frog's scream. He jumped up and ran out to the campfire area. Frog was standing next to the fire, pointing at something Ed couldn't identify.

"Motionless Clams!" She shrieked, Ed looked again. Frog grabbed a stick of Styrofoam out of her backpack and ran to the clam and started whacking it.

"Die, Die!" She yelled, the clam did nothing.

"It's made of stronger stuff than I thought. We'll have to change tack!" She threw the Styrofoam away and snatched up some small rocks. She threw them at the clam while Ed walked over to it and poked his hand inside its mouth.

"It's eating him! No!" Frog ran over and yanked his hand out of the clam's mouth. "Come Ed, we must run!"

She snatched up their packs and hauled him out of the clearing, further downstream.

29 days,

A clam invasion,

Three Ninja attacks,

Two Headaches,

And a whole lot of hunger pains later…

I burst into Oryx's castle, pulling Ed behind me.

"We're here!" I yelled dramatically, Oryx appeared immediately with Al in tow.

"You're just in time!" Oryx yelled, and Ported us all to a glass walled box a few hundred metres off the ground. We sat down in purple plush seats that looked down into a replication of a Gladiator's arena. Rob Pattinson was standing in the middle of it, back to back with Harry Potter, (who had somehow managed to get the Molawk off) both of them holding forks and plates of pineapple cake. Oryx clapped her hands and a trap door opened, and hordes of screaming FanGirls gushed out of it.

"I must summon Peanut!" I cried, and Peanut appeared in the chair next to me. She looked around, and then dived under a cardboard box. She cut a slit for her eyes and watched the unfolding battle between the FanGirls, PR and Harry Potter.

"Go Harry!" She yelled.

We ate popcorn and watched the two trying to fend off FanGirls with forks and cake 'till the sun set. Then Ed and I went back to our castle.

I took a shower, prayed to Sindella, and peeled off the bandages I'd had around my torso, with replacements, for the past month.

Using the mirror I saw that the wounds had healed cleanly without infection and that I now had three more scars. They were still red and about the thickness of a pencil, they stretched the whole way from my left shoulder to my right hip. They would serve as a reminder of Ishzusx's betrayal, though she had never sworn or promised anything it was still a betrayal.

_Ready, Get Set, Go!  
_What?

Ed shook me awake the next morning.

"I think I've done it!" He yelled excitedly.

"Done what? When did you get up?" I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"I think I've figured out how to keep Al's soul in his body! I'm not sure how long it'll work for; I don't even know if it will work come to think on it."

"Well let's go see him and find out!" Ed went and gathered the things he needed while I got dressed and packed a few things into a bag. We Ported to Oryx's castle and Ed told Al the news while I talked to Oryx.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us? I'd stay with you but someone's got to go with them to Port them back." I asked for the third time, Oryx shook her head.

"I'll go hunt Orange Flying Monkey Vampires with Peanut." I nodded. "When do you think you'll be back?" Oryx asked, I shrugged.

"No idea, if the Alchemy unravels, then I guess, but if it sticks I'll come back in a month or so." Oryx nodded and started sorting her arrows. Ed ran into the room, panting slightly.

"We're ready." I jumped to my feet and followed him, Oryx behind me.

Al was standing in the middle of a complex array, holding his blood seal in his hands. Ed clapped his hands together and placed them on the array and it lit up with a blue fire. The blood red seal in Al's hand flared and a wind whipped his hair around his face. The light faded and Al stepped out of the circle and looked himself over, Ed ran up to him.

"How do you feel?" He asked, concern showing in every centimetre of his body and face. Al looked up and smiled.

"I feel great, thank you so much Brother!" I smiled, and then pulled out my camera and proceeded to take as many pictures of the transmutation circle as I could. Ed watched me with a strange look on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"What are you doing?"

"This has got to be the most complicated Transmutation circle I've ever seen in real life! And as my notebook isn't big enough to get this thing in proper detail photos are the better way to go." Ed sighed and shook his head in resignation. He packed his suitcase with clothes for him and Al, and prepared to leave. He was stepping out the door when I caught his arm.

"Wait, what are you going to say to the military and everyone about Al magically getting his body back?" Ed frowned.

"I've thought a little about that, but nothing really seems to fit. If we say it's the Philosopher's Stone they'll demand to see it. But not much else can do what Oryx did. I just strengthened the bond with Alchemy so that it has some logical tie in our world." I nodded. We sat in silence thinking with all our might.

"Well doesn't most of the military think Al is just tall and wearing armour anyway? So they shouldn't be too much of a problem." Ed nodded.

"The people who do know shouldn't say anything around anyone else. I think we might be able to pull this off by just avoiding questions about Al. At least until Frog leaves." Ed stood up again and walked back over to the door. "You ready?" Al nodded so did I. We stepped through the doorway and out into Ed's world.

**Next time on CCC: There is quite a bit of lying done.**


	15. Ogygian

**No more disclaiming! This is the last disclaimer!**

**-Gathers entire cast of FMA, minus those who are dead-**

_**Cast: **_**Determinedtofly does not own Fullmetal Alchemist. -Cast randomly breaks out into song.- **_**She'll never own it! She won't own it! Oh no no no! **_

**Me: Oh shut up!  
Hiromu Arakawa: -Sings along- **_**And her drawing is really bad! So even if she owned it, it would be taken away again!**_

**-Cast and Arakawa start dancing with top hats. I leave, slamming a random door that leads to nothing as I go.- **

_I just produce an aura of awesomeness that draws everyone's eyes to me. Even when I'm just walking along._

No one ever seems to notice me.  
Even when I fall down stairs.

We landed in an alley in Central, just off the road that lead to central headquarters. Ed peered around the corner, and declared it clear.

"Wait," he said as we made to walk out, "Frog, how do we explain you?"

"I could be a new aspiring recruit in the army? Do state Alchemists take on apprentices?" Ed shrugged.

"I might be able to get away with the apprentice thing, if we say you're studying for the Alchemy exam." I smiled.

"Of course I wouldn't be even considering taking it for years, but I want a head start." Ed nodded.

"Of course." He said, Al laughed and Ed and I turned to look at him.

"What?" We said together, Al waved us off and lead the way out onto the street. The three of us walked through a market that had stalls selling everything you could ever think of. I walked up the a clothes stall and picked up a jacket exactly like Ed's only it was a deep blue, and it had an outline of a wolf in silver on the back. I turned to Ed, eyes begging.

"Please! Please please with honey drizzled on top in a tasty yet still not too much way. With cherries and a few strawberries and some crushed nuts and anchovies, though maybe that won't work with the other stuff. With a pirate ship and ice cream and green tea and the magical happy shiny glittery sparkly unicorn of the great and powerful kingdom of-"

"Okay! Just stop talking!" Ed said loudly. I flashed him a grin and pulled the coat on as he paid the owner of the stall. We continued walking down the street; I could see Central Headquarters looming up ahead.

"Hey Ed, why are you coming back here anyway? I thought you gave up the military?" I asked.

"Mustang offered me a deal, I don't have to be a dog anymore but I still get some research funds and I can use the library reserved for State Alchemists. Only I still have to make regular reports especially if I discover something really big." I nodded and so did Al. Ed pushed open the gate when we reached it and we strode into The Central Headquarters of the President King Bradley and headed towards Mustang's office.

"Wow, this place is big and confusing too. How do you not get lost?" I asked, trying to remember the mess of hallways and turns. Ed just shrugged.

He pushed open the door to Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang's office loudly and barged inside.

"Okay we're here, let's get this over with." Ed said, sitting down hard on the couch. Mustang looked up from his paperwork, his eyes widening as he took in me and Al. First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye shut the door as he stood up.

"What's going on here Fullmetal?" He demanded pointing at me and Al. "Who are these two, and where's Al?"

"The girl is my Alchemic student and the boy is Al. He wanted out of the armour; so we're giving it a trial run." Ed said, propping his feet up on the table in front of him. Mustang stared at Ed for a minute, opened his mouth, then shut it and surveyed me disdainfully.

"Student huh? What's your name kid?" I thought fast.

"Robyn." Mustang nodded.

"Well then, Robyn, you should be able to tell me some basic laws of Alchemy." I took a deep breath and stepped forward a little.

"Yes sir, Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang Flame Alchemist sir!" I said his title with a small grin on my face, giving a small salute as I did. Ed snorted. "All Alchemy follows the principle of Equivalent Exchange. In order to create one type of matter it is necessary to supply an equal amount of the same type of matter. The three steps of a Transmutation are: Analysis, Deconstruction, and Reconstruction. All life and death follows the same law; the "flow" of energy throughout the universe." I grinned at Mustang; he looked taken aback for a minute, the snorted.

"Anyone can be a parrot, if I could trouble you for a demonstration."

"Yes Sir Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang Flame Alchemist sir." Mustang raised his eyebrow after I said his full and complete title for the second time. I nodded and Al gave me a piece of chalk to use. I drew a simple, and slightly wobbly, transmutation circle on the floor of the office, activated it, and a miniature cannon engraved with a line of charging horses sprung up out of the floorboards. Mustang nodded, seemingly satisfied.

"Well then Robyn you're welcome to stay at the military barracks for the duration of your visit. Fullmetal too, of course." I looked at Ed, who nodded wearily.

"Good, First Lieutenant Hawkeye, show her there." Hawkeye nodded and walked smartly out of the door, I ran after her.

How could you? It's murder of the worst kind!  
_I ate ice-cream…_

Exactly!

Mustang sat down at his desk and surveyed Ed over some paperwork.

"A student, Fullmetal?" He smirked.

"Yeah, aren't I allowed to train an Alchemist looking to join the military?" Mustang continued to smirk.

"Yes you are. She looks like a good fit for you, how much younger is she? I couldn't gauge it from your height difference." Ed twitched.

"Who're you calling so short he could climb an ant hill like a mountain!" He yelled, Mustang laughed, then became serious again.

"Seriously now Fullmetal what is this about? You know as well as I do that Al wouldn't just take off his armour." Ed picked imaginary lint off his clothes.

"Well!" Mustang said loudly. Ed sighed.

"You wouldn't believe me anyway, even if I did tell you, which I won't." Ed stood up. "I just came in to tell I was in town and inform you of my taking on a student." Mustang sighed.

"Very well then Fullmetal, I can see this is getting nowhere. You can go now." Mustang picked up his pen and began to half-heartedly sign paperwork again. Ed walked to the door and opened it, just as Lieutenant Hawkeye got to the door. She stepped aside to let him and Al pass.

"I put her in Room 15, 16 is empty too." She said, Ed nodded and set off down the hallway and up the stairs at the end, Al following behind him.

_Shut up!_

…

_I said Shut up_!

…

_-Click-_

I ran to catch up with Hawkeye. She watched me out of the corner of her eye.

"I find it hard to believe that Edward would take on a student at all, and impossible to believe that he would help anyone become a State Alchemist. What did you do?" I looked up at her, wondering myself now why Ed was teaching me anything. He wasn't actually training me to be a State Alchemist, but all the same.

"It's probably my library; I have quite a large collection of books." Hawkeye smiled.

"I'm sure it's something more than just the books you have. Ed doesn't get close to people very easily." I mulled over this statement for a while, Hawkeye watched me.

"I never really thought about why before..." I said quietly, I was confused now. Why was he doing any of this? Was the only reason he was doing any of this with me just to get to those books and help Al? No, he wouldn't do that, he wants to help his brother but he wouldn't be that cruel.

We walked the rest of the way to the room in silence, Hawkeye nodding in greeting to the few officers we passed, and with me in deep thought about everything. Hawkeye unlocked the door of the room when we reached it and gave me a key.

"Think about it, there is always a reason behind Ed's actions." She said, smiling, and walked back towards Mustang's office. I walked inside the room and put my pack down on one of the beds in there; there were two beds, a little kitchenette, a bathroom, a lounge and coffee table, and a small desk with a lamp. I pulled out my notebook, the one with the green cover, and wrote down my new question; Why?

The next thing to be unpacked was the few books I had managed to fit in my pack, all of them about Alchemy except for two, "Sky Tail" and "War". I arranged the books in a pile on one end of the desk. I picked the top one and sat on my bed, with my head against the headboard, to read it. I was a few chapters in when someone knocked on the door.

"Fr-Robyn?" It was Ed. "You in there?" I marked my page and stood up.

"Just a second." I walked over to the door and pulled it open. Ed was standing in the corridor, completely alone; Al wasn't with him for some reason. I invited him in and we sat down on the lounge.

Al went ahead to our room next door, to unpack a few things." Ed said, gesturing to the far wall.

"I came by to see if you were okay, settled in and stuff." He said. I nodded.

"Yeah I'm okay, this place is cool. I was wondering thought, what do you usually do when you're here?" Ed frowned a little.

"We're usually researching the Philosophers Stone while we're here." I nodded.

"But now that Al has his body back, what do you plan on doing now?" I asked, he shot me a quizzical look. "Well the Alchemy on Al looks like it worked. So are you going to keep on searching for the Stone?" Ed shook his head.

"Getting Al his body back was my goal. Getting my limbs would have been a nice bonus, but I can live with my Automail." He rubbed his flesh arm unconsciously along the shoulder port, as if it pained him. It creaked when he moved it.

Lama is eating cows.

Al pulled a few books and papers out of the suitcase. If he strained he could just hear the hum of voices next door. He sifted through the suitcase looking for a book he might have missed.

His hand brushed against soft material, he groped around and pulled out a small drawstring bag. Ed must have packed it. Wondering what his brother would pack without telling him Al opened the neck of the bag and tipped the contents out onto his palm.

A thin golden chain spilled out of the bag and pooled in the centre of Al's hand, at the end of the chain hung a silver leaf. Engraved on the leaf, in the centre, was a small circle with another circle inside it, and another inside that. It looked like one of the targets Hawkeye used to practice shooting on. Al tipped the necklace back into the bag and put it back into the suitcase.

**I love calling Pony Boy by his whole title! It's so much fun!**

**Until next time, in which there is painting, and a very long and pointless dream. **


	16. Poikilitic

Because…

"You should go to Resembool, and get Winry to look at your arm." I said. "It's all creaky." Ed grimaced momentarily, then his face cleared and he looked up, smiling. As if he'd just thought of something that made him happy.

"Winry'll be so happy to see Al back in his body again." I nodded in agreement. Winry did so want these boys to be happy.

"But do you have an exact plan of what you're doing next Ed?" I asked.

"I suppose me 'n' Al will go back to Resembool, rebuild our house, and live our lives in peace. Helping people with Alchemy when we can." He smiled, and I joined him.

A small part of me said quietly that Ed wouldn't be fully satisfied with just sitting around all day being peaceful; he flourished in action and fast movement. I squashed the voice; living in peace was what they had been working towards this entire time.

"You'll still teach me Alchemy too, right? While I stay that is." Ed's smile slipped into a frown, and my own smile fell from my face as a meditated on the prospect of leaving Al and Ed behind.

"Yeah, while you stay… I wonder how Al's gonna take being away from Oryx, not well I'd guess."

"Well we'll just have to come and visit you guys a lot. That way Al and Oryx would be able to see each other and I can learn Alchemy." I said forcefully. Ed nodded, his smile returning though not as big or bright as before. I stretched and looked at the clock on the wall, it had been late afternoon when we got here but the sun had set now and I was tired.

"I think I'll turn in for the night. G'night." I said, standing up and yawning. Ed got up and walked to the door.

"Good night Fr-," He paused. "Robyn." He said quietly and walked out the door, shutting it behind. I took a hot shower, brushed my teeth, pulled on a pair of light beige pants and a sky blue top, and wriggled into bed.

I hate you.

Hawkeye walked back into Mustang's office and sat down with a sigh, Mustang looked up from pretending to do his paperwork.

"What is it, Lieutenant Hawkeye?" He asked.

"That girl sir, why do you think Ed's teaching her?" Mustang smirked.

"I have no idea. I'm sure it's a good reason though." He said.

"Yes I'm sure sir. But what?"

"You know Hawkeye, for some reason that girl looks familiar. Do we know her?"

"I don't think so sir."

Big Elephants And Dodgy Giraffes Can't Fit.

_I woke up and stormed out of my room, down a hall, and into a courtyard.  
_

"_Roll call!" I screeched. A horde of children ran out of rooms around the courtyard and lined up._

"_Albert!"_

"_Bertha!"_

"_Cuthbert!"_

"_Dilys!"_

"_Enid!"_

"_Freddy!"_

"_Gilbert!_

"_Hannah!_

"_Izzy!"_

"_Jacob!"_

"_Kenneth!"_

"_Lucy"!_

"_Maurice!" _

"…"

_Run._

I woke up at four thirty seven the next morning, sweating in fear from a nightmare I could only remember in broken fragments. There was blood, and screams. I shoved the dream to the back of my mind and got up for a glass of water. Deciding that a glass of water wasn't enough to calm me down I had an early morning shower.

I towelled my hair dry and sat on the lounge with one of my Alchemy books, no monsters or faery folk in those, just facts. I sat reading the book until six o'clock, at which point I got dressed and ate what passed for breakfast after I tried my hand at cooking.

I read a little more before venturing out into the halls of the Central Command Centre in search of Mustang's office. I slipped a note under Ed and Al's door telling them that I had gone in search of the office and if I wasn't there when they were that I was lost and to come and find me.

The halls were just as confusing as they were the first time I walked down them with Al and Ed but I was fairly certain that I could find my way. After ten hallways and five dead ends of telling myself this as I picked corridors at random I gave up and admitted that I was lost and had no idea where I was going.

I tried to double back but ended up more lost then ever, I tried asking the officers that I encountered in my wanderings but they never seemed to hear me talking. I was feeling hopeless, annoyed and ready to bash my head against the nearest brick wall.

After a further eternity of pointless wandering I managed to get to the front door. I found that I could vaguely remember the way Ed took from here, so I set off once more into the winding halls.

What felt like an hour later I pushed open the door to Mustang's office and sank into a chair. Mustang raised his eyebrows when he looked up from his paperwork and saw me.

"It's a bit late to be up and about Robyn." He said, I sighed.

"So it would seem." I said. Mustang returned to his paperwork and I turned my focus on to Hawkeye, who was reading the morning paper.

"Um, Hawkeye." She looked up. "What time is it?" She walked to the window and looked out.

"Eleven twenty five." I watched her as she opened up her paper again, then burst out laughing, falling off the lounge. Ed and Al walked in while I was rolling on the floor laughing. Al said a polite good morning to Mustang, Riza and me, then sat down on the lounge. Ed stood above me, watching me spazz.

"What are you doing?" He asked. "What's so funny this time?" I giggled loudly.

"It took me five hours and twenty five minutes to get here." I said, gasping for breath, before I started laughing all over again. Ed pulled me up by the elbow and sat me next to Al while I tried to calm down. I eventually managed to suppress my mirth.

"So Al, I was thinking of going out to do something today. See some more of Central." Ed said, Al and I gasped.

"Really? Cool!" I said loudly and started bouncing around the room.

"I'm going back home to Resembool tomorrow." I heard Ed say as I bounced around the room happily.

"When are we going?" I asked, coming to a jump stop in front of Ed. He took a small step back.

"Uh now I guess…"

"Cool! Let's go! Bye Mustang! Hawkeye!" I yelled, grabbing Ed by the wrist and pulling him out of the room, snatching up my pack from where I had let it fall earlier. We walked through the labyrinthine hallways of the military's central command centre. We emerged onto the street and I immediately ran over to one of the book stores, dragging Ed behind me.

"I've never heard of this one before. This looks good. Oh look Manga!" I buried Ed in a pile of books, decided that I didn't want most of them anyway, and left. We walked down the street looking through windows and talking, someone bumped into me and I felt a tug at my throat. I put my hand to my neck, my moon pendant was gone. I spun around, spotted the person, and started running after them, with Ed and Al following behind me.

"Hey!" I called the person sped up, then stumbled, I turned around, grabbed Ed, and threw him at the strange person. Confident that Ed wouldn't let him get away I stoped running and talked to Al.

"But then the moose- What was that?" Al looked up sharply.

"What was what?"

"That noise, it was almost like a miaow. Give me your bag!" Al struggled but I managed to wrestle it off him just as Ed came over, having successfully handed the man over to the police.

"Why did you throw me at that guy?" He asked, mad.

"I'm sorry! I didn't want to lose that pendant! I swear by Jed that I'll never break the laws of physics and logic in you world again unless I really need to." Ed sighed and handed over the pendant. I clipped it on and turned back to Al's bag, slowly unzipping it.

"What's going on?" Ed asked warily.

"This is." I sad, and pulled a cat out of Al's bag. Not just any cat; a multi-coloured cat. Painted all the colours of the rainbow. Ed jumped in shock in that manga-ey way.

"What the hell is that!" He yelled, I shoved the cat into his arms.

"Take care of the paint would you?" He nodded and walked a few steps away. I turned to Al. "What the hell Al? Why'd you paint the poor kitteh?" Al hung his head.

"I'm sorry, he was just sitting over there, and he looked so plain and white. He called to me!" I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him hard.

"Snap out of it Al!" I stopped shaking and slapped him in the face a couple if times. Ed walked back over, set the now white cat on the ground where it scampered away and stood watching me yell at Al.

"I'm sorry! Oryx is rubbing off on me!" Al said, I shook my head.

"You can't let her! You have to fight it! We've both lost our grips on reality already, don't slip! If you go nuts the only semi-sane one around will be Ed, and he's a midget. What can he do!"

"Who are you calling a midget so tiny he uses a toothpick as a sword!" Ed yelled.

"You, Shorty." I said, he growled. Al held out his arms in a calming gesture. Ed took a few deep breaths and controlled his temper. We stood around for a minute before I got bored and pulled out a sheet of stickers.

"Lizard sticker!" I shouted as a stuck one of them to the forehead of someone walking past. Ed grabbed my arm and pulled my away down the street.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked, coming to a halt outside an antiques shop.

"Do you want the list?" I asked he shook his head quickly. I nodded. I thought so. We walked around the city for the rest of the day, stopping for lunch and short sugar breaks. We made it back to headquarters just before the gates closed. Goodnights were exchanged and I was reminded not to stay up too late as we would be leaving early tomorrow for Resembool. I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face, and dreamt of fire running through the towns on legs of Gold.

All is lost! Turn back!

_There's a basketball on the path…_

Run!

Oryx Ported into a forest beside a large tree. Peanut was sitting on one of the lower branches and she dropped to the ground when she noticed Oryx.

"Hey! Are you ready to hunt some M-Vamps?" She pulled out a bottle of chocolate sauce and aimed it at a tree. Oryx nodded.

"Ready and willing!" Oryx trooped after Peanut as she strode away from the tree. They walked out of the forest and into a graveyard.

**Ah, Ed rants, so entertaining. I'm posting before Friday this time because I just remembered that I'm going away Friday afternoon and this is the last chance I have to post before then. **

**Next time on CCC: Resembool is seen and visited.**


	17. Quixote

Just eat it!

_No!_

Ed shook me awake the next morning, prodded me in the head a few minutes later, then pulled me out of bed by the ankle.

"Okay, I'm up!" I said, rubbing my head and frowning up at Ed. I packed my things and we left for the train station. We stopped by Mustangs office, in time to see him washing windows and humming.

We walked to the train station and settled into a car, I read some of the books I'd picked up the day before and Ed talked with Al. We travelled for the rest of the day, changing trains twice over the next two days. We arrived in Resembool just as the sun was starting to set behind the hills.

I walked a while behind the boys as we got closer to the house. When Winry saw Ed, came running out of the house, and saw Al her cry of complete and utter happiness was almost painful to hear. She threw her arms around the both of them and hugged them tight.

She pulled back, sniffed, and then noticed me standing about twenty meters away, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes and a tilted head. Ed waved me over so I made my way up the road to where they were grouped and stood with my hands folded, standing slightly behind Ed and Al.

"Winry, this is my Alchemy student, Robyn." Ed said. "Robyn this is Winry." I shook the hand Winry offered and followed her, Ed, and Al up to the house.

"So what's going on?" Winry asked after I'd been introduced to Pinako, Ed sighed.

"Al has his body back, it's experimental Alchemy that we stumbled across; I've reached my goal so I gave up the military and came back here." Winry nodded.

"But what about you?" Ed shrugged.

"I think my arm needs a tune up; it creaks when I move my shoulder and the wrist joint clicks." Winry sighed sadly and went to get her tools.

We unpacked our stuff upstairs in the spare room. Ed had his arm tweaked and they decided that his leg could use a tune up too, but since it would take a while to do Winry pulled it off and they gave him the spare.

I woke up on our second day and went downstairs to see Winry asleep at the table she was using to work on Ed's leg. I walked over to her, noticing how hot the air was even though it was pretty early in the morning; the sun had just cleared the horizon. I shook Winry awake; she looked up at me blearily.

"Oh, morning Robyn. What time is it?" I shrugged, she sat up and yawned. "I should stop falling asleep like that. Wow it's hot, I think I'll go for a swim later, wanna come?" I nodded, I loved swimming.

"Sure, I'd love to!" I said happily. Winry grinned and went upstairs to take a shower and dress I sat back down on the couch and read a book. I kept reading until everyone else came down and started eating breakfast.

The day got hotter as it got later so an hour after breakfast we all decided to go for a swim, even Ed, who would have to stay in the shallows 'cause of his Automail. I had bought a swimsuit when we went exploring Central because it felt like summer and I liked to swim. Winry and Al gasped when I walked out of the bathroom that I changed in.

"What?" I asked looking myself over.

"Those scars on your leg." Winry said. "What happened to you?" I looked at Ed, who nodded his head slightly.

"Well the ones on my leg are from a wild dog that attacked me. The ones on my back are from the claws of this chimera I fought with Ed this one time." I said, turning to show Winry the scars on my back. Winry frowned but didn't say anything else.

After I grabbed a towel we walked down to the river, Winry dived in straight away, Ed and Al cautiously paced in, Al being slightly out of practice and Ed not wanting to sink and drown. I stood where Winry had and jumped in, making sure I landed as close to where she had as I could.

We swam and splashed a bit. Ed sort of waded in the water, not going past where his feet could touch the bottom as the weight of his Automail would drag him down. By the time we got back Pinako had finished with Ed's leg. I winced when they attached the leg, Al did too, we both hated seeing Ed in pain. I sat at the kitchen table with Al while Pinako and Winry tidied up and Ed slept off the reattachment. Ed showed no signs of waking up three hours later, so we gave up waiting and went to bed.

Pulverise?

Ed was being forced to rest by Pinako and Winry, so I went with Al to pick flowers. I was attacked by dirt clods and tripped by hills so I decided to head back early. When I got back to the house I found Pinako sitting out smoking on the porch and angry yelling coming from inside.

If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?

Ed shook me awake the next morning, looking panicked.

"I can't find Al!" He said frantically, I jumped up and Ed ran out of the room, I changed clothes quickly and ran after him. We searched the house first then, finding nothing, we ran in increasingly wide circles, calling for Al. We met up back at the house; too out of breath and panting heavily I sank to the ground.

"Where could he have gone?" I asked putting my head in my hands.

"I'm right here!" My head shot up and Ed spun around wildly.

"Where?"

"Here!" Ed stopped spinning and looked around. I put out my hand and slipped it into his pocket. I pulled it out holding Al's blood seal tightly in m hand.

"That you Al?" I asked.

"Yeah. I think the Alchemy unravelled" Said Al's voice. Ed nodded and sighed, I looked down at the ground. We walked back inside and I packed our things while Ed explained, I'm not quite sure what he said, to Winry and Pinako. We walked to the train station then I took Ed's hand and Ported us back our dimension.

Forced graphite.

"Hey granny?" Winry said, watching the group disappear.

"Yes Winry?" Pinako looked up from some schematics.

"Have we ever met that girl before? She looks so familiar. It's almost as if I saw her in a dream or something."

DEER! EVIL, EVIL DEER ON A BLOODY RAMPAGE THAT WILL KILL US ALL!

I had closed my eyes when we Ported, when I opened them I was standing in the Entrance Hall of my castle with Ed and Al, who was back in his body now. Ed pulled his brother into a hug.

"I'm sorry Al." He said quietly.

"You shouldn't be sorry." Al said. "It's not your fault."

"I'll just have to keep working then." Ed said. I bounced over and grinned at him.

"You get to spend even more time in our castles too!" He mock groaned and I shoved him.

"What was Oryx doing all this time?" Al asked, I looked up.

"She was hunting Orange Flying Monkey Vampires with Peanut." Al nodded. At that moment Oryx appeared in the Hall, covered head to toe in chocolate sauce and with a biscuit stuck to her head. I waved cheerily then shot her a questioning look.

"Peanut missed the monkey." I nodded and she Ported with Al back to their castle. Ed sighed.

"I was so sure that it had worked." I slung my arm around his shoulder and we walked up the stairs together, separating at the top, him to the library, me to the shrines. I thanked Jed that no one had been around when I broke the laws of the universe, Kallannya for not letting Al die when the Alchemy unravelled.

I updated Jed once again on the progress I'd made on his bag. (Almost done, just need to sew one side the right way out his time, and find something to use for a drawstring.) I prayed and polished the shrines until Ed came to find me when the lakes changed.

"I know you don't believe in religion, but please don't say anything." I said to Ed when he opened his mouth. I changed into the clothes I made for bed, brushed my teeth, performed a ritual of thanks to the moon, and went to bed.

Fly on the cup of my heart.

_Fire, all around me. I tried to run for a door, but the flames were in the way. They blocked my escape on all sides. I choked on the smoke, falling to my knees. The world started spinning, I fought to keep a grip on it but it slipped away._

_Black, White. Everything snapped into focus. I was in a forest not my Forest, just a normal one. A wolf walked across the path in front of me and disappeared into the trees, even though it was very light in the forest. A bluebird fluttered overhead, twittering. I strolled down the path, yet I never seemed to get anywhere. _

_Then I saw someone up at the end of the path, they beckoned to me, I started running. The sun was in my eyes, I couldn't see who it was, all the more reason to get there faster. I was almost to the person when they whipped around and vanished behind a corner. Just before they did I caught a glimpse of black hair and a flash of red cloth. _

**Next time on CCC: The Apocalypse comes again!**


	18. Recondite

Warning: Secret meeting place up ahead.  
Shhh… You didn't hear it from me.

I fell out of my bed and landed on the floor. Ed sat up at the thud and at my cry. I half sat on the ground rubbing my elbow. Ed looked over at me.

"Don't say anything." I grumbled.

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the magical ice castle." I stuck my tongue, then turned around and saw that the wall just above my bed had 'Wrong' painted on it in purple paint. I giggled, and went downstairs for some water. Ed followed me down after a minute or so, fully dressed, minus shoes, and carrying an Alchemy book. I sighed and pulled the book out of his hands.

"Take a break from the study for a few days. Please." He tried to grab the book back, so I held it over my head, standing on my toes. He jumped, and grabbed the book, he was so surprised that he let go and fell onto the ground. I pulled him up and stood him in front of me. His eyes were exactly level with mine. I screamed and ran in hysterical circles, Ed caught my arm and made me sit down until I was as calm as I ever get. I then stood up, grabbed his arm and Ported us to Oryx's castle. I burst into her and Al's room.

"Guys, guys wake up!" They shifted slightly. "Ed is he same height as me!" I yelled, the sat up and Oryx jumped out of bed.

"Is it the Apocalypse?" She cried, looking around frantically.

"Yes! Wait a minute. No. It's just Ed growing. All this relaxing I'm making him do is doing him some good." I shook my head, smiling.

"Speaking of relaxing, we haven't sparred in a while Al. Want to have a go?" Ed said, Al nodded and they went outside. I ate a breakfast of purple fruit with Oryx and told her about my dream and waking up. She laughed sheepishly when I told her about the 'Wrong'. I looked at her from across the table.

"It was you wasn't it?" She nodded, I flicked a grape at her. Ed and Al walked loudly into the room moments later.

"I told you already, I'm sorry for throwing you that far!" Al was saying, Ed sighed.

"Yeah I know. Still doesn't mean it didn't hurt when I hit that tree." They sat down and ate breakfast with us. I watched them talk for a minute then stood up suddenly.

"Party time!" I screamed, and ran out of Oryx and Al's castle. I ran until I got to the back door of mine and Ed's castle. I ran around the castle, pulling down boxes of decorations and cans of paint and glue. Ed walked in the main doors while I was painting the Hall I shot down the ladder and out to where he was standing.

"Hi!" I said loudly, he winced slightly.

"What party where you talking about?" He asked. I pushed open the doors into the hall; Ed did an anime jaw drop.

The left wall of the hall had an enormous painting of him on it, floor to ceiling. The right had one of Al. The floor of Ed's half was painted red, the wall around the painting was a deep green. Al's side was light green floor and a sunny yellow wall.

Each half of the Hall had coloured streamers stuck to the wall, Ed's were black and Al's were orange. Long tables were stacked with each brother's favourite food and placed to each side. Up the other end of the hall there was a dance floor and a small stage for the band. I turned to Ed, smiling, he stared with bugged out eyes.

"It's a party for you and Al!" I said happily, he nodded faintly.

"I noticed." I ran to the cupboard that we had stashed Al's armour in and opened it; a mountain of paper fell out and buried me. I pushed my way to the top and shot a piskie-ish grin.

"Invitation time!" I waded out of the paper and pulled a pen and I guest list out of my pocket, I handed them to Ed, then reached into my other pocket and pulled out another pen and another guest list, both of the lists where about as long as I, and now Ed, was tall.

We set to work writing the invitations; we were done and had them sent within a few hours. We made sure that they were all sent and sat down on a blue lounge to wait. After ten minutes I got bored and ended up upside-down. Ed looked at me funny so I pulled myself the right way up and then lay down, using him as a pillow, he rested his arm on my head. Oryx Ported into the castle ten minutes later and I got up to greet her.

"Tampo Kachi! I lost The Game." I said Oryx nodded.

"What's up?" She said. I looked at the ceiling, saying nothing. Oryx walked over to where I was standing and looked at the ceiling with me. Al watched us for a minute then came over and looked up. Ed just watched. I looked down from the ceiling and saw Al and Oryx standing next to me looking up.

"What are you all standing around here for? To the Hall!" I said dramatically and they followed me to the doors of the Hall. I pushed them open and Al did an anime jaw drop while Oryx laughed.

"Oh look Fruit Punch!" She said loudly and ran down the Hall toward the bowl, I ran after her.

"Wait 'till the other guests get here!" Al walked out to where Ed was still sitting on the couch and sat down next to him.

"How do you think she found out our favourite foods and things?" He asked Ed shrugged.

"I've stopped trying to figure it out." Al laughed lightly. I walked out of the Hall drenched in punch with Oryx behind me, also sopping. Al pulled a towel out of somewhere and wrapped it around her shoulders, while Ed sighed and clapped his hands. I was dry in a few seconds, though I still smelled slightly of pineapples and peaches, Ed offered to dry Oryx too but she seemed happy with Al towelling her dry.

I made more punch while Ed greeted the guests and band. The band struck up with FMA theme song one; Melissa so I ran onto the dance floor and started dancing wildly, singing along in Japanese. After that the band played slower songs as background music while everyone ate.

We stood around, eating food, like apple pie, and drinking Not-milk and fruit punch. About half an hour later I climbed up on to the small stage and stood behind one of the microphones.

"So people! This was one hell of a beginning; so let's keep that proverbial ball rolling!" A few mutters and a confused 'huh?' greeted this speech. I sighed, Oryx jumped up onto the stage, tripped and I caught her.

"What she means is let's keep this party going!" The crowd cheered and the band turned up speakers and a few changed instruments, the music started blaring and people started dancing. I danced with a few people, tripped and fell a few (Hundred) times, and decided to sit the next few faster dances out. Though whenever a Fullmetal theme song came on I ran on to the dance floor and sang along loudly. While the band was taking a break I got up onto the stage again, with Al and Oryx behind me carrying a cloth covered table.

"Time for awards!" I said, the crowd looked over, and then came to gather at the bottom of the stage, sitting on the red wood chairs that were carried in by minions. "Our first award of the evening goes to our very own Hagane no Renkinjutsushi, Edward Elric! For Most awesome Alchemy!"

I pulled a golden trophy of Ed's antenna attached to a wooden base out from under the sheet and handed it to him, along with a transmutation circle engraved on a sheet of Gice (Ice/Gold). There was a smattering of slightly confused applause.

"Our next award goes to Alphonse Elric for the most bestest Unsurpassed Brother in the history of Brothers. Ever." I handed Al his trophy of a dog with his armour helmet on and an engraving of an Oryx in Gice.

The audience now seemed to have more of a grip on what was going on, so there was louder applause this time.

`"Our next award for most horrifying, yet still exceedingly awesome, goes to Jack Skellington!"

"Duh!" Said Peanut, as I handed Jack his trophy of the Grim reapers scythe and his engraving of a Jack O'lantern. The crowd put their hands together (A few times actually!) and I stood at the microphone smiling.

"Now our next award is for the Entire cast of FMA, except Hohinheim, Dante, Envy, Pride, and Sloth, for their general awesomeness!" This trophy was about twice as big as my head, made of crystal that I had transmuted with Ed's help, and it was of an ice castle. I handed it over to Mustang and handed the giant engraving of a cat to Hawkeye.

"That concludes our trophy giving for this evening! The band looks well rested so let's get back to partying!" The crowd cheered enthusiastically, those with trophies and Gice left them up near the doors to the Hall, to be collected on their way out.

The party went on continuously, with a minor FanGirl interruption, for the rest of the night. With the last guests, Peanut and a small white cat, leaving just as the stars started winking out.

Ed helped me take down most of the decorations and the Minions turned up long enough to take away the food and tables, though I decided to keep the floor to ceiling Ed and Al. After a quick shower and a short prayer at Jed's alter, which included a reverent touch of the Lumpy of epic win, Ed and I stumbled into bed as the sun cleared the horizon.

**Cheer for parties! They rule! -Random Minions cheer.- **

**Next time on CCC: Sides are taken.**


	19. Seese

I know the secret to flying!  
Just fall up!

When I woke up the next morning and stretched over Ed's bed to look out the window I was met with an almost impenetrable barrier of light purple snowflakes. I squealed and lost my balance, landing on Ed. He sat up, now awake, and shot me a look. I stood up then knelt on some empty space on his bed to look out the window.

"Look Edo!" I said excitedly, pulling Ed over and pointing out the window at the barrage of snow. "Snow!" He grinned at my expression.

"You don't see much snow do you?" He asked. I shook my head, grinning from ear to ear. "I wonder if Al and Oryx have seen it yet." I stared out the window at the lavender snow, watching it swirl. As I watched it plans for the day began forming in my mind. Snow offered many opportunities for craziness and mischief, purple snow especially so.

"How do you feel about spending the day messing about with Oryx and Al?" I asked Ed, "Have a break, throw some snow around." Ed stood up, nodded silently, got dressed, and went downstairs for breakfast. I watched the snow for a small while longer, then dressed and went down the stairs to join him.

Well, more correctly, to watch him eat while I drank tea. I made myself a mug of my new 'Baron Blend' tea and sat down a few seats away from Ed with the newspaper spread out in front of me.

"Anything interesting in there?" Ed asked me through a mouthful of toast.

"Not much." I replied. "The Piskie queen, Ishzusx, has a cold. The Dark Unicorns have been spotted moving north in the direction of their other field." I turned the page, scanning for anything worthwhile. "Weather report says that the snow should stick around for the rest of the week or so." Ed grinned at this prediction. When Ed finished breakfast we Ported to Oryx and Al's castle door. She answered the door after what I judged to be about five minutes and pulled us inside.

"You're here!" Se shouted happily, "I was worried we'd have to start without you." She gestured to Al, I tilted my head to the side quizzically.

"Start what?" I asked Oryx, who just grinned evilly.

"This." She pulled up her arm and lobbed a compact ball of lilac snow into my face. I squealed, shaking it off, and ran out the door in search of ammo. I ran around the side of the castle and out onto open cloud. Scooping up an armful of the lavender snow as I ran, I noticed that it didn't seem to melt as quickly or as much as other snow. I scrambled up a large cloud tower and began making balls of snow, stacking them semi-neatly.

A quick glance up and around revealed the others doing much the same thing; Al was packing snow into a fort-like wall, Oryx had made a statue of a chipmunk out of her snow, and Ed, like me, was furiously packing snow together into balls from behind an Alchemy created wall. Realising that I might need cover I pulled up some of the cloud I was sitting on and made a wall that would offer me a fair amount of protection.

Snowballs ready, I stuck my head out from behind my barrier, took aim, and tossed the second snowball of the day. It sailed through the air, curving slightly, and smacked into the side of Ed's head. The hit sparked the battle; purple snow flew in every direction, even straight up.

Due to the height at which I was situated I could see and attempt to aim around the defences that Ed, Al, and Oryx had put up, but it also made me stand out. The battle wasn't made any easier by Ed's inclusion of his snow cannon, or Al and Oryx's seeming inability to aim at or hit one another; they eventually gave up the pretext and joined forces. Ed, observing this development, turned his cannon away from the base of my tower and towards the others.

He fired at them while I made more snowballs, which I then threw while he reloaded. Al and Oryx worked with a similar strategy, Oryx making snowballs and tossing them gently over to Al who threw them with a precision I could only hope to achieve.

I got hit in the arm, leg, and them chest in quick succession by Al and plummeted off of my tower and onto the snow below, where I lay for a minute getting my breath back then bursting into peals of laughter, gathering more snow, and climbing back up my pillar of snow once more. The fight came to an end when Ed, just after I'd been knocked off my snow column for the fourth time, managed to hit and take down both Al and Oryx.

We pelted them with snow for about thirty seconds, and then helped them up and we all went inside to drink hot chocolate and roast marshmallows. Or, if you're like me, set them on fire and watch the pretty burning. We sat in chairs around the fire, chatting and drinking; Ed took the opportunity to shove some more Alchemy into my skull.

"The particles attract then repel each other. Then you use that energy to cause the chain reaction and, what was that saying again, 'Bob's your uncle'?" I looked up from my notes.

"Well actually he's my second cousin." Ed kept writing notes for a few seconds, and then his head rose slowly, staring at me. I grinned at him over my notebook, he raised an eyebrow. We sat like that until Oryx slid slowly down into view, like a crazy, smiling Spiderman.

"We're all rested now, time to go back outside." She said, I grinned at her. Oryx flipped to the ground in front of me, stumbled, and fell on top of me. Al pulled her up off of me and I stood up, brushing my clothes down.

"Right then, so who's up for skiing?" I looked around the room for opinions, Al smiled and nodded, Ed seemed resigned to the whole thing, and Oryx who smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

She walked over to a cupboard, opened it, and was buried under an avalanche of skis and poles. I jogged over and pulled a pair of purple skis off the top of the pile, uncovering Oryx's head. She jumped up, scattering equipment all over the floor. She picked up some metallic purple poles and I handed her the skis.

I gathered up some yellow star patterned skis with poles and threw them to Al, who caught them deftly. I threw the red ones with black stripes to Ed, though due to my uncoordinated-ness he got hit in the head with one. I picked up the blue-grey skis with white spots.

"Let's get skiing!" Oryx said brightly, and we trooped out the doors and went in search of a suitable hill, gave up, and went skiing on the foam in Carly Simon's coffee. As I had never even touched skis before I set up a safe distance away from the others. Oryx, however, decided not to, as her permanent aura of awesomeness would protect her and everyone else.

It didn't work. She hit Ed with a ski, clobbered Al with a pole, and almost decapitated herself before she started down the slope. My plan of staying away wasn't entirely foolproof though, as I still managed to run head long into Ed, after falling over numerous times and running into walls just as much. When the foam started to dissipate we re-located to an unknown slope of light green snow we discovered recently, or just then.

Jumps were out of the question for me and Oryx, so while Ed and Al attempted flips we decided on some gentle slope skiing. We slid gently down 'Mix' and onto 'Clench'. I was starting to get the hang of skiing by then, meaning that I fell over every few minutes instead of every few seconds. I got confident enough so as to not have to constantly be watching the ground. Jed seemed to be in a joke playing mood that morning, as shown when I caught a pole and a ski on the same rock, went flying through the air, and landed in a well.

The walls were tilted, no doubt due to the age of the well, and covered with ice, so it was more of an almost vertical slide than a fall. I slid down into the darkness, quickly loosing my gear, and splashed into the mercifully un-frozen water. I sunk a few meters, thrashed to the surface, and looked up at the lopsided hole, about the size of a Want Want cracker, that was the well top. I heard Oryx's voice yelling something faintly, a popping noise, and Ed and Al's voices joined her.

"You okay Frog?" It was Oryx. I tried to yell a reply, but Dionius had decided to decrease the water temperature rapidly, making it difficult to get the amount of air required. I tried out a loud whistle, which seemed to work, as the voices started up again.

"How far down are you?" It was Ed this time. I whistle-shrugged, (A whistle that starts high and goes low in a slur). Oryx must have informed the others what this meant because the voices started up again, faster now. A rock splashed into the water next to me, missing me narrowly. It must have knocked the wall on the way down, causing a cluster of rocks to rain down into the water. One of them hit the side of my head and I felt the blood start flowing. Oryx, Al and Ed started talking again; they seemed to be arguing now.

"Can you Port up here?" Al called down. I took the deepest breath I could manage, wiped some blood out of my eye, and focused on being at the top of the well. The moment after I did a ring of Transmutation circles lit up on the wall about thirty meters above my head, and I went nowhere. "I guess not then." I heard Al say distantly.

It sounded like Oryx was asking him a question, but her voice was fading, so was the light. The water temperature dropped violently, I shivered once convulsively and my head snapped up. Ed shouted something indistinct and a rope with a knot tied in the end dropped down in front of me. I grabbed it and tugged, I rose out of the water and slowly towards the light. Oryx pulled my over the top of the well and Ed hauled up the rest of the rope.

"Nice one Frog, only you could get stuck down a well." Oryx said, I high-foured her weakly, swaying. Ed pulled out my blue coat and wrapped it around my shoulders. I nodded at him gratefully. The world was going fuzzy then, blackness overtook my vision and I felt my knees give out from under me. I was falling, I heard a fuzzy noise that sounded like a voice, and then the blackness pulled me under.

Someday I'll get your garden's river statue, and then you'll be sorry!

I woke up in an armchair next to Oryx's fire. Oryx had Ported us once more to her castle, where I was found dry clothes and the cut I got from the rock was washed. We spent the rest of the day sitting around the fire drinking, talking, and reading. We all went to bed early that night, to prepare for a promised early start tomorrow.

"Hagane no chibi san"

_I walked down large white halls, my footsteps echoing loudly. Paintings lined the walls, all of them depictions of tortured faces, their mouths opened wide in screams of agony. I continued to walk. I heard footsteps running behind me, a familiar voice calling my name, I kept walking away from the voice, to destinations unknown._

**Next time on CCC: Fears are faced.**


	20. Tabor

**I realised today that I should probably do a disclaimer every time something new that isn't mine comes up. Apart from FMA, I own the contents of this chapter.**

Clasping a pomegranate!

I woke with the sun the next morning, dressed, and ran downstairs to find Ed, who was already up. He was sitting in an armchair at the foot of the stairs, curling and uncurling the fingers of his Automail hand. I started to walk down the stairs towards him, caught my foot on air, and went tumbling head over heels the rest of the way down the stairs. I sat up at the bottom, rubbing my head, then used Ed's chair to pull myself up.

"Ready to go see Oryx jump off a cloud?" I asked, pulling on my coat. He nodded. Al was standing at the base of the cloud when we arrived, holding a pair of extra strength green binoculars.

"Good morning." Al said. "She should be jumping any minute now; I think she was waiting for you guys." He passed the binoculars over to me and I looked up at the cloud top Oryx pulled on a pair of orange goggles and sent us at the bottom a thumbs up.

She backed away from the edge a few steps, did some stretches, and took a running leap of the cloud. She plummeted downwards arms locked cross her chest. She spread them out and revealed cloth strung between her wrists and ankles. Her fall became a glide; the speed at which she was moving still forced her to run off the momentum when she did hit the ground. She jogged over to us, smiling broadly.

"That was awesome!" she said loudly. I high-foured her. We watched the rest of the sun rise and went back to Al and Oryx's castle for a breakfast of puce scrambled eggs with blueberries seasoned with sage. I was flicking a blueberry at Ed when Al cleared his throat.

"So a few days from now we, that is, Oryx and I are throwing yet another party." I grinned impishly and hit Ed between the eyes with a blueberry, he flicked one back.

"Sounds fun. You two always throw fantastic parties." Al smiled sheepishly, Oryx continued.

"Yeah, but this one's going to be different, though no less spectacular." She paused momentarily; I waved her on impatiently while getting an apple from the fruit bowl in the centre of the table. "We decided that this party was going to be a formal affair, tuxedoes, dancing and the like." I choked on my bite of apple, she hurried on.

"So we thought we'd go to dancing lessons and we found a teacher and she's really nice so please do this for me." I stared at them with bugged out eyes, an action I was certain that Ed was mirroring.

"Dancing?" I asked weakly. "I'll decapitate someone!" Ed nodded frantically. Oryx waved her hand lazily as if it was a minor problem.

"No you won't decapitate anyone, trust me, this woman could make uncoordinated incarnate as graceful as a swan, and probably better tempered." I wavered for a bit, and then sighed deeply.

"When do we start?" I asked resignedly, Ed sighed and rested his head on the table top.

"Yeah, give me a deadline to get my will in by." He said, voice muffled by the able. Oryx snorted and Al laughed happily.

"Hey! I won't kill you, much." I said, throwing my apple core at him, which missed by an elephant length.

"No she'll just put you in the hospital." Oryx commented. I laughed and fell off of my chair, and cliff. By the time I had climbed back up Oryx had vanished from the table. When I sat down Al got up and headed off in the direction of what sounded like a cat fight.

"So when do the lessons start?" I asked Ed, reaching over and grabbing another apple. He looked up from his book.

"Today, as soon as we're ready. Oryx also said that if we hadn't found something to wear by the time she come to get us, she's going to summon Alice and Rosalie." I shuddered. We sat at the table for a few minutes while I finished my apple and gave the core to a minion to compost. I stood up and pulled Ed's book out of his hands, marking his place with an oak leaf.

"Come, Edo! We shall go on a quest for clothes! Once more unto the breach, dear friends once more!" I cried, grabbing his wrist and Porting us to the castle. Ed walked over to his cupboard, pulled out the outfit he wore to lunch at Oryx's castle a little while back.

"Will this do?" He asked I nodded and gave him back his book; he went to the library to read it. I pulled open the doors to my wardrobe and started going through it.

After what seemed like hours I had determined that I owned six pairs of jeans and some other casual pants, a few Elvish hunting outfits, and an assortment of shirts. None of which I dubbed formal dance worthy. I was putting everything back when I noticed a dust coloured parcel lying on the floor. I picked it up and looked it over for a note, finding none I untied the string binding it together and opened it.

I was met with a variety of bright and dark coloured clothes, they spilled out of the paper and I rummaged through them. Most of them were dresses, which made me frown a little; there were skirts and tops too. I hung them up and selected one to wear. It was a pale yellow top with loose elbow length sleeves and an ankle length skirt the colour of new grass. I went downstairs and gave Ed his suit. While I was waiting Oryx Ported in. She looked me over and smiled.

"Thank Kallannya I don't have to call in Alice and Rosalie." She said, sitting down next to me. Ed came downstairs a few minutes later, Oryx summoned Al, and we Ported out of the castle.

Surfing librarian Chipmunks!

We appeared in a room of soft light and music with a thrumming beat. The split second after we arrived in the room a happy cry echoed across the room, we all spun around. A tall woman in a lavish outfit of silks and embroidery burst out of a wood panelled room and walked quickly over to us, arms outstretched in a welcoming gesture.

"You're here! Come in to the studio, no one else here today." I sighed, relieved. We followed her into the studio and stood where she bade us.

"My name is Rhiannon Fredrick and I will teach you to dance." Because Oryx is herself she picked a teacher who made up her own dances. The first one we were to attempt was called the Lorian Waltz; Rhiannon told us by and by that during initial design stages it had included a back flip. She positioned Al and Oryx together without incident, and then moved on to where I was standing with Ed, with a safe arm length between us. She shook her head, I twitched.

"No that will never do." She pulled me and Ed together, placed Ed's newly gloved right hand on my waist, clasped our hands together at shoulder height and stepped back. Satisfied that we were both decidedly uncomfortable she walked to the front of the room and stood watching the four of us.

"Now this dance is quite simple. To begin, for the girls, it's a step to the right, then a step back with your left foot, then right foot behind left foot, left foot to the left and spin to the right girls, boys you can spin too or just take a step so you meet up again. Then repeat with reversed feet." She stopped speaking and looked at us expectantly. Al and Oryx started dancing immediately, tripped, and started again.

I looked at Ed, his face was so close to mine I couldn't really avoid it, and we began attempting to dance. We were a few steps in when I trod on Ed's toe, tried not to trip, but regardless tripped and went sprawling. Ed pulled my to my feet and the whole process began all over again.

After about twenty minutes and numerous bruises I got the hang of where to put my feet, much to the joy of Ed's toes. It was only then that I noticed the soft music filling the room, and the warmth of another person close to me. My mind had been wholly focused on not falling down and or killing Ed.

"Better, better. A little more practise and we'll move on." Commented Rhiannon as she swirled past. I nodded faintly, treading on the front of Ed's shoe. We practised that same dance to faster music, and then learned a few more quick to remember ones.

As we were leaving that night Rhiannon asked Oryx about deadlines for having us all ready, she laughed when she heard the party was in three days and asked us if we would like to come earlier in the morning, we agreed.

I went to sleep that night fully expecting to dream about dancing. I dreamt about dragons doing the Foxtrot on a hill of pancakes that was being eaten by a panda. The panda was then attacked by a cat; the lizard broke up the fight then ate all the grass.

I woke up frowning at about two in the morning and stared out the slit in the curtains, listening to Ed breathing. I listened until I was lulled into a deep and dreamless sleep.

You shall not move me! –Nom–

I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes and aching feet. I hobbled downstairs, made some tea and scouted around for Ed. I found him out on a balcony high up on the castle with his right foot in a tub of steaming hot water.

"Morning." He said, gesturing for me to sit. I did so, handing him the other cup of tea I made.

He grinned and pulled out another basin of water I hadn't noticed before. He heated it up, placed it in front of me, and motioned for me to put my feet in it. We sat enjoying the peaceful morning. The peace was somewhat shattered by the noisy and yet always welcome arrival of Oryx and Al to the castle.

They rang the doorbell, and as I was too lazy to get up and go open it, I wrote a greeting and instructions on how to find the balcony on a piece of paper, screwed it up, and lobbed it over the wall. We waited for them to come up, and offered them seats when they did. We all sat in relative silence until Oryx gasped and jumped up.

"By Kal I forgot! We have another lesson an a few minutes!" She was half way out the door before she stopped and looked back at me and Ed. "Are you guys up for it?" I nodded, Ed as well. We stood up, went inside, and found our dancing clothes. After donning them we met up with Al and Oryx and Ported to the studio once more.

**Next time on Castle on a Crandom Cloud: My Karma runs over your Dogma. **


	21. Untapis

**I own the Nine Divines, in this format. **

You don't scare me! I'm terrified, scare doesn't come close!

The same soft music as the last time was playing when we reached the studio. Rhiannon welcomed us, brought us into the wood panelled room again, and began to outline today's dance.

"This one's called the Piano duck swirl." She said, I quirked an eyebrow and stored the information away for later use. "It's harder than yesterday's but I think you should be able to manage. It goes half step on the left foot half step on the right." She did an almost jumping movement, feinting forward then pulling back quickly. "Then the piano swirl." This was a complicated pattern of turns that made my head spin. She outlined each turn on a chalkboard she had brought in and set us to practising slowly.

"Full right clockwise turn, half forward anti clockwise; continue full right anti clockwise turn, half forward clockwise." I muttered, stumbling on dust particles. Ed caught me and set me on my feet again.

"Good, then?" He asked, slipping an encouraging smile in my direction, I thought hard.

"Step once left, split full clockwise right turn." We let go of each other, span, and positioned ourselves again. Ed Nodded and motioned for me to continue as Al and Oryx flowed by like a river.

"Um, step forward, then right…Uh, half clockwise turn on the spot, split double anticlockwise spin, right jump." I stumbled on the jump and ended up on the floor. I pulled myself up using a wall and smiled sheepishly at Ed, he smiled amusedly.

"Good work!" Rhiannon said loudly directly behind me, I jumped in surprise and fell over again. "Keep at it you're doing wonderfully." She smiled and walked back to the front again. Ed held out his hand to me, I took it and he pulled me up, we set off again.

"Full right clockwise turn…"

I think I just poked myself in the eye with my burrito.

Oryx swirled around the room with Al, past Rhiannon standing observing all, past Ed helping Frog up again, around and around in a never halting circle. Oryx stared into Al's eyes, sucked into their depths. They swept around the room, silently.

My thumb is stuck to a star.

We left that evening with a spring in our step, pleasantly tired from the day's learning. My dreams that night were of flying birds and soft tinkling bells.

Are you sure you haven't just glued a Piskie to your ego and licked it?

I got up bright and early the next morning, felt the burning in my muscles, and almost collapsed. I caught myself on the bed and summoned the strength to stand once more. I hobbled over to Ed's bed and shook him awake. He stretched, winced a little, and stood up and ran out of the room. He came back in holding two cups of greenish tea, smiling happily.

"Al and I discovered this when we were training, it's great for sore muscles." I smiled gratefully and poured the drink down my throat. Almost straight away the aches started fading.

I stood up, put the cup down and caught Ed in a happy hug. We ate breakfast, or more accurately, Ed ate breakfast while I drank more tea. We were just starting an argument on the value of the colour red in every day living when Al and Oryx burst in.

"We just got a message from Rhiannon!" Oryx shouted, waving a piece of paper. "She wants us to come in immediately because the new thing she wants to teach us is going to take all day! Maybe more!" We rushed around getting ready and went straight to the studio.

The dance Rhiannon wanted to teach us was the Polka of hummer snakes and it was very difficult. It was a combination of every single move we had made so far with other things thrown in.

The day was a muddle of twirling and bruises and that night all my dreams had something to do with dancing rabbits. We had made some headway into the dance that day, but when we got into the studio the next morning you would never guess it.

We decided to adjourn for the day when I almost killed Ed with a falling mirror. The rest of the morning was no better; Jed seemed to be in a foul mood. I went for a walk in The Forest and was almost crushed by a falling tree, I tried to bake cookies, and set myself on fire. I didn't dare go to the library or Oryx and Al's place, so I couldn't find out what was going on. At ten fifteen Oryx burst through the door of my padded cell.

"Frog!" She yelled, tripping over me. "I just figured out why we've got such terrible luck. Jed's in a bad mood 'cause he's being punished for letting us miss Dionius' day!" I gasped and pulled out my pocket calendar to check.

"You're right! It was two days ago! We must make it up to the gods!" Oryx nodded and helped me up. We ran to the shrine rooms, discussing how we would go about apologising.

Dionius' shrine was dusty and forgotten looking, as we usually cleaned them on the god's day. We apologised to Dionius and started cleaning up his shrine. Oryx dusted and polished the alter and limestone pieces while I filled up the angel tears bowl and made a new salt blessed seaweed wreath with the salt from the bowl of tears. We left the whole room gleaming and went to Jed's shrine.

His was in better condition as I was head Jedethian and it was a duty of mine. We scrubbed the alter, rolled the dice, and worshiped the lumpy of epic win. After this we realised that we hadn't been to the other god's temple rooms in a while, so we turned the day into a Nine Divines worship day.

We cleaned all of the Alters and left gifts for the gods, leaving Kallannya for last as hers would take the longest.

We visited Wengae's shrine first. I told him about the goings on in Soaring Leap's pack, one of the pups had died of snake bite, while Oryx sharpened the hunting knives and polished the bow and arrows.

We gave freshly picked flowers, lilies, and perfume we made ourselves to Bethmora.

We visited Sindella and left her some fresh healing herbs and some steaming water.

Leora was next on our list, we trimmed the vines that grew on the walls in her room and put some fresh earth into her clay pots.

We re-arranged the Roc feathers in their mountain rock pot for Gallthrope and Oryx left a carving of the bird that Al had done with Alchemy.

Kraton had the second largest shrine room, which was good for what we did. We lit a large bonfire in the centre of the room and circled it, chanting quietly.

It was about three o'clock when we walked into Kallannya's room. Her alter was more than three times my height, standing at six metres, and made entirely of deep black Jet. Oryx and I scrubbed all the dust and candle wax off the alter, using a ladder for the higher parts, and brought in new candles of abyss black and the green of new leaf.

Oryx placed the clay circle with a Celtic knot inscribed on it reverently on the Alter as I lit the candles. We were lying collapsed and exhausted on the couch by the shrine rooms when Oryx jumped to her feet.

"The party's tomorrow!" She yelled hysterically. I tilted my head to the side as Oryx ran out of the room screaming her head off. Just after she left Ed walked into the room, rubbing his head.

"Did I just hear Oryx?" He asked, looking around. I nodded, standing up and walking to the window.

"Yeah you did, she was helping me clean the shrines. She ran out screaming 'cause she had forgotten that the party was tomorrow." Ed walked across the room and stood next to me.

"To be honest I forgot too." I laughed and watched a bird fly past the window. A snowy owl with a letter clutched in its beak. Ed and I watched the sun set, read a book each, and went to bed with an air of expectancy about us.

**This was a bit short.**

**Next time: Frog cracks a hard nut. **


	22. Verdure

**I do not own Amelie, FF7, or The Immortals. Or FMA. **

Oranges! Penguin! Eagle! Newt!

The morning was bright and fresh, birds singing and dew shining on the leaves. I threw some seeds to the pigeons and some chicken to the crows as I sat on the wall of the balcony outside the library. I dusted the seeds off of my hands and took a sip of my mug of tea. I sat up on the wall until my mug was empty and the birds had gone, then I went inside to find something to do.

As I walked through the library a book bound with red leather and gold engravings caught my eye. I climbed up a nearby ladder, propelled it over and slid the book off the shelf. It wasn't a book about Alchemy, or the natural world, which was the section it was in, nor was it a story. The front of the book was inscribed with a single gold symbol, one I had never seen before. I flicked through the book, still at the top of the ladder. The whole thing was written in similar symbols.

It wasn't Japanese, or Greek, or Russian. I could tell that by looking. I climbed down the ladder and walked over to one of the many tables placed around the library. I set the book on the table next to a stack of notepads and a pile of pencils, and went off in search of useful books in the language section of the library. Through a lengthy and boring process I identified that it was not a known language.

Deciding that it was a code I returned the language books and went in search of books on codes and breaking them. Keeping the useful ones opened to relevant pages I started counting the characters and writing down the new ones and how many there were in the first page.

In doing so I was able to identify the symbol that translated into an 'E'. The letters 'T', 'I', and 'A' were next, then I looked for easily completed words, which then gave me more clues. I sat at the table copying and re writing until I had deciphered the whole first page. When that was completed I wrote up a glossary of symbols, then I read through the first page.

'_What follows in these pages is a true account of my dealings with the many Hidden Beings of our world. They are hidden, as the name suggests, from the sight of most people, those with hearts full of greed and hate. But they can show or hide themselves to or from anyone. Though if someone chooses not to see them and decides with all their will that they are not there they can do little. They are beings of magic, Faery, The Fey, little people, Gryphons, Dragons, and other fantastical creatures.' _

I put the paper down on the table and rested my head in my hands, unsure of whether or not I should keep reading.

Many books in my library claimed this kind of thing, but none of them had proved accurate and I had moved them to the fiction areas. The only way to find out was to read. I pulled the paper back towards me.

'_The experiences I have had with these beings have not all been pleasant, some are mistrusting or territorial. I have also found that a number of Folk tales and Children's stories contain a grain of truth. In my search for the truth I have travelled to many lands, in fact next month I am going in search of a forest said to house many fantastical beings. Though I am unable to get a description of the inside contents or a definite location. I have just heard from a very reliable source that it is near a castle of great proportions_. _I have been unable to determine the location of the castle. People claim to have seen it, but the pattern of sightings is really quite unbelievable; if connected they form a zigzagging path all over the world. The castle would have to be moving at all times._'

The page ended and I sat staring at it with wide eyes. The screech of a bird snapped me out of my reverie and I began furiously translating the next page, then the next, and the next until I had the whole book written out. I was reading it when Ed walked into the library.

"Have you been in here this whole time?" He asked, I looked up and nodded.

"Ed, can you help me with something?" I asked he nodded.

"Sure." I held up the book and pointed to the symbol on the cover.

"Do you have any idea what this is?" Ed looked at the book for a moment, and then nodded slowly.

"It's an Amestrian symbol, we had an old language that died out, but Al and I both learnt it from teacher. That symbol means Hope." I nodded and wrote it at the top of the first page.

"What time is it?" I asked Ed.

"Four thirty. Oryx sent me to find you to ask if you'd like to help decorate the castle for the party." I jumped up, nodded.

"Yeah I want to help! Let's go!" We Ported to the castle and Ed led me to the hall that Al and Oryx were using for the party. Oryx was standing in the middle of the room when we arrived, tangled up in white string. I walked over and started pulling on the string.

"What did you do?" I asked Oryx, she shrugged.

"I was trying to cut some and we got into a disagreement." I sighed and pulled out a knife.

"Hold still while I cut you out of this." I started cutting the string.

"Hey Al, do you want some help with that?" I heard Ed call.

"Yeah, thanks brother." I cut the last bit of string and Oryx sprang up, shaking off bits of string.

"That's better!" She said loudly. She picked up one of the lengths of string I'd cut and ran over to where Al was standing at the top of a ladder holding up on side of a banner.

She climbed up and handed him the string, which he then used to affix the banner side to the wall. I sifted through the string until I found a piece that was about the same length as the one Oryx picked. I walked over and climbed up the ladder that Ed was standing at the top of, holding the other end of the banner.

"Here Shorty." I handed him the string piece. He growled and snatched the string from me. We climbed down and stood back, surveying the banner. It was merely decorative, with no words, but it added to the ambience of the room. We put up a few more things and set up tables, chairs, cutlery and such, as it was to be a dinner as well. After which I ported back to the castle with Ed to get ready.

Why is the sun setting over there?

Oryx straightened up one of the blue rimmed plates and sighed distractedly. A few guests had started to file in. The muffin man was sitting next to Amelie, (Amelie) who was eating an apple. Aeris (FF7) was petting an orange tabby.

Oryx stood with Al near the door greeting the guests as they came in and directing them to sit wherever they wished. When Frog and Ed walked in Oryx waved and directed them to some seats near the head of the table. Ed was wearing a suit and a bored expression.

Frog was wearing a red tank top with leaf shaped pieces of a light red gauzy material attached to the shoulders, and a black ankle-length skirt. When she moved Oryx saw her ankles and wrists flash gold and heard a faint tinkling. Her hair was down and it looked messy, like always, somehow her blue-grey eyes that were usually like mist over the ocean now seemed almost green.

They sat down and Frog immediately struck up a conversation with the person sitting next to her; Numair (The Immortals). Dinner contained many different cuisines; it was set up much like Hogwarts, though without the food magically appearing, guests could just serve themselves a meal of their liking.

There was no set ending time for dinner or the party in general, so dinner stretched on. Frog started to fidget; she squirmed in her seat like an impatient five-year old. Ed reached around Numair and poked her in the side of the head; she snapped her teeth at his finger, glaring testily. Oryx smiled and stood up.

"So now that everyone is nourished shall we begin the next part of the even?" A few nods and an exuberant cheer from Frog answered Oryx's question. The guests stood up and watched as minions cleared away the tables.

Oryx gestured to the band, who struck up with a cheerful tune. Drinks and snack tables were set up along the side of the Hall, a few people walked onto the crystal paved dance floor, including Frog and Ed. Oryx felt someone tap her on the shoulder and looked up into Al's smiling face. He led her onto the dance floor and they whirled the rest of the night away.

I am Jesus the Janitor!

I woke up late the next morning, really late. I rolled out of bed and stumbled blearily into some clothes. I ran my fingers through my hair as I walked down the stairs then, wincing as my fingers snagged a particularly large knot, I caught my foot in my pant leg and tumbled down the stairs. I pulled myself up with the banister and brushed off my pants.

A stinging sensation made me look over at my arm; blood was welling up out of a scratch on the top side of my left wrist. I stared at it for a few seconds while trying to remember where the First aid kit was. I eventually remembered that it was in the third shelf up of the second bookcase in the entrance Hall and ran off to get it. I examined the cut, Kit open on my lap, and decided that it was too big for a Band-Aid.

As this was the limit of my First Aid training (Though I can take care of snake bite, pretty well.) I was stumped as to what I should do next. Rooting around in the bag I found a small plastic packet, 'Waterproof Bandages Large' I opened the packet, spilling the contents all over the floor in the process, and picked up a small white square. I stuck the bandage over the cut and tidied up the First Aid kit.

I went into the kitchen, only to find that for once Ed was not sitting at the table eating breakfast. I walked back up to the bedroom, thinking that I might have missed him on my way downstairs. I hadn't, when I got back up the stairs the room was empty. As I stood in the doorway Hayashi jumped in through the open window, landing on Ed's bed. Suddenly curious I walked over to the window and looked out.

I scanned the open ground outside the castle and seeing nothing I began scanning the treetops as well. I was interrupted from my search by Hayashi's ringing yowl. I looked over to my right to see Hayashi pawing at the windowsill, on closer inspection I found a small dent in the wood-like ice that made up the sill, as if someone had given it a large knock. Now that I came to think on it, who opened the window in the first place? It might have been Ed but he would have closed it when he left the room surely.

I snuck a look at Hayashi, not him; he wouldn't leave the window open either. Hayashi gave what I assumed to be an encouraging meow and jumped out of the window. I pulled the window shut after him, leaving a small gap at the bottom, and looked around the room.

Nothing looked out of place, so I assumed that nothing was. It occurred to me that Ed might have gone out so I went downstairs to where he usually hung his coat and put his gloves, they were still there. I sat on the stairs, trying to think of other places he could be, I pulled a match out of my pocket lit it and held it above my head.

"The library!" I said to no one in particular, and ran off to the library.

**Next time: Frog sends some smoke signals.**


	23. All Hallows' E'en

**Welcome one and all. Happy Halloween! Here follows a completely unrelated Halloween special! This relates in no way to the chapters either side of it. I wrote this over two days and ten or so hours. So it may not be so polished.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Nightmare before Christmas, I do however own Hamael. Read on! Onwards! Go forth! Get on with it!**

**Army: Yes! Get on with it!**

"Oh my dear Jed!" This exclamation was followed by a loud and hysterical scream that I am almost sorry to say came from me. Ed looked up from feeding the fish in the pond as I tore down the cloud towards him. "Do you have any idea what day it is tomorrow?" I screamed, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking.

"Uh, Monday?" He asked rubbing his ears.

"No it's not Monday! It's Halloween! All hallows even!" Ed, wincing from the volume at which I was speaking, took a step back.

"Okay then. And why does this mean that you have to make my ears bleed?" I stared at him for his craziness, he stared back.

"Because I decided that I was going to go visit Peanut this year. And I was going to tag along when she went trick or treating. And do you know what you need when you go trick-or-treating?" Ed shook his head. "A costume! Okay Ed! You need a costume!" Ed took a further five steps backwards and in doing so walked into the fish pond and fell down. I ran over and pulled him up.

"What's with the yelling?" He yelled.

"I'm sorry! I just don't have a costume and Halloween is my favourite holiday after all." I said, looking down ashamedly at the ground. Ed sighed.

"I'm sure we can find you a costume somewhere. Come on." I looked up and grinned.

"Yay! But where could we find one? Maybe Oryx'll have some." I dragged a still dripping Ed off in the direction of Oryx and Al's castle.

How many times have I told you not to do that?

_Once, including just then._

"Well sure I've got costumes! Come on in!" Oryx greeted us enthusiastically when we knocked on the door. "Al's feeding the cats down in the room, do you think you could go give him a hand Ed?" Ed nodded and wandered off to find his brother. "I keep the costumes in a workshop up near the top of the castle, follow me." Oryx said and led me over to a small door next to the stairs. She pressed a small silver button and the wall slid open to reveal a futuristic elevator.

"Cool trick." I said.

"Isn't it just?" We swept upwards and came to a smooth stop with a small ding. The doors slid open and Oryx prodded my gently out of the elevator and into a veritable treasury of cloths and sewing machines. "This is the studio!" Oryx said dramatically, sweeping her arms out wide. We proceeded to browse through the costume racks.

"Hey Oryx look at this one! It's a chicken!" I laughed throwing her the yellow feathered suit. She threw it straight back at me.

"Look at this! It's a frog! Oh and there's a whale underneath that!" We had fun riffling through the costumes for over an hour. By the end we each had a costume picked out for ourselves and Al and Ed. I picked out a green pickle wearing sunglasses and a blue cape, and a spotty dog costume for Ed. Oryx decided on an entirely purple outfit herself, with a fake unicorn horn and eye patch for Al.

"This is perfect! Now all that's left is the party, just a small one mind." I declared as we rode the shining elevator back down to the ground level. "Do you think Jack would come?" Oryx shrugged. "I'll call him via mirror and ask." I handed my costumes to Oryx as she walked off to find the boys. I went into one of the bathrooms scattered around the castle and tapped three times on the silver rimmed mirror there. My image distorted and rippled to be replaced by another one. A room looking out over a town I knew well, dark lopsided buildings along a cobbled street leading to a square with a fountain spewing lurid green water. A short trill erupted from the mirror when the surface cleared and a small creature wrapped in bandages stuck its head around the door.

"Jack! Jack, someone's on the mirror for you!" It called and ran off, still shouting, to get Jack Skellington, King of Halloween. He swept into the room, looking harassed. I waved cheerily, he stared gloomily back.

"Hey Jack, how's life treating you?" Not waiting for an answer I ploughed on, "So I was wondering if you'd like to come to this little All Hallows Even get-together I was planning." He glowered at me.

"You're not serious are you?" The light dawned and I laughed.

"Whoops sorry Jack, I sort of forgot. You've got your own Halloween party to plan." He nodded.

"Yeah, and your crazy friend to look after." I quirked an eyebrow and he sighed. "Just look." Jack pulled the mirror off the wall and walked gently over to the window. I gasped. Peanut was running in erratic circles around the fountain, or I assumed it was Peanut, I couldn't really tell as she was dressed in flowing tattered black robes. She made it one more lap on the fountain, cackling evilly, but ran headlong into the ladder that Kyo was standing at the top of, trying to fix a banner to the town hall's roof. He fell down to the ground, the ladder coming with him, and landed on top of Peanut. Jack shifted the mirror and looked into it again.

"See?" He said, frowning. I nodded thoughtfully.

"Well after this go and tell her I'm having a party tomorrow morning and she's invited. Oh, and I have that costume for Mimili we've been looking for. She should leave at some point after that." Jack looked like 'some point' wasn't soon enough but he took what he could get and nodded.

"I'll tell her, have fun partying." I smiled.

"You too Your Highness." I tapped the mirror again and Jack's somewhat shocked reflection vanished to be replaced with my own. I spun around and ran out of the bathroom in search of my three cohorts. I found them in the room reserved for their cats amidst a small ocean of animal feed bowls and hungrily mewing animals. Al was desperately trying to fill as many bowls as he could while Oryx fended of the small writhing balls of fur. Ed was watching them from under about fifty cats. Most of them were curled up and sleeping, some were sitting watching the unfolding drama with vaguely interested expressions. One of them was staring intently at me from the top of Ed's head. I stared back at it, blinked, and burst into laughter. I bent double, holding my stomach and trying not to squash any cats under me as I collapsed.

"What the heck is so funny? You could at least give me a hand!" Ed yelled angrily from under his blanket of felines. I pulled myself together somehow and walked carefully over to him. I coaxed off the cats that were conscious and lifted the sleeping ones gently to the floor. Ed stood up brushing cat hair off of his clothes.

"Let's get Oryx and Al out of here too." I said stepping cautiously over cats to reach the two.

"How're you doing?" I said loudly over the constant cries of hungry animals. Al nodded frantically and Oryx said nothing, knocking a cat off of its feet with a long thin pole.

"Come on! I have a better idea!" I grabbed Al and pulled him through the crowed, relying in him to grab Oryx, which he did. I raced over to one of the cupboards and pulled it open it was full of duplicates of the troughs that Al and Oryx usually used for water. I gestured for them to help me and started trying to move one of them out. Everyone latched onto a corner and pulled until we had the trough in the middle of the room.

"This should do." Ed said having caught onto my plan already. I nodded and held out my hand for the food. Al gave me the first large bag and I held it out to Ed. He transmuted it open and I poured it into the trough. Five bags later we scrambled out of the room, scratches stinging and covered in food and cat hair.

"Well I'd say that was a success." I declared, Oryx smiled and high-fived me.

"So would I. I left the costumes in the other room just off of that hall over there." I thanked her and went to get them.

"So we'll se you at the party tomorrow at about twelve?" Oryx and al nodded. I clapped excitedly and Ported with Ed out of the castle.

Bread and ducks.

"I am the who when you call who's there! I am the wind blowing through your hair!" I sang as I swung from a rope attached to the Hall ceiling, in full pickle costume.

"Come down from there and help me with this… this… thing!" Ed yelled, also in full costume only as a dog, holding the top part of a three metre long at least scythe off the ground. I swung backwards and forwards a few more times and let go of the rope at the height of the next arc, floating to the ground with the aid of my Elemental Staff. I snatched up the other end of the scythe and helped Ed carry it to the other end of the hall and lean it up against a speaker that was taller than me, Ed and the scythe stacked on top of a small ant. Next to the enormous speaker was the television that was just as tall and yet another speaker. Three times the length of the television away, at the other end of the Hall, sat nine lounges of varying colours, twelve footrests with clawed legs, and sixteen beanbags.

"How many people are coming to this thing?" Ed asked, counting beanbags.

"Only Oryx, Al, Peanut, Stephen, Kyo, and Momiji." I replied, he raised his eyebrows.

"You need all of those for eight people?"

"Of course!" I nodded sagely, "Why else would I put them there?" Ed rolled his eyes and sat down heavily on the deep red middle couch and closed his eyes.

"Don't you have decorations to put up or something?" He said, I nodded slowly and walked away looking back over my shoulder as I did. Ed had a hand thrown across his eyes, as if shielding them from a bright light. I waved my hand, nothing happened so I waved it again, the curtains closed and the lights dimmed. I hung up a few more spider webs and threw a box of silver dust around the doorway as the rest of my decorations. I walked back through the dark room and sank onto the lounge next to Ed.

"How doth it go?" I asked quietly, he shifted and I saw his dark outline turn and face me.

"Fine. Thanks, for the lights. My head's pounding for no reason."

"Would you like a banana? It might help." I offered him the yellow fruit. Ed paused for a moment, then took the banana.

"Thanks, I think."

"No problem!" He ate the banana and a minion appeared, landing on my head, and took away the peel. The darkness pressed in on my eyes, I brought my bare feet up off of the floor and tucked them under me and leant slightly to the side in order to do so.

"Ow! Son of a-!" I heard a crash and a yell in the room behind me and clapped my hands to turn the lights up a little. A small glow returned to the room and I turned around to find Peanut lying under a ladder that had fallen on her. She was wearing a skeleton costume and a pinstriped suit with a bat bowtie. Behind her were Kyo, dressed as a rat, Yuki, dressed as a cat, and Momiji, without a costume.

"You guys came!" I yelled, racing over, "Happy Halloween!"

"To you too!" Peanut said chirpily. Kyo glowered slightly and Yuki looked impassively angry, if that was possible.

"Did Jack tell you that I found the costumes? They're perfect!" I reached into a small plastic bag underneath the lounge and pulled out two costumes; a green frog and a rabbit covered with ribbons and sparkles.

"He mentioned it." Peanut said as I handed her the clothes. Without saying anything she threw the rabbit costume to Momij. "Stephen went home for Halloween for some reason."

"Well alright then, we're just waiting on Oryx and Al and we can get this party started!" When I declared this the lights flashed on brighter than ever and quickly dimmed down to almost darkness. A small spotlight centred on Peanut as she weaved carefully over from where she was standing and sat down on the green lounge to my left, Kyo and Yuki had a small silent battle over the white one to my right with Yuki winning. Not that it mattered anyway; all of the lounges were really in the middle of the screen it was so big.

"Hey Peanut, why are you dressed like Jack?" I asked, she shrugged.

"It was all I could come up with on short notice. And Jack agreed to let me have his suit if I left Halloween Town. Sally altered it for me." She beamed happily. Thunder echoed through the Hall and we all ducked a little. Oryx and Al appeared in the middle of the Hall in a burst of black smoke.

"Hey guys! Come have a seat!" I called, Oryx; dressed in her vibrant purple and Al with his eye patch and horn. They sat down on the indigo couch next to the green one on my left. Peanut sat down on our red couch next to me. Momiji had stretched out quietly over the orange and black striped lounge over near the west end of the Hall. I picked up a thin silver remote and pointed it at the screen. It flickered into life and a title swam into view 'The Cullen Ditch project.' I giggled when the title screen appeared, making Ed, who was still sitting next to me, turn and look at me again. I couldn't see him but I could tell that he was looking at me strangely. By halfway through I was laughing outright, with Peanut, Oryx, and Momiji laughing along with me. By the end of the video even Kyo was chuckling, Yuki smiled a little. I was lying on the floor, having slipped off, holding my sides.

"It hurts Peanut, it hurts." I complained, Oryx, lying on the ground next to me nodded in agreement.

"Oh it does."

"The pain! The pain! The terrible awful pain!" Peanut shouted, rolling around on the floor, I flicked a mango at her.

"And now that that's over we can begin this evening's main attraction!" I said spectacularly, standing up and climbing onto a footstool. "Trick-or-treating!" I squeed, pulling bags out of thin air. They were black, blue, or purple, and decorated with sparkly silver bats. Kyo, Yuki, and Momiji looked a little confused, Oryx, Al and Peanut looked like I just handed them the keys to the magic doorway to magic land or something, and Ed looked sceptical.

"Trick-or-treating? The point of which is what exactly?"

"To go 'round and get lollies from strangers duh! It's the one night of the year when you can all but ignore the stranger danger rule." I jumped down off the footstool and headed towards the door. "Let us go forth into the deep night!" I declared and Ported us all to the forest that Peanut and I had our secret headquarters in. I ran off through the trees, Peanut at my side, and the others followed. We burst out of the trees and into a cemetery.

"We made it! Now to sally forth in search of sugar and Ninjas!" I cried and led the way through the tombstones and out of the tall iron gates. The dark streets were lined with costumed people. We walked past a mummy and a goblin on our way to the first house. I knocked on the door and it was opened by a middle aged man wearing a black suit.

"Trick or treat!" I said happily, holding out my bag. He looked at us with a bored look on his face and tipped a chocolate bar into each of our bags. I thanked him and wished him a happy All Hallows Even as he closed the door. The next house yielded a more plentiful booty of sugary snacks, especially as I used Momiji as my main front. By this time he Kyo and Yuki were getting the idea of Halloween and having a little fun.

"Trick or treat!"

"Trick, I have nothing to give you, forgot this year." I cheered.

"Finally!" I pulled out a carton of eggs and started throwing them at the guy who answered the door. Most of them bounced off him, but he managed to catch a few.

"What, did you hard boil these?" I shook my head.

"Nope, they're rubber. But I sure had you scared!" He laughed and threw the eggs back at me. I collected them and we sauntered back down the concrete pathway.

"Did you see that house back there Ed? Did you? It was so cool! There were like ghosts and everything!" Momiji babbled as we walked away from our seventh house.

"It's nice to be back down here, do we recognise anyone?" Oryx asked me as we strolled down the pavement. I had been thinking similar things myself.

"I don't know, I haven't seen anyone but you never know…"

"Hey look over there a haunted house!" Momiji pointed, we stared at the creepy looking mansion-like dwelling in silence for at leats three seconds.

"Finally a way to prove who has more guts! Whoever stays in longest's the bravest!" Kyo shouted and dragged, indirectly, everyone over to the house. He snatched Yuki, whom I grabbed, I in turn was grabbed by Oryx, Al took a hold on her and Momiji, Peanut just grabbed Al and got pulled along, towing Ed behind her. We lined up at the entrance to the haunted house and walked through the door with a growing feeling that this wouldn't go well. Kyo was very competitive and Yuki looked almost like he would go along with it for once. It wasn't really all that scary, a few people jumped out and yelled and that made me jump at the unexpectedness. Near the end we got fed up with the attempts at fright and decided to scare one of the supposed monsters. When they jumped out we all yelled "Boo!" back as loud as we could. It worked; they jumped thirty centimetres in the air and ran off shrieking. We left the haunted house laughing and walked back to the oath.

"That was the most fun I've had scaring someone, like, ever!" I said.

"Did you hear that guy shriek? That was hilarious!" Kyo said, grinning evilly. I nodded, chortling.

"We should head back in a couple more houses, it's getting late." I said. It was too, I looked at my watch; half past ten. We were walking away from our twelfth house of the night when a black blur swept into the middle of our group, snatched hold of me, and sped off again. We stopped in an alleyway between to houses. I hit out at the silent assailant but he grabbed my hand and held them together, spinning me around. Form here I could still see my friends, standing in a confused looking group. As I watched four more black clad people bored own on them and began attacking them with cold precision. They moved so fast I could barely se them. Yuki was the first to go down; the guy delivered a swift chop to the neck that had him sliding to the ground within seconds. The rest of my friends were dealt with in the same efficient way.

"They used to be my teammates." My mysterious kidnapped said quietly, "We were hired by some men a month or so ago and ever since then I've had a feeling that they were all changing for the worse. They're looking for you, and when they look for something they find it. Until now." He looked down at me, I stared right back at him. "Now why are you so important hm? Why you?" As I looked into his calculating green gaze I wondered the same thing.

"Who are you?" I said quietly. My attacker, or saviour, pulled away his mask and revealed dusty red hair above his green eyes. His face reminded me of a tiger; a slow kind of stateliness resided there, along with a great intelligence. He didn't look all that much older than me, no more than a few years, but I felt a great chasm of experiences lay between us.

"My name is Hamael." The boy said, extending a hand to me, I raised my eyebrows at him and he dropped his hand.

"What's with your teammates beating up my friends Hamael? I was kinda using those ones." I said, he looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Like I said before, we were hired by some men a while back. I didn't do much with them before now, they had us training for most of the time up till now."

"That doesn't answer my question. What did these men want?" Hamael shrugged.

"They wanted you. Why they did I have no idea." I nodded slowly.

"Will your friends leave so that I can get on with my life or do I have to begin a life on the run now?" I asked half jokingly. Hamael nodded.

"They'll wait around for about ten minutes then they'll go back to our employers and tell them they couldn't find you where you were supposed to be."

"Thanks for helping me Hamael. Judging from the ease with which they took out Yuki I'm guessing that you guys are all very well trained. Though you fail at being a ninja by showing yourselves at all."

"We're some of the best, if I do say so myself. We've all been fighting since we could walk. And if we chose not to be seen you wouldn't see us."

"Really? That must be a conversation starter."

"You'd be surprised how little conversation that starts."

"Well it started this one. But, moving on; how did you know I was going to be here at this time anyway?" Even we didn't know we were going to be here.

"We have sources. Look, they're leaving. I should go too, they'll be wondering why I wasn't with them."

"Thank you again so much Hamael. No one does anything like this anymore. Which is sad; it's cool." Hamael smirked wickedly, stepped smoothly forward and pulled my into a quick hug, slipped around the corner and vanished into the night. I ran out of the alley and back to my friend's still forms. Yuki was stirring; he sprang to his feet a moment later.

"Where on earth did you go?" He asked, "You were here, and then you vanished. What happened?" Now Kyo was back on his feet, so were Al and Ed.

"These guys attacked you all. They wanted… I have no idea. Just some idiots playing a prank or something." Oryx sat up.

"Why does my head hurt?" She asked Al as he pulled her up.

"Because we were attacked by ninjas." Peanut said from her vantage point on top of a streetlamp.

"Were you up there the whole time Peanut?" I asked, she nodded, winking at me.

"Yup, somehow I got thrown up here. I got a great view of everything going on." She slid down the trunk of the pole and landed next to me. "I vote for one more house then we all go home. What say you to that?"

"Aye!" I yelled. Everyone else just raised their hands. "Unimaginative." I muttered. We knocked on one last door and got one last block of chocolate. We strolled back through the streets to the cemetery with its creaking gate and high walled mausoleum. Once inside the forest I Ported Oryx, Ed, and Al back to the castle with me. Peanut, Kyo, Momiji, and Yuki were all staying in the secret base.

When we returned to the castle I snatched Ed's bag out of his hands.

"No more sugar for anyone tonight. We need sleep now. We can gorge on sugar tomorrow." I wrote Ed's name on a sticky note and slapped it on the bag which I proceeded to hang from the ceiling with my own.

"There, now off to bed with you. Goodnight Al, Oryx!" I waved cheerily at the two of them as they walked out the castle doors.

"See ya tomorrow!" Oryx called back.

I plodded up the stairs and changed out of my pickle costume. I sank into my bed with a grateful sigh and dreamt of sinuous tigers and cats with fur like the sun that slunk in and out of the shadows.

**Next time: We return you to you scheduled broadcasting.**

**4, 179 Words**

**DTF**


	24. Whirligig

Daisy?

_I hate daisies_

**Yes? **

"Ed!" I yelled as I ran through the rows of books. "Ed! Where in Jed's name are you!" I climbed up a ladder and started running on the tops of the shelves, jumping from shelf to shelf.

I went through the same process on the second floor of the Alchemic section and in the other floors Ed had been seen in. I didn't bother with the fiction section. I ended up back where I had started, panting and annoyed. I made one more check of the bedroom, kitchen, and Halls, before I went outside and lit a fire, using smoke signals to tell Al and Oryx to come. They walked over to me a few minutes later; Oryx was looking at a notebook and frowning.

"Why was the first part of your message an ad for 'Harry's fish joint, best in the 'verse.'?" She asked, I shook my head.

"Never mind about that, I can't find Ed anywhere!" I shouted, running around Al and Oryx in circles. I stoped running when I trod on my own toe and went sprawling. "Ow." I scrabbled up and Oryx grabbed my arm before I could resume my running.

"Now don't worry Frog, we'll find-" I cut her off.

"I am worrying!" I said somewhat shrilly, Oryx sighed.

"Where have you looked for him?" She asked me, I took a deep and steadying breath.

"The kitchen, Halls, library, dining room, bedroom, and refrigerator." Oryx nodded and looked behind her at Al, who had been quiet the whole time. He smiled weakly.

"Refrigerator?" He said quietly, I nodded, Al chuckled.

"Right." Oryx said, pulling me up. "Al you take the library, all floors. I'll take the first floor of the castle. Frog you take the second floor and any secret rooms or passages that you know of." I nodded and ran off into the castle.

You're not afraid…  


"Brother? Are you in here?" Al called into the depths of the first Alchemy floor of the library, he was answered with silence. He walked through the lofty rows of books and ended up at a small desk. It was like all the other desks in the library, it was made of a solid wood and situated so that you wouldn't kill your eyes by sitting at it.

This table was next to a window, it looked out onto The Forest like most windows in the castle. Al didn't know why he stopped at the desk, it just felt as if he should. He ran his hand over the smooth wood, feeling the minute lumps in it. A dappled cat jumped up onto the desk next to Al's hand and meowed loudly, he looked down at it.

"Hey there Kitty. What was your name again? Hattie? Herter? Herbert? Oh never mind." The cat looked up at Al with a look in its eyes that seemed almost annoyed, it nudged at his hand with a paw. It meowed again, more of a growl this time. Al looked down at it quizzically.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, the cat jumped off of the desk and took a few steps toward the door, then it stopped and looked back. Al took a hesitant step towards it; the cat meowed once more and flicked its tail in the direction of the door. "So I'm supposed to leave? Okay I'll go." Al set off into the shelves once more; Hayashi stared after him for a moment, then began to casually wash his paw.

Moo

I stood at the head of the stair case leading from the second floor down to the first. Back where I had started and not one sign of Ed anywhere. I sighed, and Hayashi walked up the stairs to sit at my feet. I knelt down and stroked his head, he clamped his teeth lightly on my hand and pulled me down the hall in a kind of half crouch. He pulled me into the bedroom, and I saw Peanut standing in the middle of the room.

"Peanut!" I yelled, she whirled around.

"I am Jesus!" She screamed.

"I can't find Ed!" I screamed back, she rolled her eyes.

"You just have to one-up me every time don't you?" She said, I nodded. "Wait, isn't not being able to find Ed bad? Like, really bad?" She asked, I nodded again.

"Just a bit." I said, a breeze wafted through the bottom of the window and blew a leaf into my face. I snatched it up and examined it.

"But this is from the deep part of The Dark Forest. What's it doing here?" I muttered, then gasped and looked up, running to the window.

"What is it?" Peanut asked.

"Piskies…" I whispered, Peanut ran across the room and stood next to me. A mass of glimmering blue bodies were converging upon the castle, eating up the distance at such a pace that we would have only minutes to prepare.

"Peanut! Find Al! Tell him what's going on! I'll take Oryx!" I screamed, Peanut dashed out of the room I ran after her and began running through the castle screaming at the top of my lungs for Oryx.

What'd I just say?

I found Oryx in an empty room on the first floor near the back of the castle. She looked up when I burst in.

"What is it?" She asked.

"The Piskies have Ed and now they're invading!" I shouted, Oryx stared at me for a few second, then walked to the back of the room and opened the window.

"Go." She said gesturing out the window.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"Go get Ed! You know where he is now, so go get him! We'll hold off the Piskies." Oryx said, she grabbed my hand and pulled my over to the window.

"I can't just leave you guys here to fight off a magical Piskie army." I protested, Oryx shook her head.

"You can and you will. Go!" She pushed me hard in the back and I tumbled out the window, landing on my back on the cloud below. I scrambled to my feet and looked back up to the window, Oryx was hanging out of it.

"See you later!" She yelled waving, and she vanished back inside. I ran around the back of the castle until I reached the side, I peeked around the corner.

"Gods help us." I whispered. The Piskies were thronging to the castle in thousands, out of The Forest. As the Forest was my destination I would have to fight through the Piskies to get to Ed. I rubbed my eye with my hand, beginning to despair.

Then my head shot up and I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a small metallic blue whistle. I looked at the whistle for a second, then threw it over my shoulder and reached into my pocket again, this time pulling out a bright purple air horn.

I blasted the air horn and the Piskies turned immediately in the direction of my corner. I shrunk back, hoping this would work. The army was almost upon me when I heard a high pitched whinny from behind me. I spun around and saw a white unicorn with a long shimmering horn standing directly behind me; I threw my arms around its neck.

"Yuki Kagayakimasu! You came!" I squealed, Yuki just snorted.

"Of course I came, you nut. Get on." He said, I ran around and attempted to climb onto his back. Yuki put up with five attempts then sighed and sunk to his knees. I smiled sheepishly and clambered on.

"Thanks." I said.

"No problem, where we off to then?" Yuki asked walking around the back of the castle, getting around the corner just as the Piskies came around onto that side. They hovered for a few moments, then continued their advance on the castle.

"We have to get into The Forest." I said quietly, Yuki tossed his head.

"You're crazy." He sighed, I stroked his head.

"I know I am, but we have to save Ed." Yuki seemed to brighten.

"A rescue mission? Well that's alright then. Let's go!" He bolted back to the corner and stopped short, nearly throwing me off of his back.

"How do we stop them from seeing us?" Yuki asked, I rummaged in my pocket and pulled out a silvery cloak.

"Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak™!" I said dramatically, throwing it over both of us. We snuck out through the horde of screeching Piskies, dodging through the shinning bodies.

"Almost there…" Yuki muttered, "And, we're, in!" I cheered and yanked off the invisibility cloak as we flew into the dark trees.

"Now, to the Piskie Glade!" I said, looping my hands through Yuki's mane as he galloped off into the Forest.

Just open it!

Ed cracked his eyes open and sat up, looking around. He was sitting on a pile of leaves in the middle of a forest clearing. He tried to get up but fell back, realising that he was wrapped in chains and missing a leg. His arm was still attached but the chains were bound in a way that made it impossible to move either one.

He struggled around on the ground, then looked up when a quiet laugh cut through the silence. The Piskie queen, Ishzusx, was sitting on her throne watching Ed struggle.

"What the hell is wrong with you lady?" Ed yelled up at her. "You just love messing around with Frog don't you? And where's my leg you old hag!" Ishzusx clapped her hands and two smaller Piskies fluttered in carrying Ed's leg.

They handed it to Ishzusx, she picked it up and turned it over in her hands, almost thoughtfully. The ethereal queen's brow ceased the slightest amount in a frown of concentration. The steel of the limb began to glow black, it hovered out of Ishzusx's hand, still glowing. It hung in the air for a few seconds, then crumpled into itself and falling to the ground. Ed let out a wordless cry of rage.

"Do you know how mad the mechanic who made that is going to be with me when she hears this?" He yelled, Ishzusx merely smiled blandly.

"The threat of escape has been neutralised." She said simply, Ed snarled. At that moment Frog charged into the clearing on a unicorn, the unicorn skidded to a stop and Frog pitched forward then whipped backwards, overbalancing and falling to the ground. She lay on the ground for a few moments then clambered to her feet, holding her stomach and coughing.

"Give…Back…Edo." She wheezed, Ishzusx smiled.

"Of course." She motion imperiously to the Piskies waiting at the edge of the clearing and they fluttered over to Ed and grasped his remaining leg. They hauled him over to Frog and left him lying at her feet. She stooped down next to him and started fiddling with the chains, they fell off after five minutes and a long yelling fit. Frog helped Ed to his feet, or foot, and onto the unicorn that she called Yuki Kagayakimasu. She made sure that he was secure before turning to face Ishzusx.

"Why did you kidnap Ed if you were just going to give him back as soon as I gout here?" She asked, Ishzusx laughed chillingly.

"So that I could do this." Ishzusx said, a ball of black magic blooming in her hand. She threw it at Frog, it hit her in the chest and she fell back onto the ground. Frog coughed a few times then stood up, brushing herself off.

"Wow, effective." She said sarcastically. Ishzusx laughed.

"More than you know child, more than you know…" Frog smirked and jumped up onto Yuki's back.

"Come on Yuki, let's blow this Tuttle stand." She said, Yuki dashed out of the clearing and through The Forest. They rode out of The Forest to see the cloud and sky deserted. Frog waved goodbye to Yuki Kagayakimasu and piggybacked Ed into the castle. Peanut and Oryx ran out of a side room when they came in. Ed used Oryx as a crutch to help him up the stairs.

"Could you give this back to Harry for me?" Frog asked Peanut, handing her the invisibility cloak. Peanut nodded and vanished into a Portal.

**Next time on CCC: Something happens that may or may not be important.**


	25. Xeme

Damned cats are held by the dog's gods. 

Ed woke up to see Frog sitting cross-legged on her bed, writing in a notebook. She looked up at him when he shifted.

"Good morning, Edward Elric." She said, a slightly disturbing grin on her face, then lapsed into maniacal laughter. She stopped laughing suddenly, muttering "Number twenty.", and smiled at Ed, who raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." He said, pushing back the bedclothes and swinging himself out of the bed, and promptly falling onto the floor. Having forgotten about his leg.

"Want some help?" Frog was standing above him, hand outstretched. Ed took it and she pulled him up.

"Thanks. Winry's gonna kill me when she sees this." Ed said, gesturing at his leg socket. Frog nodded thoughtfully.

"I'll just Port her in, she'll just think it was a dream when she gets back." Frog said. She stared at the far wall for a minute or so, making small movements with her hand every few seconds.

"That's odd," she said, eyes clearing, "she seems to have ported directly to Al and Oryx's place instead of here. Oh well." Ed smiled at her and Ported out of the castle.

-Sleeps-

Ed decided to walk back to the castle after getting a new leg from Winry. She had one at Resembool anyway so all Oryx had to do was Port it into the castle. She was convinced that this was a dream, and Oryx made a replica of the Automail so she wouldn't miss it. When Ed cleared the rise of cloud on the West he almost fell over I shock.

The castle now resembled a fortress; it had a moat and a small wall with a gate surrounding it. It was also surrounded by a small village, populated entirely by minions dressed up as different characters.

Ed slid down the slope and ran into the town. Everyone was acting perfectly normal, so Ed assumed that nothing was wrong and Frog was just being nuts as usual. He walked through the town and over the bridge, made out of two planks of wood lying side by side, to the fortress' gate.

It was guarded by two men wearing pale-green jumpsuits covered by armoured vests, dark green leather boots, and helmets of a green close to black with clear plexiglass visors in the front. The jumpsuits were decorated with all sorts of iron-on patches, a duck, a snake, and even a bowling ball. The men raised sleek silver gun-like weapons as Ed approached.

"Halt, what business do you have here?" The right one asked, Ed scratched his head.

"Umm. I live here." He said, the guards considered this for a moment, lowering their weapons to confer quietly, then they both took a step forward raising their guns again.

"Leave the premises immediately or we will be forced to shoot you." The one on the left said, Ed seethed, but took them seriously and walked away. He waited until he was outside the village limits before Porting to Oryx and Al's castle. They looked surprised to see him back so soon.

"What's going on Brother?" Al asked, standing up from his seat on the couch.

"Yeah and where's Frog?" Oryx said, walking over from the window to stand next to Al. Ed sat down in a nearby chair.

"She turned the castle into a fortress and it's surrounded by a village and the guards won't let me in. So I came here." Ed explained.

"What are you going to do?" Al asked, though he looked like he already knew what the answer was.

"I'm going to get in there." Ed said, eyes flaming.

"I'll help you." Said Al.

"Me too." Oryx chimed in.

They planned most of the night and slept fitfully for what remained. Ed woke the others up and they set out for Frog's fortress.

Carry this, and this, and this, and this, and this. Oh and that!

_I must carry on!_

"The guards change every hour or so, sometimes less. As far as I can see all of the guards wear green, but there are other coloured uniforms too." Al reported walking into the empty hut the trio had found on the outside of town.

"They're all attentive and alert." Oryx said, sipping a glass of water from the well outside. "I could only get a quick look before I had to go or risk being spotted but from what I saw the place is looking pretty hard to get into." Ed wrote all of this down, frowning thoughtfully.

"No one's standing guard in the moat." He said, "If we swim across it we can climb over the wall and in a window or something." The others nodded and they started discussing the finer points of the plan.

Damn it stand still!

_-Spins in a circle on the spot- I am. –Falls down- Ow._

Frog sat on her throne of Gice staring out the window, off into the distance seeing something only she could.

"Good my Death Munchers," She muttered, "bring terror to their hearts, and then I shall rule the skies!" She was on the verge of maniacal laughter but stopped herself just in time, sighing. "Bring me my musicians." She ordered her white robed personal assistants, who rushed from the room.

Crushed glass in his drink?

"So are you guys clear with the plan?" Ed asked Al and Oryx as they hid behind a conveniently placed bush. They nodded.

"You wade across the moat, and crawl through the ventilation ducts. You have to wade because Porting won't work. Once you're inside you find Frog. If you get caught, we… Leave you and go back to the hide-out." He finished, looking unhappy with the last point.

"Yes, and I'm going because I can do alchemy and fit through the vent." Ed said while standing up and sneaking over to the moat. He waded out into the water. It wasn't very deep; though it closed over his head for three seconds. He waded out of the water, shook himself off, and turned a fluorescent yellow.

He yelped and tried to wipe the colour off. Al gasped and Oryx giggled. She scribbled a message onto a piece of paper, they couldn't risk shouting, tied it to a rock and threw it over the water. Ed picked it up and read through it quickly. 'Your hair doesn't look any different.' He fumed, but couldn't rant like he wanted to.

The dye continued to drip off of him, even when he tried to dry and remove it with alchemy. Ed puzzled over this for a moment, then shrugged and ran over to the wall. It wasn't very tall, just enough. Ed looked around and clapped his hands together and pressed them to the ground.

A small spire of dirt shot up a small way and Ed jumped up and caught the wall, he swung over and landed in a courtyard. Once he was in he ran quickly over to one of the ventilation ducts. He swore quietly when he reached it and discovered that the duct was located at least three metres above his head. Ed looked around the yard frantically and spotted a box a few feet away he dragged it over and climbed up.

He screwed off the outside screen and set it gently to one side, aware that a guard could come around the corner at any time. He hauled himself up and into the vent and started worming his way forwards. The vent was a tight fit to start with, but it seemed to be getting smaller.

Ed kept his head down as he focused on worming inch after inch, so he never saw the steel bar coming. He rammed straight into it and bit back a curse. He couldn't move his hands enough to use Alchemy and getting around the bar would be impossible.

Ed looked ahead into the vent and saw numerous other steel bars criss-crossing along it as far as he could see. Ed sighed and started backwards when someone grabbed hold of his ankle and started pulling him out of the vent.

"Intruder!" Came the shout from outside. Ed felt someone tie his ankles together before pulling him out completely. He raised his arms and was about to push them together but two men, one on each side, took hold of him and pulled his arms away from each other.

The man on his right had trouble with Ed's Automail but his companion aided him in pulling it back and securing it behind his back. They pulled him wordlessly into the fortress and along a few identical and brightly lit white halls with no visible protrusions along the wall he could snag on. Ed's feet simply slid along the ground, the guards just slid him through the corridors.

They shoved him, still bound, into a completely concrete room and slammed the heavy metal door shut with a clang. Ed tried to wriggle the chains around so that he could use his hands but it was no use, his hands remained tied securely to his elbows.

He gave up and lay against the wall of the room, all the while theorizing about possibilities. He heard footsteps walk to his door and stop, the door creaked slowly open. A cloaked figure slipped inside and shut the door behind them. The figure moved to stand over Ed; it stood above him for a few moments, then reached up and pushed down the hood covering its face.

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

_Briiiiiiiiiiing!_

Frog grinned disturbingly down at Ed as he stared up at her in shock from the cold concrete floor of his cell. Frog pulled off her cloak and sat down on a folding chair she had brought in. Only when she removed the cloak did Edward see and take in her clothing. She was wearing loose pants in sunshine yellow and a vibrant blue shirt. Her hair was coloured purple and she had green shoes with odd fluorescent socks on.

"Welcome, Edward. You went through the moat I see." She said, twitching and motioning towards his yellow stained appearance. Edward's eyes remained locked on her for a few moments more before he pulled himself together.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled, Frog's smile grew even wider.

"That would be telling. I hope you enjoy your stay with us." She waved and strode over to the door, dragging the chair behind her, pulled it open, and slammed it shut behind her. Ed sat in silence, trying to digest that it was Frog doing all of this. The guards could be heard talking to her outside the room. Ed heard footsteps move rapidly away from his room a few seconds before his cell door opened.

Five red clad men marched in; one of them closed the door and stood guard in front of it while three of the others positioned themselves around Ed.

Two of them grabbed a sturdy hold on each of his legs while the third man started fiddling with the chains that bound them. The chains fell off of his legs and Ed struggled to kick one of the men, but the man who had undone the chains pulled something out of his pocket and whacked him over the head with it. He fell sideways and slumped into the concrete floor.

**Next time on CCC: I have a distinct feeling someone's done this before…**


	26. Yestreen

Moonlight is drowning my cat.

Ed woke up tied to a chair. He pulled at the ropes binding his arms to the chair, only to notice his Automail one was gone from it's socket, again. He swore, and looked around the room he was in. It was white, which was pretty much all that could be said.

The floor was white, so was the ceiling and all of the walls. Ed closed his eyes and attempted to think about how he was going to get out of the room. Porting was the first thing that came to his mind. He tried to Port outside the room, and didn't move an inch.

Ed swore, again. Then he remembered that he had chalk in his pocket. Luckily for him the chalk was in his right pocket, the one that was easiest to reach in the position he was in. Ed wiggled his hand inside the pocket and felt around, it was empty. Ed frowned; now that he concentrated he could feel that the other pocket was empty too. The guards must have pulled out everything that was in his pockets so he couldn't do any alchemy; even his silver pocket watch was gone.

Since that route of escape was closed Ed started to think about why he had been moved to where he was. He discarded the idea that where he was previously was just a holding cell for new prisoners; it had been secure enough for a jail block.

Then an idea hit him. He was in an interrogation room. Frog, though he was still finding it hard to believe that she was evil, probably wanted information about anyone else that was going to rebel. He thought of Al and Oryx and decided that no matter what he would never say a word.

Sure enough a few minutes later Frog walked into the room escorted by more red-wearing guards, still wearing her ridiculous clothes, though she had discarded the cloak, and an evil looking grin.

"Welcome to the Snowdome Hotel, their rooms are just perfect for interrogations!" she said cheerily, Ed glared.

"So, either you can tell me now where the others are, because there are other people in on this, I know that much. Or we can do this the hard way." Frog said, Ed rolled his eyes silently.

Frog sighed and motioned for one of the guards to hand her something they were holding behind their back, it was a funnel. Frog jammed the funnel into Ed's mouth and one of the guards handed her a bottle. The liquid inside the bottle was white, Frog shook it slightly and Ed heard it slosh around inside it.

"Know what this is?" She asked in a singsong voice. Ed didn't respond mostly because he couldn't with a funnel in his mouth. "I think you do. It's a bottle full of nice fresh milk." Ed gagged at the very word, Frog leered. "Yes, and if you don't talk all of this lovely drink is going down that funnel and into your throat." Ed shook his head, indicating that he wasn't going to talk; Frog shrugged and opened the cap on the bottle. "You asked for it." She said, and upended the bottle, pouring the entire contents into Ed's throat.

A pony!  
_No, it's a flying motorcycle.  
_Oh…

Frog removed the funnel and took a few steps away from Ed. He stayed perfectly still for a few seconds, then began to shake. He shuddered straining at the ropes, and his eyes rolled back into his head. Frog looked over at him from her vantage point and motioned to one of her guards.

"Bring me a medical dictionary, and cut the ropes when you get back." The guard ran out of the room. They came back holding a thick book and after handing it to Frog walked calmly over to Ed and cut the ropes attaching him to the chair.

He slumped to the ground and continued to twitch as foam dripped out of the side of his mouth. Frog ordered for Ed to be placed in the recovery position. While this was being done she leafed through the medical dictionary, pausing every now and then to look over the top at Ed. Eventually she stabbed a finger at a passage in the book.

"Anaphylactic reaction to allergens." She said, looking pleased with herself. "Little Eddy's allergic to milk. Hmm, but I don't see a cure." Frog called in the trauma team, who were wearing peach. They watched Ed for a few seconds, taking in everything, then sprang into saving his life. Frog watched with mild interest, and then pulled out a blue notebook and a black and gold pen.

"Note to self: Never give Edward milk again." She muttered as she wrote. The trauma team declared Ed fit and departed. Frog ordered the guards to take Ed back to the fortress and deposit him in the dungeons, then went ahead for dinner.

And how does that make you feel?

_Well I-_

You know what I'm sick of asking how other people feel! Why doesn't anyone ever ask me how I feel!

_And how does that make you feel?_

Ed woke up to a pounding head and bright fluorescent lights. He sat up, and discovered that he was chained to the wall of a cell.

Frog was sitting on her folding chair just outside the door next to a crimson clad female cell guard. The bars of the cell were criss-crossed; it was really more like a thick wire mesh than cell bars. Frog looked up from her magazine when Ed moved.

"Good afternoon." She said to Ed, and threw him an apple through the mesh of the cell. Ed looked it over thoroughly before taking a bite. It was tart and juicy, perfectly normal. She pulled a bottle out of her pocket and slipped it through one of the larger mesh holes, it was full of a white milky liquid and Ed glared.

"Don't worry it's just Banoffee." Frog said.

"Banoffee?" Ed asked.

"Yep. Banana Coffee."

Ice melts.

Al and Oryx sat behind the conveniently placed bush and watched Frog's fortress for any sign of movement.

"But Oryx," Al was saying, "Ed told us not to come back."

"So you don't want to save your brother?" Oryx asked, Al shook his head.

"No, that's not it at all."

"Well then. Maybe we can steal a uniform from one of the guards. Blend in you know." Oryx said, watching a sentry stroll past.

"That could work. Frog isn't known for her planning after all. I doubt they'd even notice us." Al agreed.

"We should send a message to someone, so they know where everyone is. Peanut maybe" Oryx said Al nodded and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil. He scribbled a quick note to Peanut outlining everything and Oryx asked a minion to take it to her at her secret base. When Oryx nodded at Al signalling that they were ready they snuck out from behind their bush and crept towards the sentry.

The moat was too wide to jump across, and they weren't about to make Ed's mistake and wade across, but they had brought with them a large plank of wood. It just stretched across the moat and Al and Oryx ran across it. Just as they both cleared the bank a guard came around the corner, Al tackled him clapping a hand over his mouth.

Oryx knocked the sentry out with the plank of wood and Al stole his clothes. They used the plank as a bridge again to carry the sentry over to their bush, tie him up, and get back across the moat. They did the same thing a few hundred metres up the wall, and Oryx got that uniform.

Neither of them really fit, Oryx's sleeves were about fifteen centimetres too long and Al's moss green pant legs had to be rolled up three times to stop them dragging in the mud. They decided that no one would really notice this, but went over the wall using Ed's dirt tower anyway.

They dropped into the courtyard and walked casually up to what looked like that main doors, they were normal sized and made of a dark wood, they had carvings of roses creeping around the edges and twining around the handles. Al and Oryx pushed the doors open and crept as quietly as they could into the fortress.

The halls were bustling like a busy marketplace, but not quite as packed as one. White robed men and women rushed every which way carrying and shouting. The halls were patrolled by more guards, only these ones were wearing blue! Their uniforms were a little more modern looking than the lookouts' were, and every single one of them was a beautiful regal blue. A few nearby guards saw Al and Oryx standing next to the door, shocked, and walked over.

"What are you two doing in here?" One of them asked suspiciously. Al and Oryx spluttered senselessly.

"What's with your uniforms?" Another asked, poking at Oryx's sleeve, she stuttered.

"Well, you see…" She never got a chance to finish the sentence. A green clad guard ran in the still open doors and stood in front of the blue guards, panting and wiping sweaty hair off of her clear visor.

"Two of the sentries have gone missing, they didn't check out or anything!" She said, looking around as she did so, as if enemies were lurking in every corner. The blue guards rounded on Al and Oryx. They seized the two by the arms and dragged them off, only in opposite directions. Oryx felt a trickle of fear seep into her stomach.

Why would they take them to different places? How had they guessed that they were the ones out of the ordinary? Frog was never ever known for her planning, so why was everything set up to run so smoothly? Oryx hadn't noticed where they were going but she came back to earth in a rush when she was thrown into a cell. The guard who brought her talked to the red-wearing cell guard for a bit before trooping off back up to the main halls. Oryx slumped against the wall and stared at the bricks opposite her, wondering what they were going to do.

**Next time on CCC: A rescue mission in undertaken.**


	27. Frohliche Weihnachten

**I am proud to present yet another completely unrelated to the chapters either side of it holiday special! I would also like to wish you all a Merry Christmas! This will have future connections with the story, just not at its current point.**

You don't understand my reasons!

_How can I? They're written in English._

"Frog, Peanut's on the mirror for you!" Ed called as he walked out of the bathroom. I nodded and walked in to take the call, and stopped short. Peanut _was_ staring out at me from the mirror as Ed had said, but what he had failed to mention was the fact that she was tied to a chair.

"Why are you tied to a chair?" I asked, Peanut smiled rather sheepishly.

"Well, Jack did it you see, I was getting too excited and he wanted to keep me away from Christmas Town."

"Why were you getting so excited?"

"Well, you know Christmas is only four days away and-"

"Wait what?" I yelled, "Christmas? But, but it can't be! I'm not ready!" I ran out of the bathroom still screaming hysterically. There was a brief silence.

"Well now what do I do?" Peanut said angrily. Jack stuck his head into the room moments later.

"Oh sorry Peanut, are you still here? You can go home now, just please stay away from Christmas town until a week after Boxing Day." He said as he untied the ropes.

Dark, light, noodles, soup.

Once Peanut got back to the headquarters she ran to the window and looked out, sure enough, it was snowing.

"It's snowing, it must be Christmas time!" She exclaimed happily. Kyo sat up from his nap on the couch.

"Um, Peanut. You live in the southern hemisphere! It shouldn't be snowin' around Christmas!" He said loudly, Peanut hit him with Momiji.

"What is the word of Santa Claus not good enough for you? What do you want, a calendar?" She said fiercely.

"Yes." The disgruntled cat muttered.

"Well too bad, I only have one from four years ago and my watch only tells me what day of the week it is. Anyway, we're going to Frog's for Christmas so it doesn't matter."

I predict… that I will make a prediction. 

I pulled a large long rectangular cardboard box from the shelf above my head and handed it down to Ed, who was standing next to the stepladder I was balancing on.

"Here's another box of lights!" I exclaimed happily, handing him the coloured box. Ed sighed deeply.

"Why are you so excited about this?" I mirrored his sigh.

"Because it's Christmas! It only comes once a year! You can give presents and put up a tree and cover it in little balls and shiny lights! It's fun! And I get to decorate stuff, with shiny lights." Al and Oryx were downstairs putting up the tree while we hunted for decorations. We had rescued Peanut and she was in the kitchen making cookies. Kyo, Momiji, and Yuki had all come with her, though Steven again went home. The three Sohmas had been set to work doing the lights outside.

"You just like the lights don't you?"

"Shiny…" Ed sighed again. Suddenly a booming bell echoed through the castle, I squeaked and fell off my stepladder.

"You know, we really should get a doorbell that's less likely to give me a heart attack." I commented. "I'll get it, you keep looking for lights." Ed nodded and picked up the stepladder. I trotted down the halls wondering idly who it could be. I pushed the handle down and pulled the door open, outside it stood a figure covered in a dark cloak and hood.

"Um hi." I said, the figure reached up and pushed down their hood and revealed a tiger-like face and clear green eyes.

"Hamael!" I cried, "What're you doing here? Come in!" I stepped back and gestured for him to step inside, he hesitated but did so and I shut the door behind him. I took his cloak and hung it on the hatstand that was now next to me and brought him into the Room where Oryx and Al were decorating the Christmas tree, Peanut was sitting on a couch watching them have a tinsel fight and eating cookies.

"Guys! Hey guys!" They stopped and looked at me. "This is Hamael, a friend of mine. Hamael, this is Peanut, Oryx, and Al." I sat Hamael down next to Peanut and Oryx and Al resumed their tinsel fight. I watched them happily until I heard a small thump from upstairs and remembered Ed I gave a small cry and ran out of the room and up to the attic type room we were in before. Ed was lying on the floor underneath a pile of cardboard boxes. I ran over and started pulling boxes off of the top of the pile.

"Ed, are you okay?" I asked when enough boxes had been removed for him to stand up.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Who was at the door?"

"Hamael. He… Well he saved me on Halloween." I explained in response to Ed's questioning look.

"Huh? What're you talking about? Saved you from what?" Ed asked, I shifted from foot to foot. I hadn't said anything about what happened on Halloween for fear of the 'sources' hearing about it and punishing Hamael or something.

"Well, when you guys were attacked, Hamael got me out before they came. Because they were looking for me, or something to do with me."

"Right, but why is he back now?"

"I don't know why he's back. He looks tired though, and he might be in trouble. Look, you tell the others when we get downstairs, they can help. Make sure you do it surreptitiously though, I have a bad, creepy feeling…" Ed nodded, I picked up some boxes and gave him a few more and we walked down the stairs. Al and Oryx happily received our lights and ornaments and set about decorating the tree and as much of the room as they could. I sat and talked quietly with Hamael, and every now and then Ed would come up with an excuse to talk to someone alone somewhere, giving me reports on progress every now and then.

"So you have no idea where you were?" Hamael said to me, looking almost amused. I was relating the story of my kidnap by muffins and then ninjas. Hamael was particularly interested in the location of the ninjas.

"Nope, none at all. They blindfolded me on the way there and I didn't really have time to get my bearings in the helicopter on my way home." He nodded. "Hamael, what are you doing here?" His face set into a hard mask.

"I'm running away from some bad people. Those men I mentioned when we met the first time."

"What happened?" He looked around the room, but no one was paying us any attention. Ed and Al were sitting by the fireplace talking with serious looks on their faces, Peanut and Oryx could be heard laughing in the kitchen, no doubt cooking up something new. Hamael took a deep breath, as if he was preparing to jump from a great height.

"The men…they…killed my team. After they'd come back from the job on Halloween." His clear green eyes sparked now with anger as he spoke. "I stayed out of everyone's way when I got back myself. But my friends' failure couldn't go unpunished." I stared at him in shock. "They would have gone after me if I'd stayed any longer. I thought this would be a safe place to go."

"It is a safe place. For anyone or anything that needs it and's willing to keep peace. If these guys come they aren't getting in. I can say that for sure. And they did come; later that night we were all woken, even Peanut who was sleeping at the castle 'til after Christmas, by a loud knocking. I pounded down the stairs, Elemental Staff appearing in my hand as I went, with Ed in front of me and Hamael and Peanut behind me respectively. We made Hamael stay behind the last corner with Peanut, out of sight. I pulled open the door and looked around it. Three men wearing white lab coats and serious expressions stood on the doorstep. One short and dark, with deep mocha skin and black hair, the second taller and pale blonde, the third a middle height with dusty brown hair and eyes to match.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?" I asked, they all nodded together and the one in the middle with black hair and an expression that made him out to be unimpressed constantly took a step closer.

"I think you can. We are looking for a renegade that we suspect to have passed through here recently, he is very dangerous and needs to be caught immediately." The tall blonde man to his right held up a photo of Hamael in a uniform that reminded me of the military.

"Nope, haven't seen him." I said. The man at the front took yet another step closer, taking the picture from the other man at the same time.

"Are you sure? He could be hiding somewhere, or disguised. He's good at hiding and lying. We really should come in and check." The men started forward but I blocked the door. The blonde man reached out a hand and pushed me back, but Ed stepped forward and blocked the way.

"I think we made it clear that we don't know that person, so if you would be so kind." He shoved at the tall man, who was propelled out through the door and straight into his comrades and they all fell in a heap. I clapped my hands and the men vanished in a puff of black smoke.

"What a strange person." I commented as I closed the door on the setting sun. Hamael came out from behind the corner, white as I'd ever seen a person go.

"You have no idea who you just annoyed." He said faintly, I snorted.

"They can't get back here; I don't know how they got here in the first place but this dimension is usually invite only. Confessed, I am being more relaxed lately, but now security is going to be tightened! And actually exist!" I said, Hamael nodded but didn't look much more confident.

"Don't worry," Ed assured him. "even if they do get in it's really easy to banish someone when you're lord and master of the entire dimension with supreme power over all that goes on within."

"Oh stop." I said, "No wait, never mind go on." Ed glowered at me, I smiled blandly. Hamael chuckled and some colour came back into his face.

"Well then, let's get back to decorating shall we?" I said, shooing people back away from the doors and upstairs. I turned to face the doors and swept my hand over them. A cheesy looking black mist settled over the doors and shimmered for a moment before sinking into the wood and vanishing.

"If they come back, that should hold. For a short time." I said quietly to myself as I ran to catch up with the others. We worked happily through the rest of the night, and the next three days. It was a blur of sparkly decorations, food, and music played as we worked. It was exhausting; but on Christmas eve when we all sat around a cheerful fire, it's name was Isda and it was grinning and chatting happily, with a huge Christmas tree behind us and leftover lights covering the room, we all agreed it was worth it.

Run away! 

"Hey everyone wake up!" A familiar voice seeped into my dream of fighting pandas.

"Shut up!" I heard Ed yell, and rolled over; agreeing with him wholeheartedly.

"But guys! It's Christmas morning!" Peanut yelled back, my eyes shot open and I sprang out of bed.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" I yelled, I ran over to Ed's bed and hauled him out of it. He groaned and stayed limp. I squatted down and hoisted him onto my back. I proceeded to run through the guest wing of the castle and yell at the top of my lungs.

"Get up!" Peanut joined me and we continued to run. I dumped Ed on the couch next to the tree as we ran past, and came back moments later dragging an annoyed looking Kyo while an exited Momiji skipped in front of me. Peanut stopped long enough to deposit a not quite awake Yuki before continuing her mad rampage. I caught Peanut as she ran past and swung her onto the ground. Oryx and Al, who were running after her skidded to a halt, and sat down.

"Thanks, I think." She said as she got up.

"Not at all." I said cheerily, snapping my fingers silently and causing a minion to appear. "If you please, would you be so kind as to wake him," I pointed at the still comatose Ed, "up." The minion, whose name was really George, nodded and walked over to Ed. He drew in a deep breath; and let it out again, mouth moving a minuscule amount. Ed's eyes snapped open.

"Who're you calling a tiny little baby bean-boy!" he screamed, George bowed politely and vanished in a puff of blue smoke. When Ed had started yelling, Yuki jerked awake and looked around alertly. Moments later Hamael walked through the door. His outfit, minus the cloak, was just as black as the one he was in the day before.

"Morning all." He said, nodding to everyone.

"Okay! Now that everyone's here, and conscious, we can start the gift giving!" I said brightly, Peanut screamed in delight and dived to the foot of the tree, she sat legs crossed facing the tree and picked up the first box.

"Edward! From Santa." She read off the label and threw the box at Ed. He caught it and pulled off the bright red paper. We all leaned a little closer as he dipped a hand inside and pulled out something silver.

"What is it? What is it? It looks shiny, can I see?" I asked, Ed stood staring at the thing in his hand for a small while.

"It's… my watch."

"What?" Al said, confused.

"My State alchemist's watch."

"Are you sure? Open it and see if it says what it should!" I yelled.

"Wait, how'd you know…?"

"I know all! And I stalk you." I smiled sublimely.

"Okay then…" Peanut picked up the next box and read the tag.

"Yuki!" She yelled triumphantly and threw it at him. The Rat caught the box, looking genuinely confused.

"From Santa to you! Yes ol' Saint Nick sure came through!" Oryx recited happily.

"Open it!" Momiji cried Yuki smiled and complied. He pulled out a letter and read it out loud.

"'Dear Yuki, I'm sure these clothes will be most useful to you. They will vanish when you become a rat and reappear on you when you transform back. Sincerely, Santa.'" We peered into the box, the clothes inside looked perfectly normal to me.

"What a thoughtful gift." I said.

"Yes indeed it is." Yuki agreed.

"Kyo!" Peanut called, throwing another box at him. He pulled it open and out fell more of the magic clothes, and, a ball of yarn.

"Is that supposed to be funny or something?" He asked holding up the ball.

"Probably." I said, and unable to control myself any longer I burst out laughing.

"Would you shut up!" Kyo yelled, throwing a shoe at me. It hit me in the head and I stopped laughing.

"Right, next present goes to; Momiji! Oh wait; this one has a note on it. 'Do not throw this one Peanut, Santa.' Okay!" Peanut smile and walked over to the ecstatic looking Momiji and handed him a large box. Inside were more of the shrinking magical clothes and a case. Momiji opened it slowly, and gasped.

"It's… it's…"

"What is it?" I yelled impatiently.

"It's a violin, handmade three hundred years ago in Italy by one of the most renowned violin makers of the age."

"Wow." I said quietly.

"Yeah… Moving on!" Peanut said, snatching the next box. "Ooh, it's for me!" She said excitedly and pulled off the red wrapping paper. She pulled out a glass tank. "A new tank for Teprac!' She exclaimed.

"That Claus sure knows what he's doing." I said happily.

"Indeed he does!" Oryx agreed.

"Next one's for you Oryx!" Peanut shouted, throwing her the box. Out came a strange looking green helmet and two lemons.

"It has a juicer on top." Ed said, pointing it out.

"But what use would that be?" Oryx asked, "What does it do?" She shook it and turned it upside down. "Hey there's a note taped inside it!" She pulled the paper out and opened it.

"'Dear Oryx, this helmet will provide you with a concentrated burst of energy and brain power. To activate it just juice on half of one of the lemons on the juicer and wait until it drains inside. Then press the big purple button on the side of the helmet and enjoy the results! Santa Claus.'" She looked down at the helmet with renewed curiosity. "That actually sounds fun." She said. Examining the helmet a little more closely Al, whom she was sitting on, looked over her shoulder.

"As if Santa would send something that wasn't fun!" Peanut said as she reached for the next box. "Speaking of which; the next box goes to… Frog!" I squeaked as a thin package hit the side of my head.

"I wonder what it is." I said.

"What do you think?" Peanut asked I shrugged, sniffing the package.

"A pony!" I burst out suddenly, and pulled off the wrapping. Under it was a calendar with 'Favourite pictures' on the front over a picture of a can of soft drink named Frell. I opened it up and flipped through it. But on the second page, February, I stopped short. The picture was of a small village square surrounded in shingle-roofed houses all painted in shades of pink and cream. In the middle of the square set into the ground was a circular golden plate strewn with rose petals. In the space under the picture a small note proclaimed; "Plaque reads; Valentine's Town." I took a closer look as the plate and spotted a golden arrow stuck into the ground above it. Without pausing anymore I flipped forward in the calendar to another month. I first went to March and was confronted a picture of a green grassy field with a small wooden signpost in about the centre with the words 'St Patrick's Town' written in golden writing. I continued on to the next month containing a major holiday, April, and found a picture of a hole dug into the side of a hill covered in golden grass. A small sign on the white picket fence surrounding it told it to be the home of the Easter Bunny. I grinned as I flipped to the other holiday months, showing them to everyone as I went.

"That's really cool!" I said as Peanut's hand hovered over the small pile of gifts under the tree.

"Al! You're up!" She threw a cylindrical present over her shoulder and into Al's hand.

"Thank you." he said smiling at Peanut, she smiled back.

"What's in it?" I asked craning my head as if by getting a new angle I could see through the paper.

"It's… armour polish…" He said, I snorted.

"No really what's in it?" Al wordlessly held up the can, and a note fell off of the bottom.

"'Alphonse, I couldn't think of anything else to get you. No I'm kidding, when Hamael goes to get his present go with him and you will find yours. I still thought this would be helpful though. "Mr. Claws"'" he read.

"Well I think it's obvious what our next course of action is." Peanut said.

"What?" I asked.

"Duh, look for Hamael's present next." She said, digging again through the now smaller pile under the tree. "Aha!" she exclaimed as she pulled her hand out clutching an envelope. Peanut handed it to Hamael and he tore it open.

"It says that my present is outside on the edge of the dark forest." He looked up from the paper. "Where's that?"

"Oh that's easy, eh. I can get you there in a heartbeat, eh. Everyone else too, eh." I grabbed Hamael and Ed and concentrated. The whole group appeared just outside the Forest. Standing a few metres inside the line of trees was a unicorn, its coat an inky black. It walked fluidly out of the trees and over to Hamael. The great dark beast bent its head and touched the tip of its horn to Hamael's forehead. Their eyes closed and all was still for a few seconds, and the unicorn stepped back and looked over its shoulder towards the dark trees. Something rustled in the bushed close to the edge, but nothing emerged, the unicorn tossed its head, black horn gleaming in the early morning sunlight.

"I think he's calling someone." I whispered to Ed, or rather, the place where Ed had been. He was now standing well back from the rest of the group, who were staring in silence at the unicorn.

"It's not the same unicorn that stabbed you." I said to him gently taking his arm to bring him closer to the others. "His name is Maion and he's really a very nice young lad." Maion jerked his head again and the bush rustled more forcefully. A small shining silver horn emerged from the bush, followed by the head and body of the most unique unicorn foal I had ever seen. Like its horn its body was a silvery-grey, though faintly spotted with small patches of white. Its flowing mane was a midnight black, but its tail was a snowy white. It had a black sock on its back right leg and a black star in a perfect circle around the horn on its forehead. I stepped forward and laid my hand on the unicorn's side, information rushed into my head and I took a wobbly step back.

"Her name is Valoel, I call her Val, she's Maion's daughter and he wants you to take care of her Al. Just until she's old enough to be taken into her mother's unicorn herd."

"Why can't she go there now?" Al asked watching the little unicorn snuffle at my hair.

"Because no one would look after her, the unicorn children are the sole responsibility of their parents, ands as her mother is dead, she can't be looked after." I stroked Val's back; she touched me head with her nose.

"Why can't Maion take care of her there?" Ed asked.

"Because he can't go there, her mother was a, excuse my use of the word, normal unicorn. The dark unicorns have a terrible reputation, and for good reason most of the time. Excluding present company." I said.

"But why can't she just stay with her dad then?" Momiji asked, coming up beside me and extending a hand to Val. Maion pressed his shoulder to mine and I nodded.

"Because Maion is going with Hamael when he leaves here." Everyone was silent, I pulled a lopsided lump of sugar out of my pocket and held it out to Val she considered it for a moment before putting her head down and ripping up a clump of grass.

"Oh so that's how it is?" I laughed.

"Wait," Hamael started forward, "I can't allow you to leave your child behind to come with me Maion." Maion shook his head violently as if shaking off a bothersome fly.

"He's coming with you when you leave, he won't take no for an answer so you'd best make use of him from the start." I informed the now silent Hamael. He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"But it feels wrong; he should be here with his child."

"He wants her to be raised in her mother's herd from as early an age as possible, and they won't take her if he had been teaching her. Al can teach her which plants to eat and not to eat. I'll help of course by compiling the information but Maion sensed a bond between Al and animals that would be perfect for this. That, and Santa suggested him." Al walked over to Maion and bowed respectfully in front of him. When Al stood straight again I could see the tears falling down his face.

"Thank you so much for this opportunity. I promise that I'll do my best to take care of your daughter." Maion nodded his head. I guided Momiji's hand to a spot Val particularly liked to have scratched and walked over to Al. Oryx had her arm around his shoulders and Ed was standing close to his brother.

"Thank you Al," I said, "Maion really wanted someone like you to take care of Valoel."

"I'm honoured, plus she's really cute!" He said happily I grinned and handed him an apple to try and feed the foal.

We walked back up to the castle with Maion and Valoel but left them outside when we reached the door.

"Who're we up to now?" I asked as we sat down again.

"We've done all the presents from Santa, there's just the one's from us to each other now." She distributed the presents and we all settled down into opening our gifts.

"Where on earth did you find this?" Peanut asked Oryx holding up a book titled; The peanut butter sandwich; from bread to plate.

"I could ask you the same question." Oryx replied holding up a small statue of a dog about the height of an average candy cane that was made entirely out of bent paperclips.

"Frog helped me get the paperclips from this guy in this book… Carrie!" Peanut explained.

"That sounds like a lot of fun guys but I have a question of my own," said Ed, "What the hell is this!" He threw a small stuffed toy at my head.

"It's one of the seven dwarves, Grumpy!" I said, throwing it back. Ed glowered at me, fuming, I laughed nervously.

"Um, what's a little joke between friends? Oryx save me!" I screamed as I ran away into the castle with Ed following after me yelling something indistinct. A few minutes later I ran into the room and dived behind a couch.

"I'm not here." I said. I heard Ed run into the room a few moments later.

"Hey Ed look behind you, milk!" I heard Peanut yell. I felt the floor shudder as Ed jumped and spun around.

"Why did that convince you?" I heard Kyo yell from the couch I was hiding behind.

"Shut up!" Ed yelled back.

"Calm down, Grumpy. Just sit down. Frog'll turn up." Momiji said brightly. I took this opportunity to ninja roll out from behind the couch and end up sitting in the exact same place as I was before I ran off without anyone noticing. Of course their obliviousness to my presence couldn't last forever. Momiji, who was closest to me, figured it out when I hit him on the head without meaning to with a solid silver cucumber that Oryx had given me.

"Oh hey Frog!" he said cheerfully and loudly, "Thank you so much for that guide to beetles!"

"I'd hoped you'd like it." I replied equally as loud, "Thank you for the bracelet." Momiji had given me a thin silver chain with a small golden chestnut leaf hanging off of it. During this exchange the room had gone silent, everyone had stopped what they were doing and was looking at us. The silence was broken by a scream.

"Cockroaches!" I shrieked, jumping up and pointing at the window, in through which a small pool of the pests was flowing onto the floor. I screamed again and hid behind Momiji, which didn't quite work as I was still taller than him. We were all stuck stationary in our spots, all of us except Hamael. He slipped out of the room and came back seconds later holding a small cube. The box shimmered as he put it down on the floor, its smooth surface rippling with a myriad of different colours. Hamael flicked open the lid and a small whirlwind formed in the air over the opening. It spun through the room, picking up roaches as it went. It swept up every one in the room, even the ones that were clinging to people, and then squished itself back into the tennis ball shaped box. We all stood stunned as the silent ninja picked up the box and stowed it in his pocket. I sank onto the ground.

"Thank Jed those things are gone. I hate cockroaches!" I declared, leaning against a cool ice wall.

"I know what'll cheer us up!' Peanut exclaimed, "Cookies! I have some in the kitchen, hold on." She stood up and walked out. She came back in a few moments later holding a small tray and set it down on the table. We sat around a table and ate cookies for a while.

"Whoa! Look at the time!" I exclaimed, looking at my watch. "Who wants lunch?"

"I do!' Peanut said,

"Me too!" agreed a few others, we all removed ourselves to the Great Hall for a light lunch. After the meal Kyo, Yuki and Momiji decided to go back home for the remainder of Christmas and everyone else decided to come and see them off. We were greeted warmly by their good friend Tohru Honda, and the house owner Shigure Sohma. It was almost hard to leave, at least for Peanut and me.

"But they have fireworks!" I complained as Ed Ported us back to the castle.

"Stop complaining and go to bed!" he said shoving me up the stairs. The remainder of the party followed suit; Al and Oryx stayed in the guest wing as well instead of going back home as they were planning on coming over for breakfast anyway.

On Boxing Day morning an echoing bell reverberated through the castle and thundered me out of sleep. I sat up and slipped hurriedly out of bed, the bell continued ringing.

"I told you we need another doorbell!" I yelled at Ed over the tumultuous clanging as we ran downstairs. I grabbed my blue coat from a hook next to the door and pulled it on over my pyjamas in case I had to go outside and it had suddenly started snowing, Ed did the same with his jacket. The bell continued its incessant ringing as I reached for the handle, but was stopped by a sheet of black fire covering the large door from floor to ceiling. By now everyone else was downstairs, Oryx and Al stood by Ed and Hamael and Peanut came to stand next to me as I focused on finding out who had decided to use the doorbell pull as a swing.

"It's those creepy guys again!" I yelled to Hamael.

"I thought they couldn't get back!" he replied.

"Yeah so did I!" I said, "The spell on the door prevents anyone from opening it though, but it can't- Oh for Jed's sake!" I clapped my hands and the bell stopped ringing. There was complete silence for a few seconds, and then the bells started up again! I jumped what felt like a meter in the air, looking around.

"What the? Oryx?" I turned around, but my fellow master of all just shrugged at me.

"What happened?" Al asked.

"They got the bell to ring, even when I stopped it!" I answered.

"But how could they do that?" Ed asked, Hamael shook his head.

"I told you didn't I? They're very powerful people. Powerful and ruthless and easily angered." he said.

"Looks like we'll just have to beat them then! But first we need to find a way to make this blasted bell stop ringing!" I said, glaring at the door and the men I knew to be behind it.

"What if we tried together?" Oryx suggested.

"Well I don't have any other ideas!" I yelled, "Ready? On three! One, two, three!" Together we raised our arms above our heads and focused our entire minds. Slowly the sounds began to ebb away. The bell gave one last defiant peal and fell silent. I dropped my arms, raising one of them again long enough to high-five Oryx.

"Nice work." She said.

"You too. Now that that noise has stopped let's brainstorm some ideas for getting rid of these fiends!" I ran off to one side and back, dragging a whiteboard behind me. "Who has ideas?" I pulled out a marker and held it poised above the surface. We paused for a minute as everybody thought.

"Beat 'em up?" Peanut suggested, I wrote it on the board.

"Banish them?" said Al, I noted this.

"Beat them up and then banish them?" Ed suggested.

"I like that plan!" I said, "What do you think Hamael?"

"I think that as long as they have breath in their bodies they will come after me, and now you also." He said.

"Well that's cheerful." I commented dryly. Now someone was pounding loud and hard on the door, almost shaking it on its hinges. I waved my hand at the door and a purple fire settled over the black one, mingling with it, and the noise cut off. "Okay, I'm not sure how long that'll last so we'd best come up with a plan." I said, Hamael nodded.

"From what I know of my former masters the dark one's mainly in command; his name's Matias and he's the most cunning and ruthless of the lot, but that doesn't rule out the other two. The blonde one, Vicente, is more the brawn of the group, but he's just as ruthless and almost cunning as Matias. The third one, Conan, doesn't seem to be overly intelligent or athletic but everyone seems to respect and or fear him. It won't be enough to just banish these guys, they'll keep coming back even more enraged."

"Oh, okay then." I rubbed our ideas off the board. "Hey wait, I've got an idea!" The purple fire was beginning to fade from the door so I spoke quickly. "It looks like they're going to break through that door any moment now, so we'd best plan for that. Hamael and Ed will take Matias, okay? Al and Oryx, can you take Vicente? And Peanut and I can take down Conan." Everyone nodded and split into the assigned pairs as we moved towards the back of the room.

"This is your plan?" Ed yelled to me.

"Do you have a better one?" I yelled back, "Look guys, we just need to get them down for a little bit while we figure out what to do with them." The doors rattled against their frame, we didn't have much time left now. "I'm going to open the doors, are you all ready?" I got nods as my answer. The more fight experienced of us, Ed, Al, and Hamael, sank into fighting stances. Peanut pulled out her dragon stone; made out of a combination dragon tooth and scale. Both ingredients were melted with dragon fire and lightning bolts, provided by Jed, and then mixed together and left to harden. She set it into her armband and sprouted leathery wings out of her back, her teeth turned into fangs and her fingernails to claws. I pulled out my elemental Staff and Oryx her Enchanted bow and quiver of arrows. I raised my hands and released the enchantment on the doors, the black fire faded and the doors slowly creaked open. The three men strode into the entrance hall. Immediately Hamael sprang forwards and caught Matias in the jaw with his foot. His blow set the rest of us off and we rushed towards our intended targets. Al fought close hand to hand combat with Vicente and Oryx endeavoured to get a shot in without killing Al. Now recovered from the early blow Matias flipped up from the floor and launched himself on Hamael. Peanut ran straight at Conan, glittering fangs bared. He barely blinked and with a careless flick of his hand he sent her flying back into the wall. It dawned on me then, the reason he commanded so much respect from everyone; Conan was a sorcerer! I tightened my grip on my elemental staff and sent a powerful gust of wind his way, but he diffused it casually. Another lethargic flick of his hand sent me flying backwards and into the far wall as Peanut had done. I crashed to the ground next to her and together we got to our feet and faced Conan again. His mouth stretched into a grotesque semblance of a smile.

"Trying again?" he said on a mocking voice, "Haven't you learnt yet? You can't beat us."

"Oh yes we can!" I yelled back at him, he just laughed and raised his arms. A ball of fire blossomed between his hands. Starting at about the volume of a tennis ball it quickly rapidly expanded until it was bigger than I was. Burning brightly like a small sun the ball of fire hovered over me and Peanut. We started to run but Conan quickly spelled us in place. The fireball began to descend on us and I strained at the invisible chains, but to no avail. Suddenly I heard Conan cry out as if in pain, the bonds loosened and the fireball hurled away into the wall to my right. Now able to move I looked around for Conan, and found him crouched over his left leg, which had one of Oryx's arrow shafts sticking out of it. I sought her out and, catching her eye, shot her a grateful smile.

"Think we can take him now?" Peanut asked me quietly.

"No, not on our own. We need backup."

"But everyone else is busy with their own bad guys." This was true; Hamael and Ed were working as a kind of tag team in their attempts to take down Matias. Al and Oryx were no freer than they; when I looked over I saw Al push Vicente hard in the chest. He stumbled back and fell over Oryx, who was crouching behind him. Conan was giving all his attention to removing Oryx's arrow.

"I know who can help us!" Peanut cried.

"Who?" I asked.

"Keep Conan busy." Was the reply, "I'll be back with help." Peanut removed her dragon stone before creating a portal and stepping through it. Just after she left Conan succeeded in pulling out the arrow. I swung my Elemental staff and sent another gust of air at him. It knocked him off of his feet and onto his back. I sent a huge jet of water next, pushing him hard onto the wall behind him. Conan rolled out of the way of my next water blast and jumped to his feet. Electricity crackled around his long fingers and I just managed to throw myself out of then way of the lightening bolt that streaked past seconds later. Next came two fireballs which I barely managed to dodge. I tried to send back my own fireball but Conan threw me against the wall again. I felt pain blossom in the back of my and my eyes went momentarily indistinct. I stumbled to my feet and staggered towards Conan only to have a hand place itself on my shoulder and stop me from moving. I looked down at the hand, then up at its owner. Standing behind me was Peanut.

"I brought help; from the Amestrian state army." I looked behind her to see blue-clad soldiers from Ed's world filing out of a Portal. Mustang was with them. Ed left Hamael holding Matias in a headlock to come and talk.

"Hello Colonel." He said, Mustang nodded surveying the battle before him.

"This young lady informed me that you needed some assistance." He said I nodded.

"Yes sir, Colonel Mustang." I said.

"Right then. First unit, take the dark guy. Second unit, the blond. Third unit, split in half and help them. I'll take this one." As he spoke he pulled on his gloves. Ed ran back to Hamael, followed by about fifty soldiers. Al and Oryx were joined by at least another fifty. Conan, momentarily stunned by this unexpected turn of events, was gearing up to fight again. Lightening pooled in his hands and a hot wind whipped around him, and then Mustang snapped his fingers. There was a short pause, then the explosion. Conan ended up on the ground unconscious with mildly singed hair and skin. Matias and Vicente soon joined him, bound tightly.

"You cannot let them escape, whatever you do." Hamael reminded me.

"I know." I said, holding a cloth to the back of my head. "What do we do with them?"

"The military could arrange for them to be executed." Mustang suggested.

"I second that." Hamael said.

"I don't know… But Hamael, since they did… such a terrible thing to you I think it only fair that you decide. But please think about this." I said. Hamael nodded, paused for a moment, then spoke again.

"I still want to see them gone from this earth, and if killing them is the only way then so be it." He then turned and walked away out the front doors into the grounds, head bent low. We bundled the prisoners through the Portal and, thanking him one last time, bade goodbye to Mustang. Noticing that the sun was coming up through the open doors I invited everyone so an early breakfast.

"No thanks," Peanut said, "I'm going to go find Hamael." She walked out the doors after him. I closed the front doors and walked with the others to the main hall for breakfast. A few hours later Peanut and Hamael returned.

"Where've you guys been?" I asked.

"Just walking around the lake." Peanut replied.

"Would you like some breakfast?" I asked, they consented. After breakfast Peanut informed us that she really should go back home.

"I'm coming too." Hamael said suddenly, I gasped and threw myself off of my chair. "I'll go to her world and travel with Maion for a while." Hamael continued.

"Will you be alright?" I asked, he nodded.

"I had to travel on my own for a while to find my way here. It's surprisingly hard to find a place no one's heard of." I laughed and nodded. Peanut opened a Portal and I called Maion. He ran into the hall carrying a pack on his shining black back, I took it off him and gave it to Hamael.

"Among other things there's a pair of boots that will allow you to cross dimensions, only when you wish. They also function as regular boots." I said brightly, Hamael smiled.

"Thank you. All of you, I won't forget the good you have done me and I will find a way to repay you." With that he made a small bow and led Maion through the Portal. Peanut gave us all a hug and ran through after him. The Portal slid closed and I looked at the place where it had been for a small while. Al and Oryx took their leave shortly.

"See you guys later!" I called after them.

"No Frog, I hate turkeys in my pudding! Remember last time!" Oryx called back, I laughed and waved.

"What happened last time?" Ed asked.

"You don't want to know." I replied, Ed shrugged.

"Fair enough then. I think I'll go back to bed now, this all happened too early in the morning for me." He began mounting the stairs.

"I'll go pheasant hunting with Soaring Leap's pack then! See ya!" I ran out the door to join the wild wolves of The Forest, shedding my coat as I ran across the cloud.

**That's all folks! This chapter was brought to you by the only letter of the alphabet that does not appear in this chapter. Does anyone want to guess which one?**

**7, 325 Words and thirteen pages!**

**DTFrogget**


	28. Zander

I want a banana phone!

At that very same moment Peanut was standing on a little stage in the middle of her secret hideout under a tree trying to organize a team of people to take to Frog's fortress. She had used the Cat King's Eye viewers to look at the fortress and had seen Al and Oryx's capture.

"Come on guys, I want to get out there!" She yelled over the noise. "We need to save Al and Oryx and rescue Frog from this curse!" The assembled characters just kept on chatting, all except for Jack, who patted Peanut's elbow.

"Don't worry Peanut, we'll save them." He said, and then he stood up walked in front of Peanut, drew in a deep breath, and shrieked at an almost unbearable level. Everyone stopped talking at once.

"Thank you Jack." Peanut said, he nodded and stepped back again. "Now, Frog's acting a little crazier than usual and we need to rescue Al, Ed, and Oryx from her and find a way to get her back to normal. Everyone ready? Let's go!" Peanut jumped down, snatched up her dragon stone from a nearby chair, and pelted out the door.

Followed by Jack Skellington, Kyo and Momiji Sohma, and Sirius Black in dog form. They ran and ran through the forest surrounding the secret base tree, and upon reaching the edge hey found not the usual cemetery but a vast cloud with Frog's fortress in the distance.

"There it is!" Peanut shouted, pointing. The group ran across the cloud and came up the very same ridge that Ed had climbed just a few days ago. "Yes it's very different, but still a castle and- What the heck is that village doing there?" Peanut pointed down at the minion infested village that sprawled under the palace stronghold. The others gave her strange looks as she stared bug eyed at the site. Jack snapped his fingers under her nose and she snapped back to attention. "Right, okay! Let's head on in!" they made their way as quickly as possible through the village and snuck up to the moat. Peanut whispered instructions to Kyo and Momiji, then hid everyone else in a close at hand tree.

Momiji skipped up the sentry guards singing nonsensically. He stood in front of them and started speaking in a fast and cheery voice. The guards stared entranced in spite of themselves. Kyo snuck up and got behind them, with a few quick moves he had the two sprawled on the ground. He scooped up one of the emerald green dressed men and carried him behind the tree; Momiji dragged the other one behind him. The whole group assembled and marched through the gates.

They walked though the rose engraved doors and were met with the same sight that had greeted Al and Oryx. But they had been briefed on all of this beforehand by Peanut and so they knew pretty much what to do.

The group separated into smaller ones, Jack and Peanut, Kyo and Momiji, and Sirius on his own, still in dog form. They split off and each ran down a hallway. Each person was equipped with a radio that would allow them to tell the other's when the found a prisoner. Sirius was going to map out as much of the castle as he could until the others found the three prisoners and met up at their rendezvous point, Kyo and Momiji had to find two prisoners.

The groups sped down the hallways as fast as they could manage, the blue guards weren't quite sure what to make of it all, and they couldn't leave their posts for too long, so they pulled out communicators and called for backup. More lines of cobalt clad militia lined up; they were instructed and split into teams. By the time they had got ordered and set off the rebels were very far away.

After half an hour of frantic chasing Sirius had been captured twice and had escaped both times by biting his captors, the guards chasing him were getting increasingly tired. Kyo and Momiji were having the most difficulty, there were a number of female staff working under Frog, and they saw nothing wrong with tackling the two to stop them.

This happened to turn whoever it was into an animal, the result being that the other person had to stop running to pick up their clothes and, if the animal was Momiji, the person too. Kyo's martial arts training and Momiji's utter adorableness allowed them to discourage most of their assailants.

Jack and Peanut were doing the best in the way of being chased, one scary face or action from Jack and the guards were rooted to the spot in fear. They had had some training in dealing with the strange and out of the ordinary, Frog thought of stuff like that, but nothing could prepare them for the fierceness of The Pumpkin King.

They had managed to shake off most of the guards so they were unhindered by the time they reached the cell block that housed Alphonse. After taking care of the guards outside they found Alphonse's cell. He was sitting in the corner of and his left eye was bruised and bloody. Peanut gasped when she saw him. As soon as Jack had unlocked the door she rushed inside and over to him.

"What did they do?" She asked indignantly. Al shrugged.

"They didn't like me asking questions." He said simply. Jack helped him up while Peanut searched the guard's pockets for keys.

"They don't have any; let's just get to the rendezvous." Peanut said, Jack nodded and helped Alphonse walk out of the cell. He hadn't been allowed to move the whole time he was in the cell and his muscles were a bit cramped, but after he'd walked for a while they loosened up enough to allow running. Peanut called the others on the radio and told them to meet at the cottage that Al, Ed and Oryx had used when planning their own infiltration. She gave them some quick directions, provided by Al, and they set off for the front doors.

Forever isn't really all that interesting.

Kyo and Momiji were having a hard time again. They'd found their first prisoner, Oryx, but they were having a hard time finding Edward. The three of them had found the cell block where he was, which happened to be on the other side of the fortress from Oryx, but they couldn't get in. The first guard they met had called for back up, and by the time they had dispatched the guards in front of the door that back up had arrived and they had to deal with them too.

The cycle continued and the team was getting more and more tired. Eventually Kyo got so furious that he knocked out every single guard at once before any of them could call for more back up. They ran into the jail area and started to look for Ed's cell. They found him eventually, chains wrapped around him like a cocoon and attached to the wall.

Oryx worked on the chains while Momiji and Kyo looked for Ed's arm. They found it just as the chains fell off of Ed, he grabbed his arm and they started running to the rendezvous point. They met a few guards on the way but they pushed past them and kept running.

On the way Ed shoved his arm back in its socket. The pain almost made him stop running, but Oryx grabbed his flesh hand and pulled him forwards. Kyo made a quick call to Sirius and told him to head to the rendezvous. The four managed to meet up with Sirius when they got to the front doors. By that time they had a very large amount of guards following them. The guards had finally gotten clearance to shoot them, and were doing so with great gusto.

Because they were running and getting in each other's way most of the shots missed by the smallest fraction, but a few got lucky, though not so lucky for the rouges. Oryx was hit in the shoulder by a white laser blast and Ed had a red one slice through his right leg, leaving a bloody gouge.

They both stumbled, but somehow managed to right themselves and keep running. The group made it out into the courtyard and Ed blew up part of the wall so they could get through. When they got to the cottage they found Peanut, Jack, and a bruised and bloody Alphonse standing next to an open orange portal. Peanut beckoned them all through it and jumped in after them.

Explosion! Boom! 

"Well, this mission was a success I say." Peanut said when everyone had tumbled to the floor of the secret hideout. Oryx pulled herself up with her uninjured left arm and ran over to Al.

"Are you alright?" She asked Al, fussing over his bruise. Al nodded his head impatiently.

"What happened to you? Why are you bleeding?" Oryx looked at her bloody arm as if she had only just noticed it.

"Some idiotic guard grazed her with a shot." Ed said limping over and ruffling Al's hair. "How're you doing Al?" Al looked at Ed's leg and gasped.

"Brother! Don't tell me you got shot too!" Ed waved a hand.

"It's fine just a graze. I'd be worrying about Oryx; she looks a little worse for wear." Ed gestured and Al looked over. Oryx was still staring at her arm, she started to sway gently. Her eyes fluttered closed and she started to fall Al stepped forward and caught her. Peanut rushed over and looked down at Oryx, who was bleeding on Al's shirt. She ordered for Oryx to be put on a bed and anyone with any medical training at all to gather around the bed.

She noticed that Ed was bleeding and ordered him to another bed. He protested but she kicked his bad leg out from under him and dragged him over to the bed.

There was much arguing about proper medical treatment so it was at least half an hour before Ed was allowed to get up and Oryx could be left unattended, though Alphonse wouldn't hear of it and stayed sitting next to the bed. Everyone else gathered in the main area of the base, where a few other characters waiting to go home were playing snap. They brainstormed ideas on a random whiteboard but couldn't come up with anything substantial.

"I just have no idea how we can possibly get the magic off Frog!" Peanut yelled in frustration. There was a cough and a polite: "Excuse me." From behind her, she whirled around. A pretty girl with red gold hair and yellow dress stood behind her.

"My husband, Howl, might be able to help you all. He's a little hard to pin down to anything but he's a great wizard." She said, fingering a golden band on her finger. Peanut nodded at her.

"Who exactly are you, and where do you come from?" She asked, the girl grinned.

"My name's Sophie, I'm from Ingary." Peanut nodded.

"Well then, let's get going, no time to lose." Peanut made another portal and she, Jack, Sophie, Ed, Sirius, Kyo, and Momiji, all filed through it, Al having elected to stay with Oryx. "We'll come back once we have Howl!" Peanut called to him, Al nodded and went back to the book he'd been reading.

**Next time on CCC: The rescue is complete.**


	29. Angra Mainyu

**Happy Chinese new year! Welcome to the year of the tiger! RAWR! Also, Happy Valentine's day! I have no idea when I last posted so I decided to five seconds ago. Enjoy!**

I am… Hungry

The large group stepped out of the portal just outside the former hat shop. Luckily the only people around were inside the shop. A small boy was standing on a stool behind the counter, handing out bunches of flowers to the customers. He looked up when the bell attached to the shop's door rang, when he saw Sophie his face lit up and he flew around the counter and launched himself at her.

"Sophie! You've come back! Howl was ever so worried. Calcifer too you know! We had no idea where you'd run off to. My who're all these people! That dog looks nice, what's his name?" The boy babbled.

"Yes Michael it's very good to see you too, could you take me to Howl? These people need him for something." Sophie said, patting the boys head. He nodded and led them all through a door at the back, apologising to the customers. He brought them into a well decorated sitting room with an odd blue fire burning in the grate. Sitting in front of the fire was an elegantly dressed man with blonde hair.

He was wearing a resplendent suit of silver and green and he had a single red gem in one ear. When Sophie walked in the room he turned around, when he saw who it was he let out a cry of happiness and stood up, she ran over to embrace him. It was after this that he noticed the other guests.

"Well hello there, and what can I do for you." He said, his eyes travelling over the party, they stopped for quite a bit on Jack, but Howl chose to say nothing.

"Well you see sir, Howl, my friend was cursed by the Piskie queen and she's gone evil and she's trying to kill everyone, you see. So we were wondering, if you were able and willing to of course, if you could lend yourself to our services. Only if you really want to we wouldn't want to-" Peanut babbled, Jack cut her off.

"What she's attempting to say is we were wondering if you would take the curse off of her friend." He said, watching Howl steadily. The Royal Wizard considered it for a few moments then looked to Sophie.

"Please Howl, they did rescue me and bring me back here after all." She said, gesturing. Howl thought about this and nodded his head.

"I'll help you, it should be fun. Anything to get out of this house again." Peanut cheered and high-fived Jack. "Are you coming Calcifer?" Howl asked the fire in the grate. It quivered, then rose right out of it, it was bright blue and teardrop shaped. Peanut could just see the face in the flames, she waved cheerily.

"I think I will, you might need my help, and it's been a while since we've had such interesting customers." The fire said, Howl nodded and looked expectantly at the group gathered in front of him.

"Let's go then." He said, Peanut nodded and opened a purple portal. They stepped through it and landed in the secret base.

"We just need to pick up my friends first." She said to Howl, who was watching the portal shrink and vanish.

"That was quite a neat use of inter-dimensional magic." He remarked to Calcifer. They continued to discuss this as Peanut went over to the bed where they had left Al and Oryx, Oryx was awake and sitting up with the book al had been reading earlier in her lap.

"Do you feel ready to come with us Oryx?" Peanut asked. Oryx nodded enthusiastically and jumped out of the bed.

"Absolutely! I don't want to miss this!" She said as she pulled on her shoes. They waited for everyone to assemble, then they filed through yet another portal, this one a lighter shade of lavender. They landed just inside the fortress. Peanut led the way through, though she had no idea where she was going.

"Peanut, are you sure this is the right way?" Jack asked, running alongside her. She shrugged.

"I'm assuming that Frog would have her inner sanctum in the middle of the fortress. But no I'm not sure at all Jack." They ran into a dead end and were just turning around when Ed cried out.

"I'm so stupid!" He yelled, and pulled off his glove. The blue-silver stone in the ring on his finger glowed and shot out a line of light. The crowd followed after Ed now, down white hallway after white hallway. They eventually reached some solid looking metal doors, with surprisingly little guard trouble on the way; they were probably still recovering from the last time.

"Okay, let's do this." Peanut said, she reached out and heaved the doors open.

Eh!

In front of the seven rebels stood a throne carved out of a golden coloured ice. Seated on it was Frog. She was now wearing a tie-dyed mainly purple shirt and green and purple striped pants, her socks were fluorescent orange and her hair was now white.

A white robed woman was playing a viola over by the window but she stopped and turned around when the doors crashed open.

"I was listening to that!" Frog yelled. Peanut turned swiftly to Howl.

"Her, she's the one." She said quickly, Howl nodded.

"I can feel it, it's good and strong." He said, Calcifer nodded.

"We could take it together." He commented, Howl turned and smiled.

"Shall we, old friend?" He asked.

"With pleasure." Calcifer said determinedly. He floated closer to Howl and the two of them closed their eyes. Calcifer kept his closed, but when Howl opened his they were burning with a new intensity that called the mind to wild out of control fires.

He called out a long word that was drowned out by thunder that was like an avalanche crashing down a mountain side. His hands extended and his hair stood on end.

Frog started to thrash round in her seat; she was lifted up out of it and thrown around like a rag doll. Her eyes were open and glassy. There was a snap like a log breaking in a fireplace and Frog dropped out of the air and hit the ground with a thump. Howl slumped to his knees, panting heavily.

"That was a strong one; it didn't want to let her go. I'd certainly hate to get on the bad side of whoever has enough power to do that." Howl said weakly, taking the hand Jack offered him and getting to his feet.

Ed and Peanut, meanwhile, had rushed over to Frog's side. Ed rolled her onto her back and checked that she was breathing, once it was assured that she was, the group had attention to spare for their surroundings.

The fortress walls were slowly changing from white painted stone back to not quite clear ice. The wall outside vanished into the ground and the moat dried up and filled itself in. The village disappeared all together, leaving a whole lot of Minions sitting on the cloud playing Go Fish.

The guards and white robed people vanished as well. A peculiar mist built up around everything as this happened. It blew through the castle and Ed felt as if something almost like a wind rushed past him very fast. The mist cleared away eventually and Frog twitched. She opened her eyes and sat up.

"What the hell's been going on?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. "And what the hell am I wearing?" She looked down at her outfit.

Rings are for chickens

It took a lot of explaining to catch Frog up on what had happened over the past few days. She listened intently to everything that had been going on, and as she did so she searched around the room for wherever the guards had put Ed's watch. She found it and returned it to him then waited out the rest of the story sitting next to Ed on a lounge in the Library. Al, Oryx, Peanut, Sirius, Kyo, Momiji, Howl, and Calcifer had all left by the time Edward had finished. Frog was livid.

"When I get my hands on that Piskie." She muttered furiously. Ed laughed; Frog suddenly became sombre and turned her head away. "I'm sorry Ed." She said quietly, Ed looked up.

"For what? You didn't have any control over what you were doing." He said. A tear slipped down Frog's face, she scrubbed it away with her purple sleeve.

"But they shot Oryx and you, and Al' face…" She said quietly, Ed patted her on the back.

"You didn't do any of it personally, and you were under a spell. It's not your fault. You'll feel better after a good night's sleep. Trust me." Frog looked up at Ed and smiled.

"Yeah. I think I will." They both went upstairs and fell fully clothed into one of the deepest sleeps either of them had ever had.

But chickens hate fish so it won't work.

I woke up on what I assumed was the next day to a beautifully coloured sunset spilling colour over the room. I sat up and looked around for Ed. I threw back the covers on my bed and got up, my legs shook a little but they supported me over to the door and down the stairs.

I found Ed in the kitchen, making pancakes for dinner. I walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder; he jumped and turned around quickly.

"Hey Frog. Nice to have you in the land of the conscious once more." He said, I grinned.

"How long was I out?"

"All of yesterday and most of today." He answered. "All that magic took its toll." I nodded.

"Why are you making pancakes?" I asked as Ed flipped the current one out of the pan and onto the stack on the blue and white chequered patterned plate sitting on the bench next to him. He turned off the stove without answering my question and took the plate out of the kitchen and walked down the hallway to the room we sometimes ate breakfast in.

It had a table that could seat up to six people comfortably set up in front of a window that spanned most of the wall and went all the way up to the extremely high ceiling. Ed set the pancake laden plate in the centre of the table and sat down; I slid into the chair opposite him.

Surrounding the plate were a number of smaller bowls, a jar of sugar, and a couple of bottles. The bowls contained different types of fruit, and I immediately started pilling strawberries onto the pancake Ed slid onto my plate. The bottle contained maple syrup. I picked it up and studied it. When I read the words '100% Canadian produced' I gasped loudly and Ed looked up.

"Look! It's Canadian!" I said excitedly, gesturing at the bottle. "Being so makes it all the more awesome, though it was already awesome just by being maple syrup." Ed nodded slowly, not saying anything for fear of invoking a ramble. I smiled for a little but then went back to my pancakes.

Once the food was eaten and the table cleared Ed ascended the stairs to his bed, yawning. I was too full of energy from the sleep and the sugar in the food to even contemplate sleep. I decided instead to wander the halls of the castle. So I lit a few candles and stuck them in a candelabrum, waving off Ed's offer to go find my battery powered LED torch.

"This is more fun." I said as I strapped my Elemental staff onto my back, checked the leather strap running across my chest, and strolled into the darkness.

**Next time on CCC: It's dark and stuff happens in the dark…**


	30. Extemporal

**You know, CCC's first birthday's coming up kind of soon, twenty-sixth of April to be exact. You can probably expect a couple of chapters that day. Enjoy!**

I'm about to be killed by a rabid paperclip-wielding chicken-phobic bear, and you sit there making paper grasshoppers!

"No! I don't want to become a demon!" A yell emerged from the room shared by Oryx and Al. Oryx is revealed sitting at a dark wooded desk with thin golden painted lines, head in hands. Al walks into the room and over to the chair in which she is sitting. She is leaning over a piece of paper, pen in hand. "I didn't mean to…" she says quietly, "it just happened." Al reads the section.

_He heaved his handsome snowy mare to an abrupt halt and glided elegantly down onto the leaf-spread forest floor. Patting her hoary side gratefully as he did so._

"_A pleasure I am sure." He said, bowing shortly, his cerise cloak flowing the rest of the way over his shapely shoulder. I felt my heart bound in my chest as I gazed at him. The sun gleamed on his golden tresses as it fell over cerulean eyes that seemed to be studying the very depths of my essence. _

Al stopped reading and looked over at the sobbing Oryx.

"What exactly is wrong with it?" He asked quietly. Oryx drew in a deep breath before answering.

"The prose; it's purple. Purple prose." She then burst back into devastated sobs.

Oh please teach me how to count to four! I'm playing a concert this afternoon!

I swept through the halls of the castle, holding my four pronged candelabrum in front of me in an attempt to dispel some of the darkness around me. For some unknown reason all of the windows I passed had decided not to let any light in, this was fine as I liked the slightly creepy effect. I walked down dark hallway after dark hallway, and became increasingly bored with the never-ending darkness.

I heard a rush of air behind me and spun sharply around. Seeing nothing I continued on my exploration. I turned left at the next junction and found myself at the top of a flight of stairs.

I was about halfway down them when I felt the carpet that covered the stairs shift beneath me and I rolled down the remaining stairs and onto the floor at the end.

"That hurt," I said as I rubbed my head. Remembering the burning candles I looked wildly around for the candelabrum, only to find it sitting upright with the candles still burning on a nearby table. I heard the rush of air behind me again, closer this time, and whirled around. Once again, the corridor was empty as far as I could see. I picked up the candelabra once more and started down the new hall.

A few hallways later I came upon a painting hanging on the wall. It was a portrait of a young girl; she looked about fifteen years old. She was sitting on an ornately carved light-grey stone bench in a beautiful garden under a trailing willow tree. She was wearing an ankle length pink skirt with a slightly longer and darker skirt under it and a piece or bright red material over half of it.

Setting off the skirt was a long, loose white cotton shirt with elbow-length sleeves and a short red scarf around her neck, knotted at the front. Her hair was a somewhat chaotic array of chestnut-coloured shoulder-length curls held back with another strip of red cloth, this one patterned with white birds. Her shoes were brown and looked to be leather, she was holding a ball made of glass in one hand. Or it could have been crystal, I couldn't tell.

There was a brightly coloured song-bird sitting in the willow tree behind her. Most of its feathers were a sharp electric blue except for the tail feathers. The bird's tail was made up of bright crimson feathers with one emerald green in the centre. Its head was tilted to the side, as if it was studying the painter very closely.

One of the trailing branches of the willow was pooling on the bench beside the girl. Fragrant looking peach-pink blossoms littered the soft green grass around the bench. Sniffing one of the blossoms on the ground was a small rabbit; its fur the colour of a dusty piece of amber. I found my gaze drawn again to the girls' dark eyes. They were like vats of deep brown earth filled with golden coloured scraps of laughter and life.

I stood there staring for I don't know how long. I snapped out of my trance state when a translucent blue vase full of 'Lily of the valley' flowers fell off of its plinth and shattered into jagged pieces on the floor. Water seeped across the carpet in a spreading soggy pool; I stared dumbly at it for a few seconds then sprang forwards. I pulled out a handkerchief and began trying to mop up the water and flower petals.

I dumped the vase fragments, flowers, and my handkerchief in a nearby bin and picked up my candelabra. I couldn't think what had made the vase fall like that, I hadn't been standing near it, nor had I been moving.

I didn't think that there were mice in the castle big enough to push it off of the pedestal. It might have been Hayashi but last time I saw him, at breakfast, he had headed out the window to The Forest. I remembered the candelabrum and how it had somehow been sitting on the table after I fell down the stairs and looked around warily.

"Hayashi?" I called into the darkness, "Edward? If that's you, Ed, I will clobber you with this." I gestured to a large long wooden pole on the wall behind me carved with leafy golden trees. When no one replied I continued walking down the passageway. The one I was in wasn't the same as the others, neither was it all that different. It was completely straight with no other passages branching off of it.

I was wondering how much longer it could go on in a dead straight line when the hallway turned sharply to the left. I peered around the corner, suddenly nervous for no reason. I was greeted by yet another dead straight passage, only this one looked like it had a door at the end. I squinted down the hazily-lit corridor; it was a door sure enough, what or where it led to was less clear. I began to walk towards the door, as I advanced on it I felt a sense of foreboding wriggle inside my head.

There were plenty of parts of the castle that were a mystery to me, though they were my own, plenty of places I hadn't been. But they had always been a source of excitement and energy, those unexplored regions, so the feeling of fear was unexpected and wrong.

I stopped and tried to calm myself down. I tried to push the wave of trepidation away by focusing on the candelabrum in my hand. It was made of a silvery bronze metal that dulled under bright light and shone in soft light, such as candles. It had angular engravings around the base of the shaft and each of the candle shafts.

The metal had a dull-ish sheen to it, as if there was a micro-thin layer of wax covering it. Sufficiently calmed I looked up and continued down the hallway towards the mysterious door. My bare feet skittered on a few loose chunks of ice on the floor and I heard a small squeak. Must be mice, I thought. I usually didn't mind the furry little critters but I was jumpy enough as it was.

So I avoided looking at the ground as I moved down the corridor, holding the candles up just a little higher, though the amount of light given off was limited. I drew ever closer down the hallway to the door, feeling the tension in the air increase with every step I took. When I finally reached the door I stopped and stood staring at it warily. The air felt suddenly thicker and older, as if no one had disturbed it in many long years. I felt a cold breath of air on the back of my neck and the candles guttered out.

I set the candelabrum down next to the door, and ran my hands over the wood. It was smooth as if with age or weathering. I pushed at the door lightly and it swung open under my touch.

I hesitated at seeing the dark room inside, as dark as Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang Flame Alchemist Pony Boy's hair. I sucked in a lung-full of the musty air and stepped inside the room. I ran my hand along a wall as I walked, trying to find a light switch. I found one about three metres down from the door and flicked it; a candle flickered into life, sitting on a little black table a few paces away from me. I blinked, staring at the dancing flame, and flipped the switch again, the candle snuffed out with a small puff.

I flicked the switch again and the candle flared up again, sending weak light out over the rest of the room. I walked over to the table and picked up the creamy white candlestick, noting the thick layer of dust covering it and the table as I did so.

I turned around and found the door, a rectangle of light in the pitch dark wall. I turned back, and saw nothing in front of me. The table had vanished. I whirled around in confused circles, making the candle stutter and almost go out. I took a step forward and crashed into a chair. I went sprawling on the dark ground, dropping the candle and whacking my head on the chair.

"Ow." I whispered to the dark room, standing up and setting the chair right. "You know some light would be really appreciated right now." As soon as I said it the candle I had dropped flickered back into life, mysteriously standing right side up, along with two others sitting on the chair I'd just stood up. I picked up my original candle and walked a few paces further away from the door, as far as I dared go.

I dribbled a small pool of wax onto the floor from the candle in my hand and stuck the pale stick firmly into it. I walked back to the chair and did a similar thing with the other two candles. The end result being me sitting inside a small triangle of warm light. I sat myself down directly in front of the chair, facing it. It was made of a golden-brown wood with a lighter gold grain.

Something about this room was mesmerizing, yet scary at the same time, like staring into a snake's eyes. It was almost enough to start me shaking as I sat there. A smell that put me in mind of leaves fallen a few weeks ago, and damp from a recent rainstorm, filled the air around me. I thought I heard something scuttling just beyond the candle light behind me and jumped to my feet, heart pounding hard behind my collarbone.

I was starting to breathe faster; my eyes were roving all around the room, my nerves were twitching. I was so strung up that when the chair behind me tipped over with a tremendous crash I jumped a metre into the air and screamed so loudly I covered my own ears. Though it didn't look it, the chair was heavy for its size. My foot caught on the hem of my jeans and I fell to the cold dark floor. When I scrambled to my feet I felt the blood drain from my face at the sight that greeted me.

The three candles that I had stuck to the floor had broken free of the wax and were hovering in midair around me, all of them burning a bright demonic crimson red.

They were joined by a fourth candle, moving to form a bright fiery square. A fifth one, a pentagon. I spun on the spot, looking for the door and a way out and far away from here.

A sixth candle, a hexagon of crimson flame. I tried to pull me Elemental staff out of its holster but it was stuck fast. The candles moved in closer towards me, they were getting bigger, their flames flared up, licking the ceiling. A seventh candle joined the ranks, blazing brightly like a blood-red star.

I located the door in the wall off to my left and stepped towards it. The candles flared even higher in response. I cast around for something, anything, to use against them. My hand bumped against the chair, I seized it and swung it wildly at the candles.

As soon as the chair got near to their flames it began to heat up in my hands, wood groaning and creaking. I swung the chair again, the candles moved back away from it a little ways. The chair was growing hotter with every passing panicked beat of my pounding heart. I swung the chair one last, wild, desperate time; it brushed against a candle and exploded. Peppering me with chips of flaming wood.

A high keening noise was filling the room, which was filled with eerie shadows from the candles. The eighth candle was floating across the room towards me, wick as of yet unlit. They were less like candles now though, more comparable to scorching pillars of ruby fire. I made a mad dash for the door and my freedom, trying to duck under a smaller candle that didn't reach as close to the ground as the others.

I was sent reeling backwards by a burst of flames from the candles. I felt like my skin was singing. The eighth candle was floating into the configuration, wick heating up, staring to burn.

Ever so slowly the other candles started to move to make room for it, into an octagon, I noted. Growing bigger and hotter, flames licked the ceiling and the candle bottoms almost touched the floor. I sank to my knees, trying desperately to crawl towards the exit. I managed to roll out of the way of a shot of fire, but I still felt the sparks and heat on my skin as I dived at a small gap in the candles' wall.

The flames were blurring together now, forming a crown-like ring of fire on top of the shape formed by the burning wax pillars. I wormed under the shorter candle, dragging my self out of the octagon. I crawled desperately in the direction of the door. The high keening rose to a shrieking crescendo that had me huddling on the floor, hands over my ears as I shrieked along with it.

A burst of flame behind me got me onto my hands and knees again and moving towards the door. I struggled onwards, and managed to crawl inch by inch out of the room. The heavy black door slammed behind me with a metallic clash. I collapsed in a heap in the icy floor, sobbing. My breath came in heaves and my shoulders shook.

I sat up and wiped my eyes, running my hands over the rest of my face. I had a few scratches from the flying wood and a bruised lump from when I fell into the chair. I stumbled to my feet and took a few staggering steps down the murky black corridor. My legs were shaky and ready to collapse, demonstrated when they did so four paces later.

That was when the burns on the soles of my feet and lower legs made themselves known. I screamed again, fresh tears running down my face and neck. I stretched out my hands, in an attempt to find something to pull my self up with so I could keep walking, or drag myself along; I wanted to get as far away from that place as possible.

My searching hands hit something in front of me in the darkness; a step. This made me pause and think; there were no stairs here when I came down this hallway before. Running my hand along the stair, I found the banister and hauled myself forward with it. It was then that I realised that the floor I had been resting on wasn't ice; it was stone.

I froze, there was no stone flooring in the castle, except for the statues in the garden and maybe a few other sculptures around the castle there was no stone at all. I was as sure of this as I was that there had been no stairs in this passage before.

Closing my eyes to avoid looking at the door again, I turned around. I felt my way blindly back down the corridor on my hands and knees stopping when my hand bumped the doorframe. I felt on the floor next to the frame. I ran my hands repeatedly all around it but to no avail; there was no candelabrum. A tear of confusion, pain, and frustration leaked out of my eye and dripped onto my right knuckle.

This not only set off another flood of tears but a flare of pain in both hands and arms. From my elbows to the very tips of my fingers were burning and stinging with a passion. The strain was too much for my system and I slumped the rest of the way onto the cold ground. Darkness wrapped my in its embrace of complete and utter darkness, free of thought. Complete oblivion.

**Next time on CCC: I meet some new people, who aren't really all that unfamiliar.**


	31. Writ

**This bit of the story will contain the fandom X-Men. If you have no idea what that is I suggest Google for it knows all. As I am far less well versed in this fandom than others I've just kind of taken everything I know and mashed it all together so forgive me please if I get something wrong or something. Mostly I think we're in movie universe, but again, anything I knew at all was put in this. So please don't kill me over this okay? Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the X-Men.**

**Ω**

When I swam back to consciousness it was to a strange coolness in my limbs. I prised my eyes open and pushed myself up off of the floor. I was in a huge hall. It looked like the kind you would find in a manor; light, airy, and well designed. There was no way I was still in the castle.

The floor was marble, I thought, a smooth black stone veined with grey. High pillars panelled in dark wood were set throughout the room. Set into the walls above the wide wooden stairs were two long and high windows hung with deep blue curtains, they filled the hall with the light of early dawn. I got to my feet, surprised when there was no pain radiating from my bare feet as they hit the cool marble floor.

Remembering the injuries of the previous night, I studied my feet, legs and arms. Any burns I had sustained had vanished, though the cuts on my hands arms face and legs remained. As did the bruised lump on my forehead. None of them were life threatening, they only stung and throbbed moderately. I turned slowly around, taking in the room, wondering what I should do.

_Walk up the stairs. _

I spun around, trying to figure out where the voice I had just heard was coming from.

_Please, walk up the stairs. You won't be harmed. _

I checked the holder for my Elemental staff and upon finding it still there I walked over to the stairs and started climbing, running my hand along the smooth wood of the banister.

I contemplated whether or not the people living here would have any idea how I could get home, and if they would help me. I stood on the first landing for a minute or two, wondering still more about the people living in the house.

But I remembered the words of the voice, that I would not be harmed, so I continued up the second flight of stairs. I went through the door at the top and came out into another wood panelled hallway. I walked down it, not really knowing where I was heading.

A strange fuzziness came into my head as I walked, along with the feeling that I was being watched. I felt as if someone was pulling me, leading me, to where I needed to go. It was similar to the pull I got from my ring when I called to Ed. The pull led me to a door, then stopped abruptly. I stood in front of the door, waiting. As I stood there the pull came back again twice as strong as before, willing me to open the door and walk inside. I stretched out my hand to the door handle, then pulled back and knocked hesitantly on the dark wood.

_Come in, please. _

The voice I had been hearing said, as I now realised, inside my mind. I hesitated, then turned the small golden handle and pushed the door open gently. I slipped inside and closed the door behind me, looking around. It was an office. Like the hall it was filled with the early dawn light. It radiated an aura of complete safety.

Sitting at a desk facing the door was a man. He was bald, with kind-looking brown eyes. When I slipped into the room a woman with dark tan skin and pale white shoulder-length hair looked over from her spot at one of the windows. They both looked at me silently. I hovered in front of the door, now very aware of the dust, dirt, and even a small amount of blood coating my clothes and skin.

"Welcome." The man said with a warm smile. I heard a small click and he wheeled out from behind the desk in a motorized wheelchair. "I am glad you found your way up here without any trouble."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you. Um, if you don't mind me asking, where am I?" I asked him. The white-haired woman, who was now standing next to the man, looked at me curiously.

"Westchester, New York. My name is Professor Charles Xavier, this is Storm, and this is my school for mutants." He watched me after making the last statement, as if looking or a reaction from me. I said nothing though my mind was racing.

Charles Xavier? As in X-Men creator, Charles Xavier? The X-Men story wasn't a strong suit of mine, but if this was indeed Charles Xavier then he could read my mind, that I did at least know. This could prove to be a problem if I thought the wrong thing. The fuzziness came back into my head and I tried to clear it of thoughts that would make people ask questions. I couldn't stop a few things floating through my head; a mental picture of the castle, Ed and Al sparring.

"It's nice to meet you, sir." I said, smiling back at him. Then wincing as the motion stretched a few of the cuts on my face.

"Oh you're hurt. I'll go get Jean, come and sit down." Storm ushered me to the middle of the room where armchairs and couches were arranged around a coffee table. She sat me down in a white leather arm-less chair and walked briskly out of the room.

Professor Xavier moved in front of me, folding his hands in front of his face. He studied my intently without saying anything. Feeling slightly uncomfortable I focused my mind on the scene outside the window.

There wasn't a lot to see, most of the view was obscured by green leaves that filtered the light and threw pretty patterns on the floor and walls. I watched these patterns for a little while but inevitably my attention was drawn back to Professor Xavier.

"Now then, judging from your surprised expression at hearing your whereabouts, I am going to hazard a guess that you didn't come to my school in a normal fashion." He said, I nodded an agreement. Flashes from the previous night breaking to the front of my mind.

"I'm not really sure how I got here, sir." I said, the Professor nodded. "Or how I'm going to get back…" I trailed off, pondering this new problem. Wondering if I could just Port back to the castle. I didn't want to try it then; it would have been rude. I had been able to when we left Ed's world. Suddenly it struck me that in all the things that had been happening I had forgotten to introduce myself. I said as much to the Professor, who laughed quietly.

"Sorry Professor Xavier, I think my manners went on a holiday to New Zealand without telling me again. My name's Robyn, but people call me Frog." My mind slipped back to the last time I had given myself that name back in Central, and also to Ed.

"A pleasure. Robyn, you are quite welcome to stay here, and I will do all in my power to return you home if you are unable to do so yourself." I mulled this over, it sounded like a pretty good offer to me.

"That would be really great Professor, so kind of you to do something like that for someone you've only just met." I said. Storm walked in at that moment, followed by a woman with bright red hair whom I assumed was Jean.

"This is Jean Grey. Jean, Storm, this is Robyn." The Professor said, I waved minutely. Jean nodded to me than set about cleaning my cuts. None of them were too deep or stitch worthy, though there were a few splinters from the chair exploding. When Jean finished she went and sat on the couch next to Storm. Xavier was once again behind his desk.

"I suppose you want to know how I got here." I wasn't quite sure myself but I could tell tem what I knew at least.

"If you can tell us." Xavier said.

"Just give me a minute to sort my story out first." I said, the three of them all nodded. I ran through what I could tell them. Debating for a while on whether or not to tell them about living in a magical ice castle in another dimension.

Eventually I decided to tell the truth, even about the fact that my name wasn't my name. Lying wasn't my strong suit; in fact I was a terrible liar. And even if I was, secrets didn't stay secrets very long with mind readers around. I took a deep breath and began my story.

I told them first that I lived in a castle that floated around on the top of a cloud. I told them next that my name was Frog but that Robyn was my alias with normal people, though no one had seemed interested in my last name yet.

I told them that I lived there with my best friends; Alphonse, Oryx, and Edward. Though I left out where Al and Ed had come from. I told them about how I like to explore the castle when I got the chance. I had to stop again and collect myself when I started describing what had happened in the room with the candles.

"Then I passed out. When I woke up I was lying in the mansion foyer." I finished. I had avoided looking at anyone while I had been talking, in fear of their expressions, but now I looked up. Professor Xavier was watching me carefully, Jean looked like she thought I had made the whole thing up, Storm was looking at the Professor.

"Professor?" She asked, Xavier continued to stare at me; the fuzzy feeling invaded my head again.

"She speaks truly." He said quietly, Storm leant back against the couch back, eyes closed.

"So, I should be able to Port back home. Unless something very unlikely has happened and it doesn't work." I said, I couldn't think of a way that my Porting wouldn't work. At least enough to get me to my dimension again.

"What happens of you can't?" Jean asked.

"Well, I could send a message to Oryx maybe. Or at least try to and she could either Summon me or come and get me. If that doesn't work I could try and find or contact my friend Peanut." Xavier sighed a little.

"As I said before you are welcome to stay here for as long as you need."

"I think I'd like to try Porting now, it was nice to meet you all." I nodded to the three adults and concentrated, waiting for the tug. It happened, I felt it, but then it was as if I had come up against a barrier surrounding my home. I hit it and bounced off, falling to the floor of Xavier's office. I sat up, coughing and shaking.

"Somehow, I don't think that worked." Jean said dryly, I smiled.

"I might have to agree with you there." I said. "Something's blocking it. It might only be into my dimension though, hold on for a moment." This was a good time to try out a theory that had floated through my head. This universe seemed more open to people bending the rules a little, so maybe I'd have some of my powers.

I concentrated on the far corner of the room, I felt the tug and when I opened my eyes I was sitting on the floor in the corner and everyone was staring at me. "Looks like it's a barrier then." I walked back to my seat, wondering if any of my other powers worked here. I'd expect them to change a little, but having them at all would be a comfort.

"What other powers?" Jean asked, I jumped a little. Whoops, forgot about those pesky telepaths.

"Well I can do Alchemy, Port, control the Elements somewhat with my staff," I pulled my staff out of its holster and twirled it in my fingers. "I was trained by Ninjas for five days or so, and I can bend anything in my castle to my will. Oh, and there's my moon pendant, but it doesn't really have a definite use, it does stuff sometimes and it fits into my Elemental Staff and makes it look different though I have yet to figure out what use that has I do it almost every time I use it any way."

The Porting had tired me in a way it had never done before. I decided that getting tired was the change to my powers. The barrier was probably the reason I was as exhausted as I was now; it took a lot out of me.

"Is that all?" The Professor asked, I thought about it, then shook my head.

"Not quite, there's one other thing, but I'm not sure if it'll work." I took another deep breath and fell forwards off the chair. I hit the floor of the office with a small thud.

"What was that supposed to do?" The Professor asked quietly and not unkindly. I got up and sat back down.

"I have a cliff that follows me around, I fall off it sometimes. There's usually something at the bottom like a lake or a river that catches me." I explained. I felt a small pang about not having my cliff with me and I wondered what had happened to it. Unable to contain my exhaustion after Porting into the barrier I yawned widely.

"Storm, I think Robyn should go have a rest. We can introduce her to the others tomorrow." Professor Xavier said to Storm, she nodded and walked over to the door. I jumped up and bowed at Xavier and Jean.

"Thank you." I said and ran out of the room after Storm, who walked quite fast.

I followed Storm through a bewildering number of halls to a spacious bedroom.

"Are you alright?" She asked me as I sat down on the bed in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Sleep does sound like a very good idea right now though; trans-dimensional travelling kind of takes it out of you." Storm smiled.

"See you tomorrow then." She said and walked out of the room. In the distance I heard a muffled crash. I wormed my way under the bedclothes and fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

I woke up early the next morning, the sun hadn't come up yet but from the feeling I the air it would soon. At first I wasn't sure where I was, then I remembered what had happened. The full realisation of what was happening hit me finally. I was stuck in another universe.

I couldn't Port back to my castle, my friends. I sat in the dark for a while, thinking about everything until the sun began to clear the horizon. As soon as its warm rays started to wash through the room I realised that this was probably the best place I could have ended up.

Professor Xavier and Cerebro could help me find and contact one of my friends. I thought about any other ways I could get in contact with Peanut, I had a few ideas and stored them away in my brain to try in my spare time. I fretted after that over Al, Ed and Oryx. I'd disappeared before, but this one looked to be much longer. Oryx would probably get so frustrated in trying to Summon or Port me.

I looked down at my ring, wondering what would happen if I tried calling to Ed with it. I didn't, it would have been too disappointing if it did nothing. Now that I was surrounded by quiet and my mind was more at rest I finally realised what was causing the feeling of uneasiness I'd been getting ever since I woke up.

Normally when Oryx, Ed, Al and I travel into any universe that isn't our own we are surrounded by a small rip or bubble in the fabric of the universe, preventing it from trying to make us adhere to its rules, and in finding it couldn't do so; collapsing in on itself; which would be very distracting and rather inconvenient.

Because of this bubble, all our powers worked as if we were still in our own world, and that's what was bothering me, previously I had been too overwhelmed to notice another blockage, another barrier, on me. It was as if someone was forcing me into this universe and attempting to make me part of it, thankfully I was right about this universe being more receptive to changes in reality and odd powers.

Two hours later I was curled up under the bed with a headache, massaging my temples. I heard someone come into the room. I rolled out from under the bed, it was Storm. She asked my how I slept, skating over the fact that I was under my bed. I told her I slept fine, which was the truth.

"Are you hungry?" Was her next question, "We have time for some food." I shook my head. I looked around and recognised the hallway we were walking up as the one that led to the Professor's office.

I felt myself pale as I remembered I was going to meet the X-Men. "Nervous?" Storm asked, I nodded silently. She smiled down at me. "Don't be. The people here are really excepting of new things. They'll like you straight away. I'm sure." I remembered the last time someone had given me advice as we walked down halls like this.

"_I'm sure it's something more than just the books you have. Ed doesn't get close to people very easily." I mulled over this statement for a while, Hawkeye watched me. _

"_I never really thought about why before..." I said quietly, I was confused now. Why was he doing any of this? Was the only reason he was doing any of this with me just to get to those books and help Al? No, he wouldn't do that, he wants to help his brother but he wouldn't be that cruel. We walked the rest of the way to the room in silence, Hawkeye nodding in greeting to the few officers we passed, and with me in deep thought about everything. Hawkeye unlocked the door of the room when we reached it and gave me a key. _

"_Think about it, there is always a reason behind Ed's actions." She said, smiling, and walked back towards Mustang's office._

I snapped back to reality and smiled back at Storm.

"Thanks. I feel better now." I wondered if she always knew the right thing to say or if I was just really transparent. It was still early enough so that Storm and I were the only ones out in the halls, I heard a few people moving around in rooms as we passed. We reached the door to the Professor's office and Storm knocked briskly on it.

**Next time on CCC: The introductions continue.**


	32. Geta

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY CCC! On this day one year ago I first set fingers to keyboard and began typing the rambling drivel you have been reading! Hopefully this is the first of two posts today! Yes that's right two!  
Just a reminder, this bit if the story is in… an alternate universe! Yes, that's good, pretend, if you are an X-Men fan, that this is kind of like an alternate universe! **

**Claimer: Mine as of a year! **

I ran a hand nervously through my tangled hair, then it got snagged on a large knot and wouldn't go through it so I gave up. As we continued to wait there I tried to smooth out the wrinkles in what had once been a light blue shirt and jeans, though they were still smeared with mud, dirt, and small splotches of blood.

Professor Xavier must have spoken to Storm telepathically because she opened the door and ushered me inside without anyone saying anything. I took a few hesitant steps inside the room and heard Storm walk in behind me and shut the door. She went and stood behind the Professor's desk with a group of seven other people, I recognised Jean and smiled at her.

"Robyn, these are my X-Men." Professor Xavier said proudly. "I'll let them introduce themselves to you, and then if you like perhaps a few of them would volunteer to show you around the mansion."

"Maybe someone should get her some shoes first, X." A tall burly man said, grinning. Xavier chuckled.

"An excellent idea, Logan, and maybe a change of clothes too."

"I'll go find some." Storm said, walking over to the door, "Good luck." She muttered as she walked past me. The man, Logan, stepped forward past The Professor's desk.

"Well like X said I'm Logan, but I usually introduce myself as Wolverine." He held out his hand, I shook it.

"Nice to meet you Wolverine, I'm Robyn, like Professor said, but I usually introduce myself as Frog." Logan grinned and walked to stand by the window. The next person to step forward was a teenage boy with pale blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes, he grinned at me.

"Hey, I'm Bobby, call me Ice Man." He held out his hand too, I shook it and came away with a neat little ball of ice in my hand.

"Neat trick Popsicle boy." I said, Bobby paused, then laughed and walked over to where Logan was standing chatting to Jean. The next person to come forward to greet me was a girl with shoulder-length brown hair with a white streak at the front.

"I'm Rouge. It's nice to meet ya." She said, with a thick-ish accent I couldn't quite place, and held out a black gloved hand and I pumped it up and down enthusiastically.

"How really corking to see you!" I said, laughing a little. Rouge looked a little confused but she smiled at me.

"I'm Scott, or Cyclops." Said a man with chestnut brown hair and ruby-slipper red sunglasses. I extended my hand before he did and shook his. As he walked away I burst into maniacal laughter. He turned around, I stopped laughing. When he started to walk again I started laughing again. He walked the rest of the way without looking around again. The next person to brave my insanity was a girl with clear blue eyes like spring water and brown hair like fresh soil.

"Hi I'm Kitty, Shadowcat."

"Marvellous! Absolutely spiffing!" I said, pumping her hand up and down too. She giggled. The last person in the room who hadn't been introduced to me was a teenage boy with blue eyes and hair.

"I am Kurt Vagner." He said, he held out a gloved hand and I shook it enthusiastically.

"Hello Kurt, that's a nice accent you've got there. German, right?" Kurt nodded.

"Ja it is mein first language."

"Well good for you on learning another one!" I said happily, shaking his hand again. Kurt smiled at me, Kitty cleared her throat.

"Kurt? Maybe you should turn off the image inducer." She said, Kurt sighed.

"Must I?" he asked, she nodded.

"It would be best to start out on the right foot, with truth." She continued, Kurt nodded and put his hand to the watch on his wrist. Kitty moved closer to me.

"Please don't scream; he hates it when people scream." She whispered urgently in my ear.

"I won't scream; I'm very good with unique occurrences." I assured her,

Kurt flickered, I had one last glimpse of the blue haired boy, then he vanished and a different Kurt was standing before me.

His entire body, as much of it as I could see, was covered in deep indigo fur. His hair was the same colour. He ran a gloved three-fingered hand through it, revealing pointed ears, and a spear-tipped tail twitched back and forth behind him. His eyes were like lights in a pitch black night, a brilliant gold, set off even more by his bark blue fur and hair. His legs were kind of strange too, now that I looked closer.

I studied him for a few seconds, drinking it in, then took a deep breath and burst into hysterical laughter. I bent almost double with laughing and I could feel the eyes of the whole room on me as I struggle to contain myself.

"I'm sorry but I'm supposed to be scared?" I said. "He looks like an oversized fluffy Piskie with a tail!" A pause after that, coupled with more staring

"Really though, it's very nice to meet you!" I said, "What's your name again? I'm bad with new names." Blue Fuzzy Elf Boy hesitated a moment.

"I am Kurt Vagner, but in zhe Munich circus I vas known as zhe Incredible Nightcrawler." He replied.

"Well, thank you Kurt Vagner the Incredible Nightcrawler. I'll remember it this time." Kurt grinned, showing pointed fang-like teeth. Unnoticed, Storm had come into the room holding a small bundle of clothes and a pair of sneakers.

"Thank you Storm." I said cheerily as she handed them to me, she nodded.

"Well now that you know more people you can have a tour, would anyone in particular like to show her around? I'm afraid I have a few too many things to take care of at the moment." Professor Xavier said. I looked around, Kurt, Rouge and Kitty had their hands waving in the air. Xavier nodded to them. "All right then, I will see you all later." We traipsed out of the office, Kitty taking my hand so I didn't wander down the wrong hallway.

"You can change and shower and stuff in my and Rouge's room if you like." She offered. I nodded gratefully, if I didn't then I would have to remember where the room I slept in was, and I had absolutely no idea. Kitty led me down the hall and up the stairs at the end, Kurt and Rouge chatting quietly as they followed us. Kitty showed my where the bathroom was and threw a towel at me. "See ya in a few." She said, and walked straight through the door out of the room. I grinned and went to find the shower again.

A good twenty minutes later I walked out of Rouge and Kitty's room wearing a pair of long jeans and a plain white shirt. I stepped out of the door and nearly ran into Kurt, who was hanging by his tail from a light.

"Gah, sorry Blue Fuzzy Elf. Do you make a habit of hanging upside-down from light fixtures or did you feel like shaking things up?" Rouge grinned.

"If ya ask me he spends more time hanging like that then he does with feet on the ground." Kurt smirked and vanished from the light in a puff of sulphuric-smelling dark smoke, and reappeared almost instantly at the other end of the hall with another small cloud of smoke and a soft 'bamf'. I grinned, focused my mind, and Ported next to him. The others stared.

"I wish I could do smoke." I said quietly, flicking my hand through the quickly dissipating smoke. "So theatrical."

"Are you a mutant then?" Rouge asked.

"We thought you might be, what with coming to the school and all, and the way you reacted to us." Kitty continued.

"But the Professor didn't say anything either way." Rouge finished.

"I'm not a mutant, as far as I know anyway, but I certainly am a weirdo!" I declared, they laughed. "Yep, mad as a hatter! Tea anyone?" I held up an imaginary teapot, then looked at my hand with a quizzical expression and made a motion as if throwing the teapot over my shoulder.

"Well let's not stand around yapping all day." Kitty said, "You've seen the Professor's office, how about the kitchen next, who's hungry?" Kurt raised a hand; I waved my arm frantically in the air.

"Yes Kurt we know you're always hungry, it's a given." Rouge said. We followed her down some more stairs and through more corridors. I was thoroughly lost now. The kitchen was large and modern looking, with a huge table at one end. Kurt walked to the fridge and pulled out the remains of a cooked chicken. He cut off a bunch of thick slices and arranged them on four plates. He handed a plate to each person and set about inhaling his chicken. Together the four of us devoured the remaining meat.

"What should we show you now?" Kitty wondered.

"Vhat about zhe rec. room?" Kurt suggested.

"Oh yeah, good idea Kurt, then we can show you the garage and maybe downstairs." Kitty grabbed my arm and pulled me excitedly down some more stairs. The rec. room was almost empty; there were only two people it.

"This is Evan. Spyke, this is Robyn." Rouge said, gesturing to a boy who looked about my age, maybe a year older with coffee coloured skin and blonde hair. Bobby was sitting watching TV, Rouge went to sit with him. Kurt sat on the window seat and stared out at the grounds. It was then that Kitty decided we needed to go shopping.

"You can't keep wearing the same clothes everyday." She said.

"Okay yes but-" Rouge covered my mouth.

"Don't bother arguing with her. She said quietly, I nodded.

"Never disagree vith Shadowcat." Kurt agreed, now hanging once again upside-down from a light bracket.

"Duly noted." I said, snapping a salute as Kitty dragged me out of the room.

"Now you'll get to see the garage too! We'll finish the rest of the tour when we get back." She said as we walked.

"What about that one?" I said, pointing to a pair of ordinary blue jeans.

"Nope, wrong colour." Kitty said, I tilted my head to the side and watched her browsing for a minute or two.

"How can they be…? They're just…" Kitty pulled a slightly lighter pair off of another rack.

There, much better. See these match this and this and those." She said throwing clothes at me, most of which I caught on the top of the ever growing pile.

"Wow look at the time!" I said, "We'd better get moving. Sure fine we'll take this with us." I snatched whatever it was Kitty was holding out of her hands and pushed her away from the clothes and over to the counter. "To the check-out!" I dumped the pile of clothes onto the bench and rummaged absent-mindedly in my pockets as the blonde-haired teenage girl with an obsession for chewing gum, judging by the amount of empty wrappers on the desk around her, scanned the items and stuffed them in plastic bags.

I pulled out a dark purple card with 'Frog' scrawled across the back. Bending reality just a little, though it made spots dance in front of my eyes. I handed it to the girl and she scanned it without a problem, she handed me a slip of paper to sign, which I did, and compared it with the card. She handed me the card and a receipt and Kitty helped me pick up the bags and walk out of the store.

"Are we done now then?" I asked, "I wasn't really planning on staying too long you know." Kitty just laughed.

"Done? No this is only the beginning!"

"The beginning?" I asked weakly, she nodded and dragged me deeper into the mall.

Three hours and five headaches later I stumbled in the mansion door, laden with bags. Kitty phased through the closing door behind me, carrying a large stack of bags and a few boxes.

"I still don't get what was wrong with those shoes." She said as I tried to remember the way to the empty room I had slept in.

"I think it's this way. They were pink, Kitty, with bows, and sparkles." I said Kitty shrugged.

"Yeah, I thought they were cute. No it's left at the top of the stairs, right's to the teacher's wing. We aren't allowed that way." I spun around, a little too quickly; my foot caught on the carpet and I ended up sprawled on the floor surrounded by bags. "You okay Frog?" Kitty asked, she had started using my nickname after I tripped and fell into a fountain decorated with floating lily pads.

"Yeah I'm fine, just peachy." I said, slipping on one of the plastic bag handles as I got up and ending up on the ground again. Kitty laughed and pulled me up. I grabbed my bags and walked a few doors down the left corridor.

"I think it's this one." I said, not really sure. Kitty walked over and phased her head through the door, she pulled it out smiling.

"Well it's empty. So if it's not the same room it's yours now!" I smiled and pushed open the door. We dumped the bags on the floor. It might have been my imagination but this room felt bigger than the other one. But I only ever saw that one in darkness or low light, so I pushed the thought away. Both rooms were bigger than a bedroom would normally be, and all of the rooms seemed to be near a bathroom of some kind. This place was designed with people in mind.

"Now we're back we can finish the tour!" Kitty said. "I wanted to show you the Library at least." I followed her out of the door, and just before I followed down the corridor I turned and stuck a small red paper flower to the doorframe near the bottom.

**Next time on CCC: The truth is somewhat revealed.**


	33. Philharmonic

**Again, Happy Birthday CCC! Here is the second post of the day! Do enjoy!**

Kitty led me to a set of double doors made from a dark red wood. She pushed one of them open and I slipped in after her, closing the door behind me. I was instantly shrouded in the silent, calming feel of the place common in good libraries. Kitty walked me quickly through the shelves, I spotted a student here and there, absorbed in reading or doing work.

"There's no librarian but we usually get on alright, as long as you put every book you take out back in the right place and make a note in the ledger for that week if you borrow one." I nodded. Kitty walked with me back to my room, I found the red paper flower and confirmed it, and helped me sort out the clothes.

"All this shopping and sorting made me hungry. You up for a snack?" Kitty asked me, stretching.

"Sure." I said, Kitty frowned minutely.

"You know, I think this room might just be over the kitchen." Kitty knelt down and phased part way through the floor, she popped back up with a smile on her face, still half in the floor. "Yep I was right, come on!" She grabbed my ankle and we sank through the floor. Kitty landed deftly on her feet, I landed in a heap on the floor. Someone chuckled softly, I looked up; I was Logan. He was sitting at the table drinking a K! Brand soft drink and reading the paper.

"Hey Half-pint, Frog." He said.

"Hi Logan." Kitty said.

"Hey." I grabbed a glossy green apple from a fruit bowl on the counter near me and bit into it, watching the trees outside the window shift in the wind.

"How long were you planning on staying then? You said it wasn't long but do you have more of an idea?" Kitty said to me as if continuing a conversation we were having, though no one had said anything. I shrugged and tossed my apple core into a nearby bin.

"Before I can go home I have to contact my friend and find a way back." No one other than Professor Xavier, Storm, and Jean knew where I really came from. I felt bad about not telling anyone the truth, though if things worked out I'd be gone in a day and they probably wouldn't see me until they came to my next party.

Which they would probably think was a dream and forget about. But I still felt bad about lying, so I made a mental note to ask the Professor if I could tell people next time I saw him.

_You can tell them. It would be best if you are here longer than planned if you could trust people and have people trust you. Tell Logan and Kitty now, Kurt and Rouge tonight if you can. I'll arrange for Scott to find you soon, maybe tomorrow. Good luck. _

I jumped when The Professor's voice echoed inside my head, and smiled at the message. I felt like I could trust Logan and I already trusted Kitty. I sat down at the table next to Kitty and a few seats down from Logan.

"Um, guys." They looked up. "I have something to tell you, about where I come from."

"What is it?" Logan asked.

"I'm not trying to get just anywhere. I live in a magical Ice castle situated on top of a floating cloud." They looked like they were going to interrupt me but I ploughed on. "I live there with my best friends; Oryx, and Alphonse and Edward Elric." Logan snorted.

"Yeah right. Sure."

"No really it's true. I can Port around the place." I Ported to the kitchen door and back to my seat. "And I can talk to the animals that live in The Dark Forest, I'm good friends with the wolf pack. I bend the rules of reality really easily there but not so much here. Nothing works the same here, Porting makes me tired." It made me hungry too, I grabbed another apple.

"Should we get Jean, have her head checked?" Logan asked Kitty. I growled in frustration; trying to think of something to convince them with. If I had my cliff it would have made a nice dramatic way too. I tried to appeal to Kitty.

"How do you think I got the card?" I said pulling the purple piece of plastic out of my pocket. Kitty stared at me. "I live my life every day by bending the rules of reality. Because it's my universe." Kitty stared at me some more. I put my head in my hands; trying to think of something, anything.

"I was once captured by the Nefarious Orange Muffins, NOM." I said, Logan snorted again. "It's true, then I was rescued by Lemon muffins but the ninjas kidnapped me as they were taking me home." He chuckled now. I kneaded my hands into my eyes, the lights that exploded behind my eyelids pulled me off balance and I toppled off my chair and onto the floor. I sighed and lay on the floor for a bit, missing my cliff now more than ever. I got up and sat back at the table.

We sat in silence as I tried to think and Logan and Kitty alternated between staring at me and sending each other meaningful looks. "I can control the Elements with my staff. " I tried, pulling the wooden staff out of its holder and focusing, nothing happened. "Well, I could…" I said putting the staff back, I suddenly mimed snapping my fingers.

"Got it!" I said loudly, reached up to my neck, and unclasped my Moon pendant. I focused on the pendant, hoping with all my might that what I was trying to do would work. The pendant's chain writhed up from where it was hanging limply like it was alive and snaked up my arm. The chain wrapped itself around my arm, pendant glowing, and welded its own ends together.

The pendant hung from the taut chain, shining with the light of the moon. Never again after that moment was I gladder that Soaring Leap had found this and brought it to me. I could see my reflection in the window opposite; my eyes were glowing silver and my hair was rising; like I was an anime character. I tapped the pendant once and it stopped glowing, unwound itself from my arm, and I clasped it back around my neck.

"Hallucinations." Logan said after a small silence.

"What?"

"You're a mutant and you're making us hallucinate all this stuff. " Logan said, again I appealed to Kitty.

"What about the Porting? The card?" I was racking my brain for anything else I could do to convince them. Kitty frowned at the table, thinking hard from her look. When she looked up at me she was smiling.

"I believe you." She said quietly, I hugged her.

"Thank you Kitty! Logan?" He sighed.

"Well, either you're tellin' the truth or your crazy and just think you're telling the truth, so I'll go with telling the truth. For now." He said eventually.

"Yes!" I cheered. "Two down, two more 'til tomorrow. Kurt and Rouge." I said when Kitty and Logan raised their eyebrows at me.

"Do you want to tell Kurt and Rouge now?" Kitty asked, I nodded.

"Yes indeed I do. Do you have any idea where they are?" She didn't, neither did Logan. They checked the first floor while I went to look on the second floor and somehow managed to fall into a bathtub that was for some odd reason full of water and in the middle of a dark hallway. I told them as much when we met up on the first floor again. They looked at each other and burst out laughing; I joined them, but then asked them why it was there.

"It was probably Kurt; he likes to do that kind of thing some of- okay all of the time." Kitty said, still giggling a little. "While we were walking around Logan heard that Kurt and Rouge were watching a movie with some of the other guys. Do you want to go see them now?" Kitty asked, I looked down at myself; I was dripping water all over the floor and was starting to shiver ever so slightly.

"Honestly I'd like to find a towel first." I said, wringing my hair out a little.

"I think we might have bought one today, see you Logan." I followed her out.

"Thanks Logan," I said over my shoulder as we walked, "this really helped."

I towelled myself dry in the bathroom while Kitty picked my clothes. Initially she was just going to 'supervise' but after a few disagreements she shooed me away from the chest of drawers and into the bathroom with a towel that she then threw at me.

Kitty handed me the clothes through the door, literally, and I pulled them on quickly. I walked out wearing a green sleeveless blouse and a long white cotton skirt with white sandals.

"Let's stay away from water this time, shall we?" Kitty said as we walked into the Rec. room. Rouge was reading a magazine on a squishy looking couch and Kurt was reading a book over on the window seat. Kitty walked over and plonked herself next to him, he looked up and grinned. I stood in the middle of the room, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Vhat is it Robyn?" Kurt asked, sensing my discomfort. I tried to breathe deeply to calm my nerves. It didn't work so I opened my mouth and forced myself to start talking.

"It's about how I came here and where I'm trying to get back to." I paused for a minute, then ploughed on. "My home is on top of a cloud, in a magic castle made from ice. I live there with my three best friends; Oryx Al, and Ed, Oryx has her own castle. The castle is in our own dimension and we control what's in it to a certain degree." Rouge snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah right sugar and I'm the Queen of England." She said, I looked down at the ground.

"Really, I'm telling the truth. I can Port anywhere I want to be and Oryx can summon people and things as well. When I have my staff I can control the Elements, Ed is teaching me Alchemy and I can make my Moon pendant glow and sometimes do stuff." Rouge flipped through her magazine.

"Right uh huh." She said sounding bored. Kurt looked at me curiously.

"Vhat exactly do you mean by Alchemy?" He asked. I picked up a piece of orange chalk from the floor, bending reality just slightly, and walked over to the wall next to the window and drew a transmutation circle on the panelling.

"I really hope this works." I said quietly to myself and pressed my hands to the circle, willing it to activate. The circle lit up with a faint red glow, the glow got brighter and a small puff of smoke appeared. An engraving of a castle, complete with a dragon clinging to a tower and sea serpents in the moat, was now etched into the wall panel.

I stepped back my limbs shaking from the strain. I looked at my carving and a thought floated into my head that I knew intuitively to be true; Alchemy didn't work there. I remembered how hard I had wanted it to work, how I had been wishing, and decided not to try and use it again. Kurt stood up from his seat and ambled up to stand close to my carving.

"You aren't gonna go all 'Perversion of god's creations' on me are you?" I asked somewhat hesitantly. Kurt swished his tail and smirked at me.

"I've heard more zhan enough about perversions of God's vorld." He said.

"So you believe me then?" I said to Rouge and Kurt. They nodded.

"Ja, does zhe Professor know?" Kurt asked I nodded. Rouge shrugged.

"Yeah alright." I cheered.

"Speaking of Xavier, do you think he'd mind if I left the castle on the wall?" Everyone shrugged.

"Can't see why not." Rouge said. I smiled and stared at the castle as the others drifted off to different parts of the room. I'd been away from my own castle for more than a day. Would Ed be worried? Would he be looking for me yet?

"Frog?" Fingers snapped in front of my eyes, I looked up; it was Kitty. "You were, like, spaced out."

"Right, thanks." Suddenly I just wanted to curl up in a little ball somewhere dark. "I'll see you later Kitty, I'm gonna go rest…" I muttered as I walked quickly out of the Rec. room in the direction that I hoped would lead me to my room. After getting lost twice, bursting into tears and pulling myself together again, and walking in circles for ten minutes I found the door with its red paper flower and stumbled inside. I stepped over a few remaining shopping bags and boxes and collapsed onto my bed. I wriggled under the covers and curled up into a ball.

I squeezed my eyes closed, but the tears I was trying to prevent came out anyway. I wanted to tell them all that I was alright. I wanted to be able to contact Peanut. What with the shopping and the meeting new people and the getting hopelessly lost all the time I had barely even started think up any ideas about how I could get in touch with her. I was sobbing now, images of Ed Al and Oryx reeling through my mind. I curled up tighter, my body heaving with sobs, missing them terribly. I heard footsteps and, with a great effort, controlled my sobbing.

They paused at the door, then moved on. I sniffed, running out of tears now. I rubbed the ring Howl gave my with my finger, wondering what would happen if I called Ed. The thought of Ed not even knowing in what direction I was, or if I was even still alive made me start crying again. I pulled myself out of it quicker that time, forcing myself to stop and berating myself mentally for breaking down.

With all that I still lay under the covers in a tight ball. I heard the door to my room open and close softly, and shifted slightly; moving deeper towards the end of my bed. Whoever it was walked almost silently across the room and sat down on the edge of the mattress. A hand was placed gently on my shoulder.

"You miss zhem." It was Kurt; there was no mistaking that accent. I pushed the blankets off of my head and sat up. The blue furry demon-doppelganger was sitting on the end of the bed looking at me with concern evident in his golden eyes.

"They won't know what happened to me. Or where I am, or if I'm okay, or…" I trailed off, swallowing more tears. Kurt placed his hand on my shoulder. "They might not even have noticed yet. I almost hope they haven't. Just to save them a little bit of time when they're not worried."

If they even get worried that is, I continued silently. They'd have to check with Peanut and in The Dark Forest before even beginning to get worried, and they couldn't check properly anyway because I have to be there to get them out.

"Ed and I have these rings that help us find each other. I don't know what'll happen if I try and use it. And I'm scared of what they'll think if the try it and it just doesn't do anything and I just want to talk to them and…" I trailed off again.

"You feel helpless." Kurt finished quietly, I sniffed.

"Yeah."

"You just vant zhem to know zhat you're doing alright." He slipped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in his warm fur. When Kurt pulled back he gripped my shoulders and stared fiercely into my eyes. "You vill see zhem again. Just keep repeating zhat to yourself." I nodded an affirmation, actually feeling a whole lot better.

"I will Kurt, thank you. I feel a lot better now. I'm sorry. I shouldn't just dump my problems on other people." He shook his head.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Kleine." He said, "Oh, and never doubt zhe Fuzzy One when it comes to making people feel better." I chuckled, at that moment Kitty phased her head through the door.

"Hey Frog, dinner's ready! Oh, there you are Kurt! Come on guys!" She phased through the floor and into the kitchen below. I stood up.

"And now I have to find my way down there." I said, Kurt held out a hand.

"Not necessarily," he said, I smirked and took his hand. We vanished in a puff of indigo smoke. The sensation was different to that of Porting, it was more like I was moving forward than the gentle tug sideways Porting had, it was also a good deal more nauseating.

Red flashed in front of my eyes during the light-speed journey. We appeared in the kitchen with another cloud of smoke. I jumped out, posing theatrically.

"See! You can do a lot with smoke!" I declared. Kurt laughed as he walked over to the table. I took the other empty seat and sat for a minute to try clear my head and get rid of the rolling feeling in my stomach. The only ones at the table were the X-Men, so I didn't have to be introduced to anyone. No one really talked to me much either.

This suited me fine, I wanted to think about the conversation I just had. I was staring blankly at the same glass of milk for the entire meal and for a further five minutes after everyone else left the table. I only looked up when Bobby snapped his fingers under my nose.

"What's with you? You were, like, spaced out." He said.

"Sorry, I must just be tired. I'm going to bed." Bobby didn't look entirely convinced but he nodded anyway.

"Goodnight." He said.

"Night." I drained the glass and wandered out of the kitchen and up to my room.

_I was hanging from a rope. It was tied like a harness with my ankles and wrists tied together with separate bits of rope. I was hanging from the ceiling of a tall metal-panelled room. Below me on the silver-grey ground were small figures clad in red uniforms. They sat in small circles, of about four or five, the shapes coming together to form on large circle. I struggled, kicking the air, but the ropes held as tight as ever. _

_The ropes began to loosen suddenly, like they'd been cut. They unravelled completely, and instead of falling, I floated to the ground. Three red dressed people came and stood around me. They sat down, cross-legged, but leaving a gap. I walked over to it on red shoed feet and sat down, crossing my red clad legs. _

**Next time on CCC: Education is Subjective…**


	34. Vichyssoise

**First, I would like to apologise for the ridiculous amount of time between posts. I'm really very sorry. Second; I have recently been replacing the chapters before this one with newer ones, there's no real change to the over all plot, just editing that I did while writing other things. I was pondering over the chapter lengths so don't be surprised if CCC suddenly goes down in length by a few.**

"I have to what?" I said, staring at Kitty with a spoonful of cereal suspended halfway to my mouth.

"Professor X said that he'd look for your friend Peanut today in Cerebro and since it might take a while and you'll have, like, nothing to do you should come to classes with everyone. We don't have too many, especially lately. Only Logan, Storm, Scott, and Xavier teach, though Xavier won't be teaching today and Scott doesn't teach much in the first place. Logan takes the Danger Room sessions too, with Storm there watching usually. Which I guess you can join in on too if you want."

"What classes do they teach?" I asked.

"Little bit of everything, The Professor wants his X-Men to be able to re-join society as educated young people if they should so choose. So they swap off a lot." I shrugged, it sounded pretty normal to me. "Professor also said that if you want he'll tell Scott for you, he's really good at that kind of stuff." I nodded at this.

"I suppose I'm overdue for some schooling. What do you guys do the rest of the time when you're not in class?" I asked, making a mental note to think up ways to get home, and try and map out the area of the mansion directly around my room.

"Whatever we feel like, as long as it doesn't hurt someone or break anything." I sighed.

"When do we start?" I asked resignedly, Kitty grinned.

"Eight thirty. Storm's taking a workshop on gardening." I looked up at the clock on a nearby wall; it was eight o'clock now. "We should get going soon." Kitty said, I followed her out of the kitchen, wondering what gardening had to do with scholarly exploits, aside from being a useful skill. Storm instructed us on basic garden care and a few specific plants.

I didn't say much, and stayed mostly up the back of the group. As no one really said anything to or about me suddenly being there I decided not to bring it up or introduce myself. It was the same with the next timeslot; Scott was talking about the inside of his car's motor. Though I got some smiles and a wave there. After that was Lunch, then everyone had the afternoon off.

"Classes have been so weird lately. We hardly have any." Rouge said as we walked down the open grass lawn with Evan, Kitty, and Kurt.

"I know, we're lucky, well not really, if we get four a week." Evan agreed. "Most of the time we're just hanging around, not that I'm complaining. I just hope it doesn't get to the stage where the Professor decides to send us to that high school in town; I know they've been thinking about it." We settled under a large tree next to the basketball court where Bobby was taking shots. Kurt swung straight up into the branches, and Kitty leant against the trunk with a book.

Bobby noticed us and jogged over to invite us to play, Kurt and Kitty politely declined, Rouge and Evan agreed enthusiastically, I enquired if he had a death wish. He tried to convince us for a little bit longer, but no one was listening, Kitty was engrossed in her Murder mystery, and Kurt looked asleep. Though how he could have fallen asleep while hanging upside down from a tree branch high above the ground puzzled me.

I moved a small distance away from the tree after the three of them started playing and lay down on the ground, enjoying the feeling of the grass against my skin and losing myself in the rustle of wind in the leaves. Cloud was all very well and good but I did kind of miss the feeling of growing green grass of my skin.

"You're new, right?" I looked up slowly at the sound of the voice, my mind fuzzy. A girl with long black ragdoll curls and clear green eyes was standing in front of me, smiling in a friendly way. She sat down on the grass next to me. "I'm Kathy by the way."

"Yeah, I'm new." I said slowly, "I'm Robyn." Kathy looked around, spotting Kitty and Kurt.

"You're hanging around with them?" She said, mouth twitching a little as she raised an eyebrow disbelievingly.

"Yeah, why's it matter?"

"Well... it's just, Kurt's so… strange. Even for a school full of mutants, he looks all scary and stuff. And Kitty; everyone always says how weird she is, and she hangs out with Kurt." I frowned and tried to come up with something to say that wouldn't confuse her too much. As she obviously would be if I used too many polysyllabic words in succession.

"Kurt can't help how he looks any more than you could when you were born. Any more than you could help being a mutant. And I for one have never seen Kitty do a single strange thing."

"Yet." Kathy said darkly, watching Kurt sway gently.

"Though I'm not sure how much I'd notice if she did do anything weird." I continued, twirling a small twig in my hands.

"What, why?"

"Oh what with my mother being a hairdryer and my father running our home like it was a Laundromat while he hunted the skies for my brother's flying saucer. My brother's name was Polyethylene, you know, he flew off with the aliens when I was just a little kid." Kathy stared at me blankly.

"Yeah, then of course one night while Dad was out looking at the stars a giant moth fell out of the sky and crushed him, the resulting shockwave turning me into a curry chicken pie. It took a few days to wear off, after which- Hey where are you going?" While I was speaking Kathy had got to her feet and she was backing away from me slowly.

"I have to be going now." She said and ran off very fast in the opposite direction. I smiled blandly at Kitty and Kurt when I noticed them staring.

"What did you do to Kathy? She looked terrified."

"I have no idea, we were having a perfectly normal conversation and she just ran off. That girl is kind of strange."

"She was probably warning you how weird we were right?" Kitty asked I shrugged.

"She might have said something about it. But I showed her, oh yes…" I chuckled evilly. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Do I vant to know?" He asked Kitty shook her head.

"No. No you don't." Kitty replied as I continued to chuckle. I suddenly had the urge to climb the tree Kurt was hanging from. I scrambled up into it and made my way slowly to the branch he was on. I walked slowly down it stepping carefully over his tail and sat next to him.

"Do you guys think Professor Xavier's found Peanut yet?" I asked swinging my legs.

"If he hasn't yet he will soon. Only one person in the world can hide from Cerebro." Kitty assured me.

"Ja, he can find absolutely anyone." Kurt chimed in. I wondered idly if being in a different world and dimension would affect Cerebro. "But, how will finding this friend help you get home?" Kurt asked.

"Peanut's pretty good at inter-dimensional travel. I'm hoping that she can get me home if I could just contact her somehow." I explained, watching an ant run up my arm. Rouge, Bobby, and Evan had finished their basketball game and were wandering back over.

"Was that Kathy I saw running away earlier?" Bobby asked, smirking a little, we all nodded.

"What'd y'all do to her?" Rouge asked, I smiled.

"Why nothing at all, we were just talking." I failed at looking innocent.

"I'm certainly not complaining, the girl hates me." Evan put in.

"Her loss, our gain." I closed my eyes and swayed gently with the tree, the conversation drifting into the background. I heard Kurt shift his grip, felt him swing upwards and opened my eyes. He was perched neatly on the branch next to me.

"It's going to rain." He said, looking up at the sky.

"You think? We should head inside then." We dropped out of the tree, Kurt went to tell Kitty and I dragged Bobby and Rouge behind me. Evan followed them, laughing at their loud arguments.

As soon as we were inside the mansion the clouds cracked open in a burst of thunder and lightning and rain started pouring down. People started running for the mansion and wringing out clothes and hair when they reached its warm interior.

"Those clouds came in pretty fast." Bobby commented watching the rain beat the windows. The others agreed, Rouge reminding us that it was spring and sudden weather changes were to be expected. Now we all had to find something to do inside. Logan strolled up to our huddled group, discussing our options, and suggested a Danger Room session. Kurt, who was getting downright twitchy with all the pent up energy, liked this idea. I voted for it as well, never having seen one.

Everyone else but Evan agreed to come along; he decided to spend some quality time with the television. I followed the incomplete X-Men to their elevator and underground tunnels with curiosity brimming. At first Logan set me at watching and observing. I did so with interest, watching the team dodge their way through spinning blades and spurts of fire as they took out robotic enemies or battled against holograms.

In teams or alone, they were all formidable. When Logan decided I had watched enough he threw me a uniform, kind of bumblebee styled all black and yellow, and told the team to assemble on the Observation Deck.

"This next exercise is team based, one team only. Hanging near the roof up there at one end of the room is a small black bag. Can you see it? No? Good, it'll make it more interesting. Inside that bag are five normal rocks. When you reach the bag pull out one rock for yourself and bring it to the other end of the room and drop it in the box.

"While you're crossing the room you cannot be hit by anything, unless it's a droid; you have to fight those, or drop your rock. If you do any of those things you bring it back and do it again. When your rock's in the box you leave. Before then you can help everyone else or whatever. Oh, and I wouldn't teleport in this one, Elf." Leaving everyone hanging about the meaning of his last remark Logan ushered us out of the room.

We filed into the Danger Room main floor area, looking around for the bag. Kurt saw it hanging high up a wall and pointed it out to the rest of us. The team tried a few strategies to get at it, jumping, building small human towers.

I tried to Port up to it but I ran into another barrier and ended up on the ground again. This one was slightly different from the one around my dimension. I could see them in my mind; contrasting.

The one around my dimension had a red tint to it and stopped me from Porting in there, and maybe Oryx from Porting out to this dimension. This barrier had a more general feel and blue streaks mixed in with light pink.

I looked at Kurt after I got to my feet; he seemed to have discovered the barrier too. Abandoning his attempts he ran full speed towards the wall and catapulted himself up the vertical surface.

He snatched the bag off of the hook and dropped lightly back to the ground in front of us. As soon as his hand closed around the bag things started moving. Laser cannons ascended out of the floor and started firing. Kurt handed out rocks and we started to run for the other side.

First I tried the obvious Porting, but more barriers were set out in a grid pattern all over the room; making it impossible. I watched Kitty run smoothly straight through a laser cannon that slid out of the floor directly in front of her, and Bobby freeze another one in a solid block of ice just as it was about to fire. The ice held for a little bit, enough for him and Rouge to run by it, but it shot through the ice just before I got to it. Thanks to the ninjas I managed to just barely dodge the laser and fell down while doing it.

Kurt flipped straight over every shot fired his way and slid nimbly under the burst of fire from the flamethrower embedded in the wall. Without missing a beat he ran on, Kitty just behind him as the shots slid through her. I ran along as best I could, wishing constantly and desperately that my Elemental staff would suddenly be working.

Kurt made it seven eighths of the way across the room before he got clipped by a lucky laser shot. He sped back, slapped the wall, and tried again. This time he tried a new tactic and swung himself up onto the wall and ran straight across it. In no time he was dropping his rock into the box.

A whistle sounded and he strolled out, waving jauntily. Kitty was right behind him in dropping her rock in with a small clang. A whistle sounded for her too and she walked out of the Danger Room, sending us all an encouraging smile.

Droids were beginning to appear all over the room now. I stood still, watching them approach and fingering the river-bottom smooth stone clutched in my hand. The droids were shiny silver with slim limbs, proportioned heads, and precise movements.

One of them swung at me and I ducked, but got caught by its foot a split second later. I rolled over and tried to kick its legs out fro underneath it, the robot stumbled momentarily and I slid past.

Scrambling to my feet I ran as fast as I could through the small army of robots. I was just over halfway when one of them reached out and slapped me full across the face. It floored me and made my rock slip out of my hand and go skittering across the floor. I snatched it up and ran back to the beginning. I whacked the wall with my hand and started running again.

Bobby dropped his rock in the box as I hit the wall, I heard the whistle go. It was just me and Rouge left now, the droids were increasing. Rouge was just ahead of me, fighting furiously against the droids while dodging laser blast and spurts of fire. She moved slowly across the room as I went back to the starting wall three more times.

Getting more and more frustrated every time I had to go back. When Rouge reached the far wall she hung around for a bit, knocking back the occasional droid.

"Just go!" I yelled over the noise. Rouge waivered above the box, but she released her rock and left the room to the whistle. I tried to duck around a small group of robots and got kicked in the stomach. I fell to the ground and dropped my rock again. I was getting very worn out and very angry. The Danger Room ceiling had started dropping rocks which had to be dodged.

I kicked the wall and bounced off it, barrelling through a tight group of droids with the momentum.

I was nearly at the box when I was confronted with a wall of droids, impenetrable and threatening. I skidded to a halt but dived to the side moments later out of the path of a spinning serrated circular blade. The droids parted a little to let it through I tried to dive for the opening but they closed it and one of them punched me in the face.

Next I tried to run through or around the droids; picking spots that looked a little weaker or had a slightly bigger space and diving for them. They responded enough to back me off after each fresh attack but they never broke their line. This infuriated me even more so I started yelling at the droids.

"Would you just move out of the way!" I screeched, waving my free right hand around wildly in the air. The droids didn't move an inch. I pulled my useless Elemental Staff from its holster and looked at it. It hadn't yet worked when I tried to use it here, but what did I have to lose? I pulled my moon pendant off and set it into the depression. The staff elongated to its full height as golden-white light flared and the chain rose up, twirling itself around the now pale white wood and entwining in the silver metal.

As if they knew what was happening the small army of droids standing in front of me started to move towards me. I raised my staff and the milky white stone glowed even brighter as a wind whipped up and blew the droids off of their feet and away from me.

I ran lightly through the wreckage and dropped my rock in the box with a satisfying clunk. The whistle sounded for the last time and I ran through the door out of the Danger Room. The X-Men were standing in the small room I found there.

"What in the heck was that?" Rouge asked bluntly.

"My Elemental Staff." I said slowly, tapping the moon stone, which stopped glowing and the chain unwound from the wood. As I clasped it back around my neck I noticed how much I was shaking. I felt drained, and very tired.

"But it never worked before, what happened this time?" Logan asked as I sank onto a nearby bench.

"I honestly have no idea." I replied, "I got mad and it suddenly was working."

"Remind me not to make you mad." Kitty said, I chuckled.

"Okay let's hit the showers people." Logan said briskly, I followed everyone else out of the room. We showered and changed out of the uniforms, mine went to Logan again.

"Are you okay Robyn? You look a little pale." Kitty said concernedly, I shrugged.

"I'm really tired that's all, I need a nap. I'll see you guys at dinner?" Kitty nodded, Rouge informed me that if they didn't see me she'd organise the search party to look for my lost butt.

"Your confidence in me is truly astounding." I said dryly. I was slowly, very slowly building a map of the mansion in my head. Just the general area around my room first. I did not, however, have any kind of reference point for the lower levels. So, accordingly, when I returned to the surface I was utterly and completely lost.

**Next time on CCC: Getting lost becomes harder than ever before.**


	35. Kinkakuji

**I don't know when this will actually get posted, because for this to make sense I have to repost the entire story.**

At first I handled it like I had in Central Headquarters in Amestris; by picking randomly which corridor to turn into or which door to go through.

This, unsurprisingly, just caused me to become even more lost than I was before, and as an added bonus it frustrated me to all get out. The halls were crowded with students sheltering from the rain but none of them stopped to tell me where I was.

My body was aching, my legs were protesting with every step I took down the ever accursed hallways and my head was beginning to pound. I rounded a corner into yet another hallway and spotted something green at the far end.

Walking up to it, I discovered that it was a small paper cut-out of a frog with an arrow drawn on it in black marker. The arrow was pointing down the hallway to my right. I stood looking at it for a while, debating over whether or not following it was a good idea. I decided that following some form of directions was infinitely better than picking at random. I turned the corner and immediately saw another frog on the wall to my left, pointing down the hall.

Halfway down yet another frog directed me down a side hallway lined with large vases full of flowers and large windows. I found a frog stuck to the door at the end of the hallway and slipped through it.

The frogs led me through hallway after hallway, door after door, and once through what I suspected was a secret passageway. Sometimes it seemed as if I almost recognised where I was but then I would turn another corner and be lost all over again. It wasn't until I was standing outside a door marked with an arrowless paper frog and a red paper flower that I recognised the hallway leading to my room.

I smiled at my inept sense of direction and mental mapping skills as I opened the door and walked inside. I slid my staff under my bed and climbed into it myself. Sleep slid into my mind, making my thoughts fuzz. I sank into the welcoming restive blank.

"Frog! Food!" A voice floated through my sleeping mind. My eyes fluttered open I rolled over, and fell out of my bed and onto the floor. I was lying at someone's feet, I rolled over; it was Kitty. Still phased halfway through the floor, so I was really lying at her waist. "Come on!" she said grabbing my hand and phasing back through the floor and into the kitchen.

This time I managed to flip over as we fell and land on my feet. I sat in the same seat that I had last night, in fact everyone did. The food was similar; a beautiful home cooked meal by Storm. But the atmosphere was different; it didn't have the same weight.

I got into the conversation and enjoyed it. Though I had been sleeping just previously, when the meal was over I was tired and ascended again to my bedroom. Along the way I followed yet more green paper frogs with arrows drawn this time in red marker. I crawled back into bed and sank into the fortress of my subconscious.

And so time went by, days turned to one week, then another, and still another. I made friends, and good ones too, but something never clicked. I was surrounded by the unique and special, but I still felt out of place. Kurt and Kitty and Rouge were my friends and companions.

_I was standing on clouds. I could see my castle! In the distance, shining brightly. I stretched out a hand towards it but collided with the barrier. Red-tinged and extending as far as I could see in any direction. _

_I turned away, and I was in the Danger Room facing the grid of light pink blue-streaked barriers. Again I turned and saw the castle. Turn, Danger Room. Turn, castle. Turn. _

I sat up fast, my eyes snapping open and roving around the room. What did that mean? The barrier around the castle was specific; to me. Could someone else get through it? I thought it over, running the facts through my mind. It fit; getting into my dimension by a means other than Porting would get me in.

But who could do that? My mind sparked and I shot out of bed. I scrabbled underneath it for my Elemental Staff, slipped on the holster, and sprinted for the door. I slowed momentarily to open and close it quietly and went flying down the hall is search of a Blue Elf.

The dorms were gender separated, half and half or so, so I knew where I was going. I bolted through the door separating the wing halves and stopped short, I had no idea where Kurt lived. Did he room with someone? A memory tugged at the back of my mind, a conversation with Rouge during the extended tour on my second day.

"_And Kurt and Evan live over there. That one; twelve doors up on the right hand side."_

Twelfth door, right hand side. I started running again; counting the doors as they slid by me. Ten, eleven, twelve. I skidded to a halt in front of the door, raised a hand, prayed to Jed this was the right room, and rapped on the wood.

I waited, silent, for some sound. Hearing nothing I knocked again. This time I heard someone inside the room shift around. A light went on and I heard footsteps. The door swung open and I was greeted by a bleary and annoyed-looking Evan.

"What are you doing here? At this time of night?" He asked.

"Is Kurt here? I have to talk to him." Evan raised his eyebrows at me but walked back into the room. I shifted slightly to the left and watched him walk to his roommate's side and shake him.

"Yo, Fuzzy dude, wake up." Kurt opened his eyes and sat up.

"Vhat is it?" He said groggily.

"Frog wants to talk to you." Kurt's eyes flicked to me standing in the doorway. He slipped out of bed and padded across the room towards me. He was wearing black shorts and no shirt; I supposed with fur he wouldn't need much else. On the way to the door he grabbed a white short sleeved shirt off of a chair and pulled it over his head.

"Guten Abend, strange time for a call."

"I think I know how to get back home." I said in one breath. Kurt's confused face broke into a warm smile.

"And you need zhe Fuzzy one to complete zhis plan?"

"Indeed I do. There's a barrier around my dimension that I can't get past. But I have fairly good reason to believe that it wouldn't stop you; so I need you to do the teleporting while I steer." Kurt thought about this for about five seconds.

"Sounds like a vell thought out plan in vhich nothing can go wrong!" He said sarcastically cheerfully. I poked him with my staff.

"Hey, so will you help me?"

"I vould love to, but I can't teleport anywhere I can't see or don't know well, I might end up inside a vall." He replied, I lapsed into thought.

"What if we took Kitty? That way even if we did somehow land in something, scary thought that, she can phase us out right?" That might work, I really hoped so.

"Zhat could work." Kurt started. "But-"

"Then let's go ask!" I said enthusiastically and grabbed his wrist and pulled him after me until he started running. Of course, typically, I got lost very quickly.

"You know where we're going right?" I asked Kurt, he rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm and we appeared outside a door that looked remarkable like every other door in the mansion.

"This is it?" I said, he nodded and I reached out and started knocking on the door. I kept up a consistent sound this time and the door was yanked open by an annoyed looking Rouge.

"What is your problem? Oh, hi Frog, what're you doin' here?" she said, surprised.

"We need to talk to Kitty." I said, the girl in question popped into view at the sound of her name, dressed for sleep in short shorts and an oversized black shirt.

"What is it?" She asked, yawning.

"I think Kurt can teleport me back home but we'd like to take you with us so we don't die if we end up in something solid." I said bluntly, Kitty looked at Kurt for confirmation, and he nodded.

"Sure I'll help; just let me put on some warmer pants." She disappeared and Rouge leant against the doorframe.

"Think you'll be comin' back any time soon?" she asked.

"If this works absolutely, if it doesn't you're still stuck with me so either way yes, I'm coming back." I replied. Kitty ran out with warmer clothes on now.

"Shall ve get going zhen?" Kurt asked, I nodded and held out my hand. He took it and Kitty took his other hand, there was a pause, and then we disappeared in a cloud of black blue-smoke.

Again we passed through areas of red and black. We were speeding along; over the ground. Then we were floating in a black space, darkness on all sides. We weren't standing on anything, just floating. I gasped in shock, and heard Kitty do the same.

My grip on Kurt tightened as I held out my ring and focused. I felt a small and scarily weak tug at my heart and the beam of golden light like the sun's rays shot into the black void.

"Well looks like it's that way." My voice echoed, only in a muted way. Kurt nodded, closed his eyes and we vanished again. This time it was like we were being drawn by a string through the black void, in a split second we flew through black, white, and black again.

I focused on the light leading me onwards and always holding onto Kurt. The three of us appeared with a soft 'bamf' and the usual a cloud of sulphuric smoke; in the Entrance Hall to my castle.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, do you have any ice-cream in there? 

I stood frozen; staring around at the high ceilinged room like I had never seen it before and dropping Kurt's hand.

"We did it." I whispered. Kurt blinked and looked around with a quiet sort of curiosity, Kitty walked around and stood next to me. "You guys are the best!" I burst out suddenly, hugging her and then Kurt. I grabbed both of their hands and ran up the stairs. "Come on! I want you both to meet Ed!" They followed behind me as I ran through the castle halls, saying nothing as we checked the bedrooms, kitchen, refrigerator, and Main Hall.

"Yet you kept getting hopelessly lost in zhe Mansion." Kurt remarked with a mischievous grin as we sped up the stairs leading to the library.

"So I have no sense of direction, sue me. Anyway; I live here." I said as we slid through the door to the library first floor. "If he's nowhere else he'll be in here somewhere." I said as we started walking through the shelves in search of the misplaced alchemist. The first floor was empty of all life forms, as was the second.

"How many floors are in this place?" Kitty asked, I shrugged.

"Last count was six, but another one might have appeared or something." Both Kitty and Kurt stared blankly at me as I stuck my head into the reading room just off the third floor.

Inside a small blonde figure was standing at the window. When the door opened they turned around. My eyes met golden ones and I stepped away from the other two and walked slowly across the small room. I stopped in front of Ed and we looked wordlessly at each other.

"I'm back." I said quietly and slipped my arms around him and hugged him close to me. I hugged him tighter than I had anyone ever before. Ed's arms slid around my waist and pulled me even closer to him.

I stepped out of his arms and gestured to Kitty and Kurt; who were standing by the door, Kurt with a smirk on his face, Kitty looking over her shoulder at the library. "Ed this is Kurt and Kitty; they helped me get back. Guys, this is Edward Elric." Ed walked past me and shook the two's hands when he reached them.

"Vagner, Kurt Vagner, but in zhe Munich circus I vas known as zhe Incredible Nightcrawler." I giggled; the three of them looked over at me.

"Nothing, continue." I said, snickering a little. I noticed the desk next to the window Ed had been standing at was strewn with papers and books, I walked over to it. I sifted through the paper; the top pile was equations and what looked to be notes on alchemy.

What they meant, or even said, was far beyond me, I couldn't read Ed's handwriting even when he wasn't writing about complex alchemy. Under the notes were sketches of transmutation circles with more notes around them. I heard Ed laugh from behind me and turned away from the desk and walked over to him and Kurt and Kitty.

"Thank you so much, I really don't know how I can thank you enough." I said to Kurt and Kitty.

"Bitte schön Kleine." His tail swished and I grinned.

"Happy to help." Kitty said.

"Hey would you two mind meeting a few people before you go home?" I asked, Kitty shook her head.

"I'd be honoured." She said, Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Okay then, let's go see Oryx." Ed said, and Ported us to her castle. Both her and Al were very happy to see me, and I them. They thanked Kurt and Kitty profusely and insisted on keeping them both there for a very early breakfast. After the meal we discussed our plans on sending Kurt and Kitty back home again.

"All we have to do is get rid of the barrier and we can send you back. Since I have to guide you and I can't get in if the barrier's still here." I said, Kurt nodded, Ed looked confused.

"Barrier, what barrier?" He asked.

"The one around our entire dimension, it stopped me from Porting back." I explained, Ed looked slightly less confused now.

"How do we break this barrier then?" I frowned as I thought.

"Well, you could try with Alchemy." I suggested Ed was fine with this plan so we traipsed down the cloud to the nearest barrier wall. It seemed that in my dimension you could see the barriers. This one cut through some cloud and a little edge of the Forest.

As Ed set up to try and break it down I wondered why this one was so close to the castles and why they hadn't noticed it before. Ed clapped his hands and pressed them to the barrier's shimmering surface. The red tinged energy field flickered and almost faded.

Ed dropped to his knees, still keeping his hands pressed to the wall. I stepped forward and held out a hand, but Kurt stopped me from getting any closer.

"Zhat vould not be a good idea." He said quietly. The barrier gave one last defying shimmer before it faded out of existence. Ed fell forward and I ran over to him. "Are you alright?" I asked the shaking Alchemist.

"Never better." He said, I helped him to his feet and turned to Kurt and Kitty.

"You ready to go back?" They nodded and I dashed forward quickly and, grasping their hands, focused on my memories of the Mansion's grounds. I felt the sideways tug and the three of us landed on soft grass before Ed could take a step towards us.

I felt bad about leaving him behind, but I wanted to say goodbye to the people who had taken me in when I turned up out of the blue without thinking twice about it.

Kurt, Kitty and I walked up the steps to the Mansion and in the front door with the sun rising behind our backs. The Professor was waiting for us in the foyer with Rouge, Jean, Bobby, Scott, Storm, Logan, and Evan.

"So you got back then?" Xavier said, smiling, I nodded and smiled back.

"But how on Earth did you manage it?" Storm asked I pointed to Kurt.

"Kurt and Kitty got me home." I said, "We teleported there." The X-Men exclaimed happily. Xavier continued to smile proudly.

"I'll try and come visit you guys, I had a lot of fun here." I promised the group at large. I thanked Kurt and hugged Kitty one last time and focused on my far away castle.

**Next time on CCC: Mirror image takes on a whole new meaning.**


	36. Two Words

**I'm also partaking in this flurry of activity to make up for the two weeks in the near future in which I will be totally unable to post even if I remembered that I really wanted to. As I shall be leaving on an overseas trip in just three weeks.**

Lead, follow, stand, sit. Do something other than back flips please! 

"Would you turn that down please! I'm trying to sleep!" Ed yelled. I looked up from my book. He was standing at the door to one of the sitting rooms and he looked mad. I picked up the remote next to me and pointed it at the stereo; Uranus, the Magician from Holst's The Planets descended to a bearable level.

"What was that Ed? That music was a little loud." I said Ed glowered at me and walked back out of the room. It was currently eleven at night and I was still too happy to be back home to sleep. I was curled up in a chair with a book soaking in the feel of my castle again.

Al and Oryx had come over for a while but they had to get some sleep. I stayed up until I finished my book, two hours later. I sat on my bed cross-legged in the early hours of the morning, listening to nothing in particular. I started when Hayashi jumped up onto my lap.

"Hey there Yashi." I whispered, he hadn't come to visit the castle since I vanished according to Ed and I was glad to see him. Hayashi mewed quietly at me and nudged me in the direction of my pillow. "What, are you my mother now? Fine I'll sleep." I slid between the familiar covers and fell asleep with Hayashi's purrs in my ears.

You cancelled the what?

_The party of the liberation of all stick insects._

"I'm bored Edo-kun! This is boring, come up with something fun to do!" Ed looked over the top of his book disdainfully.

"You sound like a two-year old. A really whiny one."

"Aww, you're mean." I crossed my arms over my chest and sat down huffily on the library floor. Silence enveloped the library for a full five seconds. "Hey Ed?" I whispered, he looked up again, glaring at me.

"What is it, Frog?" He asked warily, I took a deep breath.

"What are you reading! Is it good? Is it interesting! It looks thick and boring! Is it thick and boring! 'Cause it looks like it is!" Ed snapped the book shut and glowered fiercely at me. He stood up and pushed me towards and out of the library door.

"Just go away and find someone else to annoy! I'm trying to work!" He said angrily and shut the door loudly.

"Fine!" I said snippily, sighed, and meandered off down the hall in the general direction of the bathroom; maybe Jack won't be working so hard. But he was. When I tapped the mirror and Halloween Town swam into view all I got was a "Can't talk now, busy!" called from another room. I tapped the mirror off again and leant against the shower stall to my right. I stared blankly at my reflection in the mirror, zoning out.

But when it blinked without me blinking first I naturally jumped backwards, my reflection did the same. Curious, and wondering if I had imagined it, I leant in close to the mirror and waved my arm around experimentally. The reflection copied it, just like it had always done. Because it was simply my image reflected back at me; nothing special.

But then it blinked again. Knowing I hadn't imagined it this time I stretched out my hand and tentatively touched the shiny surface. A bright light flashed and I flinched back, dropping my hand. I was standing exactly where I was before, but something was off. First of all, my reflection's hand hadn't dropped at all; it was still outstretched towards the mirror.

Slowly the reflections hand drew back from the mirror and down to its side. It smiled in a definitely creepy way as I stared transfixed. I watched in silent awe as the figure turned and walked quickly to the door and reached out to open it. The reflection did it slowly, as if they were afraid it wasn't going to open, and when the door swung open the smile on their face grew from creepy to downright terrifying.

My reflection walked back over to stand in front of the mirror. We stood there watching one another for what seemed like a millennia before my reflection finally spoke.

"Hello Frog, my name is Courtney." Its, or her, voice was an exact copy of mine. A mirror image I suppose you could say. Her voice was like a slap in the face; I reeled backwards, stumbling towards my left; towards the door. But instead of my hands finding the cool metal handle I ran headlong into the shower stall. I cried out in shock and stumbled backwards again, running into the door this time. I heard the reflection, Courtney, laughing and faced the mirror again.

"What's going on?" I said, my voice shaking and whispery. Courtney giggled almost hysterically.

"I've been waiting for this chance for so long!" she said gleefully. "Ever since I got stuck inside that mirror all I wanted was to get out. Oh yes, a mirror. You're inside a mirror." Again she giggled, bordering on manically this time.

"And you'll never get out; because you don't know how. And even if you did you wouldn't be able to. So why don't you just make yourself comfortable and I'll be sure to come back and give you regular updates on how I'm ruining your life for you. Have fun! Oh, and don't even entertain the hope that anyone other than me'll be able to see you, because they won't. Bye now!"

And with this last comment she darted out of the door and closed it behind her.

I stared after her for a while before my brain kicked back somewhat into gear and I ran, to my right, to the door. But no matter how hard I tugged it wouldn't open. The handle wouldn't even turn. I looked around the room, it was just a bathroom. I

t was pretty ordinary as bathrooms go, very white and clean looking. I asked the minions a little while ago if they wouldn't mind giving the castle a bit of a clean every now and then if it took their fancy. Turns out that they're very appreciative of a clean living space so the castle stays pretty spotless. Though they mostly leave any cooking utensils I use and leave lying around in the kitchen where they are, and they never clean up after parties. I sat down on the toilet and put my head in my hands.

"So now I'm stuck in a bathroom, and I can't get out of it." I said quietly to myself, "Well isn't that just excellent! I'm even more bored now! What does she expect me to do while she runs around pretending to be me? Write poetry? No way! And what am I supposed to do for food?"

This last one stopped me short, after all Courtney must have had a food source somewhere. Water I was fine for, the tap and the shower provided plenty, but I wasn't yet strange enough to keep food in my bathroom constantly.

I only kept food in here occasionally. Now wasn't one of those times. "But she must have had some kind of food source." I muttered, but how?

Probably the same way she knows where she's going in the castle, which I assume she does, and the same way she managed to swap us in the first place. But how had she done that? I rummaged in my pocket and pulled out a notebook and pencil; time to brainstorm.

Filled with balloons?

_That's right! The whole pit! _

But who could have done this?

Ed turned the page of his book, not looking up from it as he door to the library opened and shut again. Probably Frog back from finding something to amuse herself. Quiet footsteps made their way slowly across the floor towards him at an even, calm pace.

This was what made him look up; the steady, even tread without a hint of falling or stumbles. Frog was walking calmly across the library towards him, immediately he was suspicious, but he quickly pressed his face into an expression of calm.

"Hey." He said shortly, she nodded and sat down opposite him. Another odd thing, but then again Frog's whole reason to be was being erratic. Still; something was off, and Ed had learned to trust his instincts. So for the next hour or so while Frog read her fantasy novel and petted Hayashi he observed carefully any out of the ordinary behaviour she exhibited.

By the end of the sixty minutes his head contained a list of exactly twenty-two points. Frog decided to go to bed early so she could do some work on her small garden plot before it got too sunny tomorrow and left without saying goodnight to Hayashi; twenty-three.

Ed shook his head as he cleared away his book and notes. He needed to think about this uninterruptedly. A shower was always the right way to go when he needed to think, so it would help now. Ed walked towards the nearest bathroom to the library, pulling his hair out of its braid as he went. He was handed a towel by a minion who happened to be passing the bathroom door and thanked her kindly. Ed stepped into the bathroom, shed his clothes, and stepped gratefully under the stream of warm water.

A direct e leads you to the heart of matters. 

"Or maybe she ate soap!" I muttered, scribbling busily on my paper. Somehow though, I didn't think Courtney would stoop so low as to eat soap so I put a question mark next to that one. I heard the door open and looked up hastily, could it be Courtney back already to tell me what havoc she had wrought?

But it was Ed. I wondered what he was doing in here, and if it was possible that he could have figured it out already he wasn't a child prodigy for nothing after all. He pulled his shirt up and over his head and I stared blankly in confusion. It was only when he walked over to the shower that I clued in.

Bathroom. Shower. Right. He reached for his pants and I busied myself with reading back over my ideas until I heard the water running and Ed step in. The glass that made the shower cubicle was cloudy and fragmented so once the door closed I began scanning the room for something I could use or do.

This was getting more and more difficult to do as steam built up on the mirror surface. Impatiently I swiped at it with my hand, and a clear patch grew. I stared at the small now translucent patch and an idea sparked inside my brain.

I reached out and traced a finger across the clear surface, a small line appeared. I grinned triumphantly and traced my finger over the mirror again, forming words this time. 'Help, I'm trapped! She isn't who she says she is!'

Now I was relying on Ed's genius to save me. I read over my note, then realised something very important; my note would be backwards on Ed's side. I studied the note even more closely and attempted to write it backwards.

I managed to produce some worm-like squiggles and a small throbbing headache. I wiped the squiggles away irritably and pulled myself up onto the counter to wait for Ed to get out of the shower. When he did I waited a few more seconds before turning around to look again. Ed was standing in the middle of the bathroom, lower half wrapped in his towel, combing his hair with his fingers.

Small rivulets of water slipped off of the end of the yellow locks and trickled down over his scarred, sculpted chest and stomach. He caught sight of the mirror out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to look at it. I watched in hope as his eyes scanned the words a few times. He narrowed his eyes slightly, obviously thinking, but he seemed to brush whatever it was off.

"I didn't know Frog could write backwards." Ed said quietly as he gathered his clothes and walked out of the bathroom. I stared after him, ready to scream in frustration, which I then proceeded to do.

Edwarf. 

Ed walked out of the bathroom with his mind racing. He really hadn't known that Frog could write backwards. Though sometimes he doubted her ability to write forwards, but that was Frog for you.

He mulled over this as he lay in bed. He could hear Frog's breathing as she slept. She was here being her usual strange self, not being held captive in the bathroom mirror. He assured himself of this as he fell asleep, and that for a while at least there would be some degree of normalcy around the castle.

But the next morning when Ed awoke he knew his prediction to be false, for something was indeed amiss. Hayashi sat on the end of his bed with his shining pale-green eyes slitted and his plumed forest-patterned tail lashing feverishly.

"What is it Yashi?" He asked, looking around the room or the source of the trouble, Fog's bed was empty; she must have woken up and left earlier. Hayashi lifted his left paw up and proffered it to Ed, the fur of the paw was matted and as Ed watched a small droplet of bright red blood fell from the tip of one of the partially extended claws and onto the bed sheets. Ed sprang forwards and picked up the cat. "How did that happen? And why hasn't Frog already taken care of it?"

No matter where she was Frog would have sensed this 'disturbance of the Force' as she liked to call them and come running. Hayashi meowed loudly, as if agreeing to Ed's thoughts.

He continued to watch Ed almost impatiently as he washed the cut. It was long, and fairly deep, but the magical bandages in the first aid kit Ed found hidden in a bookcase took care of it. He sat on the floor holding Hayashi in his lap for a while after, thinking about this latest development.

If Frog hadn't known about this, then she wasn't the same as she had been. If she wasn't the same as she had been could it stand to reason that she was a whole different person? But wouldn't he have noticed if she had been replaced?

But he _had_ noticed things, quite a few, which pointed to something strange. This included. Ed stood up, placing Hayashi back on the ground where he walked away with only the slightest trace of a limp, and went to look for Frog, or whoever it was, though he had not idea what he was going to do when he got there and found them.

He found Frog working, as she had said she would be for once, in the garden. She was busily pulling up weeds as he approached but stopped when he got nearer. He forced his face into a carefree smile and schooled his body into a more relaxed position.

"How're you doing?" He asked her casually, she smiled up at him from the flower bed.

"Oh fine, have you seen Hayashi lately? I can't seem to find him." Ed thought almost seriously about telling her about Hayashi's injury but considered that she might already know.

"Nah, why do you need to see him?" She shrugged and turned back to her work. So he continued. "One would think that you'd know where he was anyway, being master of this dimension." She looked up quickly and Ed almost thought he saw a flash of fear in her eyes. But if it was ever there it was gone in an instant.

Groundhog

Courtney cursed silently; she had forgotten her counterpart's control over this place. Would the master of this dimension be able to get out of her mirror?

Her mirror. _Her_ mirror, not Frog's. She probably couldn't control the mirrors anymore than Courtney could control the castle. She relaxed and forced herself to smile up at the golden-haired boy; Edward.

"But where's the fun in that, right?" He seemed satisfied with her answer and made off somewhere. Courtney went back to her work, planning exactly what she would do to him when the time was right to begin her destruction. The time was not now, but it would be soon.

**Next time on CCC: The plot thickens! Or not… I don't really know…**


	37. Repose

**Well my friends I have returned to you know, at the turn of the tide… From the land of the rising sun. And I come bearing a news bulletin; CCC is completed. **

**The actual posting of it won't be finished for a little while though, but the story is done and on my computer. You will be glad to know that this chapter starts at the 58.05% mark! **

Babylon

Ed sped across the cloud as fast as he could make his legs go, leaping off the top of hills and ducking under arches as he made his way to Al and Oryx's castle. When he sped up to the door and pounded on it Oryx opened it straight away.

"Hey Ed! How's it going?" She said brightly.

"I think you and Al both should hear this." He said Oryx nodded seriously and ushered him inside. She sat him down and ran off to find Al, retuning with him quickly.

He told him the story of the writing on the mirror and all of the strange things Frog had been doing. At first they shrugged off what he said, until he told them about Hayashi being injured.

"But she must have known!" Oryx exclaimed, Ed put his cold Automail hand to his head to help him think.

"She should have yeah, only she didn't." Ed stood up. "I shouldn't leave her alone for too long, if she is an imposter she could wreak some real havoc." Al protested at his leaving.

"You could be in danger!" He argued.

"But I need to keep her under the assumption that I know nothing. I'll be fine Al don't worry." He Ported out of the castle and back to his own.

As soon as he got back Ed started pacing as he plotted and planned his course of action. Obviously Frog was being held captive somewhere, though exactly where he was not yet sure, and the person he though was Frog was an imposter. So somehow they must have managed to overpower Frog and imprison her, the implications of this made Ed's head spin.

Ed looked up and was surprised to find that while he thought his feet had wandered, he was now standing in front of the bathroom door. Ed looked at the door, and his brain flashed an idea. 'Help, I'm trapped! She isn't who she says she is!' the note on the mirror had said, Ed realised now that it must have been the real Frog trying to tell him. But if she was trapped, he asked himself, how could she have written on the mirror? Unless…

Ed pushed open the door and rushed into the bathroom. Unless the thing she was trapped in was the mirror. He studied it; but it looked just like a mirror. But what if it was two way?

That is to say that Frog could see out but he couldn't see in. Ed sat down on the toilet and put his head in his hands, without realising it mirroring Frog's actions the day before. He looked up from the ground and watched the mirror.

"Frog? Are you there?" He listened to the silent room for a minute before continuing. "This feels kind of stupid, but something's not right, so if you're there I'd appreciate a sign or something." He waited for some reaction to his words, but nothing happened. Suddenly he sat up straight.

"Of course you won't be able to send a message! How were you supposed to?" Ed said, jumping up, he ran over to the sink and turned on the hot tap, after waiting for a small while the water warmed up and steam began to drift around the room. Ed waited and sure enough the mirror fogged up.

There was a pause, then a small smiling face appeared drawn in the patch of mist. Ed grinned sat down on the toilet again. 'Hi' appeared in this new foggy patch, it was written forward this time so really it was written 'iH' on Frog's side, but as the sentence went on Ed found that Hi was the limit of Frog's ability to write backwards. 'Her name's Courtney. Trapped me in here. Not very nice. Hungry.' Read the rest of the message, the last word was squashed into the remaining space.

Ed wiped the mirror clean and this time he turned the shower on instead of the tap, the increase in the amount of steam meant Ed had to read the words faster but also that they were replaced with more steam. 'Like to get out soon, bored in here too.' Another smiley face followed the end of the message. Ed smiled himself and nodded at the mirror as he finished reading.

"I'll try and get you out as soon as I can. I promise that." He said, and he shut off the water and walked out of the bathroom. He went into a study and rooted around in a drawer for a notepad and pen. He found them and sat down at the desk, pen poised. He was gong to send a letter to Peanut, and ask her for help.

'Peanut,' he wrote, 'Frog has somehow gotten herself trapped inside a mirror. I was hoping that you could create a Portal and get her out. Sincerely, Edward.'

He folded the note up and summoned a minion whom he could trust to not tell 'Frog' and gave it instructions to give the note to Peanut. He went back to the bathroom and informed Mirror-Frog of the development.

In response she wrote yet another smiley face in the steam. He stayed and talked with her through the mirror for a while, it was only when she broke off in the middle of a sentence and drew a face with its eyes closed and a stream of z's coming from its mouth did Ed check his watch and realise how late it was.

"I'll come back tomorrow; hopefully Peanut will have come by then." A tick mark in the last remaining fogged up part of the mirror answered him so he made off to bed, first wiping away all of the steam on the mirror.

He acted as if nothing at all was wrong when the imposter Frog, Courtney apparently, said goodnight, and the morning of the next day he said nothing when she disappeared as soon as she got up.

It made getting Peanut into the castle a lot easier if the imposter wasn't around. When Ed met Peanut down in the lobby he gave her a quick run down of everything that had been going on in the castle, and what he was thinking of doing about it. Peanut grasped the situation quickly and grasped just as fast what it is she would have to do.

"Well I've never tried opening a Portal into a mirror before, but what the heck! It's worth a shot." She followed Ed through the castle, as he didn't feel safe Porting, ducking around corners and slipping silently through doors. They slipped into the bathroom and Ed turned on the shower and filled the room with the swirling mist that allowed him to talk with Frog through the mirror.

'Hi Peanut, have you come to help then? That's good, because this is really quite boring. What are you going to try?' Peanut explained their theory about using portals to get in.

Frog gave this a smiley face and Peanut got to work. The first Portal opened up onto a beach somewhere in Australia, the second a small closet. Peanut frowned as she concentrated on the third portal, this one took longer to form and it was a different colour to the previous ones' green, this one was a deep shade of purple.

When the portal had finished expanding Ed started to walk towards it. Before he got close however a shape came hurtling out of the portal and skidded to a stop in the middle of the room. It was Frog. She stood in the middle of the room, completely frozen, for so long that if she hadn't just been moving Ed would have said she was in fact frozen solid.

When she moved at last it was slowly and with staring eyes towards the bathroom door. She slowly reached out, like she was in a trance, though Ed saw that the hand she reached with was shaking. She pushed the handle and it slid down smoothly and the door swung open silently. She turned now to look at Ed and Peanut and her smile was akin to that she had when she was an evil overlord.

"Courtney." She whispered, and without warning she flew out of the room and was gone in an instant.

Ed and Peanut stood frozen as Frog had been after she left the room. They stared dumbstruck at the door as it swung slowly back from where it had hit the wall when Frog slammed past it to get out.

Peanut snapped out of it first, she sprinted across the room and ran out of the door after Frog. Ed ran after her moments later, pausing I turn off the water in the shower, he caught up to her and she followed him through the castle halls.

"Where's Courtney?" Peanut shouted as the rounded a corner and came out in the entrance hall.

"Library." He said shortly and they pounded up the stairs. They swerved left at the next junction and continued on towards the library. Frog was nowhere in sight, but then she'd had a head start on them.

They skidded to a halt outside the double doors of the library and they each swung one open. Inside they saw Frog, or Courtney, standing over a limp figure on the ground, calmly inspecting the blurb on the back of a book. She turned to them and smiled.

"Frog?" Peanut said quietly, a nod was her answer.

"Could you two help me get her into this crate?" Frog asked gesturing to a medium sized wooden crate that Ed hadn't noticed before. Frog took Courtney by the arms and Peanut and Ed took her feet.

They heaved her into the crate and arranged her so that she'd be able to breathe properly. Peanut and Frog picked up the crate's lid and secured it over the still form. It was after they had done this that Ed tackled Frog and pinned her to the ground, face intense.

"What are you doing?" She yelled in a panicky voice, Peanut tried to tug Ed off of her but he batted her away.

"How could you think that you'd fool me even for a second?" He whispered savagely, Frog's face snapped instantly from a look of confused panic to purest loathing.

"Well, well; how keen of you to notice, Edo-kun. I was beginning to think that your reputation of genius was just that." Ed snarled and raised his Automail arm, he whacked Courtney over the head and she went limp.

"Hold her, she might be faking." He instructed a shocked Peanut. When she had a firm grip he got up and ran over to the crate. He threw off the lid and pulled the limp figure inside out and laid her on the floor.

"Frog," he said quietly, "Wake up." He extended a hand and brushed the hair out of her face. Frog's eyelids fluttered, she let out a sigh and her clear blue eyes opened.

"Frog!" Came Peanut's ecstatic cry from behind them where she was still restraining Courtney. Frog tuned her head to try and see her but the angle wasn't right so she pulled herself up on Ed's shoulder.

"Man I have a headache." She said quietly as she walked to Peanut's side. "What are we going to do with her?" She asked, everyone was silent for a minute while they thought.

"I know!" Peanut said, "We'll put her in the crate and I'll deliver it to Voldemort the next time I'm in Harry Potter land. This should be soon; as I still have to take back that invisibility cloak."

Ed and Frog looked at her for a minute, then nodded silently. Frog took a firm grip on one of Courtney's legs and Ed took the other one. For the second time they hoisted a body into the crate and secured the lid on top. Frog taped a note to the top of the lid.

"For the dark lord Voldemort." It proclaimed in bold lettering. "Only for him. Do not open this unless you are Voldemort, or you have a death wish. That means you Ron! And Harry! Especially Harry!" Peanut took hold of the box and pushed it into a Portal to her and Frog's secret hideout. She stayed to make sure everything was okay before joining the box on the other side. When the Portal closed Frog sank to her knees with a grateful sigh.

"I don't think I could have stayed standing up for another second." She declared melodramatically and Ed grinned.

"Sure Frog, come on." He grabbed an arm and hoisted Frog onto her feet again. She swayed but remained upright.

"Okay, so maybe I could have stayed standing." She conceded as Ed led her away up the stairs.

June 5th: Hug a tall person day.

"Edward! Have Oryx and Al arrived yet?" I said as I tugged on the aforementioned teen's shirt sleeve. He looked up from his book with a detached expression on his face.

"No, they haven't come yet. Oh, and the minion who was formerly known as Jeff would like me to tell you that he's taking his day off starting now." I nodded and left the Entrance Hall for the Main Hall. I walked down the long dining table, ticking off names on my fingers with each setting I passed.

"Me and Ed, Al and Oryx, Peanut and Jack, and Hamael." As I reached the end the doors opened and Ed walked in, followed by everyone I just mentioned, save Hamael. "Speak of the devil." I muttered as I walked to greet them.

"Hamael sent this note." Ed said to me, holding out a piece of paper. I took it and scanned it quickly.

"He's not coming then." I said, and a minion carried his plate back to the kitchen and replaced it with a vase of begonias. "Nice touch." I commented as we sat down. I clapped my hands and a cloud of purple sparkles appeared over the group, it sank slowly and surrounded the table, when it lifted it revealed a cluster of red and white buckets and boxes with KFC stamped on the side.

"KFC? You don't usually go out for this kind of thing." Peanut said, I shrugged.

"I know, and I doubt I will again. You see, I had to buy all their chicken, and then the store, and then the employees' lunches." I said, tossing a small collection of brown paper bags onto the table. "Good sandwiches, some of them have ham though." I said, there was a pause, and everyone started eating. Everyone but Jack, he sat and looked confused.

"But Frog… I don't think this is suited to me." He said quietly, I laughed and pushed a box with a yellow post-it note attached to it across to the skeleton.

"Sorry I forgot to mention it Jack. I got food you could eat. Or whatever it is that you do with it." I said, Jack took the food and bit into a piece of chicken.

We worked our way through all the food, even the lunches of the employees.

"How did you get them to give you their lunches anyway?" Ed asked me, I grinned.

"I offered them each a free elephant."

"Did you give them one?" He asked.

"Yes, they seemed happy; I know I'd be happy if I had an elephant." I said wistfully, looking off into the distance. Suddenly I felt a cold shiver run down my spine like an icy hand. My vision became fuzzy and I swayed in my seat. A dark shadow settled over my mind, and I felt the cold hand slip inside my mind, clouding my thoughts.

My eyes cleared, and though my vision stayed the same, I was seeing the clearest I had been in a long time. None of them could be trusted, not one. It was my duty, my obligation, to stamp out these worms and establish my dominion over the skies. Peanut watched the table through slitted eyes, and stood up suddenly.

"I have to go take care of a few things; I'll be back in a bit." She said, and she slipped through a Portal, Jack behind her. I too stood up.

"I have a few things of my own to take care of, please continue as if I had not left." I said as I swept out of the room.

I walked swiftly through the corridors of the castle, though it was smoothly metamorphosing into a fortress as a went. The walls becoming sturdy stone as the moat dug and filled itself. I left a hold on the Main Hall to prevent any changes there, for now it would remain.

I dug out my yellow pants and blue shirt, choosing this time to wear striped yellow and red socks with my green shoes and to dye my hair orange instead of purple. I swept to the throne room, calling up my forces as I went.

They appeared, colour coded, around the fortress from the outside in. The outside guards in dark green jumpsuits, the inside ones in blue. Prison guards in red t-shirts and shorts materialized in the cell block. My new short-term goal in mind, I conjured up a new section; Special Forces.

This entirely female squad dressed in black tank tops and smooth fitting many pocketed black trouser appeared at strategic points around the fortress, in the shadows and inside alcoves. Last of all my white robed attendants swum into view and snapped to attention.

"We must take action once again." I said, my voice echoing soundlessly in the minds of my Death Munchers. "We will rule the skies but first we must exterminate those who wish to get in our way. I flashed pictures of Ed, Al, Oryx, and Peanut into their minds.

"But perhaps you are interested in an ally?" Oryx's voice rang out over the chamber. I turned to face her. She would be valuable, that was definite, what with complete control of this dimension and a limitless army of minions between us we would be very hard to take down. Not impossible certainly, but difficult.

I decided to consider Oryx's offer further and told her wait in the small grey concrete room just off the throne room. I posted five cell guards outside the door and summoned my chief torturer and head of interrogation who also happened to be the General of Special Forces; Myfanwy.

"We have been offered an alliance." I said to her. Myfanwy hooked her long silver and black spotted hair behind one ear as she considered this.

"By whom?" She asked, looking as if she was mentally running through anyone who would offer me an alliance and dismissing them all as useless.

"Oryx. She would be useful."

"Indeed, but have you considered the possibility that his might all be a trap and that she will turn on us?" Myfanwy replied.

"Yes, I have and I am confident in our ability to overpower her forces if the need should arise. But I want your stamp of approval before I continue. What do you say?"

"I suppose there will be other alliances when the time for war comes. " Myfanwy said, slitting her eyes.

"Yes I suppose there will be. But will we be one of them?" I prompted.

"Yes, though we would have faired well on our own the added strength will do us good." Myfanwy decided, I nodded, satisfied with the answer and called to the guards to let Oryx out of the room. They did so and she looked expectantly at me.

"Do we have a deal?" She asked me.

"Well now, we haven't specified the clauses yet." I said, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to Myfanwy. She set it on the table I conjured up along with a pen.

"We will be partners in this coming battle," I began, Myfanwy started writing, "and our forces will be as partners. There will be no outside forces on this side, though there may be on others, just my troops and your Minions. Is this all agreeable?" Oryx nodded silently and reached for the pen in Myfanwy's hand.

We signed at the bottom of the paper and I handed it into the care of Myfanwy, who walked away to make copies and file them away in various places. I conjured up a larger table and some chairs and spread out a map of the planned field of battle; a small cloud plane not too far from the castle. I planned to invite the others for battle in a few days. We planned our attacks, conferring with Myfanwy when she returned.

"Look, if Peanut comes from here, say with that dragon of hers, Shadow, we'll be completely unprotected." Myfanwy pointed out a few hours later. "We need to move the fifth squad."

"No, we do not. They are protecting the East wall of the castle, or part of it, and cannot be moved. We should just get more troops." I replied.

"Sustaining more troops is impossible without cutting something, rations or pay perhaps." Myfanwy replied.

"Impossible, their rations provide the needed amount of calories and energy, and their pay is enough for daily living and random adventures." I said.

"I could station some minions there, without taking any pay cuts or anything." Oryx supplied, Myfanwy considered.

"Can I take one person out of fifth quad?" She asked me, I nodded. "Good, I'll station your minions Oryx with Alice from fifth squadron there to direct them. They are to listen to what she says and not question unless they believe it to be of importance." Myfanwy instructed.

"Good plan, but moving on to the West wall, I think that this patch here is too crowded an- Yes what is it?" One of my attendants was standing next to me. She bowed and handed me a note.

"A communicator pigeon just came from Edward Elric miss." She said, I waved my hand and she left he room. I opened the letter and read it out loud.

"To Frog and Oryx, masters of this dimension, from Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Alphonse Elric, of Amestris. By virtue of more firepower and thus damage potential I hereby claim the castles belonging to yourself and Oryx, The Forest surrounding them, and the cliff you fall off.

"You have until sunrise the day after tomorrow to surrender these things to me or I shall begin my attack on the fortress. If you wish to signify acceptance to these terms you may do so by coming to the field marked on this map and hand over the enclosed document bearing yours and Oryx's signature." I spread the map out on the table along with the document to hand over the castles to Edward and Alphonse.

"Sure, like that's gonna happen." Myfanwy said, examining the map. You know, this is the same field that we're planning to fight on. Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If you're thinking that we don't give up the castle and continue our fight, then yes I am." Oryx said, I nodded.

"At sunrise the day after tomorrow we'll be at that field, with an army at our backs and our own ultimatum." I said, grinning. "Our army will consist of the Special Forces and Minions, all guards will be spread out around the perimeter, with instructions to bar the gates and shoot those who approach. I will bar anyone but myself from Porting inside. Are we clear?" Oryx and Myfanwy nodded. "Then let's begin preparing!"

Myfanwy nodded and ran off to brief the troops section by section on our battle plan. Oryx went to do the same to the Minions. I turned to my attendants.

"You will also be staying here, though on second thoughts I'll bring one of you. You there, what's your name?" A small stout girl bowed her head respectfully.

"Mina, miss." She said.

"Do you think you could handle coming along to a battle, though you should not get to fight?" I asked, Mina nodded quickly. She was really a very quiet person and it was interesting to meditate on what battle would do to her.

"Yes miss, I should think so." She answered, for some reason bobbing a curtsy, I nodded in approval and asked her to go get me a cup of tea. She left the room quickly and I sat down on my Gice throne and indicated that I wanted music, a lively tune was struck up and for my amusement attendants began to dance.

I bade one of the motionless ones to go find me a pen and paper so that I might write a note for Peanut, inviting her to this fight. It was done so I asked the same attendant to find me a German Shepherd because I wanted one.

It was quickly found and I hugged him and named him Aula. As Hayashi had vanished I needed a new companion for this battle. Aula sat next to me as I watched a sock puppet show and then I let him attack the puppets, I never liked those socks anyway.

**Next time on CCC: The battle rages.**


	38. Joker

**Happy All Hallows Even! I just drew the black Joker off the top of my deck of cards three times in a row.**

But the everyday ones are nicer than the special occasion ones so we should smash them and eat off the penguins.

The sky was dark, but there were no stars. Dawn was coming. I crouched down in the long grass, my arm around Aula's neck. Myfanwy leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Do you think he'll surrender?" I shook my head.

"Not for a moment, he's not that weak." We had trained the troops hard in preparation for the battle that was about to take place. In the distance I spied two figures with a lamp walking towards the open space through the smattering of trees surrounding it. I stood up and Myfanwy and Oryx stood beside me.

The sky to the East began to lighten as we watched the two figures of Alphonse and Edward draw closer. We walked forward to meet them just as the sun broke over the horizon. Alphonse, who was holding the lamp, opened it and blew it out. The five of us stood in semi-darkness silently, our breath mingling as white fog in the cold morning air.

"Do you have an answer?" Edward asked, grinning cruelly.

"Yes we do, at no time will I ever surrender my castle to you. To add to that, I have something for you, and ultimatum of our own. You are to get yourselves away from this land, out of the skies to the ground, and are never to return. If you do not you will be beaten and forcefully ejected, after some mild imprisonment of course." Edward laughed.

"Like you could beat us." He said, "But you're definitely invited to try." There was a pause in which the air seemed to shimmer and then there was an army dressed in blue uniforms with white trim standing at attention behind Edward and Alphonse.

Of course, the Amestrian army could be procured for someone threatening one of its top scientists. I motioned to Myfanwy, who produced a small metallic blue whistle and blew it sharply.

The Special Forces troops and minion army shimmered into view behind me, I reached back and Mina, the attendant, handed me my Elemental Staff. There was a moment of silence, broken by a monstrous roar. Peanut's immense black dragon Shadow swooped low over the battlefield as Peanut jumped from his back.

Dragon stone aglow she certainly looked formidable, but alone she was the least of our problems. She snapped her fingers after she hit the ground and Shadow landed next to her, followed closely by an animal just as large if not more so that Shadow, bright blue and dragon-like it was adorned with white crystals.

Next Peanut opened a Portal next to her and a host of people came rushing out. Jack Skellington; looking terrifyingly fearsome, lead the group. Following behind him was; Sirius Black for once not in dog form, Harry Potter, the Weasley twins, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and Lupin, all with wands drawn, Fluffy followed them, all three heads barking and snapping.

A short pause followed before more came spilling out of the Portal. Kyo, Momiji, Hatsuharu and Yuki Sohma.

Courtney ran out behind them, waving to me creepily. Daine and Numair, followed by what looked to be he contents of fifty good sized national parks were next.

Followed by a small army of Orange Flying Monkey Vampires. Behind that and seemingly last came a group of people, sparkly and looking as if they had been carved out of wood for all the personality they showed; The Cullens! They went to line up with the others but Peanut pushed them away.

"Sacrifices over there, just be useful and don't make me hit you with a dictionary." She said, and walked away from the now cowering things. I twirled my Elemental Staff and unclasped my Moon pendant. Setting them together I stepped forward to the front of my army, Oryx stepped forward with me, pulling out her enchanted bow as she went. She knocked an arrow to the string and I raised my Elemental Staff. Roy Mustang stepped out to the front of the ranks of the army and lifted his white-gloved hand.

"Begin on my mark." He told them quietly. We stood in suspenseful silence until Peanut, fed up with waiting lunged at Mustang, swinging her large thick dragon claws furiously. Mustang signalled the army while fending of Peanut, they rushed forward and the battle began in earnest. I released Aula with orders to hold nothing back and dove in myself.

Lasers from the Special Forces troops flashed by occasionally, but a lot of their fighting was done hand to hand. This clashed a fair bit with the Amestrian military's style, mostly guns, but both sides seemed to by fairly evenly matched. Kyo was tackled and captured when he was transformed by a SF troop to my right and Myfanwy instructed that he be taken back to the dungeons later but kept in a secure cage now, inside a crate.

People fell all around me, some got up again and struck out at their opponent, others didn't. An arrow from Oryx whipped by me and I heard a thud. Shadow swooped overhead and crushed a group of Special Forces troops.

I again heard Oryx's bow sing but before the arrow could find Shadow's heart one of the Cullens was in front of it. The arrow pierced deep and the thing fell to the ground.

I saw an Amestrian soldier take aim and swept my Staff across; the soldier was blasted away and fell unconscious to the ground.

Another one fired and one of the minions fell, I swept a wave of fire at that one, but I was hit in the arm just before I fired, throwing the shot off. I looked for the person responsible, but was tackled to the ground before I could see them.

My Elemental staff fell, out of my hands as I struggled with my assailant, feeling strong arms pinning me down and one punching me in the face. I hit back but they caught my fist.

I brought up my knee and hit them in the stomach, hearing their breath rush out of their lungs. Their grip on my arms loosened and I threw their arms off and rolled away. I stood up and turned around, noticing that my opponent was blonde and almost on their feet; I kicked them in the stomach again and rolled them over.

It was Edward. I pinned him down with my knees and drew back a fist to punch him, but he recovered too fast and threw me off.

Once again we were rolling wildly on the ground. Edward got an arm near my throat and I sunk my teeth into it, he hit me in the mouth again but it allowed me enough time to get on top of him and wrap my hands around his throat. He struggled, but I ducked under his arm and he couldn't quite get free. An Amestrian soldier, seeing Edward in danger, came over and pulled me off, I managed to Summon my Elemental Staff and encase the soldier in a block of ice.

I pulled myself loose, only to get hit in the face for the third time, this time with Edward's metal fist and I felt my nose break and spray blood everywhere. I swung my Staff feeling it collide with Edward's face and break his nose in turn.

Suddenly I felt something slam into my back and an arm slip around my throat, cutting off my air. I clawed at the arm, blanketing the air around me in flames but to no effect. I sank to my knees as the world started to go black, my lungs were burning and I gave a feeble shake but the person on my back held firm.

Faintly I heard a yell and the pressure on me neck released suddenly. I fell forwards onto the ground, sucking in air. The fight went on around me but it felt remoter now.

Eventually my head cleared and I pushed myself up. Oryx was sitting on top of Alphonse a few metres away, pressing a silver dagger to his throat. I lined up my Elemental Staff and delivered a knock to the head that left him unconscious on the ground. I gave Oryx a quick nod and we ran off into the battle again. My face was throbbing, my nose on fire. I ran to the medical tent set up on the side of the field.

"Just fix the nose, make it not broken." I said, the healer nodded and pulled out a small jar, he dabbed a green paste on my nose and I felt it begin to work. A few seconds later the healer dabbed the cream off my face, he held up a mirror.

I could see that the bone wasn't broken anymore it was back in the right place and weakly connected, my face just looked like a giant bruise and one of my eyes was swelling.

"Thank you, I'll be back later." I said, the healer nodded silently and turned back to a minion with burns. I charged out of the tent and into the fray. I sent a wave of Amestrian soldiers flying, aiming one successfully at Roy Mustang. I conjured up a ribbon of flame and began whirling it around myself, letting no one closer. I saw out of the corner of my eye Fluffy picking up a minion with his middle head and throwing him a few hundred metres, I decided to deal with the threat and charged over.

I flicked my wrist and my ribbon of flame snapped and cracked like a whip. I swung it and Fluffy whimpered as it made contact with his skin, singing his fur, then growled as he readied for an attack. I swung my arm wide and wrapped my flaming rope around two of Fluffy's heads, straining to hold them. I reached out and caught the attention of a passing minion.

"Give me a hand couldn't you?" I asked, pulling out a large amount of rope from my pocket. The minion grabbed the rope and managed to use it to lasso the remaining head. With the enlisted help of five more minions and a few Special Forces troops armed with more ropes we brought Fluffy down and tied him up.

To my left I could see the strange blue creature that had come out of the Portal with Peanut being torched by Mustang and Shadow crushing some Amestrian soldiers. I brought up my spinning wall of flame again and continued on my way.

A rock shaped like a head flew through the wall and smashed into my hand, though slowed by my curtain of flame it still bruised the bone and made me drop my Staff.

The flame dissipated and Major Alex Louis Armstrong of the Armstrong family loomed over me. About three times my height he was formidable and I felt there was no problem in picking up my Elemental Staff and using it to propel myself about three hundred metres away from Armstrong, a fairly safe distance I felt.

The problem with that was that it deposited me about two metres away from Edward. He noticed me at the same moment I noticed him, he jumped and I dodged, but not well enough. Again he tackled me, causing me to fall wrong and twist an ankle, and again I felt myself getting pinned down and punched, thankfully with his flesh arm.

The blows ranged all over; my face, my stomach, once I even felt him get up and kick me. My left eye was almost swollen shut now; I was having a hard time seeing straight. I tried to move my legs, but they were holding most of Edward's weight and so I couldn't move them, I tried to raise my arms in defence but they too were held down, one was crushed under me the other held in Edward's Automail hand against the ground. Eventually I just squeezed my right eye shut and tried to focus on loosening Edward's hold.

The fight around me was so loud that I knew no one would hear if I yelled and I couldn't seem to muster the strength to send a message mentally. I could barely seem to muster the strength to do anything anymore. I guessed that if I had the will to open my eyes the world would be fading, as it was the sound of the battle was becoming more and more like background static and my limbs were growing numb.

I was giving up on hope entirely and slipping into blackness when faintly I heard the sound of a bell drifting across the field. I felt the blows stop and suddenly I was wondering what I was doing here, and why I seemed to remember going to war against all my friends, and why my face was too swollen to open one of my eyes properly.

I managed to get my right eye open a little and looked around, Ed was still on top of me with one hand bunched into a fist, dripping blood, but he was looking down at me in horror. I coughed and choked on blood but I kept breathing and tried to pull my right arm out from under me. Ed jumped off of me and helped me get my arm out and pulled me to my feet.

Or at least tried to, my twisted ankle buckled under me and my other leg wouldn't old its own weight. Ed swung me up and started carrying me; I tried to stem the flow of blood from my now re-broken nose but touching it made me want to pass out so I stopped.

"Are you alright?" Ed asked me, speaking in a somewhat hoarse voice as we walked through the now almost empty field. In the distance I could faintly see Peanut ushering the Amestrian army through a Portal after her own troops, the minions and my troops had all vanished. "We should find a doctor or something."

"We should find Al and Oryx first." I said, "Are you sure you're alright to carry me? I'm sure I could hop, it would be fun." I said, Ed shook his head.

"You shouldn't walk on your leg, or try and put all your weight on the other one. Let's find Oryx and Al." I nodded and summoned up a small telescope to scan the way in front. We came upon the two eventually, Oryx was sitting on Al's lap and Al was leaning against a tarp covered cart, Oryx saw us coming and called out to me.

"Why was I just trying to strangle Dumbledore? I mean; I was hanging in midair nowhere near him, but I _wanted_ to strangle him." I shrugged.

"You have as much of an idea as I do." I replied hoarsely. Al, who had been petting Aula, looked up when I spoke and gasped.

"What happened to you?" He asked, he had a bruise on his head where I hit him and a cut running vertically down the side of his neck, Oryx was staunching a cut lip and had a purple bruise spanning her entire left forearm.

"The fight got a little choppy." I said. Looking back at Ed I noticed that his nose was still broken and dripping blood, it was starting to dry and crack in places. We sat down and Ed placed me on the ground in front of him.

"Brother, how did that happen?" Al asked worriedly, referring to his nose.

"Don't worry about me Al, where'd that cut come from?" Ed asked, and as Al launched into his story I realised suddenly was too tired to stay sitting up straight and started swaying, Ed wrapped his arm around my waist and scooted forward until I could lean against him, I twisted around and looked at him again, noting that the Alchemist had light purple bruises running around his throat from when I tried to strangle him, I reached up and touched the bruises gently.

Ed pulled my hand back down into my lap, I turned around and rested my head on his chest and let my remaining useable eye drift close. I sat in peaceful meditation, attempting to ignore the pain in my face and wishing that the medical tent hadn't vanished with my troops, and slowly becoming aware that the bell we had heard earlier was back again, and getting nearer. It got closer and closer and finally seemed as if it was right behind me.

I opened my eye and turned around to see what was making the noise. Directly behind me was someone so unique that it would be impossible to meet the like of him again. He looked about seventeen and he had the darkest black hair, darker than a cloudy moonless night in the midst of Winter, that was very untidy skin so pale it shone bright in the golden light of the close to setting sun, and milky white blind eyes framed by long silver-white eyelashes.

He was wearing a sleeveless purple turtleneck, black fishnets from where the shirt stopped just to his elbows, dark silver jeans that were not faded in the slightest, large black boots with laces that were tipped with bright silver blue tinted metal, long dark purple gloves with metal plates on the back of his wrist and forearm.

He had two piercings in his right ear, one at the top and one at the bottom and they were both joined by a thin silver chain. The ringing continued and I noticed that he was holding a long staff; it was almost taller than he was and he was very tall, it was made out of a twisted dark wood that appeared to be oak, twirling into a question mark shape, at the end of which hung a small brass bell.

"Hi there." Oryx said to the boy, his head turned in the direction of the sound.

"Hello." He said, and I noticed that he had an English accent and then, my mind skipping a couple of tracks, wondered how on earth he got onto the clouds. "My name is Pluto, I have felt the energies emanating from this place for a small while and they caught my interest." I blinked, or perhaps the correct term would be winked, rapidly wondering what the energies of a castle on a cloud felt like and then, my brain skipping tracks again, what the energies coming from a platypus felt like. It was only then that I realised Pluto was still talking.

"But the journey was long and I was hoping I could rest with you for a short time before returning to my home." He finished.

"Well of course you can." I said somewhat faintly. Pluto nodded sagely at nothing in particular.

"The fates that decree do not wish me to stay with you, they say something bout a house with many cats." He said, Ed and I turned simultaneously to look at Al and Oryx.

"Well that certainly sounds like our castle; you're welcome there of course!" Oryx said happily. I held out my hand to Aula and he followed as Ed picked me up again and we Ported, Pluto with us, back to our castles.

My castle had returned to its normal form once again and though the troops had vanished Myfanwy had remained and made her way back there, she was still a little evil, always had been. She went through a Portal I requested Peanut, who had also come back to the castle, open to her dimension when we got back so she could go stay with her for a little while. Just before she walked through it, I stopped her.

"Wait, could you take Aula with you? Just let him out into the trees when you get there, I think he would be useful for Hamael." I reached down from Ed's arms and placed my hand on the dog's head. I projected my memories of Hamael into his mind and asked him to watch out for Hamael.

I sent him on his way with Myfanwy and watched as the Portal closed to nothing again. I bade everyone to sit down in a sitting room and Summoned the healer as well as Oryx, Al and Pluto.

The little man dashed around the room, performing his duties quickly and with great skill. He wrapped my ankle up in a glowing green bandage and smeared more of his green paste on mine and Ed's broken noses.

Al had his cut treated using the same stuff and Oryx's bruise faded fast under his sure hands. Pluto sat calmly and silently on a lounge, petting the black cat sitting next to him and letting his sightless eyes drift around the room. When Al and Oryx rose, Pluto did also. He bowed shortly to Ed, nodded sharply to me, and vanished with Al and Oryx.

**Next time on CCC: Pluto orbits. **


	39. Electrolyte

**My continued greetings to you on this eve of All Soul's Day.**

Serendipitous

Obtaining a new friend is a hard thing to do most of the time. But when that potential friend wants nothing to do with you, the challenge increases. This seemed to be particularly true when applied to the castle's most recent guest Pluto.

He was quiet most of the time, but he followed conversations intensely, unless it was me speaking to him, or, though to a lesser extent, if Ed was. He closed off completely, his face became like a solid wall and he seemed to be kilometres away. When he did this my sentence usually petered out and I quickly made my own excuse to be somewhere else.

"I just don't think he likes me." I remark to Oryx after one such meeting, we were headed out to the statue garden to meet Al.

"I don't suppose everyone you ever meet will like you." She replied as we crossed the hall headed towards the front doors.

"Well, no, I don't think I can. But it would be nice. " I agreed as we walked around the castle walls towards the statue garden, Oryx joined Al in feeding small birds seeds from a bench; I pulled on a pair of work gloves and began weeding the nearest flower bed, a task that I neglected more often than not. I had been at it for about half an hour when Ed wandered into the garden, Pluto behind him.

The dark-haired teen joined Al and Oryx on their bench and Ed studied a statue of a centaur with a vaguely interested look on his face. I focused again on my weeding and continued until I felt a shadow pass over me. I looked up, Pluto was standing behind me.

"The Fates have recently decreed that I shall be moving on soon. Also, you must not trust those wearing green." He said, I stared then realised that I was doing it and stopped.

"Right then. Have a good trip." I said, Pluto nodded slowly and walked smoothly away, towards The Forest the bell on his staff fading as he got further away.

"That guy freaks me out sometimes." Ed commented from somewhere to my right.

"I'll say, he's so… cold." I said, looking around for my shovel. I located it and shoved it into the earth around a particularly stubborn weed.

The sky cradles the pure fresh wind before dropping it on my head.

"Did you just call me a lobster who's so tiny and ugly he could double as a garden gnome for a garden gnomes' garden gnome?" Yelled Pluto as he raced down a corridor after a small grey cat.

"She didn't mean it, I'm sure!" Al yelled, racing after him, Oryx running behind him.

"How do you even know what she said anyway?" Oryx called.

I just want it to be a good summer home for the Easter Bunny, is that so much to ask?

Later that night, a storm shifted in over the castle, the wind beat at the windows fiercely; it was the perfect night for curling up with a book by an open fire. I was doing just that until the loud ringing of a large bell reverberated through the castle. I dropped my unfinished novel on the chair beside me and ran towards the hall, Ed got there before I did because by the time I got down Oryx and Al were already standing inside, shaking water from the unexpected rainstorm off of their umbrellas.

"Have you seen Pluto by any chance?" Oryx asked me, I shook my head and told her what he'd told me earlier.

"But you didn't see him go in? He just walked off in that direction?" I nodded.

"But if he hasn't come back yet…" I trailed off.

"He could have just moved on like he said he would." Ed suggested, I nodded.

"But if he hasn't, something bad could have happened to him. What if he found the Dark Unicorns?" Al said, sounding as if he was remembering the last time someone, namely Ed, came in contact with the creatures. I snatched my deep blue jacket from the hook by the door and pulled it on, producing my favourite torch at the same time.

"We'll have to look for him. Pairs should do, so Pluto can be transported if found. Grounds first then as much of The Forest as possible. We can keep in touch by radio." I said, throwing one to each person. Ed grabbed his jacket and gloves and we ran out into the wind and rain.

The search for Pluto was slow, each metre of ground had to be investigated in case it held a clue of some kind. The Forest, however, was much worse. Shadows formed pictures in the mind, small animals darted across your path. We searched for as long as we could but in the end we agreed that Pluto must have moved on to some other place, probably by the same means that he got to the castle to begin with.

It's metre damn it!

"Hey Oryx look I've got a letter!" I yelled as I ran into the lounge room where Oryx was sitting on a lounge reading a magazine.

"Who's it from?" She asked, turning a page, I tore open the envelope I had just received from an owl, and shook open the folded paper inside.

"Hey Frog, how're things?" I read, "The secret base is a little crowded at the moment, what with all the people needing to go back to their worlds. I'm sure you could find some interesting ones to chat to if you felt the need, and to be honest; I'm drowning in people here and would really appreciate you lending a hand.

"Also, if you have any food lying around do bring it, my parents are getting suspicious and it wouldn't do for them to follow me. Pretty please with cherries and a pirate ship and some nuts on top? Catch ya, Peanut." Oryx put her magazine down.

"Of course she's still got all those characters staying in the secret base hasn't she?" Oryx said, I nodded.

"She sounds like she's having a tough time of it, and helping would be fun. We don't do enough helping. So let's rustle up the food and hit the road!" Oryx ran to go organise the provisions as I went to get Ed and Al. I found the boys out sparring by the Sun Lake.

"Hey guys, guess who we're going to see, Peanut!" I called as I got closer. "She's a bit overwhelmed at the moment, she's still got all those characters hanging around, and she's running low on food so we're going to help!"

The kitchen was full of steam and loud shouts when we arrived. Oryx and my favourite minion, George, were running the kitchen, Oryx running through a long list of food items and George supervising the packing of the food into containers and bags for transport.

Walking through the kitchen, skirting around busy minions, I noticed that they were trying to cater for as many possible diets and preferences as possible, vegetarian, carnivore, plasmavore, and some skeletal food that looked like it might be for Jack, the living skeleton.

Loading our arms with containers and covered plates, Me, Oryx, Al, Ed, and a small horde of minions walked out through the front doors of the castle and into the small wood that housed the entrance to the secret base. Peanut greeted us warmly when we arrived inside the base; I returned her hug after putting my plates and containers down on a nearby large table. The minions began setting up a buffet type of thing, and Peanut ushered Oryx, Ed, Al, and me up onto the small raised stage that ran around the base of the giant mushroom stalk in the centre of the base.

"As you can see we still have a lot of work to do before the base is anything near empty." Peanut said as we watched the characters gather around the long tables the minions had set up somehow, and start eating. Though there were certainly less people than last time, there were still quite a lot.

The base itself had changed a little since I was last there, there were small tables scattered around the room with cards splayed across them, and a large amount of hammocks strung up around the room so people could rest. "I'm going as fast as I can, but opening so many portals is really tiring." Peanut said as we walked around the base. I nodded.

"And of course you have to stop and look around the world you're dropping them off in." Jack put in from Peanut's left. "Not to mention causing havoc while you're there." Peanut grinned.

"Of course Jack, what else would I do?" She said, I laughed.

"Well now that Oryx and me are here it might go a bit quicker for a little while." Oryx, hearing her name, looked over from a conversation with a vampire, and walked over.

"Hey Frog, I heard that Hamael's wandering around in here somewhere." She said, I looked at Peanut for confirmation, who nodded.

"Didn't I tell you? I meant to." I pulled a chair over to me and stood on it, trying to see over the heads of the crowd, it didn't work. I asked Jack if he could see Hamael and he pointed him out to me instead. I made my way through the crowd to where the red-headed boy was leaning against a wall in a corner, Aula the German Shepherd lying at his feet and the inky black unicorn Maion a little ways off under the mushroom, his dark liquid eyes watching the people as they passed.

"How've you been Hamael? I see you got the dog I sent you." I said, he looked at me in silence for a few second.

"I've been fine, wandering around and trying to stay out of trouble mostly. Yes I did get the dog, Aula, why on earth did you send me a dog?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought he would be helpful…" I said quietly, Hamael sighed.

"Not that he wasn't helpful, but it was a little confusing when he first came running up to me and wouldn't go away." He said, while he was speaking Maion stood up trotted over to me and lay down on my feet, mirroring Aula and Hamael.

Or at least until Aula spotted the black cat in the red tufted collar with a golden key hanging from it that was curled up under a card table. Aula shot off Hamael's feet and ran after the quickly disappearing cat. I, for something new to do, disentangled my feet from Maion and ran after Aula.

We raced around the secret base, knocking over a few people in the process, but finally the cat got where it was going; a small girl with red hair wearing a short black dress and long yellow and red striped socks.

The cat jumped up onto her shoulder and she looked around form the game of snap she'd been playing with a skeleton that had green eyes and a whip lying coiled on the table next to him.

"Oh hello, I hope Doom wasn't giving you any trouble." She said warmly, standing up.

"Not at all, it was rather fun. I'm Frog by the way, this is Aula." I said, the girl held out her hand.

"I'm Ruby; it's nice to meet you Frog." She said, I shook her hand and flicked my eyes to the skeleton sitting behind her.

"So where is it that you three come from? I'm giving Peanut a hand in taking everyone back." Ruby looked taken aback at my automatic inclusion of the skeleton but her smile came back almost instantly.

"Skull Boy, Doom, and I come from Gloomsville." Ruby said, I waved at Skull Boy, who waved back hesitantly.

"Are you ready to go or would you like to finish the game or something?" I asked them. The cat, Doom, stretched, making a sound like a violin instead of a meow, and jumped off of Ruby's shoulder to poke my leg.

"I guess that means Doom wants to leave now, what do you think Skull Boy?" Ruby asked, Skull Boy stood up also, collecting his whip and coiling it around his arm.

"Ready when you are Ruby!" He said smiling and coming to stand next to her. Ruby looked at me and nodded.

"The others must be wondering where we are by now, I think we should get back."

"Well alright then! Next stop; Gloomsville!" I said, holding out my hands to Ruby and Skull Boy, they each took one and Doom scaled my pant leg and settled onto my shoulder. I focused my mind and Ported to Gloomsville.

"Sure I'll come again, sometime!" I called to the small family assembled in front of the strangely lopsided Gloomsville Manor, waving furiously before Porting back to the Secret Base.

Ruby was right, her friends had been wondering where she was, and to celebrate her, Skull Boy, and Doom returning safely they had a party, something I needed absolutely no encouragement in joining. I informed Peanut of their departure and she nodded vaguely.

"I'm sure if we had a list I'd check them off, hey, maybe we should get a list or something? Eh, seems too much like work, and you'd go all alphabetical on me." She said, I nodded and was about to say something else, but something shiny flashed in the corner of my vision and my train of thought ran on without me and I lost sight of it.

I whirled around to follow the light and spotted a familiar figure. A blue, furry figure to be precise; hanging by his tail upside-down from a branch-like protrusion that grew out of the roots of the tree the base was built under, swaying gently. I ran over through the crowd and scaled the bundle of roots myself.

"Hey Fuzzy Elf how's it going?" I said loudly once I was sitting next to the German mutant. He opened his glowing golden eyes and flipped up onto the thin branch thing.

"Hello, Frog, it's been a vhile." He said flashing a grin, I stood up on my own ledge and looked around the room.

"It certainly has. How've you been Fuzzy?"

"I have been vell, zhough not so much lately."

"I think I can take a wild guess as to why." I said dryly. "How'd you end up here anyway? Have you tried Porting out?"

"I can't see vhere I am going, remember? Porting out, von't vork. I'm not vreally sure how I got here, zhey came in zhe middle of zhe night and took us, and put us in cages until that girl came and got us out. Or at least, that's vhat happened to me, I'm not sure about him."

Kurt jerked his thumb at another outcropping of the tree a few metres above us. I squinted up at it and managed to make out a pair of webbed green feet hanging down into a beam of light cast by a lamp.

"Toad." Kurt said, in response to my expression as I tried to deduce the mutant's identity. "He vouldn't stop insisting zhat zhe Brotherhood vere coming for him, it got on everyone's nerves, zhey all just snapped eventually."

"Toad?" I shook my head, never having heard of this mutant.

"Ya, he isn't an X-Man though, be belongs to zhe Brotherhood Of Mutants, vhen zhey do come back him zhat is."

"Does he get caught often then?"

"All zhe time." Kurt smiled minutely I looked up again at the green feet.

"Well they definitely aren't coming for him this time, I've been designated to take you guys back home." By me, but it's all the designation I was going to get. "So I might as well go meet him and inform him of that."

"Go ahead." I focused on the opposite end of the branch thing and Ported there.

"Lovely day don't you think?" I said casually once I was sitting next to him. Toad let out a shriek and jumped five metres into the air. I watched as he landed and waved serenely, Toad watched me warily with entirely black eyes, through dark dreadlocks and a red bandanna.

"Hey man watch out will ya. I'm a feared member of The Brotherhood, and they're coming for me, you just wait!" He said.

"Yeah sure, whatever you say. I'm Frog, you're Toad right?" Toad nodded.

"Shows huh?" He waggled a webbed hand and snapped a long tongue at least 6 metres in the air.

"Wow, I certainly can't do anything like that, though I have a few tricks, trust me on that. So this Brotherhood, they always come for you right?" I said, Toad nodded.

"They know a valuable player when they see one!"

"Sure, but Toad, see, they aren't coming this time."

"No man you don't know them, they can get in anywhere, yo!" Toad stated adamantly.

"Buildings sure, but do they often go cross-dimension? And even if they did, this place is special, you can't just come strolling in here unless you're Peanut or me." I pointed through the crowd at Peanut, who was using a feather to saw a minion in half inside one of those boxes that magicians use, and then finding a duck to help her put him back together again.

"Huh?"

"They can't get in here, as much as they might want to come for you, they don't know where you are right? And they have no way of getting to you." Toad's eyes started darting from side to side.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" He said, a little panic seeping into his voice. "If they're not coming for me, what do I do?"

"I'm taking you back." I replied, "I'm helping Peanut out with getting you all out of our base and back to your lives." I made a sweeping gesture, encompassing the base, noticing as I did so that Ed was waving in my direction; he motioned for me to come join him. "And I will commence doing that very shortly, please hold." I said, and Ported over to Ed.

"We're coming with you." He said, gesturing to himself, Al and Oryx, the latter two of which were standing a small distance away talking to a group of mainly teenagers, the foremost of which had striking auburn hair and bright green eyes.

It was a mixed bunch, from the tallest one; a strange guy with thin brown ears jutting out high in his head and features reminiscent of some kind of rodent, the nice kind though a rabbit perhaps, to the shortest; a small blue furry creature sitting upon the shoulder to someone who reminded me of an infinitely more worried-looking Toad with a more developed sense of personal hygiene. Ed used my distraction as an excuse to continue. "We're coming to see the place you lived. You were there for more than a month and-" I cut him off.

"That sounds like a great idea, I'm sure they won't mind us dropping in, I did promise to go back and visit you know." I started to walk in the direction of Al and Oryx as I talked, "We have to drop off Toad back to The Brotherhood first though; I got the feeling that they aren't really high on the X-Men's party invite list. Or low on it, or just on it at all for that matter."

Oryx noticed me meandering slowly through the crowd towards her and Al, Ed in tow, and broke off her conversation with a blue-haired girl and started towards us. Al noticed her leaving and respectfully disengaged his own conversation and made his way after her. Oryx and Al, like Ed, didn't even imply that they were asking to come, just informed me that they were and asked if it would be okay.

"From what I gathered the last time I was there it'll be perfectly fine," I replied, "we just have to drop off someone before we go to the mansion. I'll get our passengers and we can be off and away!" I nodded to my friends and Ported back the Kurt's bough up in the tree roots.

"Okay Kurt, I am sure you will be thrilled to know that we now have a plan and will shortly be implementing the first of an uncertain number of phases."

"So in ozher vords you have no particular idea of vhat you're doing, and you're just making it up." Kurt replied, light glinting off his elongated teeth.

"Well…that too. Anyway! Phase One; I find out exactly where I'm taking Toad and take him there. Alternatively I suppose we can just drop him somewhere he's known to have been at one point and let him make his own way back, whatever's best. Phase Two your return home, along with me, Ed, Al, and Oryx in tow. Phase Three clearly states that after visiting, catching up, and having fun, that we must return here. Brilliant isn't it?" I finished, swinging my legs.

"Just drop me in the middle of the city, yo." I jumped and slid backwards off the bough, Porting back onto it a moment later. Toad was hanging upside-down in between me and Kurt.

"Why do people from your universe keep doing that?" I said to Kurt, he shrugged, "Well since you're here, Toad, and you've been listening to the plan I won't have to explain it again. Shall we get going?" Without waiting for Toad to answer I grasped his shoulder and Kurt's wrist and Ported to the corner where I had been talking to Al, Ed, and Oryx, they were there waiting for us, I introduced Toad and got everyone into a line.

"Everyone ready? Good, let's go." We disappeared and landed with a bounce on the grass of a road island in the middle of Westchester, New York.

Cold like cold leek soup

"Well Toad-boy, it's been fun." I said, patting Toad on the top of the head. "You alright from here?"

"Sure man, see you 'round." As he bounded away I gathered my remaining passengers and focused on my memories of the Mansion's grounds. I felt the sideways tug and landed on my side on soft grass.

I jumped to my feet and looked around; the Mansion looked exactly the same as it had when I was last here. Children of all ages ran over the grass, pushing each other and laughing. Ed, Al and Oryx followed behind as me and Kurt led the way up to the front doors.

"Will they know you've come back?" I asked Kurt as we reached the doors.

"Knowing zhe Professor; yes." he replied as he reached out and pushed the doors open. The Professor was waiting for us in the foyer with Rouge, Jean, Bobby, Scott, Kitty, Storm, Logan, and Evan.

"Kurt!" Kitty yelled, somewhat shrilly in my opinion but then again no one asked me, as she ran towards him. She hugged him, and he responded in kind, curling his tail around her leg.

The rest of the team crowed around Kurt, asking him where he'd been, who else was there, what he'd been eating and the like. Ed, Al, Oryx and I stood by the door, me pointing around the room and talking about the time I'd spent here.

"I always found that just getting down here was an achievement," I explained to Al after he asked about the green paper frog on the far wall, "so someone started sticking those up, with different coloured arrows depending on the place, I still got lost but it definitely helped." Apparently Kurt had been deferring his questioners to me, because I was now being mobbed by the team, Jean and Scott trying in vain to shush them.

"Where'd you find him?" Bobby asked, I turned to look at him and started to answer but I was cut off by Rouge.

"How did he get there?"

"Well-" I started, but this time Kitty spoke over me.

"Who're the people with you? Are you staying long?"

"How about ya just shut up an' let her talk!" Logan said loudly over the noise, the team grew quiet.

"Thank you. Well, I found Kurt in the secret base that I share with my friend Peanut, the one I mentioned last time I was here. He was kidnapped by scientists and taken to some kind of lab, where he was then rescued by Peanut. The people with me are my friends; they live in my world with me, Oryx lives in a castle a little further down from mine, and Edward and Alphonse Elric got roped into staying with us a little while back. I have no clue how long we'll be staying, I want to show these guys around."

I gestured to Oryx, Ed, and Al as I introduced them and looked at my audience to see if they had anymore questions. I was greeted with silence so I pulled out a deck of cards and started handing them 'round.

"What do we do with these?" Jean asked.

"Well I don't know! Wear them as hats!" I replied sprinkling confetti over the X-Men and skipping away up the stairs, grabbing Oryx and Al as I did so, Al grabbed Ed as I towed them away.

I towed my friends behind me towards the room I stayed in the last time I was here, following the frogs and looking for the red paper flower. Happily; the flower was still stuck on the door, I pushed it open and swept an arm to encompass the whole space.

"Isn't it nice? Look at this view!" I said, towing them over to the window and drew back the curtains, revealing rolling green hills and a small wood in the distance. Apart from the view, there wasn't a lot to look at, just a bed and cupboard.

"Well that's my room! Now directly below us is the kitchen, let's have a little looks see shall we?" I said, grabbing a hold of everyone again and Porting into the kitchen. The library followed after that, and the grounds after that. The tour, which mostly consisted of me rambling about wherever it was we happened to be, unless of course we were lost in which case I would just talk about whatever came into my head at the time, and the others would more or less listen.

Storm insisted that we stay for dinner and I was all too happy to eat one of her beautifully cooked masterpieces again, and assured the others that they would enjoy it also. We were invited to stay the night and I was sorely tempted, but I got a call from Peanut on the phones Oryx had invented a few weeks ago asking me to come back and help her stop a fight that had broken out between some demon hunters and Jack.

"I'm really sorry guys but Peanut needs our help, must dash." I said to the team, giving them a cheery smile before seizing my companions and Porting back to the secret base.

We came across the fight fairly quickly, after a few failed attempts at explaining to a group of demon hunters from various worlds that Jack was in fact just an anomaly and not an evil creature from the Netherworld whose sole purpose was to cause pain and suffering I covered them all in a sticky grey gloop that set quickly and hard before flaking off a few hours later.

"Hopefully that should give them some time to get used to the idea." I said to Peanut, she nodded thankfully, looking very tired. "Are you feeling alright?" I asked her, "You look exhausted; go get some rest. We'll stay for a while and settle everyone down, you just go sleep." I propelled her in the direction of the door leading to the room she slept in. She barely protested, she was so thoroughly tired out by the day.

I shoed as many of the characters as would listen to me into a hammock and left the others under strict instructions of silence before claiming a few hammocks for myself, Ed, Al, and Oryx and falling into my purple-tinged dream world.


	40. Throughout

**Finally I have been released from my schooling life and have begun my non-school related one. I like the word "Throughout" It's so weird. I've added a little more to the previous chapter so that I could start this one when I did.**

It's fine, I didn't really need my brain anyway, plenty of people seem to go through life just fine without theirs.

I lay on a long white deck chair on my favourite balcony outside the library, sipping lemonade from my green rabbit-shaped cup and reading a comprehensive guide to cooking pears when trying to pretend they're actually onions. Sipping my drink, I considered going to check on the recent plot of flowers I had asked the Minions to plant, the project was to be done at their leisure so I wasn't expecting a lot to be done but I really wanted it done so I was prepared to let them take as long as they liked planting them and help out when I felt like it.

I had decided to remodel the bare stretch of cloud behind the castle that was behind the statue garden and in front of the Sun Lake. My reasoning being that plain white cloud was bland and saddening after too long and it reflected the sun something terrible.

I was just facing the unhappy prospect of having to get out of the chair when I heard a strange noise echoing over the cloud. A muffled roaring swept through the air, reverberating inside the castle walls and bouncing around inside my head.

I jumped to my feet and Ported to the very top of the tallest tower of the castle and hung as far out of the window as I could, looking all around for the source of the noise. In the distance, coming from the direction of The Dark Forest; was a gigantic swarm of Piskies.

"Ed!" I shrieked, clattering around inside the library, "Where are you? The Piskies are attacking again!" Hayashi streaked past me, away from the oncoming Piskie invasion, but I got no reply from the blonde alchemist I was searching for. At that moment the doorbells of the castle started ringing loudly. I ran downstairs and raced to the door and yanked it open. Three people practically fell into the hall and I slammed the door shut behind them.

"What were they! And where are we!" A blonde girl said in an accent I gauged to be English of some description.

"No idea! Isn't it brilliant?" A tall skinny man in a brown suit with blue pinstripes and a long tan coat said in an accent I also deemed to be English while looking around the hall with a look of ecstatic fascination.

"And just as importantly; who are you?" A tall brown haired man wearing a long military coat and, I noted with apprehension, a gun holster, said as I realised a few seconds later; to me. I jumped a little bit and stepped away from the wall next to the door.

"I'm Frog, but if you want to you can call me Robyn, it can be my code name! I've never had a code name!" I said, "Oh, and you're in my castle."

"Captain Jack Harkness it's a pleasure." The man who had spoken to me first said, holding out his hand and shooting me a smile I couldn't help but replicate. I shook his hand, noticing as I did that he spoke with an American accent, and just as interestingly; how devastatingly handsome he was.

"Love the coat Captain." I said, it really was an awesome coat, he just smiled some more, making my knees feel a little wobbly.

"Hi I'm The Doctor this is Rose." The skinny man said quickly, gesturing to the girl standing next to him, "What are those things?" He continued, gesturing out the window in the far wall at the oncoming swarm of Piskies.

"Oh my Jed I almost forgot about them!" I screamed, pulling out my Oryx-Phone™ and calling Oryx's number.

"Hello?" Al's voice questioned from the other end.

"Al! Is Oryx with you? What about Ed?" I yelled frantically.

"Yeah they're both here what is it, what's wrong?" I felt a small wave of relief wash through me but it was overwhelmed again by my general panic. I heard a small click on Al's end, "You're on speaker." He explained.

"The Piskies are swarming, I've never seen so many, we can't fight them off, just get inside if you aren't and barricade as much as you can. Don't leave, just stay there use the phones to keep in touch." I heard someone start to argue and spoke louder, "We can't leave ourselves open to anything getting in, anything get it! They'll be here soon; we have ten minutes at the most, good luck."

I flipped the phone shut and ran over to the doors again. For some reason my Summoning didn't wok on Hayashi or Yuki Kagayakimasu, so I just opened the door and called as loud as I could, with my voice and in my head, and hoped it was enough.

A few seconds later Hayashi trotted in through the door and scaled up my legs and torso to my shoulder, where he came to rest, lashing his tail angrily. Yuki Kagayakimasu was right behind him, cantering quickly through the doors, coat gleaming in the sun.

"What the hell's going on?" He asked, The Doctor, Captain Jack Harkness and, Rose all jumped in surprise.

"Yeah, he talks. Believe me, sometimes I wish he couldn't!" I yelled as I dashed away up the stairs, only to come barrelling back down a moment later to shut the door. I put my hand on it to slam it shut, then turned quickly around, "How did you get here, can you get back? I advise you get out of here!" The Doctor looked at Rose and Jack.

"I came in a ship, the TARDIS she's called, we were trying to get to Barcelona you see, but I don't know… Something went wrong, she sounded upset…"

"We came out near this forest and all those things were there, we seemed to upset them or something." Rose said when The Doctor lapsed into silence.

"Near the edge of The Forest you say? Yeah I can see it, hold on." I found the aberration and tried to shift it, but it was unbearably heavy, though it was all of seven feet tall. It slipped in the grip of my Summoning, like it was fighting back, but I just managed to get it inside the front doors and slumped against them as I released the weight of it, causing them to swing shut.

Tall and blue, the rectangular box stood in the middle of the hall, casting a faint light that I couldn't quite identify the specific source of. The Doctor ran forward but instead of going to his ship he ran straight past it and to me, pulling out a thin silver stick he explained shortly to be his Sonic Screwdriver. He waved it around a bit and looked at it, turning it over.

"How did you do that? What species are you?" He waved it around some more.

"Human last time I checked. Though to be honest those tentacles I sprouted from the top of my head made me a little nervous." I said sarcastically, The Doctor looked up at my head, realised I was joking, and grinned.

"Would you let me scan you in the TARDIS? Just a little scan to see what's going on." He asked, looking so exited at the prospect I just had to agree,

"Alright then, just not now; I'm in a bit of a hurry what with our impending doom and all."

"What about those things, what did you call them? What are they? Where did they come from?" Jack interjected,

"They're Piskies and they were here when I got here. Wait, no they weren't. They arrived after I created the Forest."

"After you _created_ the forest? So you planted it?" Rose asked, I shook my head.

"I just sort of imagined it being there and then it was, and the Piskies sort of came with it, or appeared a little bit afterwards." I shrugged, Jack and The Doctor both looked intrigued, Rose looked a little confused mixed with some scepticism.

The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by Yuki Kagayakimasu yelling that the Piskies were getting closer. Horrified by my lapse in concentration I stood in front of the doors and raised my arms, they glowed faintly golden and a loud clashing reverberated through the castle.

I pulled off my moon pendant and held it to the door; letting it soak up the light and reflect it back. I clasped the pendant back around my neck and started to run up the stairs again, this time The Doctor, Rose, and Jack followed after me.

We pounded down corridor after corridor, heading to the tower I had first seen the Piskies from.

"What will they do if they get in, these Piskies?" Rose said as I stopped to unlock the tower door.

"Well, they've always hated me, so I'd probably be dead; don't know about you three though, probably torture you for a while and then feed you to their chimera." I said as we started up the tightly wound staircase to the very top of the tower.

I ran over to the window once we reached the small room that was at the top of, handing Hayashi to Jack, I opened the window and started climbing out. Rose reached out and grabbed my ankle,

"What are you doing!" She yelled, I shook my leg violently, forcing her to let go.

"I have to shield the castle; the highest point is the best place to do it!" I yelled back as I Ported from the window to the very top of the tower, hanging onto the spire that decorated the roof. I clutched onto the metal pole with both hands, pulling off my moon pendant and touching it to the metal.

The light from the crescent moon flowed out and down the pole; I spread it across the entire castle in a tight skin and extended it around the garden as far and as high as I could without passing out from the strain. The light flared up briefly before fading away; leaving behind a faint shimmering outline around everything it had touched. In the distance I could see Oryx's castle shining with a similar silver-blue light.

Glad that they were all safe I prepared myself for the climb down to the window; the protection prevented even me from Porting in or out, or getting in any other way, and the only opening in the barrier was that window, hence the importance of opening it in the first place.

Without me noticing thick grey storm clouds had gathered above my cloud and they chose that moment to pour forth with torrential rain. I took a tentative step towards the edge of the roof, and felt both my feet slip out from underneath me, my hands slipped off the spire and I crashed onto the roof surface and slid towards the edge.

I scrabbled at the wet tiles of the roof, trying to gain some purchase, but the extent of the magic I had just used was so draining as to render me incapable of doing so and I continued sliding towards the edge. I closed my eyes as I felt the solid surface run out and a started to fall…

And then I cried out in shock as I felt hands close on my wrists and my body was hoisted back up onto the roof. My eyes flew open and I found myself looking up into the oh-so-blue eyes of Captain Jack Harkness.

"That could have been quite a fall." He said smiling roguishly.

"Thanks." I replied, pushing my sodden hair out of my eyes, "How'd you get up here?" I asked, worried I'd left a gap in my protection, Jack held up his wrist and tapped at the thick watch-like contraption strapped there.

"Vortex Manipulator. Speaking of which, let's get out of this rain." He reached out and grabbed my hand, placing it on top of the watch-thing. "Take a deep breath." I complied, closing my eyes and filling my lungs. I heard a small short beep and felt my feet leave the ground and slam back into it again.

The rain had vanished, but that was pretty much all I gathered for a few seconds, as my brain felt like it was being spun lightly inside my skull. It was a very different sensation to Porting; much rougher. I waited for the feeling to lessen and opened my eyes. I was standing inside the tower room again, dripping water onto the carpet.

"You alright? Some people find it very disorienting." Jack asked, I nodded.

"It's a little rough, have you considered finding a less drastic way to teleport? There are options you know, though if it does other things then- wait a minute." I walked over to the window and shut it, closing the barrier over the entire castle. "Try that again, use that to go somewhere." Jack pushed a few buttons and vanished, I spun around, hoping he'd bounce off the shield and appear somewhere; he did appear again a few moments later.

"I just went a mile or so that way, there was a giant field of bluebells, spreading out towards the horizon." He said I clapped happily,

"They finished the bluebells! I'll go have a look later! Wait a minute; you can get through my barrier? It doesn't go out that far!" I ran the few steps over to his side and examined the device on his wrist. "How does it work?" Jack launched into a long stream of techno babble and I held up a finger to silence him.

"Do more people have this technology?"

"A few, not many now though."

"Does it do inter-dimensional travel?"

"Nothing travels between universes anymore." The Doctor put in from the side, I shrugged.

"Okay then, whatever you say." He looked at me strangely and I smiled.

"Can you tell me how it works again, this time with smaller words and fewer sentences?"

"Sometimes a little Techno-babble is good for you." Jack said back, I frowned.

"Yeah but you know what isn't good for you? Getting kidnapped by evil little Piskies and fed to their creepy chimera after they steal that Vortex thing, that's very not good for you. So, telling me how it works, quickly while we walk."

I started for the door and Jack grabbed his coat and started up explaining his Vortex Manipulator again, only this time he cut the jargon and made it more understandable. I walked as quickly as I could to the library and pushed the doors open. All the while being followed by two or three Minions, who were mopping up the tiny tracks of water Jack and I were trailing behind us.

"Do you mean you can travel between universes? How did you do that teleporting thing before? You just vanished." The Doctor asked as I walked through the shelves towards the internal stairs and started climbing them.

"Well, yeah I can." I passed the landing for the second and third levels by; the library had shuffled the floor order again, "My friend Peanut makes Portals to travel, they look really epic too, but I just Port usually, also walking out the castle door gets you to a dimension sometimes, it's great for parties when people need to go home and I don't have the energy or time to transport them all."

"But how do you do it? Is it genetic? Have you always been able to do it? And how big is this place?" The Doctor asked, looking up; trying to see how high the stairs went.

"Well I think another floor or two appeared last week so around eight floors, fairly large, separated into fiction and non-fiction, and organised within that also." I explained as we passed the landing for the third floor, reached the fourth, and turned of into the rows of books.

"What do you mean appeared? Bits of buildings don't just appear out of nowhere." The Doctor said as I started walking, faster now, down the rows, pulling down books as I went, and headed for a table.

"Okay, sure, they were always there I just never noticed." I said sarcastically, opening the first book, scanning the contents page and snapped it closed again and put it to the side.

"Actually, another one appeared this morning." Said a Minion who was walking past with a stack of books piled in her arms that was piled so high she had to look around it just to see where she was going. Rose made a sympathetic noise and took around half the books off of the minions stack.

"Let me help you, where are we going with these?" The little woman smiled in thanks and led Rose to the correct shelves. I continued flipping through my book feverishly, sped by an ominous whirring of wings that was slowly drawing closer.

"What are you looking for probably I can help." The Doctor declared, pulling one of the books I hadn't check towards him and starting to flip through the pages at top speed.

"I know I read something about blocking teleports in one of these books, and something about time travel in another one, but I don't know which one!" I threw one of the books away from me and it skidded to the edge of the table and onto the floor.

"Nothing in this one. I've never seen this kind of thing before what is it?" The Doctor said, Jack picked up the book off the floor and placed it on the table.

"Alchemy, from Amestris," I replied slowly, "found it!" I spread the book out on the table and pointed at a transmutation circle on one of the pages. "Teleportation dampener, they started work on it just after they found technology for teleportation in a Southern country." I pointed to pencil marks on the drawing, "Ed improved it so it should work better than it did when they used it, it'd better." I marked the page and kept scanning the books, trying to go faster without missing anything.

"Is this what you're looking for?" Jack asked, pushing a small black leather journal towards me and tapping one of the pages, written in Ed's just-decipherable handwriting was the phrase 'time travel?' I whooped happily and snatched up the books, running out of the library and down to the hall again.

Jack ran after me, Rose looked up from helping the minion and joined him, The Doctor was still reading when we ran off and it took him a few seconds to catch up. As I went I pulled out my Oryx-Phone™ and dialled Ed's number.

"Ed!" I yelled when I heard him answer, "Where are you! You have to get to the Entrance Hall of Oryx's castle right now!"

"What? Why?" He asked, sounding worried now.

"Go and I'll explain!" I heard his breath quicken as he started running. I pounded into the Entrance Hall and threw myself at the floor, pulling a piece of chalk out of my pocket.

"I'm there, what do I have to do?"

"I need you to draw a Transmutation circle on the floor, you remember the ones for time travel and teleportation blocking? I'm trying to combine them into one circle for both of them." Ed drew in a breath and I could hear chalk scratching at the ground, he gave me a quick and precise description of the circle, I copied it out as carefully as I could while rushing.

"That should work." Ed said apprehensively.

"Good, just activate it, fortify the doors, and keep your spirits up. Good luck!" I flipped the phone shut an looked at the circle in front of me; it would have to do. I pressed my hands to the ground and willed the Alchemy into action.

**Next time on CCC: The Alchemy activates, and people are explored.**


	41. Dexteriously

"What?" Came from behind me, The Doctor I presumed, as the electric blue light flared up and the protection seeped into the castle and spread out to encompass the border I created earlier, interjected with another few "What?"s from The Doctor.

The light faded and I stood up, feeling drained. As I did so the doors shook mightily as The Piskies finally converged on the castle. I screamed as the castle groaned and shook and ice chips rained down from the ceiling.

"It's not safe here! Come on!" Rose tugged at my arm as The Doctor led the way towards his TARDIS; I waved my hand towards it and shook my head at the same time.

"I have to get the Minions out!" I yelled and ran out of the hall and away towards the library again, I ran to the little reading room off of the first floor of the library, or at least that's where it was today.

The room was cosy and well lit, containing only a few shelves packed with my favourite books for that month and Ed's relevant research journals, a desk placed to capture an optimum amount of sunlight and artificial light, and one shoved in the other corner that I used every now and then, and many comfy chairs.

Today the minions had placed a number of very small three-legged tables around the room, each topped with a candle that was fixed to it, and the tables themselves were fixed to the floor.

These proved to be invaluable when, first, the electricity went, and second a Piskie plastered itself to the window and I was forced to create shutters on all the windows in the library and the rest of the castle. Using my Elemental Staff, I created a small flame that floated in mid-air to light the candles.

I reached over and plucked a microphone off the small coffee table in the middle of the small circle of chairs. Pushing the button on the microphone, I began my announcement over my new castle-wide sound system,

"Attention please, Minions I think you for your hard work, but this is a very dangerous situation that none of you need to be involved in, you can't help any more than you already have, except by getting yourselves out. Oryx's castle won't be so badly hit as this one, and if I reign in my protection to the castle and a certain height above ground, you should be able to make it there safely." Another bout of shaking rocked the castle; I continued speaking once it had passed.

"I will be making these changes in half an hour, they will revert back half an hour after that. Thank you all again for your dedication." I clicked on my stopwatch to measure the half hour, and put it in my pocket.

I ran back to the Hall and looked around for The Doctor, Rose, and Jack, continuing to protect my head from the falling ice chips. I remembered they were in the TARDIS and ran quickly over to it and rapped on the door. Jack pulled it open and smiled devastatingly before stepping back and letting me inside.

The walls where curving and high, a sort of grey colour, and dotted with what I supposed might be windows, small circular depressions that shone slightly yellow. The floor was grated and metal and the sound of my footsteps reverberated around the space as I walked.

Strange coral shapes, over one of which the Doctor's coat was draped, surrounded a hexagonal console in the centre that was covered in dials and switches and lights, above which a glass tube extended towards the high arched ceiling, from which an almost eerie blue light emanated.

I noticed the Doctor standing at the console with Rose, demonstrating the use of a certain small red button, I walked closer to hear what he was saying.

"And so I never ever press this button when I'm low on bananas." He finished, noticing me standing there, staring. "What do you think?" He said with the air of a little boy showing of his new bike.

"By Jed…It's very beautiful." I said looking up and around once again at the organic coral shapes surrounding me and the graceful arch of the ceiling. I felt a warm feeling wash into my mind and twitched, looking around. The presence filled my mind with calm, but it seemed to be coming from all around me. Entranced I walked over to one of the coral shapes and pressed against it, the ship was alive!

"It… No, she… She's alive?" I said quietly, leaning my head against one of the pillars and sending back my own feelings of wonder. I had heard things, but this was a different kind of alive, not just living like a tree or bush, but sentient! The Doctor nodded proudly, Rose smiled, Jack smirked and chuckled lightly and I wondered what exactly he was thinking.

"She likes new people, every now and then I think she takes me somewhere totally random just so she can show off." He said fondly, stroking the column gently.

"Should we leave you two alone?" Jack said, gesturing to the control panel, The Doctor rolled his eyes and bounded away a few steps towards a door at the far end of the room.

"How about that scan you promised? It won't take long really."

"I have to be back out there in," I pulled out my stopwatch, "twenty-five minutes, is that long enough?"

"Oh oodles of time!" The Doctor said, bounding down the corridor, I ran after him, Rose and Jack following behind us at a slightly more leisurely pace.

The little medical bay was white and clean, but still it had the high curving ceiling and organic lines, the exam table rising smoothly out of the floor.

"Just sit on that and hang around for a bit." The Doctor said, pushing a few buttons and shooing me towards the table, I sat on it gingerly and tried to relax, swinging my legs.

"Before you asked for the scan you asked what species I was, does that mean you were expecting me to be something else? I mean, I look human enough."

"Outward appearance isn't always everything, I mean look at… Well, look at me."

"So you're really an alien too are you?"

"Oh yes! Two hearts and everything!"

"No way! That's awesome!" I said, he grinned goofily again.

"Those phone calls you've been getting, friends of yours?" I nodded,

"Oryx, Ed, and Al, I might have mentioned them before. Oryx was with me when we first came here and we sort of dragged Ed and Al into it." The Doctor nodded, pressing a few buttons.

"You're a bit young to be on your own like that aren't you? No family with you?" Images of my parents welled up in my mind but I quelled them, shaking my head.

"Not here," The Doctor looked at me over his computer screen, and went back to typing silently,

"Okay! We're done! Now let's look at the results!" The Doctor said after what must have been about three seconds of silence.

He pushed a button on the wall beside him and a see through version of me, sitting on the table appeared on a nearby wall, it flickered and then re appeared in a standing position, before flickering again and reappearing.

"What on Earth is going on in there?" Jack said as he and Rose walked into the room. The third version of my body on the wall looked remarkably like the other two, only it was shining with a golden light that reflected on the white walls.

"Whoa!" Rose said, staring up at the shining me. I looked at The Doctor; he was also staring at the scan, glasses on his face as well as an intense expression.

"That's not right, it can't be right." He murmured quietly, and the scan sped in, focusing on my feet, and began to move upwards slowly, highlighting each one of my organs as it went.

"What is it, what's wrong?" I asked The Doctor, he took a sharp breath in and looked at me.

"I don't know. Well," He said louder, interrupting himself, "I do know, sort of. You're human, but different also, there's something... When are you from?" I paused at the question, not used to the language.

"2010." I answered, he frowned.

"Humans might have gotten to a stage somewhere like this, but not for millions of years after that." He said quietly, staring, I stared back.

He brought out his Sonic again and started waving it around, along with a small green ball which he asked me to hold in alternating hands. After a series of these tests The Doctor sank into a chair and rested his head on a hand.

"So something has happened to change your biology, to give you these abilities, but what?" He muttered, I started swinging my legs again, and jumped as the stopwatch in my pocket bleeped, I bounded off the table and down the coral hall in the direction, I hoped at least, of the console room and the door.

I burst out of the TARDIS into my castle and sank into a nearby chair, closing my eyes, spreading my barrier out in a thin layer from my castle to Oryx's, feeling the Minions in the castle walking under it and trying to keep it high enough so that it wouldn't crush them. My hands gripped the chair tightly as I fought against the barrier as it strained to snap back and the Piskies that were trying to break through it.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked she must have followed me out of the ship; I nodded though a frown creased my face as a tag team of Piskies took up beating at my shield.

"I just have to hold this for another half an hour while all the Minions get out."

"Hold what? What are you doing?" I heard the Doctor's voice and the scan flashed in my mind would Oryx's look like that too? Human but different… Well we did sort of know that.

"My shield, against the Piskies, I do things like that- Ow!" I yelled, putting a hand to my head as a blinding pain exploded behind my eyes, my shield slipped but I was just able to hang on and keep the Minions safe though I felt them speed up.

"What was that are you alright?" Rose asked, I nodded while still clutching my head in my hands as I heard the door to the TARDIS open and close again. Footsteps crossed the hall and stopped in front of me.

"What's going on, let me help you." The Doctor said quietly, I tried to breathe deeply to answer him, but another spasm of pain rolled over me and I could only groan. When it passed I reached out and grabbed my microphone again, projecting it not only throughout the castle but into the minds of my Minions.

"All Minions must vacate the premises immediately, the shielded path to the other castle will only hold for another few minutes, please for you own sake get over there as quickly as possible." There were no more Minions inside my castle, they had evacuated very efficiently, but there were at leats a hundred of them between here and Oryx's castle.

I could hear the Doctor's voice saying something, joined by Rose and Jack, but the pain in my head was building and I needed to focus. My mind was straining and it felt like it was going to implode as the last Minion made it to Oryx's castle.

I breathed a sigh of relief and carefully let my shield spring back into place, shooting Piskies in all directions as it did. The pressure of my mind, however, didn't ease, if anything it intensified and I slumped to the floor, groaning as I realised who was doing it, Ishzusx, the Piskie queen.

Cold and hard her mind pressed against mine, stifling my thoughts and clouding my vision when I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling. I fought desperately but I could feel my will draining as my mind succumbed to her powerful onslaught.

The warm presence of the TARDIS blanketed my thoughts, locking Ishzusx out of my head and casting her far away, overwhelming the Piskie with her golden being. I opened my eyes again and sat up from my curled up position on the floor and winced at the brightness of the light.

"What was that?" The Doctor asked, crouching down in front of me and looking intently into my face.

"Ishzusx, the Piskie queen, she really hates me but that was some kind of mental attack or something. The TARDIS, she protected me and fought Ishzusx off." I said, sending warm feelings of thanks to the glowing ship and feeling it send little happy tendrils of thought back.

"Did she? But how did you know who it was? Either of them? And why was you're scan so different? Who, no, what are you?" He said, almost to himself. I shrugged,

"Until you came along I was just a human who could do crazy stuff."

"I'll say. You got the TARDIS here, remember Doctor? How did you do that? And the shield? You can communicate with the TARDIS can't you?" Jack said, coming to crouch next to the Doctor, I felt Rose stand beside me and drape something over me, Jack's coat, I realised, seeing he was without it, and recognising the slightly intoxicating scent wafting around me.

"You can talk with the TARDIS?" The Doctor said intensely, I winced a little at the volume.

"I don't know about talk, I don't really do the whole mind-reading and voice thing, I can project my voice a little with microphones, this is more like sharing impressions and emotion." I tried to explain, he nodded.

"I still don't understand…"

"Well we should have plenty of time, providing that holds," Rose commented as the door shook again, "doesn't sound like they're giving up any time soon." The Doctor nodded in agreement and then stood up, motioning to Jack and Rose to help me up and walked back to the TARDIS.

"We'll be safest in here, I promise." He said to me as I walked shakily into the great vaulted room, and it felt so very safe, the shining beacon that was the ship enveloping me in its light. I sank onto the strange chair near the console, shivering slightly though Jack's coat was warm, and The Doctor waved a thin golden stick around near me.

Rose left the room and came back a couple of seconds later with a steaming mug, which she handed to me. I extracted my hands from inside the sleeves of Jack's coat, with a small amount of difficulty, and sipped the liquid.

"Instant tea, really nice though." She said, I sipped the mug, clutching it in both hands and watching the stick thing glow blue.

"What does that mean?" Jack asked from his position leaning against one of the pillars, The Doctor frowned.

"It's like, something changed your composition, changed what you're like inside, how you work."

"Well, when I came here with Oryx, we were just talking, just sitting having a conversation and then there was this flash and I was here, but it was just plain cloud and the castles. We sort of tested what we could do and I found this book and it seemed to sort of explain what was going on; I suppose that was the beginning of the library.

"We just want stuff to happen and it happens, we Summon stuff, and Port places, and travel inter-dimensionally all the time. Oryx has an enchanted bow and arrows, there're elves living in the Forest, and I have my Elemental Staff. Not being normal has become normal around here."

"But travel between dimensions is impossible isn't it Doctor?" Jack said, I shrugged,

"Not for me or Peanut."

"Elemental Staff? Elves? Enchanted how?" Rose asked, I held up my staff and set my Moon Pendant into it. I conjured up a whip of water and wound it around the Doctor's hand, twirling it through the air like a ribbon before pulling of my Moon Pendant and vanishing both the water and the staff.

"Does that make it work?" The Doctor asked, pointing at the pendant, I shook my head.

"Not really, they just seem to fit together, I can use the staff without the pendant though, I learnt to use it before I got the pendant, I have no idea what the pendant does on its own. I have a cliff too you know, just appears when I feel like it and I fall down into some water usually." All three of them raised their eyebrows, "Yeah, somehow I never get hurt, you know once I was captured by muffins and…Never mind." The Doctor's eyebrows looked like they were about to climb off of his head.

"Okay so let me see if I have this; you disappeared from your home and appeared in a strange building on a cloud, and discovered that you could make anything happen just by wanting it to? Ever thought about going into politics?" Jack said, I smiled.

"It works best here, though once or twice I did think about going home and changing the world and stuff, ending poverty and hunger just by making food and water appear for all these people, but it didn't feel right, firstly, and it would send the world into a frenzy for another thing."

The Doctor nodded, and bounced into a standing position from leaning against the TARDIS console. He walked up and knelt down in front of me again, raising his hands.

"Do you trust me?" He said, I hesitated for a moment and nodded. "I might be able to figure this out, I _can_ figure this out, but there's only one way, you have to trust me." I nodded again, "Close your eyes." I obeyed and felt his cool hands on my temples, fingers on each side of my ears and slipping into my hair a little ways.

A presence invaded my mind, unlike the TARDIS or Ishzusx, and yet like both of them at once. Cold and burning, black and white, like the sun and a glacial mountain all at the same time, a mind as old the universe and full of busy thoughts. I gasped and my eyes fluttered open, the Doctor was in my mind!

"That is very invading." I said, feeling The Doctor working his way through my mind, dodging stray thoughts, to peruse and browse through my memories, and not liking the feeling at all. The presence arrived at my memories and began sifting through them like they were files in a cabinet, "And that's just rude." I said to The Doctor, he smiled faintly.

"If there's anything you don't want me to see just imagine it behind a door and shut it." He said quietly, I quickly selected all my memories of Doctor Who and shut them behind a door, covering it in imaginary boards and nails, but I left almost everything else.

The Doctor made some comment about cowboys and continued his perusal of my head. Becoming more used to the feeling of someone inside my head I left the strange hot and cold presence that was him in my head sifting through my memories of primary school and discovered a strand of the same presence leading out of my mind, I was about to leave it and watch The Doctor watching my memories when a golden tendril snaked into my mind and pulled me down the path into someplace new.

I felt a shiver pass through me as I looked around me, as much as a mind can, it was cavernously empty and full of thoughts, busy and still, hot and cold all over again. It looked almost like the TARDIS, high and arching, with a bright column in the centre shining with blue light.

Loneliness, a deep loneliness radiated from all sides, many, many shut doors, large black and looming, and one that was covered in chains, though they were smoking slightly.

I reached out and touched the door, and pulled back immediately; intense images of pain and suffering were transmitted to me and I felt a tear slip down my cheek at the waves of sadness and loneliness that were overwhelming me.

I touched a different door, next to the chained one, and saw stars and planets and cities and people speed by and whirl around me until I wrenched my hand away from the door, stumbling back until I hit the chained door, crying out in the physical world at the immense flow of emotions.

"Ah, side effects you may feel old memories re-awakening, it's not nice but you have to deal with it, just keep your mind open." The Doctor said, I nodded silently, still in front of the door from which the pain radiated, pain and flames and death. I stumbled away from it and almost bumped into the bright shining pillar.

A strange and beautiful song was emanating from it, haunting and sad, I tried to hold back the tears but they wouldn't stop, The Doctor was sifting through my memories of the first days I spent in the castle and I remembered fondly my first meeting with Ed and Al, the first party we threw all together.

"You're doing well, don't give up." The Doctor said, I sent a silent affirmation his way and studied the shining pillar, it looked almost exactly like the pillar in the centre of the TARDIS, a laugh distracted me and I turned towards it.

Off in the distance a memory was drifting lazily by, The Doctor, Rose and Jack, laughing at something out of sight. I touched the memory and more floated to the surface, places I had never seen strange creatures in fantastical locations. And a line of faces, ten in total, the last being the man in front of me.

The Doctors, I realised, all his past lives, I tapped one of the faces and it unfolded before me; a different TARDIS, different people travelling inside her, a different man. The Doctor was getting further into my memories, closer to the present, and I continued around the cavernous place, feeling strange and intrusive, like I was trespassing, which I suppose was, but like I was trespassing on something sacred, like a church or a holy site, while some sacred rite was being performed.

Tears were falling faster now and I pulled out of The Doctor's mind, unable to stand the immense pressure of the sadness surrounding me there, though the haunting song stayed with me.

"Please…" I whispered, Rose put her arms around my shoulders. "So alone always alone no matter how many people you find…"

"What does she mean?" Jack asked, coming closer.

"I'm almost through, just hang on a little longer," The Doctor said, his voice sounded different now, through it I could hear that beautiful song, so sombre and yet full of a passionate fire that was as frightening as it was entrancing.

"Always alone. A head so full, a life so lived, and so much more left, time and time and time… All time inside and…" I rambled the Doctor stopped in the middle of examining a memory of the formal party Oryx and Al held, I whisked it away and shut it behind a door, just for kicks.

"What?" The Doctor said, his eyes flying open now, he flick quickly through my remaining memories, months speeding by in seconds. "What do you mean, what time?"

"Many faces…" I said, trying to stop myself, but I felt another presence in my mind now, the TARDIS, willing me to speak, to say the words that were tearing at my insides. "Many faces… All of time and space and life and love and worlds and worlds… Madness and sadness and happiness and terrible anger. How can you contain it all? And not just burn up with the force of it?" I reached up and placed my hands on top of his, prodding his mind back inside his head, bringing myself and the TARDIS with him.

"What are you doing?" He sounded wary, and his mind flashed. "Stop it." Tears fell onto my fingers, my tears, sadness and pain.

"The silence when they leave, that tearing, what do you do?" The Doctor wrenched his hands off of my face and I lurched as the connection broke.

"How did you do that?"

"What is it what happened?" Rose asked, looking concerned, Jack helped right me on the seat. I reached out with my mind, meeting The Doctor's mind in mid-reach.

_What did you do? _He asked silently,

_I followed the line from my mind to yours, the TARDIS took me there._ I replied for the first time in my life totally inside my mind, the golden presence descended on us and sent affirmations.

_Why? _

_So I would do this._ I tugged his mind back to mine and opened my door, bringing him inside, the TARDIS watched, sending approving feelings. I pulled this man into the one part of my mind he hadn't already skimmed through like a book, the one bit of my soul left to bare, and showed him what I knew of him, pulling him along my knowledge of his lives and Jack and Rose and their pasts and futures.

Again his eyes flew open and again we both stumbled, I fell off the chair to my knees on the floor he ended up sprawled next to the TARDIS console.

"What?" He yelled, I lay on my back looking up at the vaulted ceiling.

Rose and Jack were insistent that they be told what had just happened over the last half hour. The Doctor was silent, though his song continued, I could hear the tones rising and falling in harmony with Time itself all around me.

"But what was happening? You just sat there." Rose said shakily. We all jumped when the phone in my pocket started ringing, I pulled it out in shaking hands and answered it.

"Frog! What's with all the Minions turning up here!" Oryx yelled from the other end of the line, I pulled a small fraction of myself together, enough to answer her.

"I needed to get them out of here, I hope you don't mind. How're you holding up?"

"Oh fine, I don't mind about the Minions it was just a shock is all when they started pouring in here." I nodded then remembered she couldn't see me and thanked her out loud. "Not a problem, just keep your spirits up!" She said, mirroring my words to her Al and Ed just hours ago, and hanging up. I slumped against the side of the TARDIS and felt Jack come up behind me and sit down, I realised I was still wearing his coat.

"Still loving the coat by the way." I said to him, he chuckled and my eyes slid closed, my mind escaping from the real world into a dreamscape in which anything was always possible, but through which The Doctor's song still haunted me.

**Next time on CCC: Identities are revealed.**


	42. What Do You Get When You Multiply 6 By 9

**Uh, the chapter name refers to the earlier Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie, in which Arthur Dent found out the question by pulling scrabble tiles out of a bag. Because, this is chapter 42... Anyway, enjoy!**

I was in a soft warm bed, and soft light was streaming across it. It was silent, there was no song. I sat up, looking around wildly. I was just about to jump out of bed and start running around frantically when a knock sounded at the door and The Doctor's voice sounded.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course." I replied, he opened the door and walked inside the room almost before I started speaking, as if he genuinely knew I was going to agree, or didn't care if I didn't.

"What did you do?" He asked again, sitting down in an armchair near the bed, harking back to our unvoiced conversation earlier, though I had no idea how long.

"You were in my mind, looking at my memories, and the TARDIS led me out and along this line to this cavernous place filled with doors and dark light." I said, conjuring up The Doctor's mind in mine.

He nodded slightly and I shivered at the memory of the dark chained door with its blood and pain, the line of faces, Time stretching out beyond the limits of my comprehension, making my mind spin at the sheer size of it all,

"And later, what you showed me?" I remembered vividly now, taking this man into the last stronghold in my mind, the information about The Doctor himself, and Jack and Rose, the past and the future.

"In my world… Well you already know don't you."

"Yes, your world, because you can travel through dimensions, and make impossible things happen, twist reality, and find your way inside my head."

"To hear the song." I said, The Doctor frowned, "She wanted me to hear the song; your song, the TARDIS did." I explained, and like a switch flipping inside my mind the song filled it again, that hauntingly beautiful terrifyingly sad song. The Doctor looked sadly and wearily at me from his chair.

"What song?" I reached for him, he flinched a little but let my take his face in my hands. I fed the song through to him, caressing each tone before passing it on into that vast space.

He drew in a breath and I saw the tears flooding his eyes, he clasped his hands over mine and I wasn't in his head anymore, we were in a smaller place, and a new song was reverberating from a long thin rosy red pillar, lilting and single-tuned it sang high over the many-layered melody of complexity that was the Doctor. It was me, I realised, my song, the one you could never hear on your own without someone to show you where it was first.

We sat, listening to the way our two songs intertwined and clashed, fighting against each other and working within each other. Until the TARDIS flowed into our minds bringing with it an image of the Piskies attacking the unicorns. I leaped from the bed and stumbled a little,

"We have to help them!" I cried, The Doctor led the way out to the control room again and we burst out through the doors into the hall.

I ran through the console room, still wearing Jack's coat I noted. I pulled it off and threw it to him as The Doctor and I raced past. Replacing it with my own blue coat by the door, at which I stopped short.

"We can't go outside!" I wailed, "The barrier would break and the Piskies would get in!" I kept seeing the unicorns running for cover, over and over again they tried to save their lives, and I couldn't help.

"Can the TARDIS get to them?" Rose asked, back through the door at what I assumed was the Doctor, and then sighed as he seemed to answer in the negative.

I sank down onto the floor in front of the door and rested my head on the cool ice. The building had stopped shaking now but I could still hear the whirring of wings and the unearthly screeches of the Piskies.

"Arkalon!" I jumped and opened my eyes as The Doctor yelled at the top of his lungs and dashed out of the TARDIS towards the doors.

"You can't go out!" I said, standing up to block the exit, The Doctor made a face like he couldn't believe I didn't get it yet.

"The Arkalon! They wander around worlds, integrating themselves into society, and then bam! They take out the leader and most of the population, enslaving the rest!" He explained at top speed, grinning like a maniac as he went.

"You mean the Piskies? Okay whatever… but you still can't go outside." He sighed explosively and pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver, running it across the door, it started to creak open and The Doctor dashed out past me. I ran after him, followed closely by Rose and Jack, who at least had the sense to close the doors behind him.

We ran out into a swirling haze of Piskies. The Doctor weaved through them nimbly, I batted them away as best as I could, getting bitten and scratched for my troubles, behind me I could hear Rose having a few problems of her own, and more than a few distinct curses from Jack.

When I heard the gunshot I whirled around and tried to see back through the twisting cloud of Piskies. Jack was standing with a dead Piskie at his feet, spattered with its bright green blood, and he was taking aim again. They swarmed over him and I started forward to help, but Rose grabbed my arm and pulled me after The Doctor.

"Leave him! Really he'll be just fine!" She yelled, dragging me after her until I started running again. We made it to the edge of The Forest and took shelter behind an overturned tree.

"What about Jack…" I started as the American leaped over the body of the tree and sat crouched next to us.

"Miss me?" He asked, The Doctor licked a finger and held it up in the air, as if testing the wind. Without a word he scurried out from behind the tree and off in another direction. I sighed as we jumped up to follow him.

"Is he always like this?" I asked Rose as we ran, she nodded.

"All the time." I sped up a little and came level with The Doctor,

"Where are you going? I know this place like the back of my neck I can help."

"That way!" Was his only reply and I left him to his running to scoop up a small field mouse and ask it what it had seen as we ran. He informed me that the Piskie headquarters was empty of all but the queen, which I thought was a stupid move, and that they had just brought back the news of our escape from the castle but that the shields were holding. I paused in my running to set the mouse back on the ground with my thanks.

I was attempting to catch up with The Doctor again when I remembered my newly discovered ability to speak with my mind. I reached out mentally and tapped his mind gently, accompanied by a burst of that sweet song again.

_They'll know we're coming._ The Piskies would be broadcasting it to anything inside The Forest.

_It doesn't matter, them not knowing wouldn't change a thing. I know their weakness. _

_Oooh, scary._ Apparently mind voices could be sarcastic, yet another new discovery. We kept on running until we reached Piskie Glade and, continuing on past that, the fortress.

My field mouse contact had been right, the place was completely empty and we moved towards the centre at our own pace, which was thankfully slower than before. I felt the TARDIS spread a telepathic blanket over Rose, Jack, and me to protect us from Ishzusx and sent the ship my thanks.

"You have the impudence to enter my sanctuary?" A cold voice rang out from the other side of the room; Ishzusx was sitting on her crystal throne of hard edges and coldness. The Doctor stood casually before her, looking around at the crystal room and the multitudes of Doctors reflected on the walls.

"You've certainly made a nice home here, but how much further were you planning to take this? Hard to decide who to kill and who to enslave when there are only a few of them isn't it?" Ishzusx said nothing and he ploughed on.

"It had nothing to do with our arrival, this attack, I was thinking it might have but no; that was just timing. You're just implementing one last stand to take all this for yourselves." She bristled.

"Who are you, to know so much?"

"I'm the Doctor, and I'm the one telling you to go back to your planet."

"Wait you're still going on with that 'the Piskies are aliens' thing?" He looked back at me, I raised my eyebrows.

"What do you think they are then?" Jack asked, I shrugged.

"I have no idea just; aliens?" Jack nodded,

"Yeah, aliens."

"Aliens that have no business plucking people off their planet and changing their construction." The Doctor said, gesturing at me.

"We did not move the Earth-child; we saw a place ripe for the taking and made it our conquest." Ishzusx replied,

"Well you can't have it, so clear off!" I said, she turned her steely gaze on me and I felt her mind press against the golden shield of the TARDIS, and the ship's amusement at the attempt.

"I'm afraid I cannot oblige." She said after a few moments, I snorted.

"Well you're not staying anymore, go home."

"We will not." Came from behind us in a chorus, I turned and saw what must have been most of the army attacking the castles streaming inside the chamber. Jack pulled out his gun and took aim,

"Don't you dare Captain!" The Doctor shouted, Jack fired anyway, a warning shot that grazed Ishzusx's throne, the incoming Piskies froze.

"Put the gun down Jack." The Doctor hissed, Rose nodded, moving slowly towards him as if to try and take it.

"I'd be agreeing with you, if only they hadn't tried to kill me so many times before. Really, them being aliens is just the last straw." I said, pulling out my Elemental Staff and snapping my flame whip.

The Doctor sighed and set his Sonic Screwdriver on the gun, it fell into pieces at Jacks feet. The Captain rolled his eyes at The Doctor and picked up the pieces of metal, putting them inside the bag given to him by the Doctor to be fixed later. The Doctor seemed more uneasy about my flame whip though, and started moving towards me much like Rose had to Jack,

"We can work this out, no need for violence just yet."

"Oh really? Yeah okay, it's not like they've done anything, just tried to kill me more times than I'd like to count, and they tried to kill you three, so no, no need at all." I said, the words dripping with sarcasm, but I doused the flame anyway, leaving the staff in my hand. Ishzusx smiled,

"Bad idea." She said, and the Piskies swarmed inwards towards us, screeching horribly. I swung my staff like a bat at the first one, sending it flying into one of its fellows.

The fight quickly swung in their favour, for every one of them that I disabled three more took its place. I heard Rose cry out as she was overwhelmed by the tide of small aliens, and Jack yelled as they sank sharp teeth into his neck.

I curled into a ball on the floor and covered my head with my arms, feeling the sharp teeth and cruel claws cut into a thousand other places instead. Through the sounds of fluttering wings and harsh screaming I heard Ishzusx call out something, and the little sharp teeth stopped biting, the nails stopped clinging and I felt soft leaf litter under my head.

**Next time on CCC: Halves are made whole.**


	43. Crescendo

Rose helped me to my feet and we stumbled a little unsteadily to Jack, lying on the ground so still and pale I swayed as I looked down at him.

"That looks kind of uncomfortable." I commented, Rose shot me a wary look

"Don't worry, he's really… He'll just…" She didn't seem to be able to form the words, and she didn't have to because as soon as she finished her sentence Jack drew in a huge gasping breath and sat up, stretching his arms above his head.

"Gah! That was mildly unpleasant!" He said loudly, getting to his feet and rolling his neck, producing an uncomfortable cracking sound. I shuddered,

"That looks really nasty, and there's something I never thought I'd say about you." I said, Jack shot me a shattering smile.

"I'm an amazing guy, what can I say?"

"Okay then… So where did the fortress go?" I gestured to the clearing we were standing in, The Doctor wandered in from a little ways into the trees, hands in his pockets.

"It was displaced in time and space along with the Arkalon, not into the Void but somewhere they won't do much harm. Using the energies created by the implosion and supernova of a small star coupled with a special temporal shift at exactly the right moment."

"Huh?"

"They've gone to another place and time somewhere in the universe." The Doctor said, giving me a look like he couldn't believe I didn't understand, one that reminded me of Ed. Thinking of Ed made me remember the others, and the Minions, in Oryx's castle. I pulled out my phone just as it started ringing.

"Gregory's fish mart how can I help you?" I said, there was a momentary pause on the other end.

"You are so strange. I assume that means that the Piskies are gone then?" It was Ed; I smiled at nothing in particular at the sound of his voice.

"Oh yeah, they've been displaced in space and time by the simultaneous implosion of… Oh I don't know; they're not here anymore, okay?" Jack looked amused at the conversation; I smirked back and walked out of the clearing, motioning for the three time-travellers to follow me.

"So we can come out now? Not that I don't love being put in charge of babysitting duty." I giggled; Oryx must have put Ed in charge of the Minions.

"Yeah, send the Minions back, there's going to be a cleaning job and a half after this."

"Will do, over and out." I flicked the phone shut at the dial tone and took a good look around for the first time since the Piskies had started their attack.

Now that they had gone something was different in the very air, it was lighter; the sun permeated deeper into the Forest, the light was golden and touched the leaves with liquid amber. The animals were rejoicing the departure of the Piskies as much as I was and their triumphant calls were like a symphony all around me.

"They were somehow affecting this place too, trying to make it more like their home planet," The Doctor commented as we walked, "a dark miserable place that one, never liked it personally but it works for them."

We made it to the edge of the forest with a small procession of animals surrounding us, squirrels and mice, both Dark and Light unicorns standing side by side, all of them coming together to bask in the joy.

Outside the trees things had changed too, the cloud was no longer bare; it was covered as far as the eye could see in rolling plains of grass and flowers, daffodils and daisies, roses and bluebells mixed and stretched to the horizon, dotted with trees; the life no longer stopped at the border of The Forest, it would never be Dark again, the unicorn and animals streamed out past us and played and frolicked by the lake.

"You have prevailed." I looked sideways and up, the Elves had joined us standing at the edge of the tree line.

"Did you know?" I asked the queen who was standing next to me clothed in gossamer-like cloth, she smiled at me.

"No more than you did, that they were something that did not belong, not ever here." With that she melted back into The Forest with her subjects, I watched her go, flicking a piece of string I pulled out of my pocket absently.

"Is there ever an end to the surprising things here?" the Doctor said I shrugged.

"Not really, though I've never known what she's talking about." I saw a flare of blue-white light that was Oryx removing her barriers and realised that I had better do the same, I raised my hand and removed my protections from the castle.

The Doctor, Rose, Jack and I walked towards the castles but as we were levelling with the lake Oryx appeared a few meters to our right with Al and Ed. The Doctor pounced on the new arrivals, greeting them heartily and scanning them with his Sonic when they weren't looking.

"Well hello there." Jack said to Oryx shooting her a charming smile, "Captain Jack Harkness."

"Your eyes are like vichyssoise for the soul Captain." She replied he looked stunned and confused for at least three milliseconds before hitching his blinding smile back onto his face.

"I'm Alphonse Elric." Al said, bowing slightly to Rose, who smiled and shook his hand.

"I'm Rose, that's the Doctor, and Jack Harkness."

"Where'd you get these ones?" Ed's voice said from over my shoulder; I pulled him forward gently and slung my arm around his shoulders.

"Oh you know, just some randoms I picked up, thought it was a good time, what with the invasion and all." He swatted at me, his Automail catching the sun, and the attention of a certain Doctor.

"And what do we have here?" He said, waving the Sonic around over Ed's arm, "A fake limb that utilises that brainwave energy still being created for it! Oh that is brilliant! The things people think of!"

"Who's this guy?" Ed asked me, I grinned.

"That's The Doctor, he's like that a lot apparently, or so I've heard." I gestured to Rose, who was watching the Doctor jabber on about Ed's arm to at top speed no one in particular with an indulgent smile on her face, and to Jack who was petting Hayashi, it seemed the cat had reappeared.

"What's with the sudden appearance of grass and flowers?"

"Well, turns out the Piskies were aliens and they were stopping this, or so he says." I said, pointing to the Doctor, who had now discovered Ed's leg and was raving about its design once again to no one in particular while Ed leant on me to avoid falling over.

"Aliens?" Al said, he was lying in the grass near the lake edge

"Yeah, not the only ones around here as a matter of fact." I replied, gesturing to the Doctor again, and Jack though I wasn't totally sure about what he was.

"How are you?" I asked Oryx as she and Rose sat on the grass near Al,

"Oh I'm fine we had a ball in there, played some awesome party games, how're you?" I shrugged as I shifted my grip on Ed, moving my arms under his shoulders and linking them around his chest, The Doctor was now holding his foot up in the air to examine the sole.

"Fine, I had these guys to keep me entertained, but I think the castle's going to need some TLC."

"The Minions are all over that." Oryx pointed out, and so they were; they were already crawling all over the outside of the castle, via scaffolding and harnesses to fix up the damage done in the attack, and I had no doubts that if I went inside I would see the same thing.

"Aww, those guys treat me too well." I said smiling fondly at the wonderful little people who made life so much more fun.

"Is anyone else hungry?" Oryx said to the group at large,

"Me!" I called, Ed raised a hand, Al nodded from Oryx's lap, Rose shrugged, and Jack was being mobbed by small fluffy animals and so couldn't answer, and The Doctor wasn't listening as he was too busy ranting about shock absorption.

"Well then, we shall adjourn for lunch, or whatever time it is." I announced, looking up at the sky to try and gauge the time by the sun, and failing at that I shrugged and decided it was lunch-or-whatever o'clock "Come on Shorty." I pulled Ed after me back to the castle, wrenching his foot out of The Doctor's grasp and picking up his shoe as we passed it.

"Who are you calling so small he could be crushed by an electron!" Ed yelled, everyone laughed.

"What's for lunch or whatever?" Oryx asked me,

"Well I know this lovely little café, the one by Peanut's house?"

"Oh I remember that place!" Oryx said happily, "But if we're going to Peanut's house, why are we walking?"

"I just felt like making everyone walk for a little bit, and give Ed a chance to put his shoes on." I replied, and we all stopped walking. "Okay everyone, let's make a chain." I said in an overly bright voice, putting one hand on Ed's head and the other on Al's shoulder. He put his arm round Oryx's waist and she put a hand on Rose's arm.

Rose took the Doctor's hand and Jack, after discovering a small mouse in his hair and setting it on the grass, took Rose's other hand. I smiled and Ported us to just outside the little café that really was just down the end of Peanut's street.

"And that's why _I_ always bring a banana to a party, Doctor." Jack finished as we meandered down the street in no particular direction, to aid the digestion of our lunch-or-whatever-thing.

"Speaking of bananas look it's a dog with a funny hat on!" I yelled, chasing after the small dog, which did indeed have a strange hat on its head.

"Frog come back!" Ed called; I stopped running and waited for the group to catch up to me.

"So, is everyone feeling less full now? Because before the whole invasion thing I was planning on having a dessert party, and George makes a mean banana cheesecake!" I was met with a chorus of affirmatives and I Ported the group back to the castle, just inside the hall.

Much too much cake and ice cream later found me sprawled out on my bed, groaning and holding my stomach.

"Why does it hurt so much?" I complained to Ed, who snorted.

"Oh I don't know it couldn't have been that entire cake you ate or anything." He replied sarcastically, I threw a pillow at him half heartedly and he dodged it easily, laughing.

"Seriously though, you're alright?" I asked, he nodded.

"Yeah, we really did just sort of hang around and play stupid games for most of the time. You never really said what you did, apart from discovering that the Piskies were aliens." He said, somehow making it a question, I thought before I answered.

"Well, I drank some juice, fell of the roof, discovered some new technology, and met some aliens." I said finally, Ed stared for a small while.

"You fell off a roof?"

"Jack caught me, not a problem." I said lightly, shrugging off his concern with a quick smile.

"Which roof?" Ed pressed,

"The tower next to the one with all the stuffed animals in it. Look, what does it matter?"

"Frog, that's the tallest tower in the castle!" He was mad now; I shrank a little then forced myself off the bed and stood up to meet him as he stormed across the room.

"Calm down, I'm fine see? Look." I waved my arms around to accentuate my point; Ed grabbed my hands and forced my arms down by my sides.

"What were you doing up there?" He said, glaring into my eyes, I glared back.

"Protecting the castle, it's the best place to do it from. Oryx knows that too, she would have gone to the highest roof on hers when she protected it." Ed frowned.

"She had a safety harness, _and_ Al there holding her, it got really difficult when it started raining." I nodded.

"The rain certainly didn't help." I would have clapped a hand over my mouth but Ed has still holding them by my sides.

"You were up on the highest roof you could find without any safety precautions, in the rain!" He yelled, I winced and stammered.

"Uh...well…you see…umm…"

"You are impossible!" Ed yelled finally, storming out of the room and clattering away in the direction of the library, I sighed and lay face down on my bed, trying to ignore the slamming door downstairs. Sleep laid clam to my mind and in it again I heard a song. This time, however, it was the single and lilting melody that was my soul.

**Next time on CCC: A journey is announced.**


	44. Inundated

The day was announced loudly by a trio of songbirds that were utterly too cheerful for my taste, as I told them upon opening my window. They fluttered away, replying something in their twittering voices.

I grumbled as I made my way downstairs, but I was cheered considerably by the sight of the TARDIS in the middle of the hall, recalling that my three time-travelling guests hadn't yet left.

Sure enough, I found them, with Al Oryx and Ed, eating breakfast in the small room with large windows that we sometimes ate breakfast in.

"Well good morning Frog! And how are you today!" Oryx greeted me cheerily, I smiled back but said nothing, sitting down next to Ed, who practically ignored me, but I was almost used to it as he had ignored me the entire day previously as well.

"Anyone have any plans for today?" I asked the table at large.

"I saw the most wonderfully coloured bird yesterday, I'm going to see if I can find it again." Al replied, I nodded, usually Al's finding of birds required a lot of sitting in silence being bored so I didn't offer to join him.

"Well I found an interesting recipe for pie a few weeks back and I haven't had the chance to try it out yet, so I was going to take today to do that." Oryx said, I smiled, remembering the last time she'd made pie, it had disappeared faster than I had ever thought a pastry could.

"Sounds good." I replied, she nodded and took her breakfast plate to the sink.

"Alchemy research." Ed grunted, getting out of his chair and walking out of the room just after he did, I sighed.

"And how about you?" I asked Rose, Jack and The Doctor cheerfully, The Doctor sighed and just looked at me, Rose was avoiding my eyes, and Jack was suddenly very interested in a butterfly that was flying past outside. "Just one more peaceful day?" I said,

"You could come with us, for a trip, if you wanted to." The Doctor said, I sighed again, feeling like I was deflating along with my lungs.

"I couldn't, not right now, I have things to do, and yes I know it's a time machine," The Doctor had opened his mouth and I cut across him, "and that's not the point. I'd still be leaving, and I don't want to."

_I can't go. _I said silently to the Time Lord across the table, he looked back very seriously; it was hard not to laugh.

"Come on then, there's a zoo a few galaxies over that you will not believe!" He said finally, standing up and wandering out of the room back to his TARDIS, I followed them, plucking flowers from vases as I passed them. I presented my new bouquet to Rose as they stood at the door of the blue box, she smiled,

"Good luck Missy, I hear that zoo has a reputation for unruly animals, don't get eaten by a Wolf now." I laughed and turned to Jack, he smiled at me for a moment and then swept my into a bone-crushing hug, I wheezed a little and hugged him back.

"You know, Captain, I never liked camping either." I said once my feet were back on the ground, Jack laughed his expansive laugh, "Oh and also, have some coffee, I suspect there's too much blood in your caffeine system." I said, handing him a steaming cup, he started laughing again. The Doctor stood silently, just watching me when Jack and Rose had boarded the TARDIS,

"Could you do me a favour Doctor?" He nodded, "Pass these on to the addresses at the dates on the envelopes?" I handed over two envelopes, one addressed to my family one to Oryx's, written of the front of the envelopes just under the address was the date just a day after we disappeared.

The Doctor took the letters, his serious look becoming more pronounced, I reached up, standing on the very tips of my toes to do so, and ruffled his hair,

"Don't forget me Doctor; park the Blue Lady here anytime." I winked and threw him a banana and a piece of paper with my phone number on it; he looked stunned for a moment, then smiled back. "Off you trot go see your space-zoo, call anytime like I said…"

"Hey Doctor is this light supposed to be blinking like this?" Rose called from inside the TARDIS; the Doctor shot me a last manic grin and vanished inside the time machine.

_Thank you, _I said to the TARDIS she had time to send me what I interpreted as a smile, it was like being bathed in the warmest sunlight for the briefest of moments, before the whirring noise started up again and she faded out of sight.

I hung my head out the window from a kneeling position on Ed's bed; he hadn't made it when he got up that morning so I had no qualms about sitting on it. I watched the wind ruffle the grass gently as it swept across the hills of cloud and the setting sun as it played across the surface of the lake. Impossible he had said, why impossible?

Just because he didn't agree? I was fine, alright I confess going up onto the roof without any safety equipment or precautions hadn't been one of my brightest ideas, but I was in a hurry. But I knew that didn't excuse it. I leant further out the window, stretching my fingers down the wall.

"Try not to fall out the window too; I just know Oryx'd blame me somehow." Ed said kneeling next to me on the bed, I pulled my torso inside the window.

"I'm sorry, it was reckless of me to go up there, but I wanted to keep everyone safe." I said quickly, he smiled a little ruefully.

"I shouldn't have overreacted, what were you supposed to do?" We lapsed into silence again and I returned to staring out the window. Somehow ever since the Doctor left I'd been feeling almost emptier than before, like a hole I hadn't even known existed had been filled and dug again by that astounding man and his bittersweet song.

I rested my arms on the windowsill and put my head on my arms, closing my eyes and listening to try and hear the rustle of the grass.

"You've been moping all day Frog, what is it?" Ed said, I sighed deeply, trying to come up with the words to explain the vacant feeling inside my head with the absence of that song.

"I can't say… It's too complicated." He frowned, "Let me show you, close your eyes." He looked hesitant but did as instructed, I placed my hands on wither side of his face, as the Doctor had done to me, and found Ed's mind with mine.

If my mind was small and cosy, with my memories shoved in a cabinet and everything else strewn around higgledy-piggledy Ed's mind was a vast library, everything stored neatly on a shelf, organised but still busy, thoughts flitted this way and that before slotting themselves into their proper place, his memories were stored almost as if on display, each one facing out and gleaming, with the exception of one door that was firmly closed.

"What the…? What're you doing?" He asked, pulling away minutely, I leaned forward until our foreheads touched,

"Stay with me, look into yourself. Hear it." Deeper we went into his mind, towards the very centre. In the very heart of Ed's mind was a light bright enough to defy my attempts to see what it was emanating from, and golden like the sun itself. Seeping out from the light was a song.

Where the Doctor's was many layered and indescribable, this was simpler but no less powerful. In the melody I could hear the person I knew, the insatiable hunt for the knowledge that eluded him, fiery temper, capable of such compassion and love.

"How…?" I found the thin beam of warm red light deep within me, accessing that song that was me, feeding it into Ed's head, he gasped and his hands flew up to mine. The two songs melded together, soaring in an intertwined melody, breaking away in their own tangents and coming back together.

"He showed me… Oh he showed me so much without going anywhere." I said quietly, my breathing ragged. Ed hesitated, as if he was about to say something then took his hands off mine, put one just under my chin and pulled our mouths together. I felt little waves of electricity running up and down my spine and I heard the music in my head swell as our mouths moved together.

My hands moved from the side of Ed's head to his neck, his shoulders, his chest, and back up to twine in his hair. It felt like his fingers were everywhere, little sparks tingling under my skin whenever his fingers brushed it.

"I think I love you." He breathed, I laughed quietly, running my fingers down his neck.

"Only think? That is so like you. I _know_ I love you."

"Constantly competitive."

"Forever and always." Lips met again and my mind spun off into a swirl of electricity and sensation. As the stars began to shine in the indigo sky I lay in the quiet in Ed's arms and he was in mine.

"Frog, wake up." A voice said quietly in my ear, I murmured, clinging to the vestiges of my dream, such a nice one. A hand found my shoulder and shook me out of it, however, and I was forced to open my eyes, I could see stars shining through the window, and no light on the horizon.

"What?" I said, pushing myself up on one arm to look around, a bright light shone in my face and I screwed up my eyes. The beam of light which I now realised was a torch, directed itself elsewhere and my eyes adjusted to the light level again. It was Oryx, standing next to the bed,

"What's going on? What time is it? What are you doing and why?" I asked, Oryx shrugged.

"I have no idea what's going on, Peanut told me to come and get you, it's about two in the morning, though if we're asking questions; what are _you_ doing?" She wiggled her eyebrows and I remembered I was actually in Ed's bed, and he was lying next to me with an arm around my waist and our legs under the covers were tangled together. I blushed and disentangled myself and slid out of the bed.

"Don't wake him." Oryx whispered when I turned around, "Peanut said just me and you and her, I still don't know why, she also said to grab a jacket." I grabbed my coat off of the floor and pulled it on over my clothes, I followed Oryx with her torch downstairs to here Peanut was waiting by an open Portal, she waved us over frantically.

"We don't have much time!" She said equally as frantically, we trooped quickly through the Portal, into a brightly lit room that was jam packed with people and noise.

"What is this place!" I yelled to Oryx as she led me by the hand after Peanut through the crowd.

"No idea! I just see people!" And it was a never ending sea of human beings, pressing in on all sides. Peanut lead us out of the crowd somehow and onto a raised stage-like platform,

"Sit down, sit down! Hurry!" Peanut said, leading us to a long silver desk bordered with long blue lights. I sat down on a shiny silver stool behind the desk and Oryx drew in a long breath.

"Oh, I see. It's a studio, for television show. What's going on Peanut?" Looking around after she said this I could see the evidence, blinding lights, a crowd milling around near their seats, and cameras everywhere,

"Sorry about that guys, but there was no time to explain, it's sort of like a quiz show, just with really… interesting questions." She smiled, "I needed a team of three quickly, we're starting in about three minutes."

"But how did you get into this in the first place?" Oryx asked, I was leaving he questions to her, contenting myself with waking up and watching the preparations of the studio team.

"Do you have a team name?" A man dressed entirely in black said, walking up to our table with a marker in hand.

"We are…uh…" Peanut said, I spoke over her,

"The Truth behind the Lies behind the Fish behind the Tree, or just TLFT." I said quickly he nodded and wrote the name and TLFT on a sign that he then stuck to the front of the shiny desk, through no particular means, I noticed, he just touched it to the surface and it stuck.

"So anyway, back to how you got here." Oryx prompted, Peanut nodded,

"I blame Jack, you see what happened was this man with his dog was walking by and-"

"Okay people places please! We're on in sixty seconds, audience members to their seats! Teams to your stations!" The shiny table opposite us was taken by a woman wearing an intensely sparkly dress, a man with a very pointy hat, and a dog.

A short portly man bounced on stage and stood behind the podium set in the middle of it, pulling out a clump of small cards that I assumed had questions on them.

The man we had seen before wearing black held up a hand and started counting down from seven, for as I then noted, he had seven fingers on each hand. As he reached one the crown started cheering and the portly man hitched smile onto his face and spoke straight to the fast zooming cameras.

"Welcome ladies and gentleman and variations thereupon, to yet another episode of 'Why can't I own a Canadian?' I'm Jeff and these are our teams tonight, The Truth behind the Lies behind the Fish behind the Tree, and Inertia!" The crowd cheered its approval, I clapped politely, still having no idea what was going on. "So, without any further ado let's begin our first section; Purple and Green! First question, what is the speed of a blueberry?" The lady in the sparkly costume slapped the big red button in front of her.

"Faster than a chestnut but slower than a strawberry!" She said, Jeff grinned,

"Correct! That's twelve points for Inertia! Next question, how does a King become a Lord?"

"By driving a really fast car!" The dog called, nosing its buzzer.

"Correct, and that's another four points for Inertia. Moving on to our ninth question, the ones in the middle are fairly dull, seventeen is to fish as bear is to…?"

"Are you getting any of this?" I asked Oryx as Jeff awarded Inertia another twenty-seven points for their answer of Orange.

"Not a word. How about you, Peanut?" Peanut shrugged,

"We'll never get anywhere if we don't try. Spear!" She called, whacking the button in front of her, Jeff grinned manically.

"Exactly! That's nine points for TLFT!"

"I knew the acronym would come in handy!" I said, at that moment an ad break was announced and we were allowed a five minute break.

"What on earth is with those questions? Peanut, where are we?"

"I really have no clue; they would only let me move to go get you two."

"This whole show just seems to be the most contrived nonsense." I said, watching Jeff balancing irons on his fingertips.

"It's television, what do you want?" Oryx replied, I shrugged and we returned to our seats as the recording was started up again, the crowd clapped and cheered as we launched into another round of questions.

**Next Time on CCC: There are more questions and perhaps more answers…**


	45. Meridian

"How much longer can this show go on for?" I leant across an almost comatose Oryx to ask Peanut, she looked at me blearily. So far we'd done eight to nine sessions of about an hour or so and the lack of sleep had been getting to all of us for a while, the whole thing seemed to be one continuous slot, and I was getting so hungry I could have sworn I was beginning to hallucinate, I kept smelling fudge.

"I have no idea, but I hope it isn't too much longer." Peanut replied, Oryx slumped onto the desk with a sigh and started snoring very quietly. I didn't have the heart to wake her, or the energy, and apparently Peanut didn't either. So we continued the game without her.

"And that concludes this week's episode of 'Why can't I own a Canadian' I'll see you all again another time!" Jeff said cheerfully at least two hours after Oryx had fallen asleep. Peanut helped me to drag her off the stool and into a Portal.

We left her in her castle on a lounge, still deep in sleep, giving Al a very compact version of events, about three words; we stumbled across the grass to my castle.

"Thank you again, so much." Peanut said, I nodded and practically fell through the castle doors, tripping on a chair leg and not bothering to get up off the floor. I closed my eyes and spread my mind out, finding Ed up on a balcony.

_Hi… _I said in a quiet mind voice,

_Where are you! _He yelled back, my hands twitched, wanting to over my ears in an instinctual protest against the noise.

_Downstairs, on the floor, don't have the energy to get up…too tired… _

_I'll be right there._ He Ported a few metres away a few seconds later,

"Oh Frog," He said out loud, lifting me onto my feet and Porting me to a bed of some kind, "what will I do with you?" I opened my mouth so say, something, but couldn't find any words, just tiredness, so I let it take over and fell asleep.

"No, all they said to me was 'TV, crazy, tired' I have no clue." Al's voice. I racked my brains for explanations as to why my eyes wouldn't open, what did I do last night? Oh right, crazy game show.

"They didn't say anything else?" Ed's voice, he would be worried, I should move. I didn't.

"Nope, and Oryx still hasn't woken up yet. I'll tell you if she does."

"Thanks Al, talk to you later."

"Goodbye brother." A small noise that sounded suspiciously like a vanishing person. Really, I should move, I ordered something to move, and my finger twitched, this seemed to send a wave of looseness around my body and I found I could open my eyes and sit up. Ed was sitting in a chair across the room with, as was normal, a book in his hand.

"Did I just hear Al?" I said stretching, Ed looked up and smiled.

"Yeah you might've, he was just here." I nodded; he put the book down and came to sit on my bed. "So, what happened?"

"Well Peanut came and she took us to this crazy studio place and they made us play this stupid game and it went on for hours and it was really kind of boring 'cause eventually they ran out of questions so they just repeated them and so you'd think we'd remember the answers but we didn't."

Ed was laughing by the end of my rant, he doubled over, loose hair falling over his face. I smiled but I was too hungry to laugh. When Ed stopped laughing I told him so and he announced that he'd made a sandwich a while ago, and then eaten it.

"And what was the point in telling me that?"

"Oh there wasn't, I just felt like sharing it." He replied, smirking, I leant over and pressed my mouth to his, enjoying his little gasp of surprise.

"That was just too cute to resist. Need food now." I said climbing over a still quiet Ed and leaving the room, going downstairs to the kitchen. In it I found a few Minions cheerfully singing a song about pots and pans as they did some washing, I joined in as I made myself a sandwich, it was somewhere around lunchtime after all. I was sitting on the kitchen bench, listening to an improvised harmony sung in six parts by the Minions when Ed appeared next to me.

"Well hi." I said, he smirked again,

"I told Al what happened, Oryx's still sleeping though." He informed me, I licked some salt off of a finger and nodded.

"I don't know how much earlier she was woken up; it sounded like she'd had a little time." I said, Ed nodded with the air of someone approaching a large cliff that they were about to dive off.

"Did you mean what you said before?" He said in a rush, I set my plate down next to me and it was soon integrated into the Minions all singing all cleaning conveyor belt.

"What, that I love you? Of course I meant it. You know I can't lie to save my life, though I've never had to." He smiled a little, "Why? Did you not mean it when you said you _thought_ you loved me?"

"Okay, bad choice of words! Let it go!" I sniffed, mock hurt.

"I don't know if I can."

"Frog, you have got to be the most amazing, uncanny, and downright annoying person I have ever met! I hate it when you aren't around or I don't know where you are and I really do love you with every fibre of my being." He stated, I grinned.

"And if that wasn't totally and completely out of character I don't know what is. Don't worry, I won't make you say it ever again. Probably." I laughed, Ed threw a tea towel at me, I threw a sponge back, this resulted in a small kitchen war that ended up with us both getting very wet.

"Okay so the bucket was a little unnecessary, I'll admit that." I said as I took a towel to my hair, Ed snorted.

"Oh really?" He said sarcastically, poking his head round the side of the bathroom door, "Anything else blindingly obvious you'd like to add onto that?"

"Shut up midget."

"I'm taller than you!" He yelled ducking back into the bathroom, and it was true, we'd figured it out between the bucket of water and my elephant brass band.

"And you're still short!" I sang in reply, digging through my clothes for a shirt.

"Hey Ed, Frog, where are you!" Oryx's voice floated up through the halls,

"Just a minute!" I yelled in reply, pulling on a purple shirt with a dinosaur and running down to where she was sitting browsing through a magazine.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything." She said, raising a suggestive eyebrow, I stuck my tongue out.

"Nah, I see you're up and about, feeling better then I assume." She nodded, turning a page.

"Yeah just bored now, I suggest a picnic. Let's get out and take a closer look at all that new grass, push Ed into the lake that kind of thing."

"I did that already just before," I replied, "but I like the picnic idea we haven't done that in ages. I'll gather a rug and etc. Meet you by the lake in half an hour or so?"

"Sure! See ya then my amphibious friend." She said and vanished taking the magazine with her, no big deal; I didn't recognise it anyway.

"Yo Ed we're going for a picnic help me find a basket or something!" I yelled back into the castle walking over to a random cupboard and pulling it open. I decided not to open any more cupboards after that, as I ended up on the floor covered by a large amount of fairly random debris including a deflated beach ball that I definitely didn't remember ever owning or hearing of until that moment.

Ed helped me out of the pile and aided me in shoving the cupboard's contents back inside it, closing the door only after leaning on it heavily. Though as it turned out I didn't even need to open any more of them, as that cupboard contained a picnic rug and a nice basket.

"Well that's lucky, should we invite Peanut?" I remarked to Ed as we walked to the kitchen, though I wasn't sure if Peanut wouldn't still be sleeping off the effects of our game show.

"Maybe, won't she be a little busy with all those characters to get back? Or still sleeping." Ed said, we didn't have any more time to discuss the matter as at that moment we entered the kitchen and Claire, one of the best chefs that I had ever met, was shoving a multitude of sandwiches, quiches, and desserts into my hands and the basket. She seemed to have heard about the picnic, and admonished us for not coming to tell her sooner.

"Sorry Claire." Ed and I chorused dutifully, she smiled and continued heaping food into the basket, which must have been magical because the pile of food that ended up being inside it was at least three times as big as the basket itself, and it wasn't even very heavy, as Ed remarked as we walked across the new sweeping lawns towards the lake passing grazing unicorns and frolicking animals.

"Hey guys!" Oryx called from the far East shore, I waved from behind the picnic rug and speed up. We spread the mat out on the grass and set the basket in the middle and started doling out food onto plates and passing them around the circle.

"So, I hear you're dating my brother." Al said conversationally, Ed choked on his sandwich and I slapped him on the back.

"So, I hear you're dating my best friend." I replied in the same conversational tone Al arched an eyebrow.

"Touché." He said Oryx laughed, Ed blushed.

"Quiche?" I offered Al the plate and he took a slice of the aromatic dish, Oryx asked for a slice after him and I handed her the dish under the resulting conversation Ed slid over and I leant against him, enjoying the smell of the grass and the feeling of the sun on my skin.

"Falling asleep there, Frog?" Oryx laughed, I jolted up,

"I'm awake! What's going on?" Oryx leant on Al to laugh; I felt Ed's laughter reverberating through my back.

"Can I have a cookie please?" I asked Al and he passed me the plate of chocolate chip goodness. I extracted two from the pile and handed the plate back over my shoulder to Ed. A deer took to grazing a few metres down the bank, head bent to the grass, I watched a few swans sail across the surface of the lake and listened to the call of birdsong.

"It's so peaceful. You'd never think that just a day or so ago we were under siege from evil aliens." Oryx said.

"I know, but if it were like this all the time we'd get bored eventually." I said, Oryx shrugged,

"Yeah I suppose. I mean I like the quiet," She replied, "but maybe after a while… I don't know it's never been quiet for long enough to tell." I grinned,

"You can say that again, the quiet's nice but I like a bit of something happening." I said idly tearing a blade of grass down the middle.

"I know what you mean, sitting around doing nothing always makes me fidget." Ed said, Oryx giggled, I threw a muffin at her and she caught it in her mouth. After the resounding applause that resulted from that display the conversation continued, though down a different path.

"Do you think the Doctor delivered the letters to our families?" Oryx wondered I froze in mid sip.

"I think he would have by now, he knew it was important to us."

"Yeah, but would it being important to us make any difference to him?" Oryx asked with an air of scepticism as to his trustworthiness.

"Yes it would!" I said heatedly, "You didn't know him like I did!"

"Oh yeah you knew him for all of what three, maybe four days? One of which he was barely around for anyway." She shot back I frowned.

"You still don't know him like I do." I stated quietly, "And anyway he has Rose, she'd definitely make him do it within a reasonable time." Oryx conceded that point and the conversation moved on. It was only when Al noticed how low on the horizon the sun was that we decided to adjourn to our respective homes.

When we got up to the castle and arrived in the kitchens to return the plates and cutlery, Ed and I passed on Oryx and Al's thanks along with our own to Claire, who told us that it was all in a days work and shouldn't we be getting to bed soon? And so we did, ending up curled around one another in Ed's bed by the window.

**Next Time on CCC: Favours, and phone numbers, are called in.**


	46. Logical

"I think I'm going to die of boredom." I declared ducking under the book Ed was reading by the fire in the reading room and sitting myself down in his lap, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"And why is that?" He asked wearily though I might have been constricting his breathing, either way I eased off on the leaning.

"Remember that peace and quiet we were talking about a week ago at the picnic? Yeah, it's here and it's as boring as hell. Though I don't know how boring Hell would be I mean you're supposed to be tortured or whatever though I suppose just leaving someone alone to be bored could be called torture and-"

"Be quiet." He interrupted, putting his mouth on mine to cement the thought. The book was placed on a side table as my hands raked through Ed's hair, twinging strands around my fingers. His tongue ran across the roof of my mouth and I slid my hands under his shirt. We were both suitably distracted when the phone in my pocket started ringing loudly.

I pulled it out and flicked it open, 'unknown number' was flashing on the screen; I jotted down the number displayed on the little screen and pressed the green button warily and held the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Robyn? Hey, Captain Jack Harkness here." I smiled as the familiar American accent washed over me and mouthed who it was to Ed who nodded.

"Hey Captain loving the code name, must use that more often, please tell you still have that awesome coat?"

"Yeah of course I do I'm wearing it right now actually. No it's not one of those conversations Gwen just be quiet." I heard a door shutting, closing off a burst of laughter, "Look The Doctor gave me your number before he dropped me back here, I'm having a spot of trouble with some… things, and I was calling in some favours and I thought; girl who fell off a roof. What do you say?"

"Hmmmm, I'm thinking about it, still thinking." I said, running a hand through Ed's hair as I 'thought'. Jack chuckled.

"Come on, you know you don't really have to think about it. You can meet my team and everything."

"You never even considered I would say no, and that's infuriating. You're right though, I've been drowning in boredom as of late, save a few things, but I'm still clearing it with the others, and bringing them along."

"Sure they're totally welcome, I'll inform Ianto and he'll make the appropriate arrangements."

"Thank you very much, so where are we coming exactly?"

"Roald Dahl Plass, there's a sculpture, really tall and shiny, that's Torchwood Tower, I'll post someone to keep a look out for you tomorrow, or if you prefer find the tourist office by Cardiff Bay, Ianto'll be in there." I heard an alarm start up in the background, Jack cursed. "That's the Rift Alarm again! Sorry, gotta go!" He said and there was a dial tone as he hung up, I programmed the phone to recognize his number and flipped it closed, setting it on the little table on Ed's book.

"You know for a number that only six or seven people in all of time and space can call it gets a fair amount of traffic." I remarked, twinging my arms around Ed's neck and moving my legs to either side of his torso.

"Far too much if you ask me." He replied with a smirk, putting his hands on my waist and drew us closer, my hands moved to his hair again as he pressed out mouths against each other.

"I should call Oryx and Al, tell them what's going on," I said as he moved his mouth to my neck.

"No, no you really shouldn't, you should wait and call them later." Butterfly kisses trailing down my collarbone quelled the necessary argument. His mouth returned; teeth nipped my collarbone.

"Yeah later." I managed, my whole world centred on the mouth on my skin and the hand pressed into my back, feeling the quivering all over my body.

Exactly some amount of time later I stretched my arm behind my head from my position lying across a once again reading Ed and picked up my phone to call Oryx and Al. They had decided on a fishing trip that afternoon and I felt that aliens were a fair enough reason to risk disturbing the fish.

"What is it?" Oryx asked when she answered the phone.

"Jack called, Harkness I mean, he needs some help with…something and I agreed to help."

"We're coming," She declared quickly,

"I thought you'd say that, he's making 'the appropriate arrangements.'"

"Good, when are we leaving?"

"I don't really know, some time tomorrow, as early as we can within reason I suppose. I know where we're going though, more or less."

"That man is so vague, we'll get up and come over 'round eight thirty yeah?"

"Cool, I'll try Jack and tell him nine or so, telling the time's been hard since my watch broke." I said, Oryx agreed and we hung up our respective devices. I thumbed through the short list of numbers and selected Jack's,

"Frog? You aren't about to cancel on me are you?" I laughed and felt him smiling,

"Not at all, Captain, just ringing to tell you I talked to Oryx and Al, we should be turning up sometime around nine."

"I'll post someone up top for you, normally I wouldn't ask but you're more used to aliens than my other available contacts."

"Nice to know where I feature on your list Captain; how many other favours are you calling in?"

"Alright so maybe I exaggerated before, but truthfully I need the help."

"So you say, we both know you just want to see me again." This time he laughed first, an infectious chuckle that I had to join. "I'll see you tomorrow Captain. It feels late is it late?"

"About midnight, so not too bad." He replied I mock gasped.

"Now you get yourself to bed mister!" More chuckling,

"With pleasure, tomorrow then. Ianto-!" He called the last away from the phone, adding something else indistinct before the dial tone cut in.

"I think I convinced myself more than him, I'm falling asleep where I sit." I said to Ed, sliding under his book and rolling a little ways on the floor. "The room is spinning, I really must be tired."

"Oh go away." He said, I laughed my way out of the room and down the hall to bed.

"Frog! Get up!" Someone grabbed my ankle and I was suddenly on the floor in a mess of blankets and limbs.

"What's going on and what did I do to deserve it?" I said, pulling a pillow over my head against the sunlight streaming through the now open curtains. Ed groaned something from next to me, I heard a voice I recognised dimly as Oryx's sighing.

"Come on, we have to go help Jack with his alien thing or whatever." She reminded me, I pushed the pillow off my head and opened my eyes, sitting up. Oryx helped me to my feet.

"You get dressed and pack, get Ed up too would you? We'll go downstairs and make breakfast." I nodded, yawning widely as Oryx and Al Ported out of the room.

"Wake up Ed." I said, nudging him with my foot, he muttered something but didn't show any signs of waking up. "Come on, time to go and see some aliens." Still nothing I leant down and poked him in the side of the head, no reaction. "Oh whatever I'm going to have a shower." I left Ed to sleep and collected my towel and clothes and made my way to the nearest bathroom.

Steam billowed around the room, collecting on the mirror and condensing to form droplets that let tracks in the foggy surface.

I took to my head with a comb and sorted through the small pile of clothes on the floor. Leaving the bathroom I stuck my head back into the bedroom, Ed was still curled on the floor in a small ball of blankets and pillows. I snuck into the room and crept closer until I was directly behind the sleeping Alchemist,

"Wake up!" I yelled in my brightest voice, flopping on top of him, he flailed and sat up after I rolled off him.

"What the hell was that for!" He yelled I got up and pulled a large backpack out of a cupboard, tossing it onto the bed and starting to shove things into it.

"It's time to wake up and go and see some aliens!" I told Ed still in the brightest voice I could muster he glowered at me but stood up and wandered out of the room. I packed frenziedly while he was gone, pulling things out of cupboards and drawers and shoving them in bags, realising as I did just how very vague Jack was, he never told me how long we were staying for.

I packed a good portion of my clothes, a range for most conceivable weather types and occasions and taking the opportunity to pack Ed's things as well. By the time about half an hour had passed and Ed came walking back into the room fully dressed and looking awake, I had two large hiking backpacks packed and I pushed Ed's to him.

"Come one then, breakfast and then off we go!" I Ported downstairs to the kitchen Oryx and Al were sitting at the bench munching on bowls of cereal, Claire handed me some toast and I smiled at her, dumping my pack by Oryx and Al's bags near the door.

"Took you long enough!" Oryx declared, I stuck my tongue out at her as I spread jam thickly on my toast and set it on the bench next to her. We ate breakfast quickly and asked the Minions if they wouldn't mind doing the washing up, I had the feeling that we were getting to be late. They didn't object and I pulled my pack onto back and strode towards the front doors.

"Alright then! Roald Dahl Plass Wales and a shiny, shiny sculpture here we come!" I yelled leading the other three out through the doors.

We came out under a looming building that looked as if it was bout to topple over onto the observer in the distance I could hear the sound of water lapping.

The wind picked up and I was glad for my blue jacket that I'd put on before leaving. I turned on the spot, scanning the surroundings and sure enough, directly in front of me was a very tall and definitely shiny towering structure. I looked around again, but there was no one in sight, didn't Jack say he'd post someone to look for us?

"Anyone want to have a guess at the time?" I asked my companions no one ventured a guess, I walked towards the silver tower, reaching out a hand to touch the smooth surface of one of the many mirrored panels. "What do you think-Aah!" I yelled in surprise as I caught my foot on nothing in particular, pitching forward into Al and Oryx, and somehow dragging Ed with me.

I braced myself for the impact of concrete but the fall just kept going. I was pulling my eyes open when the impact did come, into something strangely soft and then into the concrete I was expecting the first time. I rolled a little bit and felt my head hanging over a ledge of some kind. It also felt as if the ground was moving, it was definitely moving. I coughed, trying to suck some air back into my lungs, the landing had completely winded me, and cracked my eyes open.

Dim light reflected off a very high ceiling, and something large and grey that looked suspiciously like a pterodactyl flew across my field of vision. I heard a groan beside me and sat up, Oryx was lying across my legs, Al was lying on hi side across hers, and all three of us were lying on most of Ed. I yanked my legs out from under Oryx and tried to marshal my thoughts. We were lying on a square slab of concrete that was slowly descending through a cavernous room.

"Jack!" I heard voices down below and pulled my self to my feet, hearing the others doing the same. "Are you alright?" I looked down over the edge of the slab and saw Jack lying on the ground about twenty metres away, surrounded by three people.

"Ooh, that looks nasty." Ed commented from over my shoulder, and it did, Jack's neck was bent at a very uncomfortable looking angle, and I was very glad not to be able to see any more detail than that as he drew in a gasping breath and sat up, hanging onto the nearest person until he could focus again.

"That didn't look fun!" I called as the slab came to rest on the ground, he stood up and walked briskly over to encase me in his usual bone-bending hug, welcoming us all to Torchwood. He set me back on my feet and smiled at me, I whacked him over the head with a fish.

"Ow! What was that for?" He said looking more confused than hurt, I handed the fish to the Japanese woman standing next to him.

"Are you insane!" I yelled, "There's a hole in your ceiling! A really big hole that anyone could fall down! We would be a splatter of red jam goo on the floor right now if it wasn't for the fact that you happened to be standing on your little moving platform thing! And then someone would have to clean it up!" I finished poking Jack in the chest, sighing huffily and crossing my arms.

"I told you so Jack." The black haired woman who had rushed to Jack's aid said.

"It's covered by a perception filter that makes it sort of invisible to passers by, and there's another slab of concrete to cover it up you just fell in the split second before it moved." The Japanese woman explained, she seemed to have got rid of my fish good thing too it was heavy and I didn't want to carry it around anymore.

"Okay, would someone please tell me what the hell is going on? What's with the kids, Jack? This isn't a preschool you know." A man with brown hair and a white lab coat said acidly.

"Come to the boardroom, everyone, I'll explain there." Jack said walking away the team, Ed, Al, Oryx and I followed him. We sat at a long wooden table Torchwood team on one side us on the other side and Jack standing at the head. He reached up and tapped the comm. unit attached to the side of his head.

"Ianto, they're here, we're in the boardroom." There was about ten seconds of silence before alarms drifted across the Hub, causing me to jump though the Torchwood team seemed unfazed.

A few seconds later someone else walked into the room; a man with dark brown hair that was lightly spiked and pale blue eyes wearing a dark pinstriped suit with a red shirt and a black and red striped tie. He sat down quietly in one of the black wheeled chairs.

"Okay the Tea boy's here now, will you tell us what's going on Jack?" Lab coat guy said testily Jack nodded.

"As you may have noticed the Rift Alert has been going of quite frequently lately."

"I'll say, running us fucking ragged." Lab coat guy interrupted, then quieted at Jack's look.

"As I was saying, it's been busy. So I called in a favour, he nodded at me and sat down, looking expectant. I stood up,

"I guess that's my queue. My name's Frog and these are my good friends Oryx, Alphonse Elric, and his older brother Edward Elric. Jack called and asked if we could lend a hand," I waved my own around a little, "and as I have two, and no objections to Jack; here we are."

"It's nice to meet you honey, I'm Gwen Cooper public and police liaison among other things." The black-haired woman said hugging us each warmly.

"Good start Gwen this is Toshiko Sato, our resident computer, technology and well everything genius." Jack said the Japanese woman gave us a small smile and shook hands.

"The spiky one is Owen Harper," Jack continued about Lab Coat guy.

"That's Doctor Owen Harper I do wish you would remember Jack." He said, extending his hand to us in a business-like manner.

"But then you wouldn't have to correct me and then what would you have to look forward to? Jack replied, smiling cheekily, "The sarcastic Welshman at the end of the table is Ianto Jones; he gets us where we're going when we need to get there."

"A pleasure." Ianto ones said, nodding and shaking hands coolly.

"Plus he really does look good in a suit." Jack added, Ianto rolled his eyes but the smile on his face told me he didn't really mind.

"Red is your colour." I informed him as we all sat back down.

"Uh thanks I think." He replied Jack leered in his own particular way just as a different alarm started blaring.

"Hey speaking of Rift Alerts! Tosh, what's going on!" The Japanese woman had quickly gravitated out of the room to a desk and a computer monitor.

"Weevil sighting wait, two. Three. Four."

"Well fantastic is that all?" Owen said sarcastically, "Where are they Tosh?"

"One by Chain Lane, one over by the Library, one's actually on the other side of the Bay, and the last one's right out near the edge of town."

"Okay then, let's split this up. Tosh stay here and co ordinate us, You guys should stay and watch this one." I snorted.

"We can take care of ourselves thank you very much, we came to lend a hand, and watching isn't really helping much except your ego, not that it needs it." Jack grinned.

"Well alright then. Gwen take your car and… what was your name again?" He asked Al, who smiled and reminded him, "Right Al, to the Library. Hop to it. Owen, go to the other side of the Bay with Oryx, Ianto take Ed to Chain Lane, show him the movie theatre on the way back. I'm taking the SUV!" He declared running off I ran after him. "Nice car," I said approvingly as we got in the giant black SUV, it was just as awesome on the inside, though a little cramped, with tech everywhere. "I suppose this means we're going out to the other side of the city, how long will that take?"

"Not long, here, put this on." He handed me a comm. unit similar to his own and I slipped it into my ear. Jack floored the SUV and we screeched out of the garage and hurtled onto the main road.

"You drive like a maniac!"

Ed slid into the front passenger seat of Ianto's car and put his seatbelt on, checking it twice after a shiny black car roared past them.

"That's just Jack, he likes to drive fast." Ianto said, handing him a small earpiece, "Put this on and don't lose it." He pulled out of the parking lot and joined the minimal flow of early-afternoon traffic smoothly.

"What's a Weevil anyway?" Oryx asked 'Doctor' Owen Harper as they got into his car he tossed her a comm. unit and smirked.

"Nasty aliens, sometimes develop a taste for human flesh, sometimes they just like tearing something to shreds." Oryx nodded and slipped the comm. unit over her ear.

Al and Gwen laughed their way through the streets towards their Weevil sighting, regaling each other with jokes and anecdotes.

The SUV skidded to a stop outside the large warehouse Tosh had directed us to. Jack jumped out of the car and raced off towards the building pulling his gun from his holster as he went.

I jumped down and jogged around the side of the car, joining him at the door; he examined the padlock briefly and then pointed his gun at it and fired quickly, blowing it off the door.

"Well that works." I said Jack threw the door open,

"Come on it'll have heard that." He said waving me in after him.

"Ianto, Ed it's on the move." Tosh's voice said in Ed's ear as he pounded down yet another alleyway after the elusive shape.

"Yeah I noticed that thanks though." He said, bouncing off of a chain link fence and down the side street to his left, gaining little ground on the alien he was chasing. Ianto appeared at the opening of the alley kicking the Weevil's legs out from underneath it and pinning it to the ground, spraying something in its face and slipping a black bag over its head.

Al and Gwen laughed their way right back to the Torchwood Hub; their Alert had been a false alarm, a kid with nightmares. More Jokes and anecdotes ensued.

Oryx pulled the string back on her enchanted bow and aimed an arrow at the Weevil. She released the string and the arrow sped through the air as it hit the Weevil the whole arrow shattered from tip to tail into a shimmering blue dust.

The Weevil sneezed, swayed and fell to the ground unconscious. Owen put his Weevil repellent back into his pocket and pulled a black bag over the Weevil's head, securing it tightly.

"What was that stuff?" He asked Oryx as they dragged the Weevil to the trunk of his car,

"Sleeping powder. It's quite useful when hunting something you don't want to kill." She said twirling an arrow in her fingers and handing it over for him to inspect.

Jack drove no slower on the return journey the man was constantly in a hurry, I held tightly to my seat.

"We don't all just snap back to life you know!" Jack laughed and drove even faster swerving around a bus. He sent me ahead when we arrived back at the Hub, dragging the body of the Weevil out of the trunk and away into the shadows.

I walked through the cog door and was greeted by Al and Gwen sitting on a couch laughing hysterically at something. Tosh was sitting at her desk, smiling as she typed a code of some kind quickly.

"Frog! You remember that time with the rabbit right? When Oryx was holding it, and it jumped onto that bicycle?" He collapsed in laughter again, as did Gwen, I grinned and sat down on another small lounge near them.

"Yeah, I remember that. Did you tell the one with the deer last week? The one that-"

"Ate the furniture? Yes, he did. Twice." A sarcastic Welsh voice said from behind me, I turned and saw Ianto Jones standing by the desk, holding a silver tray; he handed a glass of water to Al, a cup of coffee to Gwen, and to my surprise, extended a mug of tea to me.

"We heard you and Jack coming back." He explained, I smiled.

"Thanks, Ianto." Sipping the tea, "Oh my dear Jed this is amazing! What in the Medusa Cascade is in this?" Ianto just smirked and set another mug down on the table and walked away.

"On the table Jack." He said without looking back as Jack walked in through the cog door.

"Thanks Ianto," Jack said, sitting down in an armchair and sipping his coffee with a contented look on his face. Al and Gwen burst into hysterical laughter again as Oryx and Owen walked in Ianto swung by the table with another coffee which Owen scooped up without a word.

Oryx sat down at the other end of my lounge and Ed wandered over from somewhere and sat between her and me. A momentary silence followed, I pulled out a bowl of cornflakes and offered them to Jack.

"Cornflakes, Captain?" He stared at me; I stuck the bowl out and slid it onto Ianto's tray as he paused to collect cups. "How 'bout you then, Yan? No that feels wrong, Mr Jones? No that's worse…" I twiddled my thumbs Ianto shot me a look and walked away. Jack chuckled and as was inevitable, Gwen and Al laughed hysterically. "So anyway are we going to get a tour or what?" Jack shot to his feet and bowed mockingly.

"Why of course shall we?" He said gesturing for us all to follow him, which we did, Al was still chortling. He continued to do so as we poked our heads over the railing into the medical bay, stuck our noses in Jack's office, and I snuck a peek through the manhole and caught up while he wasn't looking.

We walked quickly through the area with all the desks and computers, were shown the tourist office entrance, introduced more intimately to the Rift manipulator and Myfanwy the _Pteranodon_, we also were introduced to the residents of the cell block, and the archives.

"I never come down there much if I can help it. Thank Ianto for the empty floor space and lack of rotting cardboard everywhere." Jack commented as we ascended back to the main level.

"It's my job sir." Ianto said shortly as he breezed past again carrying an oddly lumpy black bag. Owen snorted and I sauntered over.

"Jellied eel?" I said, offering him a jar a bit too forcefully, not quite accidentally splashing him a little with the stuff inside. He wiped it off his face and glared at me,

"No thank you," He replied, I shrugged and handed the jar to Tosh instead, who was watching the exchange, Jack chuckled again, he seemed to find a lot of what I did amusing. Ed sighed,

"Stop tormenting people," He said wearily I sighed huffily and flounced away, and Tosh called out.

"There's been Rift activity, again." She yelled, we all rushed to stand around her, even though no more than half of us understood anything that was on the screen, I stared seriously at the rolling data like the Torchwood team and broke off giggling. "It was a small spike, but it looks as if come through, other side of the bay again, looks pretty small. Scanners are picking up three heat signals."

"I'll go grab it, bring it back, is it moving?" Jack said as Ianto helped him put his coat on, Tosh typed something and shook her head.

"No, I can't see anything, but they're in a bit of a CCTV blind spot."

"There are blind spots?" Owen asked interestedly Jack strode away out the cog door. We watched and waited until he appeared on the screen a few minutes later, winking at the camera. He walked out of the camera's range, into the shadows and came out a few minutes later with a black bag.

"Jack? Do you have it? What is it?" Tosh asked, Jack's voice came back over the comm. unit I still had in my ear.

"You'll love this." Was all he said, when he walked into the Hub what felt like ages later I mobbed him with questions. He placed his bundle down on the desk and revealed them with the air of a magician unveiling some grand trick. Under the black cloth were three knobbly grey objects, they were sightly translucent, and pulsing with a strange green glow. Owen snapped on some gloves and moved the…things, down to the medical bay, putting them in the middle of the autopsy table.

We drifted away as he did his various tests, more coffee, water, and tea being bestowed upon us at regular intervals by Ianto. I looked around for some indication of the time, I hadn't been able to tell it very precisely since I blew up my watch to get out of the cupboard the ninjas put me into, we'd tried relying on Ed's watch, but keeping track of time is hard for a dimension crossing forgetful person and eventually we gave up. But there was no indication in the Hub at all, no clocks, no windows to let in sunlight or moonlight.

"Jack, they're eggs." Came Owen's yell from the medic bay.

"What?" Gwen said, scampering down to peer at them herself, "Funny sort of eggs, all squishy-looking."

"So, if they're eggs; they'll hatch? In to, like, some giant space-chicken?" I said,

"If you want to put it that way, yes." Replied Owen, I smiled and went to poke the egg, he slapped my hand away. I left him to poke and prod and went, yawning, to curl up at the end of one of the lounges, my head on a sleeping Ed's shoulder.

After a further hour of Owen's intense prodding of the grey sludgy things Ianto took pity on the four of us, Oryx and Al had also collapsed in a nearby chair, and volunteered to take us to a hotel he'd booked.

"I like that plan, that is a good plan, come on Shorty." I jabbed Ed in the side of the head and followed Ianto tiredly out of the Hub. "We'll be back tomorrow, bright and early, just you watch." I said over my shoulder to Jack, he nodded. The hotel was nice, it looked cosy and the sheets were soft. This was everything I managed to register before sleep claimed all of my attention.

**Next Time on CCC: a space chicken? Hilarity ensues. **

**Probably not, but I've always wanted to put that at the end of one of these.**


	47. Epiglottis

**Double post for no reason at all! **

The sun peeked in through honey coloured curtains, colouring the light that filled the room a gentle golden yellow. As usual I had no idea what time it was so I waited until the sun had at least cleared the horizon before wandering into the others' rooms and finding all three of them in Oryx's room with trays of breakfast.

"Morning!" Al chorused cheerfully, "Breakfast? We were going to come get you in a minute so it didn't get cold." I sat down at the table and took the offered plate, the food was exquisite, I made a mental note to thank Ianto for his choice in hotels. We stacked out plates on the little trolley they'd come in on and stood around for a minute, looking at each other.

"I suppose we should go back to the Hub, see if those chicken eggs have hatched." Oryx said,

"They aren't really space-chicken eggs, right?" I asked,

"I doubt it," a voice from the door said, I jumped and turned around, Jack was leaning against the frame of the door, I rolled my eyes,

"But that would be awesome! Is there even such a thing as a space-chicken?" Oryx asked, he smiled wider.

"Well actually it's less of a chicken and more of a large parrot, and boy does it have a temper. I remember this one time on this little moon-"

"At band camp!" I interrupted loudly, "Seriously, as much as we all love to hear your long winded stories about you doing things, shouldn't you be protecting Cardiff from the big scary time space rift?"

"Just came to get you four." He replied, I shrugged.

"Did you drive? Would we even all fit?"

"I walked but yes you would." Walked, eh?

"Well then; race you back!" I yelled running out the door past him and through the lobby of the hotel out onto the street, laughing as I went. Ed, Al, and Oryx met me on the pavement outside and we ran along laughing breathlessly. Jack passed us easily and I held out my arms, "Conga line!"

We lined up and Ported just outside the tourist office by the Bay. We bounced inside the office and Ianto looked up from his book, raising an eyebrow at our breathlessness. He let us in through the secret door and we tumbled down through the cog door into the main Hub.

Jack wasn't back yet, but Tosh and Gwen were both at their desks. We got cheerful greetings from both of them and we went to look at the eggs. They were still the same as they had been the previous night, according to Owen; three signs of life, on inside each of the pulsing grey things, though the nature of life was still unidentifiable.

"Wasn't Jack supposed to come and get you? Where'd he go?" Gwen asked, I was saved answering when Jack strode into the Hub.

"Any changes Owen?" Owen replied in the negative, and that he was still working on a species name and the best way to deal with them. Ianto came down every now and then to re fill coffee mugs, and there were three calls out to relocate Weevils back to the sewers on average every hour.

Nothing much more exiting than the forty-two Weevil retrieval missions until at around ten or so Owen yelled for us to come to the medical bay; because two of the eggs were hatching.

"The other one is moving, but from what I can tell it's not going to make it, vital signs are too weak. See that stretch in the shell there? That was what tipped me off." Sure enough the outside of one the eggs was stretching to accommodate a long limb-like protrusion, it stretched a little more and then split open, not cracking, more of a tearing.

The limb was horrifyingly human, like an arm with a seven fingered hand and a thumb, elongated and a dusty grey under the slight film of goo that it was encased in. More limbs poked out of the shell, tearing away with dexterity at the imprisoning cage.

"What _is_ that?" Al asked, no one answered, but Owen drew a little closer, scanning the almost free form. Finally in an explosive burst the two things broke free of their eggs.

The whole, like the first limb that we saw, were oddly like human babies, omitting the grey skin accompanied by red eyes with slitted pupils that looked at us with far too much comprehension and the extra pair of arms with seven fingers.

The two alien-babies reached for each other and clasped shoulders with four grey hands each, pressing foreheads together, the moment was brief but I felt like I had witnessed something important then they broke apart and turned to the unhatched egg.

Snarling and baring pointy gleaming white fangs they fell on it and began tearing it apart, ripping into the flesh of their unborn sibling. I felt my stomach lurch and turned away from the sight, stumbling away as fast as my unsteady legs would carry me.

I ran for the door and ran through the tourist office into the cold Cardiff night. I leant on the railing by the bay and tried not to throw up; in the end I failed and opted for trying not to splatter vomit on my shoes, which I was better at doing. Ed walked a little unsteadily out of the tourist office and leant on the railing beside me rubbing my back as I dry heaved over the water stomach still pitching.

"That was…" I broke off as another wave of nausea broke over me this too passed quickened by the sound of screams form the Hub. Ed and I ran back through the tourist office and into the main Hub. One of the creatures was fastened to Jack's neck, tearing at his jugular.

His arm moved minutely, and he was still and the grey creature scuttled off him and jumped at Al, Oryx pulled him back and pulled out her bow. She drew one of her sleeping power arrows to the string and shot it at the little grey thing, it dodged the arrow but was doused in the exploding powder it sneezed and went limp.

"Where's the other one?" I asked, casting a look around, Ianto was kneeling next to Jack, resting his head gently on his lap.

"I don't know, that one jumped for Jack and the other one scuttled off somewhere." Gwen replied, I pulled out my Elemental Staff and a torch and started shining it underneath seats and into corners, knowing where the creepy killer alien is was usually at the top of my list of things to do when faced with one.

Jack burst back to life a good thirty seconds later, the grey thing started stirring a minute or two after that, and we found the second creature; by way of it jumping at Ed's face, attempting to claw his eyes out. He smacked it to the ground, I pinned it there with ice and Oryx shot a sleeper arrow at it. The infant dodged the arrow but was engulfed in the cloud it slumped to the ground and, over on the autopsy table, the other one stopped struggling and did the same.

"That's strange, it's like they're connected or something." Gwen said, Jack walked over and smashed the ice, picking up the thing and laying it next to its sibling on the table.

"They are. I thought this looked familiar; a little too familiar, these things didn't come through the Rift. They were made by humans." Shocked silence followed his last statement.

"What do you mean made by humans? Who would do something like that Jack?" Gwen said Jack sighed and looked sadly at the two things on the table.

"It was a genetic engineering experiment when I knew of it, it wasn't near this advanced back then though, they've come quite a way in ten years."

"Genetic experiments for what?" Owen asked, pulling back one of the things' eyelids and shining a light into it, the slitted pupil contracted.

"The usual crap, advances in the human species, for the good of mankind at the expense of others." Jack replied, I swayed a little, feeling queasy.

"What do we do with them? We can't just lock them in a cell." Owen addressed Jack again, checking the eye of the other twin.

"The research facility was abandoned, probably shut down by UNIT or some other group, that doesn't really matter. These things are wrong, and we have to deal with them. Owen, what have you got for me on them?" Owen stopped examining the infant and looked Jack squarely in the face.

"Their digestive systems were designed, God knows why, for meat and only meat, preferably raw. They're fast and strong and this connection that they share makes them formidable. Their one weakness would have to be their minds, the emotional part of the brain seems to have been way over-stimulated before birth, they're almost pure instinct Jack, they don't reason like we do." He looked down at the grey-skinned thing lying before him.

"Why is their skin like that? All grey?" Al asked, Owen turned to face him slightly.

"They've never been exposed to light of any kind until now, they were designed for darkness, this seems to be a quirk of that." He explained, Jack looked broodingly at the creatures.

"It's late everyone, go home all of you. I'll lock them in the vaults we'll deal with them tomorrow." He said abruptly, we looked at him in shock for a minute and then without a word everyone moved away. Ianto was the last to leave, still clattering around in the kitchen as Ed, Al, Oryx and I Ported back to our hotel.

"What do you think he's going to do with them?" I asked Ed after Oryx and Al had departed for their rooms, he looked at me sadly without saying anything, kissed me on the forehead and left for his room.

I made my way to my own, brushing my teeth thoroughly to remove the acidic taste from my mouth, and curled up in a tight ball underneath the covers, hoping that when tomorrow came it would bring brighter scenarios than the ones I had in my head.

We Ported into the Hub the next morning and found the team already there waiting for us in the boardroom.

"Okay, now that everyone is present and accounted for would you tell us what's going on Jack? Where are the creatures?" Owen asked, I snapped my head away from Ianto, who was today wearing a purple shirt and red tie to look at the Captain.

"I dealt with them, they're in the morgue. I did the paperwork, it's over and we're moving on. I've heard about some suspicious alien activity going on in the west side of the city, we need to check it out." He organised us into teams, different pairs from the last time, and sent us out. The suspicious activity turned out to be a species of small fluffy orange creatures that ate mainly honey.

According to labels on the crates we found them in they were due to be shipped all over the world, though what use they were we had no idea. Failing to see how we could use these little things to arm the human race against the future he pushed them back in the rift at the next available opportunity; or so the report said. First they ran around the Hub for a little while, escaped from their cell twice, and had to be herded back to them with a trail of honey.

Getting them to stay in the crates was another thing they were explorative and ingenious; burrowing their way out through the wood and scampering off. We spent the better part of three days checking and double-checking the crates and counting the little furry orange bodies.

Torchwood was exhausting. After a week of constant Weevil attacks and picking up the various flotsam and jetsam flung out by the rift we spilt into two teams to spread our policing of the Rift. Owen, Tosh, Oryx, Al and Ianto began at midnight, and Ed, Gwen, Ianto and me took over at midday.

Jack was in and out of both teams, due to his not sleeping, but even he didn't seem to notice Ianto's place in both of the teams. When he did he sent the Welshman home with orders to get at least ten hours of sleep and come back later.

Eventually the Rift slacked off its onslaught and the bric-a-brac being flung out of it began to thin. Days became silent, nights less frantic, on one particularly slow day I slept through ten of the twelve hours we were in the Hub. We dispatched with the tag team routine and lapsed back into a more relaxed one.

Oryx Summoned in a huge stereo system and we spent most of the day working or not to a background track of everyone's favourite bands. I turned up the volume on a techno rock band Owen had added to the mix that morning and lay across a lounge, my legs over the top and my head near the ground. It was peaceful as the blood pounded in my ears and the clattering of keyboards and laughter echoed around the Hub. It would have been ideal if only it wasn't so _boring_.

"Well Jack, this has been fun and all; but I hear party preparations calling my name. I'll send you an invite, alright?" I said to Jack looking around for Ed Al and Oryx.

They waved at me from the other side of the Hub and vanished, apparently they agreed with me then, good. I threw each member of the Torchwood team a little parcel that Al had made up in his spare time recently. I had no idea what was in them but Al was good with that kind of thing. I winked at Jack and Ported out of the Hub back to my castle on a cloud.

I have no idea what to put here right now…

My favourite Minion George was waiting in the Entrance Hall when I appeared there with a look of deepest concern on his face.

"There's someone to see you, they just got here and I told them I didn't know when you'd be back…" He waved a hand in the direction of a little room with lots of chairs in it that I didn't know we had and I walked in, to find a familiar Blue box sitting in the middle of the room glowing faintly.

I smiled happily and cast my mind around for Ed, Al and Oryx; finding them in the kitchen downstairs, I was about to send them a message when the door to the TARDIS opened and a man stepped out.

A man with floppy brown hair and a bow tie and suspenders, followed by a girl with hair as red as the knitted scarf around her neck.

"Doctor?" I asked, the man took a second look at me.

"Frog!" He said exuberantly, shaking my hand vigorously, "Just the person I wanted to see!"

"Do you know her?" The girl asked the Doctor and I noted that she had a Scottish accent, which was cool, he looked at her briefly nodding.

"Oh yes I was here before a long time ago; I was a different man back then."

"It was three weeks ago Doctor." I replied, he looked momentarily thrown and then raised an arm to his red-headed companion,

"This is Amy, Amy this is Frog." Amy shook my hand silently I called for my friends and felt them appear outside the door. Stepping back and ushering them in I smiled at the Doctor and Amy again.

"You remember my friends right Doctor? Ed, Al and Oryx." I decided not to mention Captain Jack, not knowing what had happened between when I'd seen him last and now.

"How have you been Doctor?" the ever considerate Al asked, the Doctor replied with a few long winded and cryptic remarks and the conversation stopped for a few minutes.

"You know; we did actually have a reason for coming here." Amy finally said, the Doctor jumped a little coming out of a slightly brooding reverie.

"Yes! You see we found this kid wandering around on the second moon of _this little planet that I like to call Barbara. Interesting story that you see-"Amy trod on his foot, "Oh yes, anyway; we found this kid and we got to talking as you do. He mentioned he knew you and that he was trying to come visit but couldn't seem to remember where he was or where he was going; so we gave him a lift!" _

_He reached out behind him and rapped on the TARDIS doors, slowly they creaked open and a boy stepped out, a boy with dusty red hair who was clad in all black with a large dog and a black unicorn by his side. The dog barked joyously and jumped on me, I laughed and pushed him off of me. _

_"Nice to see you to Aula," Turning back to the boy I paused for a minute and then took a few very fast steps and hugged him. "Hamael! You came back! How in the Solar System did you end up on Barbara? I thought we left you last in Peanut's world? Did she take you there? Was it fun? Is Maion doing alright, is he missing Valoel?" Hamael made a wheezing noise and I released my hold on his chest. _

_"I've been fine, so has Aula and Maion, we were just walking. But we'd been walking so long I must have fallen asleep on my feet or something. One moment I was on a path, by a road you know normal thing, and the next I was on this alien platen in an alien marketplace. And ____he __was there." He jerked his thumb at the Doctor who waved. _

_"Well by all means feel free to come to the party! I'm getting in as many people as possible!" _

"What party?" Ed asked warily I giggled.

"Why the one I just decided we were having! Come along now; we must prepare food and make a guest list and decorate the hall and- Oh no Doctor you're coming too!" The man in question had at that moment been trying to sneak away into the TARDIS but I grabbed his bowtie and pulled him along behind me as a walked off jabbering away as I went.

**Next time on CCC: A party is planned. Hilarity Ensues. **

**This time it might actually happen.**


	48. Prevention

**MORE POSTING! I come bearing a message of hope! After this chapter there will be at the most five or six more! This Fanfiction will not drag endlessly on like The Never-ending story! (I tried reading it once, I never finished…)**

"Hey Al, have you found that paint yet?" Oryx called, we were currently inside the room that I had decided to keep all the party stuff in, looking for black pain to paint the walls of the hall, with little success. We had found almost every other colour imaginable and a few that weren't, along with tables, chairs, a bird or two, a large spotted tablecloth, and my left shoe.

"I found another lizard." Al replied, setting the thing in the corridor outside the room where upon it scuttled away towards outside. I pulled aside a small folded card table and found behind it a can of paint; examining it I found it to be black paint.

"I found some black paint! We're on the right track guys don't give up!" I declared wading my way through the debris in the room and setting the bucket of paint on a white sheet just outside the door. I threw myself back into the bric-a-brac that had accumulated in the room after all our various parties, shoving aside a stack of fish bowls in search of more paint.

"Does this party have a theme?" Al asked after a few more minutes of searching,

"I don't know… Black walls, lights, whatever I feel like throwing around, why?" He held up the top of a large banner decorated with a silver castle. "That's perfect! We'll put it up somewhere!" He added it to the pile on the white sheet, which consisted of more than a few things we never came down to get, and plenty that I didn't even know I had.

Upon the joyous discovery of more buckets of black paint, we endeavoured to drag the sheet behind us to the hall; it was far too heavy and full, so we got another two sheets, split the cargo and hauled it all there together.

We deposited the things in the middle of the hall and I set about rounding up some paint brushes, Al rigged up some safety harnesses for himself and Ed, for some reason Oryx and I could fly so we went ahead and began to paint things on the walls and ceiling.

We began coating the room in a thick layer of black paint, dripping white splotches on it every now and then, trying not to let too much paint fall on anyone moving around bellow us. Oryx dabbed a small purple circle onto a small section of the roof, encircling it with small orange rings to form a little planet.

In keeping with the new spacey theme I grabbed a rope and swung from one side of the room to the other, letting a paintbrush of yellow paint trail across the ceiling as I went, swinging back and adding a bright white star at the beginning. This led to a small flurry of details, including a small drawing of a cat wearing a space suit in one corner at the very top of the ceiling.

"I think the banner should go over on the far wall; the one facing the door." I said, looking at the others, Oryx wiped some paint on her jeans and nodded in agreement, Al started moving the banner over in the direction I'd indicated I jumped into the air and helped him attach it to the wall. I rummaged around in the box of string lights and streamers and came up with armfuls of coloured paper lanterns. We filled them with candles and spelled them to drift slowly around the room. I drew the curtains, lit all the candles at once and we stood back to observe the effect.

The whole Hall was now an inky black, dotted with white stars, a planet here and there, and one vibrant shooting star. Little mysterious lights floated around the room like will-o'-the-wisps appearing in a marsh to some weary traveller. I snuffed out the candles plunging us into momentary darkness save the tiny shining of some of the white paint, which glowed ever so slightly, and opened the curtains again.

"I'm thinking we should set the stage up over in this corner," Oryx said, walking to one side of the hall, "Just a small one with the sound system and stuff on it to keep it out of the way a little."

"Yeah and the food table over here." Al said the conversation launched into the concise positioning of said table and I decided to go and check on the preparation of the food that would be set out on said table, not to mention the guest list afterwards. I had left Ed to do that and was sure he would need some help at least catching all the pigeons we would need.

The kitchen was its usual bustling self the day before a party, containing a large number of happily cooking Minions, the Doctor, and Amy. The Doctor seemed to be less interested in the cooking than in the architecture of the room, but Amy was throwing herself into the preparation of the various delicacies that Clair so loved to dish out. I snagged a few sandwiches for Ed and me, as it felt somewhat like lunchtime.

"How's that list going?" I asked once I had located the reading room on its current floor and sank into the chair across from Ed, as the ones on either side of him were entirely covered in paper. Or rather one extremely long sheet of paper.

"I think I've almost got them all," he handed me a smaller sheet of paper, the people he was considering but wasn't sure about, for various reasons; they'd clash with another guest, they were too likely to believe their 'dream' and start talking about it to people. I ran my finger down it.

"Them, not them, them though." I underlined the people who wouldn't be a problem and looked longingly at a group of teens too entrenched into interpreting and believing their dreams to invite. I threw Ed his sandwich and took a large bite out of my own. "So, who else is on the list so far?" He waded through the paper and located one end.

"Winry's on here, and Pinako, Mustang though he's listed as Pony Boy, Hawkeye, all of central HQ sans Bradley and his assistant." He paused for a moment to take a bite of his sandwich, "We've also got Izumi and her family, Black Hayate, the Torchwood team and Myfanwy the Pteranodon as well as the SUV… Wait, the SUV? Why are they bringing the SUV?" I shrugged, "Okay… The Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh Doctor with Martha Jones, Donna Noble, Amy Pond, Rose Tyler and her clone of the Tenth Doctor. You also added the entire student and staff body of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, any of their family or friends they want to bring along within reason, the ghosts, the Giant Squid, the House Elves, and any of the paintings that want to come along.

"Under the coffee stain you've got Hamael, Maion, Aula, the unicorns of the Forest, the elves in fact all of the residents of The Dark Forest, except the Piskies but they don't live there anymore anyway. You've named every single resident of the X-Mansion and also the Brotherhood as a group, and then there's a bunch of gibberish I don't recognise." I looked over the top of the list at the section he was indicating.

"Oh that was when I fell asleep, ignore it."

"Alright then, after that you've got the Sohma family Zodiac, Arisa Uotani, Saki Hanajima, and Tohru Honda. Then follows a list of people I don't remember."

"That's because you've never met them before neither have I for that matter but you've never met anyone before you meet them, so there we go."

"That made no sense." Ed said, stating it like a well known fact which it was, and reaching for the glass of water he had next to him, I snatched the list out of his hand while he drank and kept reading.

"Totoro, the two mini Totoros, Mei, Satsuki, Nausicaä and crew, Kiki and her delivery service, those who once may have resided on Laputa; that castle up there in the sky that's not mine. Princess Mononoke and her court, not to mention the little click-head things!" I read happily,

"Perhaps we shall all be Spirited Away when Haku and Chihiro show up with their little Susuwatari friends, or maybe we'll be kept grounded the weight of Misery's tears. Ruby and Skullboy and the rest are welcome of course as long as they bring Misery." Ed sighed and snatched the list back from me.

"Peanut, Jack, Steven, Sally, Lock, Shock, Barrel, Lady Christina de Souza?"

"Well of course she was funny and she has a flying bus." I said obviously clearing the matter up once and for all.

"Right then. Further down, Haru Yoshioka, Baron Humbert von Gikkingen, Muta, and Toto. Clary, Jace, Simon and the Shadowhunters with brains? You know what; never mind. Wait, who're these people? Louise? Clarissa? Wolfy? Ail?"

"Some friends of mine from before all this thought they'd like to come." I explained.

"Well they're last on the list, except for some more chicken scratch which I assume was you falling asleep again while still holding a pen." I confirmed his assumptions and Ed tapped me lightly on the head with the rolled up list.

"Right then! If we get the invitations mailed and copies of the list printed and handed out to a few Minions we can a have a whole Bouncer thing going on, though of course anyone who makes it to the party without being invited is something special and should be allowed in anyway but I think it's cool so it's happening." I ranted Ed nodded and pulled a very large stack of enveloped and tossed me a pair of gloves.

"You're catching the pigeons." He told me I stuck my tongue out but headed off in the direction of the aviary anyway. When I got there I was surprised to see twenty or so pigeons already lined up on a low perch cooing to themselves.

"Well, this is strange, what're you all doing down here?" I said chirpily poring seed into the bowls and filling the water dishes since I was nearby. The birds said nothing as one would expect of them. As the birds didn't seem to be looking to moving any time soon I left them to themselves and walked back down to the kitchens to lend a hand. On my arrival, however, I was politely shoved out of the frantic room for my own safety, or so they said. It was certainly true that a large plume of black smoke issued from the door a few minuted after my arrival, after which I agreed and left.

I wandered down the hallway back towards where I had left Ed, he probably needed some help. As it happened he needed no help whatsoever, as I neared the library he shouldered the door open and stepped out into the hall, holding an immense tottering stack of paper. I ran into him, tripped over my own feet and went sprawling under a tidal wave of paper.

We collected all the envelopes and walked the rest of the way to the aviary. The pigeons were still on their perch, in fact there were more now, all chattering away the way birds do in a language all their own. Ed pulled a reel of string from his pocket and I produced some scissors. The birds looked exceedingly calm but they turned out to be fidgety and after six envelopes my fingers were bleeding and I begged a rest from Ed. He told me to go help Al and Oryx. I cheered and tripped out of the room.

Al and Oryx were in the hall in the middle of installing out new massive in-ground trampoline, the size of an Olympic swimming pool it took a small army of Minions to carry it. I grabbed and empty space and helped them drag it across the room and lower it into the space.

"Well now that's done, what's next?" Al aid, Oryx consulted her bit of paper.

"We just have to set up the tables for the food and we're done!" She replied, the Minions came back, though I hadn't noticed them leave, carrying around fifteen large collapsed tables.

They put them down and we started assembling them. I turned on some work music and Ed even came in to help us with the last ones. When all the tables were up we had a brief rest, until Amy came and asked us to help carry the food in. This proved to be the part of the preparation that took the longest.

I spelled the food once it was all sitting on the tables, to keep it hot, the punch to keep it cold, and lit a fire underneath the vat-like cauldron of Hot chocolate, snatching a marshmallow off one of the platters in front of it.

Turning up the music ever so slightly we lay ourselves down on the couches that were strewn around the room to wait for our guests to arrive.

"Wait a minute!" I said, standing up and clapping my hands; the curtains and shutters of all the windows swung shut on the setting sun and the lanterns floating around the room flickered into life. "That's better." I said, laying myself back down on my midnight blue lounge, pillowing my head on Ed's lap. "I now declare myself exhausted and uninterruptable until they get here!" I said, throwing an arm over my eyes. Oryx snorted, Al hiccupped.

A knock echoed through the castle and I sprang to my feet, sending Ed's book flying to be caught by my favourite Minion George. Jack, Gwen, Owen Tosh, and Ianto were walking through the doors to the hall, having been waved through the velvet rope and had their coats taken by George, who then proceeded to disappear to go hang them up… somewhere.

"Captain!" I yelled hugging him in greeting.

"Hey Frog, I'm liking what you've done with the place since I saw it last." Jack replied smiling rakishly. George came around with a tray and offered everyone some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

"Owen Harper!" I greeted the surly-looking doctor, hugging him also, "Jellied Eel?" I offered him a jar he looked at me strangely.

"No thank you." I shrugged; his loss.

The party started off slower than most of the other ones, people trickled in and wandered around vaguely for a while, but as more people came in the talk grew louder and more raucous. A few people started dancing, and then everyone was on the dance floor. Someone turned the music up even louder than before, and suddenly there was a turntable and a random DJ Minion, but no one complained because we were all feeling a little too happy and bubbly.

"Whatever it is we're drinking I like it!" I declared loudly, tripping over someone or other.

"Okay that's it; no more punch for you, in fact let's just get rid of the punch all together." Ed said taking the punch away somewhere. No one really minded that either, we all just drank more hot chocolate with marshmallows. And somehow the tipsiness didn't go away. (Owing to the fact that when no one was looking Lady Christina de Souza had spiked both the hot chocolate and the marshmallows with vodka.)

"Whatever… Marshmallows." I said, popping one into my mouth as a Minion tugged on my shirt sleeve to introduce some late arrivals. I turned in the direction he indicated and saw three people and a large grey Timber wolf crossing the hall through the crowd towards me. The first person following behind the wolf flicked her blonde hair out of her face and hugged me warmly.

"Hey how're you going?" Louise asked me I hugged back as I replied.

"I'm good! Ail! Hi Wolfy!" I said loudly hugging them happily too. Wolfy winced at the noise, I ruffled his hair. Ail smiled and handed me a small midnight blue box.

"I found this a little while ago in this little market in Tibet," Ail travelled extensively for no reason at all, "it just seemed right for you." I nodded gravely and put the box in my pocket, handing her a small red one in return.

"I found this just then and I have no idea what it is; so enjoy!" We laughed at that, and drank some hot chocolate.

After that the party got a little more out of control. The dancing got wilder and a mosh pit developed near the stage. Once or twice I flashed the whole party outside onto the lawn, and once into midair overlooking the castle. Captain Jack and Ianto disappeared somewhere after a while, as did a few other people, though we never found those last few.

For a little while sometime around eleven o'clock at night we ran out of hot chocolate and my brain cleared a little, allowing me to remember the giant potato sack race with startling clarity. When the vat was refilled by tipsy Minions, they had joined the party with great gusto, I took a turn at stirring it for a while, this was achieved by me holding onto the handle of a giant wooden spoon and running around in circles on the rim of the cauldron thing. The Minions disliked me doing this and sent me back down the ladder.

"Ed!" I yelled, noticing him leaning against a wall, a little wobbly on my legs I tripped a bit on my over to him and had to stop momentarily to catch myself on the side of the vat. By the time I had regained my balance he was gone. I scanned the crowd, failed to see him and scanned it again. I caught a glimpse of the blue shirt he was wearing by the door and followed it.

Or at least; attempted to follow it. I fought my way through the crowd but was waylaid by a large mass dancing of the Hokey Pokey. When that was over I went back to fighting my way through the crowd, but I ended up further back than where I began. It was at this point that I remembered I could Port and I did so, into the foyer where a few Minions were sitting around chatting and drinking the punch Ed had confiscated, I snatched up a couple of glasses and walked out some random French windows that had appeared onto a balcony whose appearance was equally as unforseen, as we had been on the ground floor at the beginning of the night but now we were treated to a beautiful moonlight view of the Forest and lake.

I silently offered the glass of punch to Ed when I was beside him, leaning on the balcony railing.

"Thanks," He said, taking the little glass and draining it.

You're welcome! So, how's it been!" I said loudly, Ed pressed a hand to his forehead,

"Do you even know the meaning of the word quiet?"

"Oh sorry!" I whispered loudly, Ed sighed.

"Better I suppose. It's getting louder in there, it gave me a headache." A koala from The Forest ambled past and I burst out laughing, Ed gave me a strange look but eventually he started laughing too; though it was admittedly after I dropped my punch glass on my foot, hopped around holding it for a second before overbalancing and falling over.

"Ow." I commented, using Ed to claw my way back to standing. "Speaking of which how's the head?"

"Better, I might go back in soon, though it's nice out here."

"Ooh look a butterfly! Sorry you were saying?" I pointed to the small white winged insect as it fluttered by, moonlight reflecting off of its wings, Ed chuckled again and flicked the side of my head. The butterfly flew back and landed in his arm, he watched it until it flew off again.

"I think I hear some singing, come let us go and find out what it is!" I said, pulling Ed with me back towards the hall.

People were indeed singing; Calcifer's Saucepan Song had become very popular though most people didn't seem to know more than the rough tune. I joined the chorus and Ed filmed it.

The singing led to another group Hokey Pokey and some campfire songs, including my favourite; 'The Campfire song' song. The music was more laid back when it returned after the singing was over, I sat down on the rim of the now empty hot chocolate vat to watch a while. Al and Oryx had departed somewhere around the third rendition of 'The Campfire Song' song, Haru the Rave Master was eating some chicken (that was laced with vodka marshmallows since I got bored), the large black dog that had trotted in through a Portal after Peanut morphed into Sirius to share the chicken.

Peanut herself was sprawled out across a bright purple couch asleep, exhausted with the effort of looking for Steven. He was a great guy and all but the people and creatures from other worlds got to be a bit too much for him, he drew the line at people who stole and absorbed the hearts of other people, we hadn't seen or heard from him in a few hours now.

Ed asked me if I would like to dance, I accepted and followed him down the ladder to the dance floor. It was simple and slow and relaxed, I wound my arms round his neck, he put his on my hips and we just sort of swayed and turned every now and then.

When the sky outside started to get light, something that George had to point out to me, people started stumbling home. I stationed myself next to the door and waved goodbye to each group as they left for their home worlds.

"It was fun; I'll see you next time yeah?" I said to Jack, giving him a hug and handing him his coat.

"Have fun with the clean up on this one." Peanut said, awake now and ready to leave since they had found Steven hiding in a tree, I waved goodbye as she marched her group through a Portal and back to our Base. Ed, from his place right next to me, chuckled.

"She's right though; remember the clean-up from the very first party?" I sighed and nodded.

"I'm too tired to even contemplate cleaning anything right now it won't run away overnight, however much it pains me to admit that." As the last of the guests vanished through the doors Ed and I made our way slowly to bed, barely able to put one foot in front of the other I knocked at least three vases of flowers off of their various plinths and opened two doors into my face before a Minion took pity on me and helped. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over my head, noticing that something was different but not able to tell what. Ed hesitated a moment and slid in next to me, I curled into him, wrapping my whole self around him and falling soundly and truly asleep.

**Next time on CCC: The aftermath of the party is revealed in full. Hilarity probably does not ensue.**

**I'm resisting the urge to just post everything and be done with it… Perhaps I will, all except for the ending of course… **


	49. Chopsticks

Demons! Fluffy demons with pink tails!

When I was pulled out of my sleep later without any idea how long I had been sleeping by some of the most annoying birds I had ever heard, my head felt like someone had been beating it with a brick or two. I groaned and threw the nearest thing to hand which turned out to be a shoe in the direction of the noise. It sailed right out the window and into the tree the birds were roosting in, from the aggravated squawking.

My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton, so I spat out my pillow, but the feeling of deep thirst didn't abate. I pushed the blankets a little way off my head, and then pulled them straight back up again, light searing my eyes.

There was a rattle as the curtains drew themselves but I couldn't face the thought of getting up anymore, I would just have to live with the thirst for a little while. The door creaked as it opened, sending a fresh stab of pain through my head. Footsteps that I recognised crossed the room, one almost silent and bare and one clicking slightly as it hit the ground, Ed. He folded the blankets on my head back.

"I heard you move and saw the shoe; you're awake now and you need to drink something." He whispered I made a noise that might have been bordering on coherent speech and levered myself slowly upright without opening my eyes.

Ed found my hand and brought it up, pressing a glass into it. I drained the glass and cracked open my eyes. I was facing the window, but Ed was standing between the little crack in the curtains and me, holding another glass of water.

He handed this to me, exchanging it for the now empty one which he set on a nearby table.

"Sip that slowly." He said a little louder now, but my head wasn't throbbing so much.

"What time is it?" I croaked, sipping my water, Ed shrugged.

"Not a clue, I got up a couple of hours ago. There aren't too many coherent people around the Minions are trying to work though. I keep telling them to go home but they won't listen." He sighed, lying on the bed next to me, I smiled warmly at the Minions and cast my mind around for them, _Go home and rest, we'll clean up. If there are any Minions who weren't here last night who are interested in helping they can come to, but everyone who was here last night needs to go home and stay there for a while, at least two weeks._

"Those guys…" I said, they trickled out of the castle slowly, leaving it pretty much empty. I dragged myself out of the bed and headed for the door, "They have all gone now, and I am having a shower."

"Wait a second." Ed said, slipping out the door and coming back a few minutes later, "I closed as many curtains as I could," he explained, "I doubt the light'd help the headache." I walked through the mercifully dark corridors into the dim bathroom that nevertheless sent a small spike of pain through my head.

Half an hour of steaming hot water worked wonders on my headache, and woke me up to no end. I found some new clothes and brushed my hair, and braved the sunlit lower levels of the castle.

It was practically blinding at first but became bearable as I walked into the kitchen. It too was empty of Minions, even Claire wasn't here, so Ed was cooking, something he had discovered he possessed yet more natural talent for. He made a great stew, which he turned out to be cooking at that moment.

I looked out the window and saw the sun sinking lower towards the cloud edge. I must have been asleep for most of the day, I deduced, or a whole day and most of the next one, like I had when I was cursed and turned Evil. After we ate dinner, or breakfast for me, the clean up began.

I was feeling almost wholly revived so I was running around at top speed carrying things and fetching paint remover and bins. All the same the lack of Minions or even Al and Oryx, who were likely still resting, made the cleaning take quite a while. But in the end we got the hall and surrounding castle looking almost exactly the same as it had before the party, though the chocolate stains on the ceiling took some time to shift.

"I'm so tired after that I think I need a nap." I declared, stretching and yawning widely. Ed shrugged and went to get a book from the library, apparently Al had asked him if he could borrow his notes on it.

I walked into the bedroom and stopped, finally realising what was different about the bed, first of all there was only one. Ed and I had been mostly ignoring my bed and sleeping in his as it was under the window, and now a Minion had apparently decided to remove it and replace it with a desk.

The bed we had been sleeping in was slightly closer to the middle of the room and twice as big as it had been. I shrugged this development of and crawled back into the new bed, curling up into a little ball and dozing off.

Half asleep I remembered the little box Ail had given me and jumped out of bed again, and found it on the desk where my bed used to be. I sat back on the bed with my feet under me to open it, untying the creamy white ribbon and letting it flow through my fingers onto the bedspread. Inside the little box was an antique looking pocket watch with an ornate silver outer casing and hands. I noticed a note under the watch and picked it up,

'Frog, I found this watch in a lovely little market in the centre of Tibet, it's apparently more than a hundred years old and made out of metal from a falling star. Because it comes from the heavens it always tells the correct time, but also because of its origins it mayn't be the time where _you_ are.' I flipped open the watch, half past eight, sounded about right.

"What's that?" Ed sat next to me on the bed and I passed the watch to him,

"From my friend Ail, we'll be able to tell the right time again!" I clapped my hands excitedly. Ed smiled gently and leant over and kissed me, letting the pocket watch slide through his fingers. His tongue wandered around my mouth and I explored his.

A shiver went up my spine as his cold Automail fingers traced pattern on my back under my shirt and reaching for his, undoing the front and running my hands over the soft skin.

I started to trail my mouth down his neck, a cough by the door interrupted me, however. Having my back to the door, I leant my forehead on Ed's chest and didn't turn around. He set his head on top of mine.

"Uh… Did you finish that book on transitory matter…?" Al's voice said from the doorway, Ed reached over the side of the bed and tossed a book in his direction, I heard Al catch the book shuffle around for a minute and leave the room closing the door behind him.

I giggled then tittered and unable to hold my laughter in anymore had to lean against Ed to stop myself falling over, though I did anyway taking him down with me. We lay there laughing for a few minutes and then just lay in silence, I ran my fingers through Ed's loose hair.

"Do you ever think…?" He started then trailed off,

"Nope I make it a point not to think. Ever." I replied, "Seriously now what were you saying?" He shook his head, "Do I ever think…? What…? That the barn's on fire? No, we don't have a barn. At least I don't think we do I mean the last time I looked…" I trailed away this time; Ed was looking at me with an actually serious look in his eyes.

"Do you ever think about that first week I was here?"

"Occasionally, we ate some jelly, had a party, wandered around The Dark Forest, Oryx named her castle Stephanie. Why are you bringing it up?"

"Because that whole time I never once questioned what I was doing here. Al had his body he was happy and I was happy."

"You got stabbed by a unicorn that week didn't you? Or was that the next week? How is that happy inducing? Unless you're really weird…" Ed rolled his eyes.

"Well yeah I admit that wasn't exactly a cause for joy but all that same I was, and am still happy here. You completely changed my life with your crazy, undeniable, and completely unique weirdness!" He chuckled. "Even with all the bruises, headaches, questions, confusion, and yes the stab wounds too. I wouldn't have my life any other way."

Ed brought his hands up cupped them under my chin, and pulled my face towards his. Our lips met and I felt a spark travel from my middle finger on my right hand to the rest of my body. Howl's ring. I pulled away from Ed and looked down at the ring sitting on my finger, it was lit up from the inside shining with its own fiery intensity. Ed's ring had lit up too casting a faint light over his hand.

An idea came to me and I grabbed his hand and pulled it up, touching the stones set into the rings to each other. The light flared green and brighter than ever before.

I kissed him and the hand holding mine slid up my arm to the side of my face, his other hand, cold and metal slid up my back. I nibbled on his bottom lip and he responded by moving his mouth to my neck, running his hot wet tongue over it, a quiet strangled noise escaped me and I started a trail of kisses down his neck and chest. He sent another shiver down my spine trailing butterfly kisses and his tongue along my collarbone.

I jumped a foot and could've sworn my life flashed in front of my eyes when Ed's phone started ringing. He pulled it out and flicked it open.

"Yeah? Sure, I'll tell her. We'll be down in a minute." He flicked the phone shut and slipped it into his pocket. "Frog get up, that was Doctor Number Ten, there is apparently a large spaceship full of aliens hovering over London again, and he is going to deal with it and he wondered if we wanted to come." I threw Ed his shirt and pulled my own over my head.

"Did he forget to leave last night or something?" A shrug it was The Doctor after all, "Who else is coming?"

"Peanut maybe." Ed pulled his socks on and I threw him his shoes, shoving my feet inside mine, I grabbed my phone and called Oryx.

"Yo! Froggy! You know I was just talking to Al and _he_ said-!"

"Oryx can I cut in? Thanks, Doctor number ten called he's going on an adventure you interested?"

"Oh I would, but you see I just found this _huge_ sea snake the length of Japan at least in the Pacific, gonna go take pictures. Do have fun though." I flipped the phone shut.

"Speaking of which, how did The Doctor get your number anyway?" I asked Ed as we headed downstairs.

"Not a clue we should ask." He said, as we arrived in the Entrance Hall. I grabbed my coat, shrank my Elemental Staff and slid it into the holster on my back and I ran to the large blue box parked in the middle of the room. I rapped smartly on the door with my knuckles and it was flung open by a tall skinny man in a blue suit with gravity-defying brown hair.

"Doctor! It's been ages! Well a month at most, but still, it _feels_ like ages!" I said hugging him. "Didn't see you much at the party, saw you arrive thought I heard you leave, though it might have been Nine." He laughed, beckoning us inside the TARDIS, I greeted the ship silently inside my head.

"How did you do that anyway, people can't cross their own timeline." He asked, flicking switches and pushing buttons on the console.

"Well, do you remember going to a party when you were number Nine?"

"No… Good point, why is that?"

"I don't know, some people remember, some people don't, some people half remember, some people half forget, there is a difference." I grabbed at the railing and held tightly as the TARDIS jerked rather wildly.

"Hmm, I suppose, but the next me was there too, wonder how that'll happen, I really hope it's not just a brick or something, incident with a sandwich toaster you know."

_You know what happens._ His mind voice almost accused,

_I didn't the first time, but… yeah. You don't want to know._

"You're right I don't." He said out loud, Ed looked at my with an eyebrow raised, I stuck my tongue out at him and ran over to the console.

"What happens when I push this button?"

"The universe explodes." I yanked my finger away from the little green thing. "Well that or it makes some tea, I can't remember and I've never thought it worth the risk to try." The Doctor continued I laughed.

"Can I?"

"No." Ed said,

"Please!"

"No!" Ed and The Doctor said together.

"Okay, how about this one then?" I said, The Doctor shrugged.

"You know, I don't know what that one does, it just appeared one day I haven't pressed it yet." I jumped up and down a little, stuck out my finger and pushed the little orange button. The TARDIS rocked wildly, and then became perfectly still.

"Okay…" I said, picking myself up off the floor where I had fallen,

"We've landed." The Doctor said, running to the door and stuck his head out, "We're in a forest, nice day."

"Weren't we heading to London?" Ed asked as we trooped out the door after The Doctor.

"It is a Time Machine you know." The Doctor reminded us,

"Oh yes and it's so reliable, it always gets you _exactly_ when you want to go." I said sarcastically, The TARDIS poked my mind. _No offence meant my friend, I blame his driving._ I said to her.

"Just a quick look around, I don't recognise this at all, it's interesting." The Doctor said, heading down a walking trail into the forest, Ed shrugged at me and walked after him.

I jogged a little to catch up with Ed, tripped on a stone and went skidding. Laughing, I got up and brushed the dirt off myself and caught up with the other two. We walked through the vegetation seeing a squirrel or two and a dragonfly, this was as exiting as it got and it was quickly boring.

"I'm bored have we walked enough yet, for all we know this is just some random forest in England or something, or a park, maybe it's a park, have you considered the possibility that this could be a-."

"Shush." Ed said, stopping suddenly, I stopped speaking, and walking, and peered around his shoulder, we had just walked into a clearing housing several large wolves, all of them looked skinny and undernourished.

The three of us backed away slowly as a wolf with a scar across its muzzle leapt up and started towards us growling.

"Now, now my friend, no need to get hasty," I said shakily pulling my Elemental Staff out of its holster as I did so, lengthening it to its normal height, just a little taller than myself.

"Don't stare don't move quickly don't speak loudly don't challenge it in any way." The Doctor said quietly, the scarred wolf bunched its hindquarters and lunged at Ed, I swung my staff and threw the animal back with a blast of air.

"That was a challenge!" The Doctor yelled as the rest of the pack stood up and started towards us, I lit a wall of fire across the ground directly in front of the advancing wolves and they shrank away from the flames, I grabbed Ed's hand and managed to touch The Doctor's shoulder cutting off the flame as I Ported us a kilometre or so away.

"Well then, where are we now?" I said, looking around.

"You don't know?" Ed asked,

"Well I was a little preoccupied what with the angry wolves and all." I replied while beginning to cast my mind around for the TARDIS to use as a landmark. The Doctor pre-empted me by sticking his finger in the air and heading off into the trees.

"This way!" he called over his shoulder, I shrugged at Ed this time and followed him. We walked for about fifteen minutes stopped to drink some water, and continued into the trees.

"Ooh Ed look, daffodils!" I said, picking one of the flowers and tying the stem into some string around my wrist. The forest was really quite beautiful once you got into it, I decided and we continued in a happy little bubble. The Doctor stopped us in front of a truly enormous tree; if the three of us were to join hands we wouldn't have made it half way around the circumference of the thing.

"Wow, that's incredible." I said, "It's got to be hundreds of years old."

"Thousands," said The Doctor, I stood staring up at the majesty of the thing, and a hand clamped over my mouth. I struggled and tried to shout, a blindfold was tied roughly over my eyes and someone picked my up and I was moving quickly through the air.

**Next time on CCC: What's this; a kidnapping!**


	50. Combustion

I tried to hit out at the person holding me but they grabbed my hand and forced it behind my back, twisting it painfully.

"You really don't want me to drop you." A quiet voice said in my ear, I struggled a bit more and they sighed, and to my surprise released their hold. I plummeted through the air for a sickening amount of time, feeling fear bubbling up inside of my throat as small things nicked at my face and arms. I felt sure that I was about to hit the ground and splatter all over the place when I was in someone's arms again. I clung to the person who had caught me, shaking with terror.

"I told you so." The same calm quiet voice said in my ear and we were moving again, in the treetops, I reasoned, and at a great speed. The rushing wind in my ears stopped and I was set rather roughly on the ground and the blindfold was removed.

In front of me was a large stone fortress, it protruded from the side of a mountain and had something large and red painted on the door. I stared up at it in shock. I looked around and saw a boy with flaming red hair, cloudy red eyes and a dark knee length cloak with a high collar and red clouds on it he pulled out a sword. I immediately tried Porting away, but I didn't move.

"Just keep walking until I tell you to stop." he said, I gulped and walked into the fortress, noting that the large red thing on the door was another cloud. It was dark and gloomy inside with a nice evil feeling going for it. Red hair boy marched me into a room where more guys wearing the cloaks with red clouds and silver headbands on a few of them, were sprawled across various pieces of furniture.

"This is the new girl yes?" a kid in an orange swirly mask said excitedly, jumping around as red hair sheathed his sword. "Hello there new girl! Tobi is pleased to meet you! Tobi likes meeting new people! Tobi is a good boy!" He hugged me and I took a step back.

"Whoa what?" I said, a boy standing in a dark corner said nothing as he stepped a little closer, I fought the urge to run as far away as I could as fast as I could and wriggled away from hyper-boy Tobi.

"We're the Akatsuki, you're being recruited as our new member."

"The what?" I asked, wondering where Ed and The Doctor where and if they were okay, these guys looked dangerous and a little unstable.

"The Akatsuki," he repeated, "we're a criminal organisation of ninjas who-" I interrupted, scary or not I was feeling a little annoyed,

"Aim to take over the world?" I said,

"Well yes that is the plan." I snorted,

"What's your problem bitch?" A silver haired guy said loudly coming closer, I stared up at him trying very hard not to be intimidated.

"Well, taking over the world? Please come with something even more cliché why don't you. Burn the world bring it down from the inside! Destroy the economy and every government system, _and _the environment! Don't just 'rule the world' _incinerate_ it!" I laughed a little and red head guy smiled.

"I like this one, I'm Hidan." The guy with silver hair said, holding out his hand for me to shake I took it briefly and let go.

"I would say it was nice to meet you, but I'm not really into point blank lies." I said, "Do excuse me if I'm less than polite to an evil organisation of kidnappers!" I said, he chuckled again.

"She'll at least be useful for…entertainment purposes." Hidan said walking away into the fortress. The black haired guy who had been standing in the shadows walked past me and away as well.

"Itachi." he said shortly,

"What?" I said,

"His name, I'm Sasori by the way." Red head said, a man with dark hair, blue-grey skin and lines like gills on his face stepped forward,

"Since we're introducing ourselves my name is Kisame." he said I bowed slightly, for want of something else to do.

"I'm Konan." A woman with blue hair who I hadn't noticed said, also walking away. I was beginning to wonder why all these people were walking off when I hadn't actually introduced myself yet.

"My name is Kakuzu. It is nice to meet you." A man with shining green eyes said, I nodded.

"Charmed my name is Robyn." I said in response, a man with hair a paler shade of red than Sasori's stepped closer to me.

"I am Pein, we have witnessed your fighting and think it would be a not totally useless addition to the arsenal of our group. You will be held here while you teach us how you are able to manipulate the elements in such a way." I looked at him rather blankly.

"But why?" I said, Pein shot a glare that made me want to curl up into a little ball and not come out.

"Because I say so. Follow me." I walked behind him as he walked into the house in the mountain. He led me to an empty room with a bed and a cupboard in it. "This is your room, an Akatsuki cloak is in that cupboard. I will come and get you tomorrow morning, just be here then." He said and walked away. I stared blankly after this confusing man, just be here? Were they not even thinking that I might try and escape?

On the other hand they were all ninjas, evil ones to be precise; it would be foolish to assume any kind of mastery over them. Even in Elemental magic, Pein had seemed interested in the specific way I manipulated the elements not just the ability itself.

I pulled out the cloak and studied it. It was made of a good material that looked like it could take quite a bit of action. Red on the inside and black on the outside it was certainly an awesome garment, but I did wonder if it got hot in summer. I pulled it on over my clothes and moved around a little, it was surprisingly light.

A loud explosion rocked the fortress and I raced outside my room to find out what it was, I found Sasori in the room with all the chairs attaching strings to a wooden puppet.

"What was that?" I asked he looked at me emotionlessly. something I was beginning to believe was a common thing with him.

"Just Deidara-kohai playing around as usual." he said continuing to work on his puppet, I waited for another explosion which happened again a few minutes later and headed in that direction.

I went out through the front door and looked around, hearing another explosion and following it to a space that had been cleared of trees. In the clearing a boy in his late teens perhaps eighteen or nineteen I thought, was standing with his back to me.

I skirted around the edges of the clearing until I could see him in profile. He stared intensely ahead with a slanted blue eye, the other one was hidden behind a hunk of hair that hid half his face, at a tree marked with a white chalk cross.

He dipped a hand with manicured black fingernails into a pouch by his waist and drew out a fistful of something white. It vanished for a moment and reappeared as he opened his palm and I saw a small bird sitting there.

"That's beautiful." I said stepping out from the trees the boy whom I assumed was the Deidara that Sasori mentioned smiled at me a little smugly.

"It's my art, and true art…" he threw the bird into the air, it flew some number of metres away, "is a bang un!" He made a hand gesture of some kind and exclaimed something I didn't understand, and the bird exploded in mid air.

"Whoa, how did you do that?" I exclaimed Deidara laughed.

"Who are you un? You are wearing an Akatsuki cloak un. Yet I don't think I've seen you around before, I'd remember un." He winked and I rolled my eyes.

"You wouldn't have met me before no. I'm Robyn and Pinocchio in there, you know the kid with the red hair and no facial expression? He just kidnapped me. I'm fresh off the kidnapping line or whatever it is, to teach you all how to do this." I said, conjuring up a handful of flame and moulding it into shapes.

"Very pretty, almost an art in itself un." Deidara said, coming closer to look at my flame flower. I snuffed out the flame and began to do the same with some water, freezing it in the shape of a bird and tossing it to Deidara, who caught it and spun it around in his fingers.

"For some reason you guys need to be able to make shapes with fire to take over the world, which by the way is a boring goal, but I've already ranted about that." I said to him, he grinned some more and reached into his pocket and pulled out some more of the white stuff.

"I don't know how you do that, but I have a few tricks of my own un." He said,

"What is that stuff?"

"Clay un. I use it for my art un."

"Yeah, art is an explosion I noticed, has anyone told Pinocchio this? He certainly looks like he could use some livening up." Deidara laughed, "But how do you do it anyway?" Deidara showed me his palm; a mouth in his hand opened up and swept the clay inside it. "No way!" I yelled, "You have mouths on your hands!" Laughter again.

"Indeed, un. They infuse it with explosive chakra un." He opened his hand again and set the white clay scorpion inside down on the ground, it scuttled away.

"Oh, and what is that exactly, u-?" I pressed a finger across my lips; I would have to be careful not to pick up that particular habit. Deidara looked fairly surprised, apparently it wasn't a common question. Ah well, I wasn't particularly common myself. He adjusted his headband while he thought and I latched onto the new topic.

"What's with the headbands then?" Apparently this was still and odd question but not so much as the other one, from the look I got.

"It shows that I no longer uphold the same values and beliefs as my Village un." Deidara said, pushing aside his hair a little so I could better see the symbol in the centre of the headband with the line scored through it. That explained the different signs I saw on the bands, they were from different places. "Speaking of which, from which village do you hail un?" I floundered for a minute.

"Uh… Well, you see I don't really come from around here at all. Anywhere near here to tell the truth."

"You come from very far away un? You are a traveller un?" I nodded, liking the explanation,

"Yeah, I'm pretty used to this kind of travel, only usually people don't _kidnap_ me that bit's new. Well, it doesn't happen often. _Well_, not too often. You ninjas seem to like kidnapping people though."

"You've been kidnapped by ninjas before un?" Deidara asked, scratching his head and as he did a ring on his right index finger caught the light.

"Hey cool ring! What's it for?" I asked,

"They are given to every Akatsuki member." Deidara replied.

"I suppose I don't get one then, being a kidnapping victim I'm temporary at best right? Oh well I have one of my own anyway!" I said holding up my hand and showing him the ring there, calling to Ed at the same time. The light bubbled around the stone, but didn't go in any direction, which worried me deeply.

Deidara made his hand signs again and said his words and the scorpion exploded, in the tree right behind me. I screamed and jumped back, not looking where I was jumping and ending up _very_ close to Deidara, to be more precise standing on his foot.

"Is this what you do with your free time?" I asked, moving away quickly in case he decided to blow something up again, "Do Akatsuki members have free time? In which you do things you enjoy other than plotting the end of the world or whatever?"

"Are you asking me out un?"

"I said enjoy pyro-boy." I retorted he smirked,

"I take every and any opportunity to hone my art further, if that is even possible of course un." I snorted,

"Oh and he's modest too!" I laughed, Deidra laughed with me and we headed back to the base. Inside, Konan was laying out an amazing smelling meal.

"Have a seat you two, I'm going to get the rest of those idiots." She said, stalking out of the room.

"What's with her?" I commented as we sat down, Deidara grinned and grabbed some bread from the basket in the middle of the large round table. I stared as he took a bite, a new idea forming in my head. "Could you taste that, before it got to your mouth? With you know, the one in your hand? Have you ever tried?"

Another weird look, like he'd never considered that before.

"No, I've never tried un…" He stared at his hand, the one holding the bread, and shivered. "That is so strange un." He said,

"You can taste it! No way!" I yelled as Konan walked back into the room with the rest if the Akatsuki following behind her, glaring somewhat at the loud noise I was making. Hidan towered over me, glaring in his own angry and slightly scary way.

"You're in my fucking seat!" He said really loudly, I jumped up, almost falling on the floor and took the one next to it, which no one seemed to be sitting in.

"You could have sat there un." Hidan turned his glare on Deidara now, and he glared right back.

"What's it to you!" Hidan growled.

"Shut up, it's just a chair." Itachi said, dropping into his chair and snatching a piece of meat off the platter.

What followed was the most violent meal I had ever witnessed. Ever. The only way I ended up with any food at all was by snatching what I could in a lull that occurred about halfway through. Trying not to be killed over dinner was exhausting, though I was sure the kidnapping played its part, and by the end of the meal I was practically asleep where I sat.

Itachi vanished immediately after the food was gone in his ninja way, Sasori was sitting in a chair being silent and blank. I suppose _this_ is what Akatsuki members do in their free time, I though to myself hazily while watching Hidan chase Tobi around with a large meat cleaver while yelling something indistinct.

"Tired un?" Deidara was still sitting next to me of course. I yawned in reply. "You can go to sleep you know un. The bed in you room isn't just there to look good un. Though, thinking about it, I did decorate that room so it _does _look pretty amazing un." Another yawn, I got sleepily to my feet and shuffled away, Deidara got up followed me.

Somehow my sense of direction or memory must have improved because I actually managed to remember where I had come from earlier.

"There's a bathroom across the hall that no one really uses un." Deidara said helpfully, I nodded and waved sleepily, too tired to be suspicious. He slid the door shut but because I couldn't hear his footsteps, darn ninjas, I had no idea what happened next. Before I went to sleep I cast my mind out, looking for Ed, The Doctor, or the TARDIS, I couldn't find anything, just the forest around me.

In the morning I woke up and lay in bed for a while, thinking about my situation. I pulled my phone out of my pocket; no signal. Well, that would have been too easy. As of then I saw no real way to get out of this than go along with what they were saying and hope they let me leave.

I dragged myself out of my surprisingly comfortable bed and over to the cupboard my cloak had been in yesterday to look for some clothes. I found a small array of ninja looking clothes, most of which were indecipherable to me. I gathered what I could picture myself wearing. As well as my cloak, and crossed the hall to the bathroom. I couldn't hear anyone moving around, but I never could with these guys.

I stood in the middle of the room looking around and wondered if anyone would mind if I made a few changes; a shower for one thing. Eventually deciding that if they did mind I would just put it all back I installed a shower and hopped in.

As it turned out, Deidara lied. Though this wasn't totally surprising. I was halfway through my hot water soak when I heard the door sliding open, though as usual no footsteps, darn ninjas.

"Okay it was a lie un. No one but me though un." Deidara, I sent the coldest breeze of air I could muster in his direction, he mock shivered. "Ooh, that's a good trick girly, but you know I have a few tricks of my own un." I turned off the water and Summoned a towel, wrapping it around myself quickly as the half expected clay bird hopped into the shower. I jumped away from the explosive creature and as I was half expecting, right into Deidara.

"Do people slap you a lot? Because I can see that happening." I asked wriggling away from him, he shrugged and tossed the bird out the window, watching it fly away and detonating it. I grabbed my cloak and pulled it on over my towel, taking my clothes with me I fled to my room and sat on my bed glaring at the door in the direction of the bathroom and Deidara and blushing furiously.

I shook my head and pulled on the ninja clothes, strangely they fitted me perfectly. I looked in a mirror by the window and decided something was missing; I conjured up a headband similar to the Akatsuki's, only blank silver. On it I inscribed a cloud the same as the one on the doors and cloaks, and set a castle on top of it. I tied the band around my forehead and nodded at the effect; much better.

A knock sounded at the door and it was slid open.

"You will come with me now and show us." Pein said, I followed him outside to the area Deidara was clearing the day before. Only this time it seemed the whole team was gathered there as well. Pein led me to the front of the crowd, and left me there.

"Uh, what do you want me to do?" I said, swaying awkwardly.

**Next Time on CCC: We find out exactly what it is that they want…**


	51. The Penultimate Penultimate Chapter

"What can you do?" Pein said shortly, I nodded and considered pulling out my Elemental Staff then dismissed it, if they didn't ask I wouldn't show. I held up my hand and a flame flower blossomed, I turned it into petals of bright blue flames that rained over the crowd of watching ninjas disappearing just before hitting them.

Next I conjured up a dragon of wind that 'ate' a few people, I created another dragon of flame and the two fought high in the air, the wind dragon prevailing over the fire one, which 'fell' onto a nearby tree and ignited it.

I got quite absorbed into my little story, making little people out of water that tried to put out the tree, while the wind dragon watched on victorious.

Vines sprouted from under the tree, pushing some of the little the water people up so they could get to the flames on the top. I twined the now flowering vines around the dead tree, topping it with a star made of glittering ice that wouldn't melt.

The wind dragon had been watching all of this from midair and now I settled him on the ground around the tree. He promptly went to sleep, sending little puffs or air over the little water people as he snored.

I let the wind dragon break up into air currents that sped away, and waved a little goodbye to my water people as they sunk into the ground around the tree and vines. Tobi clapped, but the others silenced him into submission and he quickly stopped.

"And what, pray tell, is the use of any of that?" Itachi asked I felt a tiny bit hurt, but resolved to show him exactly what I could do when pushed, just so he knew. Not that I would ever consider fighting him, he was far to terrifying but still annoying.

I swiftly built up a clear ice dome under and around Deidara before he could move, sucking the air out of it slowly. He dropped to the ground, clawing at the ice.

"Stop it!" Tobi cried, I looked at Itachi; he stared at me for a few seconds in which I stared back at him with all the force I could muster. A nod and I paused for a few more seconds and released the dome, melting it instantly into water. Deidara collapsed gasping on the ground; I tried to Port over again, and actually succeeded this time.

"You alright there? Sorry about that." He jumped back onto his feet,

"I knew I'd be alright un. I'm too gifted to die in such an unimaginative way un." He said breezily,

"Did you just call me unimaginative?" If there was one thing I prided myself on, it was my imagination. Flame sprouted on the dead tree again, and a whip of it curled in my hand.

"Maybe un." said Deidara cockily, oh very nice! First they kidnap me and then they insult my imagination! I growled and my Elemental Staff was in my hand and I was high above them all on a platform of rock.

Deidara went fairly easy on me, but the constant flames licking around him inside a huge dome of ice that was slowly being drained of air, except in the bubble around me of course, drove him to concede that my imagination wasn't _totally_ lacking.

I accepted this, but he still punched me.

"What does the stick do?" Sasori asked me after,

"Well, at first it was like a channel for me to concentrate my will through, but now I don't really need it, it's a tool I use to control the elements but I think that anything I can do with it I can do without it at this point. Though it is useful for hitting people with." I explained, shrinking the staff and sticking it in the holster on my back.

"You mentioned that you were taught these skills by ninjas, where were they based, which village?" Pein asked, I shrugged.

"You know I actually have no idea, they kidnapped me out of a helicopter on my way back from being kidnapped by someone else and they never told me where we were."

"What the fuck is with that headband anyway?" Hidan asked, I adjusted it and smiled.

"I made it, I thought it added to the outfit." I said happily.

"Your face is swelling." Itachi commented as he walked off, I noticed this also when I looked down and my cheek was very visible and a nice bright purple.

"No, no don't worry about me I'll be fine." I declared sarcastically as everyone wandered away.

"Tomorrow you will show us how you do that." Pein said, I was wrapping ice in a cloth and didn't answer he left.

"I didn't mean to hit you that hard un." Deidara said, sitting down next to me and watching a bird circle above.

"Well I had just half suffocated you again, I think you were a little distracted. And I'm probably very lucky that you didn't actually break any bones in my face, considering the whole ninja thing." I replied, holding the ice wrapped in a towel to the part of my face that was hurting the most.

"I suppose un. Hey, let me make it up to you un." He said, "I'm bored anyway un." Deidara jumped up and slid his hand into his clay pouch, producing a little clay bird after a short wait.

He set the bird on the ground, and to my surprise it grew to a size slightly smaller than Shadow, Peanut's dragon. Deidara jumped on the bird's back and beckoned to me, "Come on un. Not scared of heights are you un?" I snorted.

"Oh please, I live higher than birds fly. Real ones anyway." I said, jumping up behind him. The bird spread its wings and threw itself into the air I rocked violently and scrabbled at the sides in an attempt not to fall off, Deidara reached back and grabbed my hand to steady me.

"How high do you live un? Where could you…?" He stared at the cloud and castle on my headband.

"Oh yeah that… I said far away didn't I?" I put a hand on Deidara's shoulder to steady myself and stood up, surveying the forest we were flying over, it went on to the horizon and beyond in my eyes. "Wow, this is amazing! How can you not just do this all the time!" I said, feeling a little lightheaded and sitting behind Deidara again.

I scanned the green carpet bellow looking for a sign of the blue box I was sure Ed and The Doctor would have found by now, and inside would undoubtedly be cooking up some harebrained scheme to find me, at least I hoped.

"You look vacant un. What is it, hmmm?"

"Oh just thinking. There were people with me when Pinocchio kidnapped me you know." Deidara grinned at my nickname for Sasori, "Assuming of course that he didn't chop them into little pieces and eat them or something." I said jokingly, but unable to stop a few tears rolling down my face.

I sniffed and flicked them away, "Anyway, look a hawk!" I said loudly, pointing to the raptor riding the air currents a metre or so away. Deidara laughed and jumped to his feet, standing just behind the bird's neck and balancing expertly as we banked steeply sweeping over the hawk.

It shrieked and angled away from us. Deidara laughed maniacally and so did I, the clay bird dived and Deidara crouched down so I could grip onto his shoulders and not slide off.

The flight was invigorating; it made me completely forget about the giant bruise on my face, until Hidan pointed it out again because he's pleasant like that.

"Yeah well… shut up." I said, deflating a little and walking away. Dinner was again like being stuck in the middle of guerrilla warfare and it was exhausting just trying to get some food so eventually I gave up and went to bed.

The next day dawned with a bright shining sun, or at least I assumed it was shining; I couldn't actually see through the lashing rain and the thick dark clouds. Normally today would have been the ideal day for curling up with a book by a nice fire, but apparently pouring rain meant nothing to ninjas because I had just tied my headband on when Pein knocked on my door and walked with me out to the cleared area again.

"Morning everyone!" I said in the most cheerful voice I could muster, "Today I've been asked to tell you exactly what I'm doing when I do this." I tossed a little ball of waterproof flame from one hand to the other. "As you may know, I was taught to do this by ninjas, so I will try and remember as much as I can what they said to me." I took a deep breath and tried to marshal my thoughts and memories.

"To control the Elements one must focus your whole will and soul and mind to bending them, if you cannot do this they will not connect with you, and it won't work. I saw a man who had been trying to light a candle for three years. I threw him a party when he finally did. Anyway, the first thing that I ever did with my elemental power was freeze some water, so that's what I want you to do."

A bowl of water appeared in front of each Akatsuki member, they all sat down and looked intensely at their water.

I watched them for about five seconds before the boredom was too much for me and I wandered away to the edge of the clearing to get out of the rain. Sitting under a tree helped a little, but not much. The drops were fewer, but bigger. I heard the crackle of quickly forming ice and jumped up, Itachi was sitting in front of a small lump of ice, the water appeared to have flowed over the bowl as he froze it.

"Well done you!" I said happily, unfreezing the ice and handing him a twig I had kept dry in my pocket. "Set it on fire," I said, Itachi looked at the stick for a few seconds and it burst into flames, huge tongues of fire that extended high up into the sky. For me, fire was by far the easiest element to control, it was a little different for everyone, but it looked like Itachi had an affinity with fire as well. "Try moving the rain away, don't move the water though, move the air." He did almost exactly as I would have, though with more silent glaring.

"That's enough for today, yes?" Pein said, standing up, I vanished the bowls of water, and we dispersed for the day. I had no idea what most of the Akatsuki members did all day, just what I saw around meal times when most of them were together. The rest of the time they were Jed knows where, likely on missions that would further their cause of world domination.

The rain continued throughout the day, so I sat inside with Deidara and Sasori listening to them argue about art.

"Always you try and pass of those little firework displays of yours as art," Sasori said, "but even you must have learnt by now that true art lasts for all eternity." Deidara shook his head,

"Yeah sure un. Beauty everlasting and all that stuff un. But even _you_ must have figured out by now that life itself is only fleeting and it is that which makes it beautiful un. The beauty in art is that fleeting moment of explosion un." They never seemed to tire of the topic, though I certainly did.

"Has it ever occurred to you that art is subjective and you're both right?" I broke in, they glared me away. "I mean the _art_ of paper folding is hardly explosive, but it's not like paper lasts forever." I threw over my shoulder as I walked away, this seemed to ignite further discussion, though hopefully a new branch at least.

Itachi was sitting by a window looking broodingly out of it and lighting things on fire. I sat down near him and thought around for something to do. Getting an idea I started calling down snippets of electricity from the lightning storm above and weaving them into a chain which I then coated in a thin layer of my favourite kind of non-melting ice.

Setting the chain across my lap I conjured up a blue-hot water resistant flame and swirled some water in with it, pouring this into an ice case also, I set the casing into a gold and ice compound to serve as the backing and attached the chain. The work was fiddly and best done slowly so one didn't set something on fire, and by the time I was done the desired effect had taken place and it was now three hours later than it had been when I sat down. But the day was still far from over. In fact it was only just past lunchtime.

I stood up and stretched, leaving my new piece of jewellery on the chair I had been sitting in and going to the kitchen to grab a pear. Itachi was staring at it with scary interest when I came back, perhaps a more appropriate word would be intense, but on him most things were scary. I picked up the chain and held it out to him, he hesitated scarily for a minute then held out his hand.

"The chain should grow and shrink as you want it to. It usually happens when you make chains this way. In my experience all true Elemental controllers should have some kind of talisman, and you definitely have the makings of a truly powerful force."

While I was speaking I swung my Moon pendant around a little and replaced it around my neck when I was finished. Itachi nodded silently and walked away, and I could have sworn that the next time I saw him I caught a glimpse of a flash of gold and blue around his wrist.

I avoided the dinner table that night, substituting the pear I'd had for lunch as dinner. Deidara and Sasori laid down their argument to band together to stop Hidan from decapitating Tobi. I went to my room earlier than usual feeling a little run down and hoping I wasn't getting sick. I made to crawl into bed but found my way blocked by a small pile of things.

A white clay bird sat perched on top of a cat, they weren't moving so I thought it safe to assume that Deidara hadn't infused them with any explosive chakra and had just made them by hand. Next to the little statues was a bracelet, the chain looked beautiful semi-solid smoke infused with glowing red embers that curled and twisted. Hanging from this was an oval composed of a strange greenish wood backing and what seemed to be magma on the other. Holding it, I could almost feel the heat. I slid it onto my wrist and shrunk it to fit.

Sitting on the bed next to this was a single piece of paper rolled up neatly. I unfurled it and discovered a beautiful ink painting of a castle situated on a swirling cloud. It was the image on my headband zoomed in and made a thousand times more detailed and elegant.

I gathered all of the things into a small pile, making a mental note to thank Deidara and Itachi the next day and keep an eye out for anyone ink painting as I crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep with the rain still pounding on the windows.

It was the same rain that woke me some time late at night, I sat up and noticed the crashing thunder outside my window, and a shadow standing over me.

I jumped up and away from the shadow as fast as I could, which when living in a house of ninjas wasn't very fast at all. The shadow moved forward and grabbed my wrists to prevent further movement, putting a hand over my mouth as well.

"Shush," Ed's voice said, I whimpered a little and hugged him,

"Took you long enough." I whispered into his shoulder.

"Come one, the TARDIS is just outside." Ed grabbed my hand and started pulling my towards the still open window.

"Wait a second let me write a letter and grab a few things." I said, snatching up the clothes I'd been wearing the day I was brought to the hideout, considering them, and leaving them on the bed.

"You want to leave your kidnappers a note?" Ed asked, I shrugged and grabbed the ink painting, Deidara's clay animals, and my headband, wrapping them up along with my ninja clothes in my Akatsuki cloak and pulling my blue coat on over my pyjamas. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

'Well guys, it's been super fun being kidnapped and all but I really have to be going. Pein you'll still be able to control the Elements just ask Itachi, he's got it. Speaking of which, Itachi you scare me; no joke you're terrifying. Keep up the good work on that! Sasuke who? Did you know that an Itachi is a small ferret-like creature? See ya weasel boy!

'Sasori, keep up the emotionless thing you've got going; it works well. Hidan you're one crazy asshole, don't you dare change! Tobi, I love marshmallows! Have some marshmallows!' I set a bag of marshmallows down on the bed and wrote faster, Ed was making hurrying motions with his hands.

'Dei-kun, it was fun definitely. I'll see you again. If you get an invitation to a party with no other explanation, that'll be me! Just wait for the doors! Also, yes what you do _is_ an art, a damn good one that the world would sorely miss, so keep it around! Just walk away from those morons who don't understand! To the Akatsuki as a whole; get a new goal! Ruling the world! With war! BORING! Have some fucking _imagination_ and blow your enemies away, literally or not! Anyway, my ride's here! Bye now!'

I stuck the note on top of my clothes and the bag of marshmallows on the bed and jumped out the window after Ed. I held up a hand and directed the rain away from me so I wouldn't get wet and started walking to the TARDIS which was standing a few metres into the trees.

"Leaving so soon un?" I whirled around, Deidara was leaning against the side of the base, "Without even saying goodbye un?" He pushed off the wall and took a step towards me and Ed, we backed away towards the TARDIS.

"Look, Deidara-" I started but he interrupted.

"Oh well there was obviously nothing I could do, you just vanished from right in front of my eyes before I could take another step!" He said melodramatically, I grinned and ran into the TARDIS with Ed, tossing a wave back over my shoulder.

"Right then! We'll be off! Allons-y! Molto bene!" He yelled pushing buttons and flipping switches on the console.

"Doctor! I know what that button does now!" I yelled back as the TARDIS started jolting about in flight, "It takes you to another world! Totally randomly it seems."

"That's impossible." He replied, still flipping switches.

"So am I. Deal with it alien boy." I said, "But I think that's all the excitement this impossible girl can stand for one TARDIS trip I'm exhausted." The Doctor nodded and pulled out a rubber mallet and whacked the TARDIS console a couple of times. I leant on the railing next to Ed and watched. Ed narrowed his eyes, hesitated, and leapt forward to the console and joined The Doctor.

For the first few seconds The Doctor merely adapted to there being someone else doing things, and then he seemed to realise and he stopped and watched Ed press a few more buttons and twiddle a dial or two.

"What? How did you learn how to do that? No, the one next to it." he corrected; Ed pressed the right button and shrugged.

"Observation, I don't actually understand most of it, but I can help a little bit." he replied, The Doctor jumped back into flying the TARDIS, now explaining a lot of what he was doing, and while it made no more sense to me than Jack's technobabble had Ed seemed to get it.

"He is a genius after all." I said to myself, and wandered away to change out of my pyjamas. When I came out again Ed and the Doctor were still running around the console.

"Doctor…?" I said quietly, he looked over and, seeing the look in my eyes left off pushing buttons, put down his rubber mallet and leant against the console. "I'm not going to London but if you could take me somewhere else, not back to the castle. I heard there was this great little restaurant at the end of the universe, we could go check it out." The Doctor smiled and nodded, beginning his frenzied dance around the console again, Ed just behind him.

**Next time on CCC: We come to the ****beginning of the end, a long time coming if you ask me.**


	52. Owari Part One

**This is it; the Penultimate chapter! WE'RE ALMOST THERE PEOPLE! DON'T PANIC! DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS!**

Sometimes it was hard to believe that anyone could actually be so accident-prone, Ed though as he watched Frog's sleeping face. The weather was turning warm now and the summer attire made it easy to see the bruises littering her skin. Three on her stomach that she attributed to elbowing herself; he reached out and brushed some of her hair out of her face, revealing the light bruise on the side of her forehead she got when she opened a door into her head. Frog stirred and her eyes fluttered open, she smiled up at Ed.

"Good morning Edo-ai, what time is it?" stretching she slid out of bed and as she walked to pull open the curtains Ed noticed a new bruise on the small of her back. He got out of bed and sidled up behind her.

"That one's new what'd you do this time?" he said poking it gently Frog jabbed is hand away and giggled.

"It was yesterday at the Secret Base, Peanut opened a door into Jack and he fell on me, bony guy he is." She said, "Now skedaddle you, I want to get dressed." She shoved him gently out of the room. Behind the closed door Frog winced and craned her neck to see the bruise, not too big this time.

For breakfast Claire had prepared yet another one of her spectacular fruit salads that somehow managed to contain exactly the fruit one wanted at the time. Over breakfast Ed received an important and interesting Alchemy book from Mustang in Central. Frog nodded as he leafed through it, talking about its contents.

"I have no idea what you're saying Edo-pipi, but you look so darn cute doing it that I can't bear to do anything but listen." She said, popping a piece of apple into her mouth. Ed was still attempting to read his book after breakfast, but that wouldn't do.

You can read any old time Edo-nin, I'm bored! Nothing's _happened_ since the Doctor dropped us off here again, I mean I _was_ tired then but I would have gone with him if I knew how boring this would be! And Oryx and Al _still _haven't gotten back from their tour of Europe."

_Somewhere in Europe_

"Did you think you could fool me with your smoke and mirrors!" Oryx said to the man she was holding down with her foot, shaking a small black bag full of diamonds as she spoke. "I deduced right away that you were the thief; no one else would have the world's largest gold nugget sitting on their coffee table!" she declared as a thin weedy man scuttled into the room.

"Ah, Inspector!" Al yelled, adjusting his monocle, "We'll just hand these chaps over to you then! Good day sir!" They swept away onto the streets of the city without a backwards glance.

Yes…

"Well what would you like to do then? We haven't been to see Soaring Leap and the wolf pack in ages. We could go for a walk?" Ed suggested,

"An excellent idea Edo-tan!" The Forest was cooler than the rest of the grounds, the thick canopy of leaves protecting it from the sun. Frog danced ahead of him on the path, nattering about something or other. "Edo-rin! Look at these! They're purple! I wonder if they taste purple too…"

As it turned out purple mushrooms do not taste like purple according to Frog they tasted of moss green and yellow and she decided to go back to the castle and find some clothes not covered in the same green-purple mushrooms and get some water to wash the taste out of her mouth. Ed went back to his book, but set it down on the table next to him when Frog reappeared now in a tank top and shorts that were notably free of any purple and sat on him.

"Hello again Edo-dai how're you doing? How's that Alchemy thing of yours?" Ed grinned and started talking about his new book again, Frog giggled to herself and snuggled her head into Ed's chest, curling her legs up into the chair as well. She stared off slightly vacantly into the distance until he stopped talking, "What? I was listening!"

"What did I just say?"

"Oh, um… uh… Okay so I wasn't listening to what you were actually saying, I was listening to you say it." She shrugged, settling back down in his lap and resting her head on his shoulder.

"You're weird." Ed said,

"Yeah, but you love me anyway." Frog replied winking, he leant down and kissed her. She linked her arms around his neck and sucked gently on his neck, Ed pushed the hem of her shirt up slightly and Frog shivered. She pulled his shirt off and ran her mouth along his neck down to the point where a bolt ran under his collarbone from his Automail. She paused at the metal and the scars there and then cautiously slid her tongue out of her mouth and ran it around the bolt.

Ed gasped and shifted his hips under her, she moved her head down further, to just above where his ribs ended and ran her tongue up the side of the port where metal met skin. Frog nipped the little the hollow just above his collarbone and toyed with the lobe of his ear with her tongue, sucking it gently.

Ed smirked and pushed her shirt up some more, and eventually just taking it off altogether, he swirled his tongue in circles on the skin of her neck and traced more with his fingers on the inside of her thighs. Frog gasped and twined a hand in his hair sliding the other one down his stomach and tugging at the button of his pants, Ed raked his tongue along the roof of her mouth and hooked his fingers in the belt loops of her shorts.

Frog pulled her hands out of his hair and started working his pants down over his hips, Ed moved into the movement, and then froze and pulled back Frog followed him but he grabbed her wrists,

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to distract you." Ed smirked, Frog sighed and leant against him again, Ed picked up his book again. Frog fell asleep as they were sitting there so Ed Ported them both upstairs and put her to bed, she didn't stir even when Ed slid his arms around her waist, nuzzling his nose into her hair. For all her craziness he loved her so.

Ed woke up with the sun creeping in through a gap in the curtains and Hayashi tickling his with his tail. He shook the cat of, and then noticed the weight on his chest. Frog was lying mostly on top of him with her head pillowed just above his heart, her legs were wrapped firmly around his Automail one, and his metal arm was curled a few centimetres from her face. Ed watched her sleep for a while and then he noticed it.

A good sized bruise on her shoulder surrounded by a few smaller ones, one on the front and a few more spread around. Ed frowned worriedly and made a mental note to ask about it later, he lay there comfortably for a little while longer until he got to hungry and was forced to rise, dress and go in search of breakfast.

Frog woke up and rubbed the last vestiges of sleep from her eyes, noting that Ed wasn't there she stumbled out of bed and pulled open the curtains. Frog began rifling through her cupboard for something to wear. I feel like something summery, she thought just before she stretched a little too far and, wincing, discovered the bruise on her shoulder. Alright then something summery with sleeves. Ooh, that one has _strawberries_!

Ed looked up from his toast as Frog bounced into the kitchen embodying the bright sunny weather in her light white strawberry-patterned dress with red slivers of material at the shoulders.

"Good morning Edo-nana! How are you?" she said exuberantly, sitting down at the table, Ed smiled back though noting as he did how pale and tired she looked. Nothing else seemed to be wrong however as she nattered on as usual over her toast and jam until Ed frowned and reaching over poked her jaw gently. Frog winced slightly and then smiled at him again.

"Oh that, some of the trees in The Forest yesterday seemed to be in a bad mood, they were quite rude in fact Edo-kon." She smiled, Ed just reached out again and pushed away the material covering her shoulder revealing the bruise that he had noticed earlier.

"So is that where you got this one too then?" she shrugged and brushed his hand away.

"Probably, you know those pesky trees Edo-po, so unfeeling-"

"I don't believe you," he interrupted, "something else is going on here and I wish you would tell me what it was"

"Nothing to worry about Edo-mao," she assured him, smiling warmly. They passed most of the day reading during which Ed got to finish the Alchemy text from Mustang, until Ed dragged Frog outside for a walk around the sculpture garden she was looking too pale.

The warm summer weather persisted and Frog changed into her pyjamas early but hung around downstairs for a little bit to get a drink of water. Ed met her on her way out of the kitchen and caught her arm.

"So I suppose I'm not allowed to worry about this either?" he asked, pushing up the hem of her shirt a little ways to reveal a long straight bruise lying just above the end of her ribcage.

"Right you are Edo-gogu, no worrying on your part is required!" she said cheerfully trying to walk away but Ed held fast onto her wrist.

"Are there any more I haven't seen?" Frog looked down at the ground,

"Maybe…"

"Show me, please?" she sighed,

"I'm going to regret this aren't I?" She muttered and then pulled up the hem of her shorts. The bruise Ed saw wasn't just on the inside of her thigh it _was_ the inside of her thigh, the same shade of purple as a very ripe eggplant and much bigger. "I've been to see our favourite healer and he says if I keep applying his cream it'll be gone in two days. Nothing to worry about Edo-lilly-pilly." Frog said, smoothing the cloth down over her leg and marching off to bed.

_It was dark and Ed couldn't move or see. He tried to move his arms, did he even have arms? Ed tried desperately to open his eyes or where they open? Did he even have eyes? He must have because a figure was moving toward him through the darkness, a figure with kind green eyes and soft brown hair. Mother? She smiled sadly, shook her head and melted into a pile of smouldering black remains. A room materialised around him, the walls and floor smeared with blood. _

Ed gasped in a desperate breath and curled into a small shivering ball. As much as he tried to beat the images away they continued to flood his mind.

"Shush Ed it's okay it was just a nightmare you're awake now." Frog's voice said in his ear. Ed's eyes snapped open and caught a glimpse of her before they shut again as that day washed over him in dark waves and he curled deeper into himself, his shoulders shaking with emotion. Frog moved closer to him, "It's alright, it was just a dream it can't hurt you," she murmured,

Ed took a few deep shuddering breaths and opened his eyes and I was then that he noticed exactly how Frog was holding him. Her legs were firmly secured around his metal one, and his arm was clasped to her chest in both of hers.

Something wet dropped onto Ed's cheek and he looked up at Frog who released her grip on him and covered her cheek with one hand.

"Sorry," she said, "don't worry about it." she said firmly, Ed pulled her hand away and leant in closer to see, just bellow her cheekbone a bruise was blossoming around a short deep cut that was oozing blood. Frog dabbed at the blood with a tissue and Ed stared in confusion until something clicked inside his head. He reached out towards her again but this time he took hold of her shoulder. Ed turned his hand until it matched the shape of the bruise and lined his metal fingers up with the smaller ones, it fit perfectly.

His mind was still whirring away and Ed made another couple of connections, the bruise that was her thigh undoubtedly came from hanging onto his leg so tightly, and the one across her ribs… He reached out and wrapped his other arm around her, the length of his forearm and the bruise matched exactly.

"What the heck is going on?" Ed growled, Frog bit her lip, Hayashi jumped up into her lap and she stroked him on the head.

"Yashi woke me up the first time, it was… two weeks ago? Somewhere like that. It was scary then, you looked so scared and in pain and thrashing around a lot and I didn't want you to hurt yourself. You've never woken up before though." Frog yawned and pulled Ed back into a vertical position, pillowing her head on his stomach, "I'm beat." She declared, closing her eyes.

"But I hurt you," Ed said quietly, "what about that?" Frog raised herself up again and pointed at the bruises on her shoulder and ribs.

"You figured out where they came from already, I don't know why but for some reason you wouldn't let go." she shrugged and turned her arm upwards so he could see the small cut there, "I got my skin caught in a finger joint a couple nights ago when I stopped you taking out the lamp." Ed reached out and gently touched the cut on her cheek, Frog went quiet and then sighed.

"I was tired tonight, that's all, normally it wouldn't have gotten away from me…" thoughts clicked inside Ed's head and he brought his right hand close to his face, his index finger was smeared with blood, as was the joint just under the beginning of his finger. Ed balled his hand into a first; Frog pulled out a tissue and wiped away the blood, continuing her rant.

"You didn't let me finish! As I was saying, the bruises don't matter because you're hurting and I would give anything to make that better, because I love you. You haven't seen yourself, it's scary." Ed hugged her close.

"I'm sorry,"

"But what's scarier is the thought of leaving you alone and then you get hurt because I'm not here. That I couldn't stand."

"But if you'd just told me-"

"You would do what I've been trying to warn you off doing and worry. Worry doesn't help settle a troubled mind. You wouldn't have let me help."

"But if you're getting hurt because of me-" Frog silenced him by pressing her mouth to his and running her hand through his hair.

"Go back to sleep, I'm just going to pop down and see our favourite healer quickly." She said, Porting out of the room.

Ed lay back, the nightmare had faded now but his mind was still whirring. She'd stayed with him, not letting him get hurt, but getting hurt for him. He had meant to stay awake but sleep dragged him back down. Frog Ported back into the room a few minutes later and curled herself into the shape of his warm body and drifted off to sleep.

Hysteria

_Ed watched helplessly as Al was dragged towards the gaping black gate entrance, already half devoured by their great science. He was reaching out to Ed desperately, calling his name and pleading for help, but Ed could do nothing only watch as his brother disappeared. He watched in heart breaking stillness and silence, as the gate swung slowly closed and suddenly he was alone in that blood-soaked room once more only now flames were licking at the walls. Ed tried to move, to get away but the flames merely engulfed his arm and leg, melting the flesh and charring his bones. _

Ed sat bolt upright almost sending Frog flying. If she had been sleeping normally he definitely would have but she wasn't, she was awake and clinging determinedly to him. When she saw that he was awake she released her grip of his limbs and sat just next to him.

Ed raised his Automail leg and wrapped his arms around it, shoulders shaking. The fire raged on in his fake limbs, it was as if someone was pouring liquid fire over the ports and into the mechanisms. Frog leant over and wrapped her arms around his middle and Ed let out a chocked sob.

Frog released her hold on him briefly and reached out and tentatively touched the skin around the port on his leg. Her fingers were like ice dimming the flames and Ed let out a hissing breath. Frog, not knowing if that was good or bad pulled away. Ed moaned and doubled over panting heavily, when a tear squeezed out of his tightly shut eyes Frog seemed to make a decision.

She leant forward and pressed her cool fingers against the fiery scarred skin again. Compared to the fire eating away at him she was like fresh melted snow from a mountain spring, Ed gasped and his body rocked backwards, head touching the mattress. Frog conjured cool water that flowed over his burning skin, cooling the flames that threatened to overcome him. The flames in Ed's leg were shrinking and Frog swirled the water around it once more and then pulled it off his skin and moved her hands to his arm, which was raging like a forest fire until he felt her cool fingers over the skin.

Like it had been starved of oxygen the fire consuming him flickered and died, fading into the painful but infinitely more bearable ache of a bad day. Ed fell backwards and lay with his eyes closed, breathing fast and hard.

Frog levered herself above him and hung over him for a minute, she lay her body over his, her legs on either side of his hips, and invaded his mouth with her tongue. Her hands wandered up his shirt and over his stomach and chest. Ed arched his back as she nibbled along his collarbone. If she was trying to distract him it was working. Suddenly Frog pulled back and pressed her mouth to the scarred skin around his Automail port and slid her tongue out of her mouth and brushed it against his skin. The heat that spread over his skin was entirely different from the one that had just been. Frog kissed him one last time and snuggled into his side, his arm around her waist.

"Good night," she said sleepily, Ed kissed her forehead in reply.

**Next time on CCC: Owari Part Two**


	53. Owari Part Two

**Here, we are; the very end, my thanks come after the ending; so let's just move straight into it!**

They sound like spit

Ed woke up for the third time that week, shaking all over from a cocktail of all his worst nightmares combined and multiplied. As usual Frog was holding him tightly, but this time when he awoke she didn't let go, her face was buried on his chest and Ed didn't realise why she hadn't moved until something hot and wet landed on his skin. He wrapped his arms around her tightly; her frame shook as she sobbed.

"What is it, what's wrong?" Ed asked quietly,

"I'm sorry, I wasn't here. I was in the kitchen and I heard… I heard… you scream..." Ed's arms tightened convulsively around her, she drew in a deep breath and hugged him tighter, "I was just so scared, you looked so terrified and pained." He stroked her hair and murmured soothingly into her ear,

"It's alright, I'm okay and so are you, just breathe slowly that's it." She took a few deep calming breaths and nodded.

The rest of the night was peaceful but Frog looked exhausted in the morning, pale and far too frail. She ignored his plea for her to not get up and said she planned to sleep after lunch, as it was she actually slept through lunch. Laid out on a deck chair in the sun on her favourite balcony in a pale green sundress, a book resting on her lap. She found Ed reading in the library after she woke up, looking refreshed but still too pale.

"Well that was rejuvenating to say the least!" she declared happily, Ed grinned and pulled her down onto his lap, she laughed and he wound his arms around her waist. They stayed in that position until dinner, during which Frog fell asleep. Ed asked the Minions to get her to bed and went out for a walk by the Sun Moon Lake. He mooched around by the shore, throwing rocks into the water and thinking. Frog, she was so tired but she refused to leave him alone with his nightmares, and worst of all he didn't want her to.

Ed walked back through the castle to the room where Frog was sleeping, he hesitated, but she must have been woken up by the sound of his entering and sat up. She got out of bed, made him change out of his clothes and pulled him back under the covers with her, sighing contentedly she pressed herself against him and they drifted to sleep.

That night the dream was a little too violent for Frog to handle and Ed unconsciously hit her across the jaw. He found this out in the morning when he finally woke up and saw the bruise. Due to the treatment of their favourite medic-Minion the bruise would likely disappear within two or three days but Ed couldn't bring himself to look at her even after it had faded, the memory and the knowledge of having done it was still there.

Because of this he avoided her in the library, and she spent a lot of the day sleeping anyway, but no matter what she wouldn't let him sleep alone. He didn't wake up any more during the night but the shadows under her eyes and the fresh bruises told him everything he needed to know.

Ed leant his head on the desk, sighing in frustration. So far none of these books had yielded any information that would be remotely helpful. Ed had thrown himself into researching a way to regain his limbs, he was getting desperate and had long ago started branching out into any discipline that looked like it might have anything useful, and still he had turned up nothing. He stood up from the table and stretched, deciding that a walk would clear his head he headed for the door.

Ed skipped a stone across the dark glassy surface of the lake; it bounced a few times and sank into the water. Ed lay down on the grass and stared up at the heavens, the stars twinkled there a great expanse of silver in the inky black night. He heard a small noise coming from the castle behind him and stood up turning to look, Frog was half hanging out the window waving for him to come up. He shook his head and she crossed her arms vanishing and reappearing just next to him a few seconds later.

A cool breeze brushed past them and Frog shivered in her light nightdress Ed pulled his jacket off and draped it around her.

"So Edo-ro what're out doing out here all alone looking up at the sky?" she questioned fingering the jacket sleeve hem, Ed shrugged,

"Taking a walk." he answered, she grinned and put her hand in his.

"I'll join you then." They walked out past the lake over the grassy hills, away from The Forest and out towards the fields of flowers she had planted with the Minions before The Doctor came. The wandered through a field of bluebells and Frog stopped every now and then to smell them.

"Aren't they pretty though Edo-de?" She said happily brushing her hands over the tops of the knee-high flowers Ed couldn't help but grin. He reached out with his Automail hand to touch a flower and realised he wouldn't be able to feel it. He frowned deeply and Frog look sadly at him then snapped a stem and handed it to him. Ed brushed his flesh hand over the silky soft petals and Frog smiled. They wandered out of the bluebells onto hills covered in swathes of Daffodils. Frog sighed happily and lay down in the flowers,

"The sky is so gorgeous here; you never saw the stars like this back home." Ed pricked up his ears, turning to look at her. Whether or not she'd meant to Frog had always been pretty mysterious about her past, making it more her business to know everyone else's. Ed stayed quiet hoping she'd say more, "I remember once we went out into the bush, and you could see so many stars, but even that doesn't compare to this." Ed smiled remembering all the times he and Al had stayed awake late into the night looking up at the stars.

The full moon drifted out from behind a wispy cloud and bathed the fields in silvery light; Frog's skin glowed as she murmured something about watching the stars one night with Ail.

"Who's Ail again?" Ed asked curiously, she sounded familiar but he couldn't quite remember.

"A friend from home, we went to the same school and stuff. She always travelled around during breaks and sometimes in school time too. It was so like her to find that pocket watch in a street market; she always came back with the weirdest most awesome stuff."

Suddenly Ed groaned as pain flared up in his Automail and his arm jerked violently, Frog reached out and slipped her hand into his flesh one and squeezing it tight.

"It's nothing just a little nerve-" he broke off groaning in pain, Frog reached over and closed his eyes by passing her hand over them, she pressed her forehead to his.

"I'm sorry for being so weak, you always said it was your burden and up to you, and I tried. But I just _can't_ bear it anymore!" she whispered,

Ed opened his mouth to ask her what she was talking about but suddenly his body was enveloped in strange pressing tentacles of heat that warmed him to the core while at the same time stretching his skin uncomfortably though not painfully. The pain came in the form of needles driven deep into his skin all over his body, Ed gasped and Frog gripped his hand tightly.

Suddenly the pain vanished as did Frog, Ed opened his eyes and stared up at the stars above him.

"What…?" Ed's whole body was aching a little, all of it. _Both_ arms and _both_ legs. Ed sat up overbalanced and almost fell over, Frog's arms circled around his waist from behind and steadied him against her.

"It's okay. Just wait a second you have to get used to-" Ed lunged to his feet, he stood and felt the grass under his toes all ten of them. He took a precarious step forward and it was then that he fell over backwards.

"What did you do?" he asked quietly holding his arms up above him and staring at them. Pale pinkish skin covered his right hand contrasting with the slightly more tanned skin of his left.

"It wasn't difficult," Frog said quietly, "the only hard part was that since I didn't actually know where your limbs were I had to call them, but it was almost like they wanted to come back to you, parts of a whole don't like to be separated." She sniffed and rubbed a hand across her eyes but the tears kept coming, "I'm sorry Ed, I just couldn't stand it anymore. It's all too hard on you and I just couldn't bear it!" Ed sat up and pulled her close to him, "I'm sorry." she repeated.

"Don't be! Don't you ever feel sorry for this." He said fiercely, pressing his mouth to hers. Both of his hands twined in her hair feeling the soft strands between all ten of his beautifully human fingers. Frog lined her body up with his and pushed her hands under his shirt massaging the skin of his stomach with her fingertips and entwining her tongue with his. Heat blossomed from every point where their skin met as the moonlight shone down clear and pale.

They rolled over in the flowers, Ed lowered his body on top of her and pressed closer to her warmth, Frog responded by sucking gently on his earlobe and nibbling lightly at the skin just under his jaw. She slipped his jacket off her shoulders and pulled his shirt up over his head. Ed slid a wonderfully flesh and bone hand up her thigh, Frog pressed closer to him and twined her arms around his neck. Ed pulled her nightdress up over her head and she pushed his pants down over his hips and he pulled his legs out of them and she wrapped hers around his hips.

She trailed kisses slowly down his chest and stomach, swirling her tongue on his skin and dipping it into his navel. Ed trailed his fingers from the base of her spine to her neck, burying his fingers in her hair. Ed pulled back and Frog looked up at him from the flowers, he hesitated and she rose to meet him, pressing her mouth against his and they slowly sank back into the soft petals.

The sun seared at Ed's eyelids as it rose. He pried them open and watched as it cleared the hill in the distance that was lined with bright daffodils. He looked down and rested his head on Frog's and pulled his arms a little tighter around her. She shifted under the coat he'd thrown over both of them and her eyes fluttered open. Ed smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Good morning Ed," she said softly Ed leant over and kissed her in reply.

"I love you." he said quietly Frog smiled up at him again.

"And I you, Edo-ki, more than I've ever realised before." A butterfly fluttered over and landed on her hand, she giggled and sat up turning her head to watch it flutter away into the rising sun. Ed smile and sat up behind her, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her close. Frog rested her head on his shoulder and they sat watching the sun rise high into the sky above them. As usual when there was silence or peace; Ed's phone rang.

He ran his hands over his jacket searching for the right pocket, until Frog found it first and pulled it out.

"Hello?" a pause, "No I'm not busy. Sorry I left it under Hayashi I think. Because I thought it looked cold and he's a very warm cat. Yeah we can make it by one today. See you then." She snapped the phone shut and handed it back to Ed. A flick of her hand and she was dressed and standing up, throwing his jacket over his head with a giggle.

"Who was that? What are we making by one?" he asked reaching behind him for his other clothes.

"We, Edo-li are going to a party. But not just any party," she added at the look on Ed's face, "no, this party is an invite only party in the centre of the Sohma Estate."

"But how did we get invites?" Ed asked, almost expecting the answer that followed.

"We didn't of course, what Sohma in their right minds would do that? But Peanut heard about it from Momiji, bless the little rabbit, so she called up and we're tagging along with them!" Ed sighed and stood up, he had a feeling that this wasn't going to be anywhere near as easy as she had just made it out to be. Frog grabbed his hand and started pulling him through the flowers.

"Come on Edo-gan! You can put your shoes on later! I have to find the Minions and tell them what's going on and get Al and Oryx and then get ready and find something to bring to the party because of course we have to do that and-" she rambled on, her sentence getting longer and longer and close to breaking some kind of world record Ed was sure.

"You know we can just Port don't you?"

"Oh, right. Hang on!" she Ported them to the entrance hall of the castle and then straight on upstairs to their room. Upon arrival she began rooting through their clothing,

"It _is_ a Sohma party after all we can't wear just anything. Ooh, try these!" she began throwing various items of clothing over her shoulder at him Ed caught them and slipped out of the room to the bathroom to change, leaving Frog to her frenzy. When he was dressed he slipped equally as quietly out of the castle to Oryx and Al's castle; he wanted to see his brother. He started walking across the grass covered cloud in the direction of the castle and he jumped about a metre in the air when Frog appeared loudly next to him.

"Well hello there Ed! Where're you slipping off to, all sneaky like!" she asked loudly,

"I'm going to see Al," Ed replied,

"Oh, do you want me to not come because I can go home…?" he shook his head,

"No, I want you to come." He replied Frog smiled and latched onto his arm as they walked across the grass. Something flashed and Ed looked over at the bracelet hung on her wrist, a small oval of mossy green wood filled with something bright red and liquid. It was in noticing the jewellery that Ed's attention was drawn to the clothes she was wearing with it. A short black skirt with a black tank top and her Akatsuki cloak with its red clouds, her silver headband was clutched in one hand and she tied it on as they walked across the grass.

Al reacted in almost exactly the way Ed had predicted staring at him in shock for a few moments and then hugging him so hard he was in danger of breaking his ribs. He looked over his brother's shoulder returning his hug and caught Frog's eye and grinned. She smiled back from under her silver headband and nodded at Oryx, who Summoned Peanut and Kyo.

"Hey there Peanut, Kyo! Are you ready to party!" Oryx greeted them loudly, Ed released Al and they all grouped around Peanut as she opened a Portal and they all stepped through.

They were in a forest, and it looked familiar. Frog stared around suspiciously,

"Are you sure we're in the right place?" she asked Peanut,

"Of course she's sure, idiot!" Kyo retorted angrily Frog stuck out her tongue at him,

"Sorry, it's just that it looks a lot like this other forest I was in that was full of ninjas and- wait what was that?" she broke off and whirled around in circles Ed had heard it too; the small crack of a tree branch far above them in the otherwise silent forest. Frog squinted up into the tree, and then her face broke into a huge smile and she jumped straight up into the branches with a level of dexterity that no one, including her, had ever thought she possessed. Those on the ground stared at the tree for a few seconds, until Frog yelled in surprise and fell out of the tree, followed shortly after by another figure in a black cloak covered in red clouds.

The figure and Frog both picked themselves up off of the ground and she threw her arms around them,

"Sasori-danna! How are you Pinocchio!"

"I hate hugs, and I hate that name too." The figure, Sasori, said quietly in a voice that made even Kyo want to curl up in a small ball somewhere and hope he wasn't noticed,

"I know!" Frog replied cheerfully, "That's why I'm hugging you and calling you that! So, what're you doing here! And how the hell did I hear you anyway, you're an Akatsuki ninja!"

"It was a bird." Sasori replied shortly.

"Oh, well anyway; we're going to a party! You must come!" She grabbed his shoulders and turned him around, "Everybody; this is Sasori of the Akatsuki, one of those guys who kidnapped me a while ago." She said gesturing at Sasori as if he was some grand prize she was revealing. "He can come too right?" she asked Kyo with a pleading look, the Cat Zodiac sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I don't know…"

"It'll really annoy Yuki…" Frog wheedled Kyo immediately perked up,

"Oh hell yeah! Bring him along!"

"I'm afraid that will not be possible." Sasori broke in, Frog turned around looking confused, Ed stepped forward and stood next to her. "You see, Leader-sama was not pleased when you disappeared like that, he felt that your work was not done. Itachi sensed your presence just now when you appeared and I was sent to get you." Frog sighed and pulled out a small piece of paper,

"I was really hoping I wouldn't have to do this, sorry Sasori-danna." She said, unfolding the paper and beginning to read it, "Hidan by Shikamaru, curse that lazy deer. Kakuzu by Hidan, Naruto and Kakashi. Pein by… well himself but I blame Naruto. Konan by… I'll not say, but you know him quite well…"

"What is that?" Sasori asked quietly, Frog shook her head,

"Itachi by… Sasuke and… sort of himself and sort of his Uchiha-ness. Kisame by himself…" she started crying softly, Ed wrapped his arms around her, Sasori's eyes widened by the smallest amount and he took a step closer.

"What is that?" he said softly and dangerously,

"Dei… Deidara by… himself and Sasuke… Stupid idiot hasn't played Pokémon, and obviously hasn't done basic physics."

"What is it!"

"And…Sasori-danna… Chiyo, Sakura, and your parents…" Sasori froze,

"No." he said quietly, Frog pointed at him, and a shadow streaked out of the trees and pinned Sasori to a nearby trunk. He was bound to it tightly and swiftly with ropes and chains.

"It will happen, if you don't listen to me right now." Frog said intensely standing in front of Sasori and looking straight into his eyes, Hamael, who had been the shadow stood next to the puppet boy looking threatening, or as much as one can when standing in front of a unicorn. "Did you do what I said, have you changed your plans?" Sasori shook his head Frog growled in frustration,

"Well do it! Go hunt bunny rabbits or something, I don't care just give up on your course of action! Like I said, destroy the world, crush it burn it, don't rule it! In fact, you don't have to do that either! Save it from itself and others, do whatever you want, just don't forget what I'm saying!" She finished her sentence and walked away through the trees. Ed, Peanut, Kyo, Oryx, and Al all followed after her as Hamael faded back into the trees leaving Sasori tied to the tree.

"What _was_ that anyway?" Peanut asked Frog as they walked along in the direction of the party,

"The Akatsuki members who will die if they keep up that quest, and the people who kill them." Frog said, crumpling the sheet of paper tightly in her hand as she spoke.

"What do you think Sasori will do now?" Ed asked her, she shrugged.

"Hopefully once he gets out of the ropes he won't track us down and kill us, and he'll go back to the Akatsuki and talk to Pein about changing their plans. Hey, is that the party I hear up ahead? Come my comrades!" she dragged them all of towards the distance sound of music and voices which as it turned out was indeed the Sohma party. They managed to get in due to the fact that they were with Kyo, since for once he was invited to the party.

"I don't remember telling you that you could bring anyone along." Yuki said from behind Kyo, who jumped a good three metres into the air and landed again, metaphoric fur bristling.

"Shut up, mouse boy!" he hissed, Peanut laughed and slapped him on the back,

"That's the spirit!" She crowed, leading them off into the trees. After all of the commotion, Frog said she didn't was too tired to feel like going to the party so she Ported back to the castle. Ed followed her and spent quite a lot of time trying to find her he eventually did outside on a veranda on which Frog was sprawled on her back gazing up at the stars.

"I just keep thinking about Sasori and what he must be feeling. I just revealed not just his fate but the fates of those around him; I only hope what I did will actually lead to a change."

"But can it even be changed? Won't the characters doing something different change the story?" Ed asked, sitting down next to Frog who shook her head and sat up.

"You'd think so, I certainly did for a while, but there's actually a great deal of flexibility when it comes to these things. Changing the world inside the story doesn't actually change the printed book or manga, changing that from the inside is much, much harder. The world can be quite different from the story without showing it on the surface, Lord Voldemort actually wins and takes over and kills everyone, Fire Lord Ozai takes up driftwood carving and moves to California. But without changes the story runs on even with all of that going on under the surface; Harry wins, there's no driftwood carving, and the Akatsuki meet their fates." Enjoying being able to lecture Ed on something for once, Frog ploughed on,

"Of course most of the time the changes come from the outside, but they can come from the inside, characters or the creator or even fans. Once in a blue moon you fond a story whose internal world never followed the plot to begin with, it was so full of life and creation that it spun off on its own as soon as it was made." She stopped talking and Ed wrapped his arm around her waist, she leant against him and they both stared up at the twinkling lights above them, Ed sighed

"You strange girl with your odd knowledge and powers, who are you?" Ed said mostly to himself,

"Just what I've always been and always will be." Frog replied, pressing her hand to his temple and filling his head with the melody that was her heart and soul, and pressing her mouth lingeringly to his. "Utterly mad, and completely in love with you."

**Owari**

**I can hardly believe that it's finally over! I don't know wether to throw a huge party or cry for hours! Who cares! I'm FREE! I can do other things! YAY! Not that I haven't been, but this fanfic has been the main source of my writing for a year and a half and was one of the first major productions I ever took up. So this is a big thing for me. As such I would like to thank some of the people who have made this such an awesome experience; **

**My bestest friend Oryx (Polyphony) for inspiring the whole thing in the first place, **

**Peanut, (destinedtofly) for listening to my rants and giving me plot points and motivation.**

**Hiromu Arakawa for creating the series of Fullmetal Alchemist in the first place; I'd be nowhere without that. **

**The countless song artists whose music has propelled me through the long days of typing.**

9


	54. Awkward Guy

**Alright his is the extra chapter which I promised one person a **_**long**_** time ago! The theme you will likely notice running through them is something I am debuting now, that I am planning on bringing into my other works; brought to you by my good friend Shika!**

**Our first section comes from… early on… chapter… hang on… Chapter two! Enjoy!**

I smiled and went downstairs to see what Ed was doing. He was sitting at the table, staring at a glass of milk. I walked up to him.

"Ed, why are you staring at that glass of milk?" I asked.

"It's taunting me," He answered without looking up. I grabbed the milk and drank it.

"Not anymore." I said as I put the glass down, Ed looked at me as if I had the plague. "What?" I asked.

"You just…" he trailed off.

"Drank milk." I finished, he just stared, there was a silence, it stretched on and on, and as was the wont of silences that stretched; became awkward. A small wave of awkwardness-like a beacon-spread out from the room. A boy poked his head into the room, looked over his Aviators; and screamed;

"Awkward Silence!" and departed. I stared after him in as much shock as Ed had at my bovine secretion digestion.

**Well wasn't that fun! Our next scene is an original that was pulled from an archive of things I considered for CCC. It may surprise you to know this, if there is anyone there at all, but I actually had a small think about some of the scenes in this story before putting them in. Only a small think though. –Wink-**

"Come on places people!" I yelled into an old fashioned conical megaphone. "This movie isn't going to make itself!" Minions scrambled about on a set designed to be a normal house. Sticking up paintings or straightening chairs here and there. "And bring me some turkey!" Al walked up to me at that moment and prodded my arm.

"Why are we making a movie? What kind of movie is it? Why am I dressed as a priest?" He shot at me, fiddling with his collar.

"Well Al, we're making a movie because I'm bored. It's a movie kind of movie, with evil Unicorns. And you're dressed like a priest because it amuses me and I couldn't find anything else for a costume at the time. You're actually playing the older brother of our heroine; Ruby. Ruby is out walking one day and the evil and dark unicorns of darkness led by their evil overlord, me, come and kidnap her. You, her loyal brother, set out on a quest to save her. You meet Ed; a horse trainer with annoying friends and he vows to help you on your quest for no reason at all." Al nodded every few seconds as I continued to explain the plot of the story to him.

"So then you set out to find Ruby, but she's already defeated me because she has a brain of her own and she meets up with you a few towns over, riding a motorcycle she stole. And that's the end."

"That's ridiculous!" I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned and saw Ed glowering at me. "You think you can make that? It'll never work; movies need more planning than your slapdash attempts."

"Of course I can do it, I have you guys to help me!" I said brightly. "Now let's get back to work!"

Of course Ed, as he constantly had to be, was correct about the outcome of the filming. We had no script, so no one knew where they were going or what they were doing. The camera people had no idea who they were shooting or when to stop or start so we had whole hours of bloopers. I was watching some when I had an idea. I ran into the set of the unicorn's forest.

"Scratch the plot idea! This movie is now a free for all!" Everyone froze in the middle of a scene that was once about the tragic death of the heroine's pet gerbil but seemed to have become about Ed's love affair with Mustang, who I had never cast.

"Awkward Scene…" A stagehand with a floppy grey hat and large sunglasses said before running away hurriedly.

"Wait, you mean it wasn't already?" Oryx said from under her immense feather laden headdress. I shook my head, and there was chaos on the set; half of the Minions left, the other half suddenly started shouting incomprehensibly and running to and fro with maps and charts and one or two typewriters.

George; my favourite Minion ever, walked up to me half an hour later as I sat playing what I estimated to be the worst game of ping pong ever from an arm chair about three metres from the table and handed my a manuscript about the thickness of a laptop.

"What's this?" I asked curiously, George grinned,

"The script for your movie. You see, someone's been writing down everything that's happened here over the last few months and we found that there was enough there to make a credible movie, if we pump enough budget into the special effect of course, no one will even care about the plot."

"George you genius! Of course! What was I thinking! All we have to do is inject enough eye-candy and we'll be fine!" We stood and rushed off to make the movie of a lifetime.

**Well, that was a lot of fun; I'm probably going to be dipping into my melting pot of old ideas a lot in this; be warned. But next I present to you my dear readers; the Talent Pop commercial!**

-Pan in on woman standing in her kitchen with a bunch of friends, they're having a dinner party, it is dull and boring, suddenly her face brightens! She picks up a box of Talent Pops.-

"Talent Pop anyone?" –She says the guests look delighted and each take one, eating them happily-

"Mine tastes like Singing!" –A man in a suit sings in a high falsetto.-

"Mine tastes like Dancing!" –A woman in a leotard says while pirouetting.-

"Well mine tastes like…Being…Stupid…"

"Wait cut!" A scream rings out from the sidelines and the actors and actresses all stop and stare in exasperation at the offending person.

"Well it does!" The boy protests holding up his leather gloved hands in protest and suddenly throwing his actually plasticine Talent Pop to the ground;

"You know what; I'm sick of this job! It's one of the most idiotic things I've ever worked on! I quit!" He screamed, storming out of the studio. The door he slammed through opened again after a second or so, but it closed again slowly, the wind from outside had caught the latch again.

"Awkward No-one-Coming-Through-The-Door Moment." The leotard-wearing woman said, pulling off her wig and revealing themselves to be a teenage boy, who then slipped on a pair of sunglasses and the leather gloves they'd stolen from the actor as they passed, and left through the same door.

**Alright then! There's another one down! Next on my hurriedly made up list is something I was really considering doing for this; but then realised that I would rather make a whole new story out of it and left this little titbit alone. Well actually the larger morsel that this bit's part of, but anyway; The CCC road trip!**

"Hey there Frog!" Peanut's cheerful voice chirped through the phone, "Guess what!"

"It is a gecko?" I asked hopefully, she laughed.

"Nope! We're going on a road trip!" She squealed, I screamed excitedly and hopped out of bed,

"Wait, you can drive? When did that happen?" I asked, pulling out two backpacks and throwing them on the bed.

"Yesterday! My parents are calling all their friends and telling them to stay off the streets as we speak!" I laughed too this time,

"Awesome! Meet you at the base!" I flipped the pone shut and shoved it in the front pocket of my bag, "Hey Ed, road trip!" He stuck his head back into the room.

"What?"

"We're going on a road trip!"

"Oh, where? Why?" he questioned, I started shoving things into bags.

"I have no clue where, and because we can!" I pulled my phone out again and called Oryx to ask if she wanted to come, I got a pre-recorded message reminding me that she told me she and Al would be away on a safari for three weeks. I grabbed my purple card I'd created in X-Men land and slipped it into the pocket of my jeans as I went downstairs carrying mine and Ed's bags.

"Yo Shrimp!" I yelled,

"Who're you calling the tiniest little microscopic bean runt that you've ever seen except you can't see it anyway because it's so small you can't even see it with a microscope attached to fifty magnifying glasses!" Ed yelled loudly, I was surprised almost utterly by this reaction and managed to topple over sideways out the window and onto a passing Minion, who happened to be flying by.

"Awkward Defying-the-laws-of-Physics Moment." A teenager wearing a leather jacket and matching gloves commented from next to Ed, who almost fell out the same window.

**Yeah, that last one wasn't all that "Awkward" as such, but I thought it sounded like fun. I'm not sure how many more of these little scenes I've got, but I have one more that I want to share; regardless of it's content, because I liked it at the time; it had to be cut because of plot development, to my dismay. (You didn't think this story had that either, did you?).**

A door opened in one of the front panels of the blue box, facing away from the castle and out towards The Dark forest and Sun Lake, and three people stepped out.

The first was a tall brown haired man wearing an army coat with a blue shirt and dark grey pants, second to exit the box was a girl with short blonde hair who immediately went to look at the statue of a snarling Piskie in mid flight that was directly in front of her a few metres away, the last person to step out of the bow, closing the door firmly behind them, was another tall brown haired man, though his hair had much more character than the first man's did, sticking out in all directions. He was wearing a brown pinstriped suit with a long tan coat. He was also a fair sight skinnier than the other man, I quickly dubbed him Skinny.

"Where are we?" The blonde girl asked in an accent I gauged to be English of some kind, now looking at the spreading carpet of bluebells bordering The Forest, they were currently attracting a fair amount of butterflies that were truly delicious to chase. "It's beautiful."

"I'm not sure, I was aiming for Barcelona somewhere in the fifteenth century but this doesn't look quite right," Skinny said in an accent I also decided was from somewhere in England, "and that certainly doesn't look right at all." He continued bending down to prod at the cloud under his feet, pulling out a pair of black rimmed glasses as he did.

"What is that?" Non-skinny guy said coming over to crouch next to him, he had an American accent I noted.

"It's water vapour," Skinny said, waving a silver stick with a blue light on the end that emitted a slightly irritating noise over the cloud, "Not quite liquid, not quite solid. It's like… Well it's just like a cloud really." He reached out and stuck a finger into the cloud, pushing down, it sunk in quickly and kept going up to his elbow. He pulled his arm out, sopping wet now, and examined it with an almost manic interest. Blonde girl was still examining the statue of the Piskie, leaning in close.

"Doctor!" She called, I ran this through my mind, searching for a Doctor, and coming up with an option that was almost too good to be true. "Do you have any idea what this is?" Blonde pulled Skinny's, rather the Doctor's, arm until away from the ground, forcing him to leave off trying to scoop up and handful of the cloud. She dragged him over to the Piskie statue and stood him in front of it, American Guy followed.

"What's this?" The Doctor asked, waving his silver thing up and down the statue.

"Is that what lives here?" Blonde asked, the Doctor squinted at the statue and his silver thing in turn.

**No interruptions to that one, sorry if you like them, but I just wanted to share one of my favourite parts from something that couldn't see the light of day in the actual Canon. You know I just realised that in the middle of the Christmas Special there is a quite unfounded exchange in which a horde of Cockroaches invades the castles; much to Frog's displeasure, I currently am not sure if this has anything to do with the rest of the Special and would like to offer an explanation with this short scene: **

The Forest was dark and damp as the sun rose; casting it's feeble light hesitantly through the trees to rest lightly on the head of a boy who was sitting at the feet of the queen of the Elves of the dark forest. She regarded him from her throne with haughty indifference to humans; to elves she was giving him her full and concerned attention; he was speaking quickly, words almost tripping over each other as they tumble from his mouth like they were in a race.

"-and so you see that's why I had to go and join the motorcycle gang there was of course no reason why I couldn't have left after the three months was up but there was this amazing singer there and I really wanted to get to know him some more but I felt as if he wouldn't trust me you see so I had to go and join the poet society while still covering my shifts at he butcher store and volunteering at the library to help count bookmarks-"

His sentence, rapidly approaching some kind of milestone for lack of punctuation or drawn breath continued, and the Forest grew darker and denser, even as the sun rose and began to cast light more confidently.

"-but then I ran into this amazing group of travelling monkey trainers and you see there master wall ill so I had to help them since I know a little bit about monkeys after all that time I spent working in a zoo so I stayed with them for a while that's when I met the head monkey costume designer by all the stars in the sky I have never beheld a more beautiful human being-" On and on it went, on and on like a river without end, never pausing… until…

"That is enough!" a guard screeched, throwing his javelin at the boy, the razor sharp point was just about to bury itself into the soft flesh of his heart when in a flash he was transformed into a single snow goose. The javelin skimmed just above the former boy's now goose-like head and embedded itself in a nearby rotting tree, which then exploded with the force and magical power residing in the javelin, hat emerged from there was an enormous horde of cockroaches which then proceeded to rampage through the forest before crashing through the window of the castle and being sucked into a small multi-coloured box.

**Interestingly enough that didn't have an "Awkward" Moment in it either, but it was a whole heap of fun to write so let's go with it. This is a part of an early version of my Halloween Special, it ended about where it does in this version since I got stuck and couldn't think of where to take it, and so it morphed into the version you see in the posted story.**

I frowned, mind control? Really? Couldn't this kid think up anything better? He must have sensed my disbelief so he went on.

"And it was like I was still in control of my body, only someone I couldn't' ignore was telling my I had to do this important thing. This _very_ important thing. Turns out that thing was to give you that little sword." He stopped for a moment, frowning himself now.

"What is it Hamael?" I asked, his head snapped upwards.

"I just remembered I was meant to give you something else too." He reached inside his pocket again and pulled out a role of paper. I opened it, inside was a few lines of multi-coloured text. The text read; 'Follow the red back spider… This note will explode once you have finished reading this last sentence.' I dropped the note immediately and took a few hurried steps backwards. Nothing happened.

"Awkward." A boy wearing a jeans and a floppy grey hat said as he shot past on a skateboard.

"Awkward what!" I yelled after him.

**One more I think and then I shall have to bring this story to a close, finally. What to do for the last scene I shall ever have on this story? I think perhaps something that will epitomise what this story came from; a conversation! **

"I just can't believe you would do that!"

"Do what? You mean be so calm in a crisis? I know; I can hardly believe it myself sometimes!"

"No, you idiot; I meant what you just did back there! How could you say something like that to her!"

"Wait, I'm confused now… What did I say?"

"What did you say? My god what didn't you say! Could you have said anything else? Really? Anything at all?"

"Well… Maybe…"

"No! You couldn't have! Let me tell you right now there is absolutely nothing you could have said to make that situation any less…"

"Any less what?"

"Well… Uh… you know…"

"AWKWARD Not-knowing-how-to-describe-something Moment!"

"Yeah… Like that… Wait; where'd he go?

**And there you have it! There we are! Here we'll stay! This is it! The end! (I just had the overwhelming urge to quote the Lord of the Rings…) But I shan't. Anyway, without further ado I would like to officially declare this chapter over! Thank you my audience! If there is actually any of you left! I'll see you in the next chapter revision! **


End file.
